Tip: 10 Questions For My Mother

The mother-daughter relationship is one of the most important relationships — perhaps the most important — we’ll ever have in life. It’s certainly the first connection we make, that first bond that we look to for protection.

It shapes who we are and who we become. And while it can be complicated, messy, mysterious and fun all at the same time, it’s the relationship we keep coming back to.

My mom and I have always had a very unique relationship. Some of that has to do with my disability, sure, but beyond that? We’ve just always been naturally close. I grew up wanting to be just like her, and now as an adult, she’s the first person I come to for advice. Over the years, our relationship and respect for one another has only grown deeper.

As I got to thinking about Mother’s Day this year, I was inspired by the folks at Clementine Daily, who posed 10 questions to ask your mom to get her talking. Since I have a sneaky suspicion that my mom inherited her mother’s gift for storytelling, I thought I’d come up with my own set of questions!

1. What’s your fondest memory from childhood? 

2. How has your mother influenced your life? 

3. Did you always want to be a mom? Why? 

4. If you could change one thing about your past, what would it be? 

5. What is one thing you’d like to say to today’s generation? 

6. What’s the biggest lesson marriage taught you? 

7. What’s the most adventurous thing you’ve ever done? Was it worth it? 

8. If you could go back to any stage of motherhood, where would you go and why? 

9. What was your #1 fear as a new mother? Your #1 joy? 

10. What is one thing you’d like to ask your daughters?

The plan: I’m going to have my mom answer these question and will share her answers on So About What I Said on Thursday. I encourage you to think of your own questions. You might be surprised to learn a thing or two — or at the very least, a funny or embarrassing story.

What questions would you ask your mom? What would you like her to ask you? Do you have long, lingering conversations with your mom? What’s the biggest lesson she’s taught you over the years? xoxo


P.S. More motherhood posts, including my mother’s strength, three lessons from my mother, floating above grief and an open letter to my mom,

Blogging Club: On honest writing

For our first “club meeting,” I thought we’d start at the very beginning.

Writing.

By now, you’ve probably figured out that I’m pretty big on this whole writing thing. I always have been. In fact, I don’t remember a time when writing wasn’t a fixture in my life. Front and center. It was always there — faithful and at the ready, any time I needed it. Early on, it sort of paved the way for my life and really gave me a solid foundation under my feet. At times, like after my father died, it helped me express myself when speaking the words just never seemed to be enough!

So when I came across this quote on Twitter about writing, it practically jumped through the computer screen and screamed my name. It shown brightly like a lighthouse in a dark abyss, like a rainbow at the end of a fierce storm, like… well, I’ll just let the words speak for themselves…

Great writing is not perfect; it’s real. It bleeds and leaves a trace…

Over the last six years, that’s exactly what I’ve tried to do. The truth is (no pun intended…), I’ve tried to view blogging like a mirror that I held up to myself. I’ve always wanted to be who I am and never have that be something I’m afraid of or something I feel like I have to hide. So I’ve practiced writing honestly, and now, I can’t imagine writing any other way. It’s gone from something I want to do to something I have to do. I don’t know how to write any other way than with a heavy dose of honesty.

At the very least, I hope I’ve somewhat succeeded in my efforts.

Because when you strip it all away, all those layers and those facades and the people we think we are, you’re left with those imperfect, bleeding words. We find ourselves. We find our identity. It’s those imperfections that are so beautiful. There’s a certain intangible beauty in being real and vulnerable and your authentic self. Don’t cheat yourself of that experience. You can’t put your finger on it, but you can definitely feel it. And maybe that is what makes all the difference in the world in the end.

With great power comes great responsibility. The same can be said of writing. I hope you’ll always use your power and your words for good… xoxo

[Photos via We Heart It]

In The Pursuit of Happiness: Charlize Theron’s advice to women

I first fell in love with Charlize Theron when she starred opposite Keanu Reeves in the thriller Devil’s Advocate. That was wayyyy back in 1997, and since then, she’s always had a special place in my heart. I’ve admired her authenticity, her strength, her sense of self. The actress graces the May cover of W magazine, and in true Theron form, she dispenses the kind of advice that makes me want to sit up straight and take meticulous notes…

“That’s my encouragement to 20-year-olds who are terrified of getting older: Don’t have a nervous breakdown and don’t hit the Chardonnay too hard. Now that I’m older, I know I’m not missing out on anything,” she says. “Now, I go home, and that feels really good. When I hit 30, I realized I didn’t have to please everybody. I could actually enjoy life, which is not a bad thing at all.”

So often, we find ourselves comparing our lives, our goals, even our hobbies to everyone around us. I’ve found myself doing that more times than I’d like to admit. We create this invisible standard that we feel like we MUST measure up to. It’s totally unrealistic, sure, but that’s not really the point. We think that if we measure up, then all our problems will be solved and our lives will suddenly be perfect. And then we’re disappointed when we realize that it’s not true — that the standard we’ve been holding ourselves to is nothing but a lie.

Thank you, Charlize! Isn’t her advice great and a breath of fresh air? What celebrity advice have you been loving lately? Do you have a favorite Charlize quote or movie? Let’s chat, friends! xoxo

[Via PEOPLE]

New series: Blogging Club

Over the last six years, I’ve enjoyed sharing a peek inside my life as a blogger. We’ve talked about things like Internet niceness, blogging misconceptions, my day-to-day routine, lessons learned and even goal setting. These posts have always sparked awesome conversation, and I’ve loved hearing your stories and blogging advice.

So! I got to thinking a few weeks ago: What if we started a Blogging Club. A virtual water cooler, if you will, where we can chat about all things blogging, swap tips and tricks and inspire each other along the way. The blog community is an amazing force, and I’d love to celebrate that spirit on So About What I Said — everything from generating post ideas to the wonders of social media.

What do you think, friends? Would you like to see more behind-the-scenes posts as a regular feature on So About What I Said? What are some topics you’d like to see me write about? Leave your suggestions in the comments or email me at mellow1422@aol.com with your thoughts! I’m so excited and can’t wait to hear from you, friends!! Happy blogging!! xoxo

[Photo via We Heart It]

An Open Letter To Kelly Clarkson

Dear Kelly…

I suppose we should just get the obvious out of the way first, right?

You’re amazing.

That might even be an understatement, considering I’ve admired you ever since you won the first season of American Idol in 2002. You’ve shown the world your hardworking spirit through album after album, through concert after concert and even despite weekly critics from some guy named Simon Cowell. You’ve been through a lot, needless to say, but there’s one thing that has towered above all that. It’s resonated with me and millions of others.

You silenced those evil body-shamers…

“We are who we are — whatever size. It doesn’t mean that we’re gonna be that forever. That’s the thing! Sometimes we’re more fit. Like, especially me. I’m such a creative person that I yo-yo. Sometimes I’m more fit and I get into kickboxing hardcore. And then sometimes I don’t and I’m like, ‘I’d rather have wine.'”

They had some nerve, didn’t they? Thank you for having the poise and the courage to be who you are and for encouraging others to be unapologetic as well. So many young women feel so much pressure these days to say the right thing and project the right look, and sadly, they so easily lose themselves in the process. Thank you for showing them it doesn’t have to be that way and for being a voice for them. They need it.

I won’t pretend that I’ve always loved everything about my body. We didn’t always have the best relationship. I used to hate my freckles and all my surgical scars and even my deformed hands. Sometimes, I even hated looking in the mirror. If I didn’t look, I thought, those supposed imperfections wouldn’t exist.

You also taught us another lesson: Self-love is the most important thing. It doesn’t matter what anyone says, whatever stares or glares people through your direction or whatever those bullies on the playground say. In the end, it’s all just background noise. It doesn’t matter. People can say whatever they want — you know they will. But you know what? Let them! Over the years, I’ve learned that it takes work to cultivate a love for your body and to find that inner self confidence, but it’s there if you’re willing to look hard enough. And that love is something no one can ever take away from you.

But perhaps most importantly, thank you for being a role model for your daughter. Thanks to you, River is going to grow up with a mother who teaches her all about love and the power of self-confidence. Trust me, there’s no greater gift you could ever give her. She — and all of us — will be forever grateful. We’ve all had our own body battles and it’s so refreshing to see someone who has faced theirs head-on and come out on the other side. Thank you for being our idol, Kelly! xoxo