My Essay on Refinery29: Why I Spent A Year Posting Selfies

SelfiesHi, friends!! How are you? I’ve got a whole bunch of new published pieces to share with you, so I thought now would be the perfect time to do just that! First up is an essay I wrote for Refinery29 about my favorite topic in all the world: Selfies

Back in September, I knew that I wanted to write about what I learned from a year of posting selfies and I’m SO proud of this piece and I’m so glad I got to tell this story! I grew up feeling different (and looking different) from people my age, which definitely impacted my self-image. With my selfies, it’s like I’m having a conversation with my younger self, telling her all the things I wish I had known back when I was a teenager.

I started posting selfies as a defiant response to trolls…sort of saying “You don’t want to see my photos? I’m going to post one EVERY DAY! What do you think of that?”

Yes, friends, the quickest way to get me to do something is to tell me NOT to do it.

It’s like I wrote in the piece, selfies are a powerful thing for disabled people — and especially for disabled women. It’s a way to open up the conversation about what it means to live life with a disability, but it’s also a way to take back the narrative and take up space in a society that doesn’t want to include us AT ALL

Here’s an excerpt of the piece, in which I reflect on how my selfies weren’t just for me, but in support of the entire disability community…

I may have started this year of selfies for myself, but I soon realized that these selfies weren’t just about me. Other disabled people told me they identified with my words, too, and they began posting selfies of their own. They started sharing their stories and showing the world who they are. I’ve often felt very alone as a disabled person and for the first time, I was seeing the disability community taking our rightful place at society’s table. Finally, I was seeing people like me — people who weren’t ashamed of who they are — and it was one of the most glorious things I’ve ever experienced.

We don’t typically think of selfies as being a revolutionary act or even political, but they are, especially in 2020. It’s a way of taking back my power and painting a more accurate picture of disability.

SelfiesFor this piece, the Refinery29 designers created this really cool selfies collage and I absolutely love it. Not just because it’s a great visual representation of the last year of my life, but because it’s amazing disability representation!

These selfies are for every single disabled person.

These selfies are a statement.

Our lives and our stories matter.

A special thank you to all the trolls for helping me learn these lessons! Something tells me I’m going to keep posting daily selfies…at least for awhile longer! Never let anyone tell you that selfies don’t matter. They do!

You can read the full piece here and I’d love to hear your thoughts. Feel free to email me anytime at mellow1422@aol.com and let’s chat! And of course, feel free to share my essay on Facebook, Twitter or even your local refrigerator. If you share on Twitter, be sure to tag me @melissablake so I see your tweet and we can connect! I can’t wait to hear from you! Love you all… xoxo

Enjoying a Cozy Winter with FabFitFun

FabFitFunWhen you hear the phrase “quintessential winter,” what is the first thing that comes to mind? A day spent on the ice twirling around? Sledding down a giant hill covered in a dusting of freshly fallen snow? For me, the chilly (OK, downright COLD!) Midwest winters have always been about one thing: Staying warm and cozy inside!! And this year, FabFitFun is here to help me have the coziest winter yet!!

FabFitFun, known for its seasonal subscription box, is all about “delivering happiness and well-being to everyone, everywhere” and it’s the ultimate in comfort delivered right to your door! That comfort comes in the form of 8-10 full-size products each season — everything from beauty to fashion to wellness to home and even tech.

I’m so excited to team up with them this month for my FIRST-EVER subscription box experience; yes, I know I’m late to the game, friends!! They recently released their winter box with the theme of “Shimmer, Spice, and Everything Nice.” Honestly, it couldn’t have come at a more perfect time! I was able to choose my own products, which meant that I could fill that box with things I’d love and use. What was my #1 requirement as I scrolled through the list of items?

COMFORT, COMFORT, COMFORT

Oh, did I mention COMFORT?

Yes, during these days when it’s getting dark at 4:30 p.m. and I just want to hibernate in my nice warm bed, I’m all about self-care as we near the end of 2020.

So, what does my curated box look like? It’s filled to the brim (Literally! Check out that photo…the box is bigger than I am!) with the essentials for the perfect winter weekend indoors!! Take a look…

FabFitFunFor holiday rom-com marathons…

For some reason, I’ve been really into cucumbers lately, eating them practically every day at lunch, so this cutting board set from Eparé (Retail price: $19.95) are going to come in handy!! Would you believe my family has never owned any kind of cutting board? People are always shocked to learn that and now we’ll be able to show off our kitchen know-how!!

FabFitFun FabFitFunFor holiday tree decorating…

We opted for our three small trees again this year instead of one big one. One of my favorite parts of the holiday season is turning the lights off and enjoying the glow of the twinkling lights on each of those three trees!!

This year, I’m going to be extra warm, thanks to this Summer & Rose robe (Retail price: $70) and these cabin socks from MUK LUKS (Retail price: $25). As you can see, I was loving them!! They were soft, comfy and warm, which is perfect since my feet always get cold!! Also, I’m pretty sure I could wear the robe every day and never get tired of it!

And speaking of cold, there’s no better way to warm up in the winter than with some hot chocolate!! I’ve always loved Lilly Pulitzer’s bright colors and now I can enjoy them with every sip of cocoa!! How cool are these ceramic mugs (Retail price: $42)?

Each season, FabFitFun also partners with a charity and for this winter season, they’re working with Stand Up To Cancer to raise awareness about how the ongoing pandemic has affected cancer care, which sees patients at a higher risk of infection and disproportionately affects communities of color — a group already underrepresented when it comes to cancer research.

FabFitFun I really enjoyed trying out all these cool products and I loved that I was able to choose items that both reflected my personality and that will make these dark winter days just a little bit brighter!!

If you’re looking to cozy up your days too, we’ve got you covered! Head over to FabFitFun and use code MELISSABLAKE to get your first box for only $39.99 — available in the U.S., Canada, and U.K.

I can’t wait to see your box, friends!! xoxo

(This post is sponsored by FabFitFun, though all opinions are mine. Thanks so much for continuing to support So About What I Said’s wonderful sponsors!)

Caring for Ourselves and Keeping Our Skin Looking Its Best

SkinThe world we live in has changed in the last month with the global pandemic making most of us think even more about how to look after ourselves in the right way. One area that many of us will struggle with as we look to fight the onset of COVID-19 is that of living a life that keeps us healthy. One of the first signs of living an unhealthy lifestyle is the effect it has on our skin with blemishes, acne and a general lack of brightness. This can all be caused by our lifestyle choices, so here are 7 tips to keep in mind…

1. Sleeping on Your Stomach Is a Bad Option

We are always facing a barrage of options and news about the right amount of sleep we should be getting in the modern world, but we often forget about the issues we face when it comes to the position in which we sleep. We often question whether we get enough sleep, but we rarely think about how we sleep. Is it bad to sleep on your stomach? This question has been asked by those worried about getting wrinkles when sleeping. When our face is always on the pillow, we tend to see more wrinkles and we are also getting oil and other germs from the pillow.
Sleeping on your stomach can reduce how much sleep you get by causing pain in the neck and back. This only adds to your lack of sleep leading to you seeing more skin problems.

2. Not Exercising Enough

As the period of self-isolation because of the rise of COVID-19 has shown us, it is easy to slip into bad habits and not exercise enough. Sitting for too long and not getting the exercise we all need is a major problem. Remember that more exercise leads to better-looking skin. For most of us, exercise is a way of staying healthy, but without increasing your heart rate, you will usually fail to rejuvenate your skin cells for the bright, vibrant look we all want.

3. Not Getting Enough Sleep

This is one of the most common problems we all face as we live our lives. We want to know how to stay healthy and get enough sleep. The effects of not getting enough sleep are many, including the issue of the collagen that keeps our skin looking young not replenishing each day. Sleep is extremely important for us all. A lack of sleep can aggravate cases of eczema, acne and various skin allergies.

4. Too Little Water

I know we always hear about the benefits of water, but there is no doubt the more water we drink, the better we feel and look. Drinking eight glasses of water each day is one of the most difficult tasks we face, with eight glasses each day the recommended amount, according to The Guardian. By drinking the correct amount of water, we can remain healthy and keep our skin looking vibrant throughout each day.

5. Pimples

A pimple on the face is one of the things we all dread seeing when we wake up in the morning. Don’t pick at them because what we are doing is spreading the dirt and possible infection to other areas of the skin around the pimple.

Skin6. Don’t Use Hot Water on Your Face

When we feel our faces are dirty, you probably act like me and turn on the hot water before washing with my usual products. This may seem like the correct course of action, but, in general, you should stay away from the hot water that is too hot for your hands to handle. Our faces have a natural barrier of oils that can make it difficult for you to look your best when it is removed by water that is too hot for our faces. Tepid or lukewarm water should have enough heat to open up the pores and allow you to feel cleaner.

7. Not Reading the Directions on Your Products

When you begin using a new product for your face or body, it is always a good idea to make sure you are only using the correct amount of product that is recommended. Using too much of an oily skincare product can clog your pores and lead to acne and other blemishes.

–Sara Stringer is a freelance writer who enjoys blogging about lifestyle, relationships and life as a woman. In her spare time, she enjoys soaking up the sunshine with her husband and two kids. Compensation was received for the editing and publishing of this article.

[Photos via Unsplash]

My Essay on The Week: “How Ulta Beauty Is Changing Beauty Norms With Its New Wheelchair Ad”

Ulta BeautyMakeup and I have always had a rather tumultuous relationship. I’ve never understood makeup — or maybe I was insecure because of my disability and never really thought I deserved to wear it? Either way, I’m SO glad that I got to write about something that involves both the beauty world AND the disability community: How Ulta Beauty is changing the game by including a model in a wheelchair in their new ad campaign.

It’s my third op-ed for The Week and it’s particularly poignant that it should come out during the week of my big viral tweet because, at the heart of it, that tweet highlighted disabilities and, especially, society’s perceptions of what it means to be beautiful. There are so many beauty standards that I despise, but the one that gets under my skin the most and makes me rage to high heavens is this idea that disabilities and deformities aren’t beautiful. That there somehow ugly and repulsive and disgusting. THAT idea is disgusting and one that I’ll work forever and ever to change.

Here’s an excerpt of the piece, in which I discuss such things are inclusion and what it would mean for young people to see this ad and be able to feel like they belong in the hallowed aisles of Ulta Beauty…

We live in a society with very strict definitions of what it means to be beautiful. I learned from a very young age that my disability would never be synonymous with pretty or sexy or even cute, and I internalized a lot of those harmful messages — some of them I’m still trying to unlearn as an adult…and Ulta is sending a powerful message with a single photo: It’s time to challenge conventional beauty standards because beautiful comes in ALL forms.

We all want to see ourselves represented in society. We all want to feel included, like we belong. When it comes to disabilities, that feeling of inclusion is so important. I was well into my 30s when I stepped (well, rolled) into Ulta for the first time, and it was certainly an overwhelming experience. I had no idea what I was doing and felt like I was entering a new world without a map; I felt like I was out of place, as if I was peeking into an exclusive club that I wasn’t invited to. Imagine how my experience would have been different had I seen a model in a wheelchair. In the new ad, she’s smiling, as if to say, “Welcome. Yes, you belong!”

You can read the full piece here and I’d love to hear your thoughts. Feel free to email me anytime at mellow1422@aol.com and let’s chat! And of course, feel free to share my essay on Facebook, Twitter or even your local refrigerator. If you share on Twitter, be sure to tag me @melissablake so we can connect! I can’t wait to hear from you! Love you all… xoxo

P.S. Thanks to Ms. Bear for snapping the photo for me!!

Etsy Love: Heart Nails For Galentine’s Day

Heart NailsI’ve got a Valentine’s Day gift guide coming up, but apparently TODAY is Galentine’s Day! You all know I’m all about celebrating the wonderful friends we have in our lives, so can we take a moment to appreciate these heart nails from NorthofSalem on Etsy?

They’re cute and festive, and they would make a fun gift, don’t you think?? Janelle painted my nails bright red over the holidays, and now I’m itching to paint them again! There’s just something about reds and pinks! Or, is that just me, friends??

What do you think? Would you sport these nails? Thoughts? xoxo