Tip: On the lost art of free time

The same conversation rears its ugly head at least once a week at our house…

My mom: “Why does time seem to move so fast?“

Me: “What happened to all that free time we used to have?“

My mom: “I know! There’s no time for fun anymore!“

Said conversation typically occurs on a Sunday night when we find ourselves panicking about the coming week. Instead of feeling refreshed and relaxed from the weekend, all we can do is think about our long to-do list and all the things we didn’t get done over the last two days.

Life wasn’t always like this, after all. Even 10 years ago, I can remember being able to carve out just enough free time in my schedule to recharge my batteries whenever I needed to. I almost took it for granted that it would always be there for me whenever I needed it. Now, though, free time has become something of a scarce commodity. Maybe you feel the same way. It’s almost as if we’ve forgotten just how to take — and enjoy! — the downtime we so desperately crave.

Author Elizabeth Grace Saunders knows a thing or two about the subject, as she’s spent many hours tackling her to-do list. The result? Tasks completed, yes, but with one very heavy side effect — exhaustion. It’s during this period of exhaustion, Saunders says, that it’s important to relearn the art of free time, she says.

“This requires choosing to not feel guilty about wanting time to truly relax and be creative. If you don’t make a conscious choice for rest, you will find yourself always filling your time by ticking off items instead of giving yourself space to be in the moment—thinking, doodling, reading, musing, or doing whatever fills you creatively.”

She also gives a few strategies for achieving a new level of Zen in your life, like staying in tune with yourself, protecting time in your week and not setting an agenda. Yikes! That last one sort of scares me, but maybe it’s that fear that could be the ultimate motivator, you know?

“If you can’t think straight, start tripping over your words, have a headache, or feel agitated and annoyed at everything, it’s a sign that something is off. Instead of attempting to push through, pull back and give yourself some space. Your body knows what it needs — listen to it.”

Such amazing advice, don’t you think, friends? Let’s challenge each other to take back those little moments of free time in our lives, shall we? How do you enjoy your downtime? Do you ever feel guilty about it? How do you stop yourself from that “keep going” mentality? I’d love to hear your tips and tricks! xoxo

P.S. Words of encouragement, five things not to worry about, one simple tip for journaling and how to remember names.

[Photos via We Heart It]

Guy Talk: On the popularity of geeks

Yesterday, I shared a woman’s perspective on geek culture, and today, I’m excited to hear the male point of view. Mark Brooks is an online dating expert and writes a weekly dating column. He answers some very important, need-to-know questions below…

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Why have geeks suddenly gained such credibility now?
In the past, there’s been a stigma about geeks that has made them unpopular to some people. However, geeks have always had credibility for people who are not entirely hung up on superficial categorizations. Some people look more towards the all-American or the jock type of guy when looking for a partner. They look at them and think alpha male. However, they eventually find out that broad shoulders or a good style will only get you so far in a relationship. Women have traditionally dated the cool guys and then sought comfort and understanding from their geekier friends when Mr. Cool turns out to be a dud.

Sadly, it isn’t so much of a self-realization that has made women more open to geeks, but pop culture. With our reliance on technology, it’s good to have a geek around. One major retail chain even hails the existence of their geek squad. There’s also the concept that you can turn a geek into something more. Take a look at Patrick Dempsy. To millions of people, he was the geeky kid on the lawn mower in “Can’t Buy Me Love.” Now he’s “McDreamy.” A few years, a better tan and a set of hand weights and you’ve got a whole new man. With Mr. Cool, what you see is what you get, but with a geek, women often times see potential.

Why have they been avoided as potential dates in the past?
In the past, geeks have been avoided by some because they have been considered weaker and more social awkward than cooler people. There’s also been the concern from “normal people” that they just don’t have anything in common with geeks. Thankfully, much of this stereotyping is starting to erode.

What can women gain by giving a geek a chance?
The first thing you have to consider is that women have the same thing to gain by dating a geek as they do in dating a “cool person.” After all, geeks are people too, right? So first off, women have the chance to meet someone they can build a great relationship with. That said, there are certain advantages to having a geek on your arm. For example, geeks who have been written off by people in the past because of social status, tend to be much more tender and accepting partners. They look below the surface and are more interested in who someone really is instead of whatever they are tagged with by society. For the most part, geeks are not players. In fact, they are the anti-player. Most people in relationships with geeks tend to find that they feel more like they are in a real partnership than when they were dating Mr. Cool. There’s more of an interest in connecting on both end and that leads to a much more attentive partner and a greater feeling of security in the relationship. Also, they tend to be pretty handy when it comes to fixing computers or messing with high tech gadgets.

What are the best hot spots for meeting a lovable geek?
Well, as anyone could tell you, geeks like to hang out under stairwells in dark alleys where they can roll their 12-sided dice in relative peace and tranquility while they eat their Cheetos and drink copious amounts of Mountain Dew. OK, seriously, where would you find a geek that you’d like to date? Probably some place that you’d already want to go to. Geeks have many interests. They don’t all huddle up in basements and comic book stores. They go where there is art, intelligent conversation, creativity…you name it. You might find one in the bookstore or maybe at a gallery exhibit. You could find the perfect geek on the elliptical next to you at the gym or even standing next to you in the produce aisle. Believe it or not, they are everywhere!

[Photo via We Heart It]

In The Pursuit of Happiness: On the evolution of geeks

Yesterday, we began an intimate look inside the ever-evolving world of geekdom, and I shared a quote from Lauren Stracner, a Los Angeles-based PR coordinator and self-proclaimed nerd fan. Today, I’m psyched to share the rest of our interview! Ready to get your geek on? Here. We. Go…

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A bit of background about Lauren: I work for a public relations firm that specializes in working with consumer electronics clients. In 2009, I went to the Consumer Electronics Show in Las Vegas to work at a client’s booth, and CES is where I met my boyfriend. The Jeopardy! Tournament of
Champions was being filmed at the Sony booth, and I secured stand-by tickets for the final show. I was #5 in line, he was #6 — all bespectacled, curly-haired 6’9” of him. We had two hours to talk and the rest is history.

Why have geeks suddenly gained such credibility now?
The joke phrase “the geek shall inherit the earth” has come true: We’ve become a society that’s almost wholly dependent on technology not just for entertainment, but for making our day-to-day lives run smoothly. Even non-geeks are trying to out-geek each other by lining up for the latest consumer electronics gadgets. Even Hollywood stops for geeks when Comic-con International — a.k.a. Nerdvana — rolls into San Diego every year, with studios previewing their latest blockbusters to gauge the all-important reactions from the attendees. Smart phones, high-powered laptops,
super-realistic video games, eye-popping movie special effects — geeks are behind all that now “wows” us, making the brains that develop such toys the new hot commodity.

Why have they been avoided as potential dates in the past?
Societal pressure from movies, television, magazines and books has always dictated that geeks should be shuffled to the sidelines as the endearing sidekick to the more masculine romantic lead. A perfect example of this is actually embodied in my boyfriend, who has long had several close girl friends who had no desire to actually close that space and become a girlfriend because he was a geek and not the guy they felt they should be dating. Their loss. ;)

However, with the culture shift towards an emphasis on science and technology, geeks are in the spotlight, as is their success. With the exposure, they’re also finally able to shed the basement-dwelling gamer stereotypes and present themselves as clever, funny, even cute people with multi-layered interests and an endless supply of conversation topics. With smart becoming a new form of sexy, they’re definitely transitioning from third-wheel to main catch.

What can women gain by giving a geek a chance?
Most geeks make great conversation because they’re excited about learning and want to share their knowledge and engage in discussions. Also, in my personal experiences, geeks don’t try to adhere to the expected alpha-male model of masculinity; they aren’t afraid to be sweet, sensitive and genuine.

What are the best hot spots for meeting a lovable geek?
As I mentioned, I met my geek at the Consumer Electronics Show in Las Vegas. I’ve also talked to some great geek guys at Comic-Con, Siggraph (a graphic artists’ convention) and E3 (a game developers’ convention). However, most of these are industry events I get into because of my job, but alternative approaches are out there. The most important thing is to go where geeks are in their element and comfortable. You’re probably not going to pick up a geek at a trendy bar.

P.S. An EXCITING ANNOUNCEMENT is coming up this afternoon! Get pumped, friends! :)

[Photos via We Heart It]

Tip: Write a personal manifesto

Speaking of balance, it can be so easy to get stressed these days, can’t it? Sometimes, it seems like all you have to do is breathe and all that crazy stress just fills your lungs. Appointments, obligations, family, work, those never-ending to-do lists, even a headache that’s been nagging me for the last couple of days — they all compete for our attention.

I’m always on the hunt for ways to dial back the stress, even if it’s only a little (every little bit helps, right?), and sometimes, I’ve found, just writing things down…just…gets…it…off…my…chest.

Enter: The manifesto.

Think of it as a playbook or a road map for your journey ahead. What do you want to accomplish? What steps do you have to take to get there? What’s your action plan going to be? They can even be little rules that you want to follow to enrich your life. 99U, the Web hub that helps you makes your ideas a reality, perfectly explains the power of manifestos…

“Manifestos are a powerful catalyst. By publicly stating your views and intentions, you create a pact for taking action. If you want to change the world, even in just a small way, creating a personal or business manifesto is a great place to start. Needless to say, developing a set of principles that you believe in and constantly strive to stand by is an invaluable tool.”

The article also lists the personal manifestos of some famous — and successful! — folks, like Frank Lloyd Wright (“An honest ego in a healthy body“), Seth Godin (“The greatest bloggers blog for their readers, not for themselves“), Leo Tolstoy (“Get up early — five o’clock“) and Apple (“We have the self-honesty to admit when we’re wrong and the courage to change“).

I’m a big fan of outlining. Whether you’re thinking of changing careers, moving to a new city or merely trying to add more vegetables to your diet, articulating your vision and ideas is a solid first step. A few things on my personal manifesto…

*Give your heart in all you do. It could make all the difference in the world.
*People want to help. Let them in.
*Trust your instinct and stick to your guns.
*Develop a routine and make sure you follow it.
*Family comes first, no matter what.
*Don’t be afraid to blog exactly how you’re feeling. Honesty and vulnerability is a beautiful thing.
*Sing like nobody’s listening and fangirl to your heart’s content.
*Smile like it could move mountains.
*Be the friend you’d like to have.
*Kindness is a gift. Give it often.

So, friends, have you ever written a personal manifesto? What are some things you’d include on your list? Have your goals/ideas changed over the years? Do you think they’ll change in the future? I’d love to hear what’s on your manifesto now, so be sure to share in the comments! Let’s inspire each other, shall we? xoxo

[Photos via We Heart It]

In The Pursuit of Happiness: Sarah Jessica Parker on finding balance

I first fell in love with Sarah Jessica Parker long before she slipped on those Manolo Blahnik and strutted the streets of New York City as Carrie Bradshaw. It was even before she made being a witch ultra chic in Hocus Pocus. I was around 10, and it was a little film called Girls Just Wanna Have Fun (fun fact: A young Helen Hunt also stars in the movie!). Parker played a wide-eyed teen with dreams of becoming a regular on a cable TV dance show. I must have seen the movie — and memorized all of the dance numbers — about 55126512 times.

See? My girl crush goes wayyyyy back.

I’ve admired so much about her over the years, from her trailblazing fashion sense to her strong sense of self, so I suppose it’s only fitting that I share a great Parker-ism in honor of her 50th birthday yesterday. She spoke to Woman’s Day in 2007, where she shared her thoughts on that elusive “B” word — balance…

“As a woman, I have an inherent need to be all things to all people, to make certain everybody’s taken care of. I know I can’t sustain that level all the time, so I’m finding the proper balance and it’s made me infinitely happier.”

How refreshing is that? So often, we look at other people — not just other women — and it seems like they have everything all figured out. And sometimes, we even start to wonder if we’re doing it all wrong or why no one sent us the memo on finding that perfect balance. But, thanks to Sarah Jessica Parker, I feel a little less alone in my plight, which makes all the difference in the world.

How have you been finding balance lately, friends? What tricks have worked for you? Do you find that some aspects of your life are more balanced than others? Let’s chat! xoxo