My Essay on The Week: “I Love Rom-Coms, But Where’s the Female Disabled Lead?”

rom-comsWhen was the last time you saw a disabled woman as the lead in rom-coms?

That’s the question I explore in my latest piece for The Week, where I explored things like love and disability and the “disabled people are asexual” stereotype. I love rom-coms, but the lack of representation is staggering. It’s TIME to have a disabled woman as the lead.

In fact, I’ve spent so much time lately reconciling my love of rom-coms with their lack of diversity, especially when it comes to disability representation. Maybe it’s the result of being older? Because I certainly never asked these types of questions when I was a teenager watching my favorite love stories play out on screen. I pictured myself as the main character as she falls in love with the dashing male lead.

Well, not anymore, friends. Granted, I still watch said movies, but I no longer see myself in the female leads. And that’s a huge problem.

Here’s an excerpt of the piece, in which I remind society, YET AGAIN, of all the things disabled people are and what they’re not. You’d think people would catch on by now, but…

Of course I want to see people like me on the screen, but I also want the able-bodied world to see people like me on the screen. Contrary to that age-old stereotype, disabled people aren’t asexual beings who live in solitude. I would love for the whole world to see that, yes, we deserve love — and our own rom-com plot lines — just like everyone else.

Our society has a long history of telling people with disabilities that we’re not pretty. I was reminded of that recently when I was told I was too ugly to post selfies — I clapped back with this viral tweet. I can’t help but think that featuring people with disabilities more in mainstream culture — in movies, certainly — would counteract those ignorant, hurtful beliefs.

You can read the full piece here and I’d love to hear your thoughts. Feel free to email me anytime at mellow1422@aol.com and let’s chat! And of course, feel free to share my essay on Facebook, Twitter or even your local refrigerator. If you share on Twitter, be sure to tag me @melissablake so we can connect! I can’t wait to hear from you! Love you all… xoxo

All the Feels: How Frozen 2’s Kristoff Redefined Masculinity For a New Generation

KristoffAs I mentioned yesterday, there’s A LOT going on in Frozen 2 — even beyond the powerful statements about sisterhood. Case in point: The adorably sweet and lovable Kristoff. The portrayal of his character and how he presents healthy masculinity is such a groundbreaking Disney first and it’s so important that we keep talking about it, even long after the movie is gone from the theaters.

First, though, I must admit something: I didn’t pick up on this right away. Don’t get me wrong — I’ve always loved Kristoff, with his sheepish grin and boyish nature. Plus, did you know that he was raised by trolls?? How cool is that?? Like I said, there’s a lot to love about this guy. But as I sat in the theater, I was so focused on Elsa and Anna and completely absorbed in their sisterly love, so I think I overlooked Kristoff’s storyline. Or maybe I just passed it off as not that important??

Well, friends, I’m here to tell you: His storyline IS important! It’s so important. And the fact that this is a Disney movie makes it even more meaningful. We’re so used to the typical Disney trope: Damsel in distress. Dashing prince on horseback gallops up and saves her — and saves the day in the process. The prince is deemed the hero and everything is happy for all eternity, but usually not before there’s a snag or two — namely, the princess strolls about singing some catchy but morose song about how she doesn’t know how said prince feels about her and how she has no idea where their relationship is going.

Yet in Frozen 2, it’s Elsa and Anna who are the heroes. They’re the ones who are in charge and saving the day on their own. They don’t need a prince at all. So here we see Kristoff being the one left behind to do the pining and pondering. In fact, he sings a monstrous ’80s-inspired power ballad about his feelings.

KristoffSinging about his feelings. His genuine, honest, vulnerable feelings and, well, it’s AMAZING to see him not holding back in any way. He isn’t afraid to talk about his feelings. He’s not afraid of being seen as a “weak” man. And he certainly isn’t too prideful to put it all out there.

And all throughout the film, he’s the one selflessly supporting Anna with key lines like…

*”My love is not fragile.”

*”I’m here. What do you need?”

Do you see just how powerful this is? In a world that is still dripping with toxic masculinity — those dangerous things we teach boys about what it means to “be a man” — here’s Kristoff essentially rejecting all that. In its place, he gives us a new version of masculinity — one that is healthy and evolved and every mood that we need in 2020. He’s Elsa and Anna’s equal; instead of trying to save them in the epic battle, he’s fighting alongside them.

That is the definition of a real man. I’m telling my kids that this is healthy masculinity. Men being vulnerable is sexy. Men talking about their feelings is sexy. Men sharing their emotions is sexy.

Kristoff is all those things. Be more like Kristoff. Please, world, be more like Kristoff. We need you now more than ever… xoxo

My Essay on Parade: “Frozen 2 Reminded Me That Sisterhood Can Still Save the Day”

Frozen 2 Frozen 2Did you see Frozen 2 yet, friends??? One of the best moments of 2019 was seeing the film rewrite the script for Happily Ever After! I got to write about what it means to see the love between sisters save the day and it’s my first piece for Parade magazine!

For some context, I was a huge fan of the first movie, which wasn’t like any Disney movie I’d ever seen. So going into Frozen 2, I had high hopes, especially in light of all the amazing trailers that had been released. Elsa using her powers to traverse a raging rapid?? I was totally here for that! But the movie blew all my expectations out of the water (pun intended!) in the best way possible! The plot! The music! Olaf! The portrayal of masculinity — a discussion of that is coming in a separate blog post because, naturally, I’ve got lots to say about that!

Frozen 2But back to Frozen 2. My editor asked if I could see the film before writing my piece and I love that my job involves going to see Frozen 2. But, really, what I love the most is that my mom went with me!! Perfect movie date!! We had such a great afternoon and guess what??? My mom liked the movie too, so it’s a double win, if you ask me!

Here’s an excerpt of the piece, and, yes, I did have help with it because Elsa is the perfect muse…

Frozen 2 may be action-packed and full of catchy tunes, but it was all the touching moments between Elsa and Anna that had me smiling and feeling grateful that I have a sister to support me, like these two characters do.

“What would I do without you?” Elsa asks at one point in the film. “You’ll always have me,” Anna says.

Those words are so similar to conversations I’ve had with Janelle, but I never really understood just how powerful they were until I saw the dialogue come to life onscreen. They’re simple words, sure, but this was the first time that a Disney movie helped me learn the value in love…sisterly love, specifically.

Here’s a movie, finally, that says, “Yes, there is more than romantic love. And, yes, those different kinds of love are just as worthwhile.”

I see so much of my sister and me in the movie and I’m so glad this generation has Elsa and Anna!! Thank you for such a moving portrayal of sisterhood…

Frozen 2You can read the full piece here and I’d love to hear your thoughts. Feel free to email me anytime at mellow1422@aol.com and let’s chat! And of course, feel free to share my essay on Facebook, Twitter or even your local refrigerator. If you share on Twitter, be sure to tag me @melissablake so I see your tweet and we can connect! I can’t wait to hear from you! Love you all… xoxo

The Oscars, Greta Gerwig and Why Little Women Is Still More Relevant Than Ever

Greta GerwigThey say that art imitates life and is a reflection of the time period in which it is created. If that’s true, then the same can certainly be said of this year’s Oscars nominations! By now, I’m sure you’ve all seen the distressing headlines about Greta Gerwig getting snubbed for Best Director in favor of all male nominees. And, as I’m sure you can also imagine, I’m not too happy about. In fact, I’m flabbergasted at the sheer irony of it all.

The snub underscores the exact themes of the movie — things like women, money and power. How women are struggling to gain footing, power and recognition in a male-dominated world. How women have to fight a million times harder just to be seen and heard. Basically, it illustrates precisely why Gerwig made Little Women in the first place.

There’s a double twist of cruel irony in the Oscars snubbing Greta Gerwig for Best Director in favor of all male nominees. Little Women itself is a film about empowered women carving out a life for themselves and pushing back against the patriarchy. Gerwig has done just that and yet she’s not being recognized for it.

Even the actors in Little Women were shocked by the snub. For example, Florence Pugh, who plays Amy, gave a brilliant quote in response…

“She’s [Greta Gerwig] literally made a film about this,” Pugh explained. “She made a film about women working and their relationship with money and their relationship with working in a man’s world. That’s literally what Little Women is about, so [this] only underlines how important it is — because it’s happening.”

Also ironically, the snub underscores the importance of Little Women’s Jo March, who is arguably the most outspoken and independent of the four March sisters

Like the rest of civilization, I sat glued to my phone to watch the much-anticipated trailer for Little Women, the latest big screen adaptation of Louisa May Alcott’s classic story of four spirited sisters. While I’ve always identified with each sister’s spunky resolve, I found myself practically shouting “YES” when Jo gave her impassioned speech…

“Women, they have minds, and they have souls, as well as just hearts. And they’ve got ambition, and they’ve got talent, as well as beauty, and I’m so sick of people saying that love is just all a woman is fit for. I’m so sick of it!”

Why? Because, simply put, Jo March is the feminist hero that we need in 2020. She’s NOT HERE for any type of mansplaining nonsense!!! Yessss, Little Women couldn’t be more relevant right now!! Especially in light of things like #MeToo and women speaking up and speaking out, Little Women is shaping up to be a powerful film — far more deeper and important than the picturesque scenery and cinematography that we were treated to in the roughly two-minute trailer. She’s fierce and tough and, dare I say it, ready to unapologetically take on the patriarchy.

Greta Gerwig“Jo is a rebel, but she’s also loving and loved,” says Monica Rico, assistant professor in women’s and gender history at Wisconsin’s Lawrence University. “She shows that you can be yourself and still be accepted by those who know you best, even if you don’t fit in with social expectations.”

Indeed, as a writer, I’ve always admired Jo; in a profession where women sometimes aren’t taken seriously — this was especially true during Jo’s time — women writers are having to fight harder than men for the same jobs and accolades. But Jo dreamed of becoming a writer and wouldn’t let anything get in her way – not even a boy’s advances.

In the end, Greta Gerwig being shut out of the Best Director category shows us all how little progress we’ve made when it comes to equality and how far we still need to go. So we’ll celebrate powerful women as long as they’re just characters on film and not in real life?? Does it send the message that strong women are OK as long as they’re on film and not in real life? That’s not the message we need to be hearing in 2020. Or ever.

Sharpay Evans Deserved Better In High School Musical

Sharpay Evans Sharpay EvansVery Important Question: Did you hear about the online fervor last week over High School Musical troublemaker Sharpay Evans? Was she really the villain people made her out to be?

I’m here to tell you (along with a large portion of the internet) this hot take: Sharpay Evans deserved better. So much better.

Allow me to plead my oh-so-fabulous case!

We were introduced to the East High Wildcats in 2006 and our lives were never the same. The trilogy followed Troy, Gabriella, Sharpay and the rest of their precocious classmates living that teenage life — everything from putting on their school’s spring musicale to spending the summer working in a posh country club to, fittingly, walking across the stage on graduation day.

And while we all had our favorites (I see you Troy and Gabriella shippers out there!), you will never convince me that Sharpay Evans was ever anything other than truly BADASS. Over a decade later and she’s still the perfect tableau for our times. She’s confident. She knows what she wants. And she goes after it. If she were a man, we’d call it ambition, so why do we label Sharpay the villain? Even Ashley Tisdale, the actress who brought Sharpay to life, weighed in on her character’s redemption.

Sharpay EvansPlus…why do we have to compare her to Gabriella in the first place? The movies seem to set up this narrative that Gabriella is the perfect princess while Sharpay is the evil stepsister intent on ruining the lives of her classmates. No, full stop. Stop. Pitting. Women. Against. Each. Other. Sharpay worked incredibly hard, knew her worth and knew that she deserved to star in the musical. She tirelessly danced and sang and rehearsed; she perfected her craft and remained ever determined, yet Troy and Gabriella just waltzed in and scooped up the leads!

So I ask you: Where is the justice for Sharpay?? She was serious about her craft. She was dedicated. That’s something that should be celebrated, not painted with this brushstroke that she’s evil and manipulative.

Maybe the character of Sharpay really mirrors our times, where women aren’t supposed to be proud of ourselves (that’s seen as vain and narcissistic) or overly ambitious (that’s seen as domineering and cutthroat). Looks like this Disney musical is deeper than it looks…just like Sharpay Evans herself! After all, Evans just wanted to bop to the top! What’s wrong with a little ambition in life? She just needed a little fabulous. Is that so wrong?

Sharpay EvansWere you a fan of Sharpay when High School Musical came out? What’s your favorite song from the film, friends? Am I the only one who gets those toe-tapping gems stunk in my head for days? I mean, I’m not exactly complaining here… xoxo

P.S. Which side of Sharpay are you?