Dear Janelle: On Your 35th Birthday!

BirthdayDear Sister Bear on your birthday:

Sister Bear. That’s how your phone number is saved in my contacts and I smile every time I see it. I don’t know when we started calling each other that, but we’ve done it for as long as I can remember and it just fits us perfectly!! And today? Well, my SISTER BEAR is celebrating a birthday…

You know I’m going to fill this entire blog post with words and anecdotes about how awesome and wonderful you are and I hope you won’t be too embarrassed. The truth is, you don’t talk yourself up enough. My greatest wish is that you can be proud of yourself just for ONE DAY — for you to see yourself like the rest of the world sees you!

When I was lying in bed last night, I was thinking about what to write in this post and that’s when the creativity muse paid me a visit: Acrostic…remember those?? Naturally, it’s fitting because you have such a beautiful name, but also because there are so many things I admire about you.

So! Without further ado, I LOVE YOUR…

Journey — do you realize how fierce you are?? You’ve been through so much and you’ve survived and thrived. You are strong!!! Never, EVER forget that, OK??

Awesome mind — I love how you’re both artistic AND analytical, especially considering most people are either one or the other. You’ve got talents for both and that’s something to be proud of, if you ask me!!

Nurturing nature — you are the gentlest person I know, always showing people empathy and compassion. Can you try to show yourself the same compassion? You deserve it!

Energetic jogging — I’ve never seen anyone who runs as fast as the wind like you do!! You just zoom, zoom, zoom and I find that so inspiring!!

Laughter — there is nothing I love more than the sound of your jolly chuckles!! Like the times we watch a funny TV show (FYI, we still need to finish Baskets…) or you’re telling me about something funny you read. Those happy moments together are my favorite moments!

Loving — when I told my mom I was working on the “L” letter, she and I both immediately agreed that loving is the perfect way to describe you! You’re so kind and you make us feel loved every single day!! Thank you for that!

Exciting future — I know the future scares you sometimes, but have I’ve got a secret for you: Your future is SO BRIGHT. You’re already doing so many amazing things and I know you’re going to continue to take on this world, changing things for the better.

And through it all — all the future days we’ll share together — I’ll be standing (well, sitting…) right next to you and cheering you on.

BirthdayI’ve had this photo saved on my phone for a couple years now; I saw these words written on the sidewalk outside the library at NIU and when I saw it, I couldn’t help but feel like it was fate — you know, the kind we see all the time in Hallmark movies.

Why?

Because isn’t that what I’m telling you all the time?

YOU GOT THIS

You really do. You got this. Today, tomorrow and forever. Thank you for being who you are because who you are is beautiful and wonderful and magical and extraordinary and brave and — as you see, I could go on forever and ever and, well, EVER.

Happy, happy birthday!! I love you, Janelle… xoxo

P.S. More Janelle love: Her 24th, 25th, 26th, 27th, 28th, 29th, 30th, 32nd, 33rd and 34th birthdays.

Birthday Time: Almost 39 and Feeling Fine

birthday timeI’ve often said that time is irrelevant in quarantine. Days pass, then weeks pass and before you know it, months and months have gone by!! You finally look at the calendar and…it’s your birthday time!!

Yes, I know that I say this every single year, but this year, especially, I can’t BELIEVE it’s my birthday again. Wasn’t it just yesterday when I turned the big 38…? Well, we all know what number comes after 38, don’t we??

YIKES…

And double YIKES…

It’s sort of weird to think that I’ll be celebrating the last birthday of my 30s (on Tuesday, to be exact…) while in quarantine. I mean, this reality that we’re living in 2020 was never on my life Bingo card and I’m pretty sure it wasn’t on yours either. In fact, I doubt it was on anyone’s card. We never thought we’d be here, but we are. At times, the future can seem like such a scary, daunting prospect — full of unknowns and question marks and so many uncertainties. Where will we be in six months? In one year?

I don’t know about you, but I’ve been feeling pretty overwhelmed recently — well, at least for the last five months. So maybe that’s why I’ve been looking at lots of old family photos lately. Not just to remember my childhood, but to remember a time when the world wasn’t imploding on itself every day, you know?

birthday timeSo what a coincidence that I should find this photo just in time for, well, my birthday time!!! I couldn’t have been more than three years old and it was the height of The Smurfs craze in the ‘80s. I was, umm, just a wee bit obsessed with them too, as evidenced by my birthday present that year: a Smurfs stuffed animal. Naturally, I was partial to Smurfette since she was THE MOST badass one, obviously!!

And speaking of birthday time, I’d like to bring something else VERY important to your attention. I was quite shocked about this, if you must know! I recently Googled myself (no, that is not a euphemism) and this was one of the related searches. Y’all, I feel called out!! How old does the internets think I am…??

Wait, don’t answer that because you all know now, obviously! My big secret is out…call the tabloids with the scoop!! Yours Truly is swiftly becoming an old lady. No shame, though. We all need to change the way we view aging, don’t you think?

birthday timeOoooh, that little old bugaboo called getting older. Well, that is surely a topic for another time and another blog post!! In the meantime, I hope you all have a lovely rest of your weekend and a lovely week ahead. I’ll be relaxing during my classic Birthday Week and will be back to regular posting on Wednesday, August 12th, so expect some tales — and new bylines to share!! Love you all lots and lots… xoxo

P.S. Check out my Birthday Time of yore: 2009, 2010, 2011, 2012, 2013, 2014, 2015, 2016, 2017, 2018 and 2019.

Ms. Bear’s Birthday Reflections: What? I’m 64…?!?

birthday reflectionsWhen I was just 11, the Beatles iconic song “When I’m Sixty-Four” came out. I remember the peppy beat and fun lyrics, all about old people, or so I thought! Sixty-four seemed ancient to me and I could never imagine being that age myself. Fast forward to yesterday, January 12, 2020. And….here I am, 64 years old! Wow! Here are some birthday reflections…

Now, of course, 64 seems young to me — not old at all. The real surprising thing is that Paul McCartney was only 16 when he wrote this song. He had pretty good insight about aging at such a tender age. There’s some good news and some bad news in this song for me.

For the good news, I can really relate to the first two lines of this song…

When I get older losing my hair

Many years from now

I still have all my hair! I don’t think I’ve lost nary a hair off my head. In fact, when I get my hair cut, the beautician always tells me that even though I have thin hair, I do have a lot of it.

Another positive is that as I have gotten older, I have a new appreciation for the little things, just like this verse…

Doing the garden, digging the weeds

Who could ask for more?

Of course, I’m not a gardener by any means, but I sure can relate to appreciating the little things in life. Everyone should focus on that as they go about their day. The little things can add up to the best memories. I may not grow a bumper crop of cherry tomatoes every summer, but the feeling I have when I pick them and eat them when they are warm from the sun is one of the highlights of summertime.

If I’d been out till quarter to three

Would you lock the door?

One more piece of good news…I NEVER stay out until a quarter to 3, so nothing to worry about there! And, I know if I did come home then that I am lucky I have my girls who would let me in, but not without a bit of a lecture…I can’t go out anywhere without them telling me not to drink when I am driving (which I wouldn’t do anyway! LOL).

birthday reflectionsBut, there are parts of this song that make me wistful, things that I never imagined would apply to me. No one gets married and thinks they will lose their partner when they are in their 40s. I had two young girls depending on me, and I was terrified of how we would go on.

And there’s this part…

You’ll be older too

And if you say the word

I could stay with you

This part gets me every time because Brian did not stay with us. I know he would have if he could have. We always talked about growing old together. But, I also know that he knew that I could handle this, and I did!

And, this part brought a little tear to my eye…

Every summer we can rent a cottage

In the Isle of Wight, if it’s not too dear

We shall scrimp and save

You see, we had planned on retiring to Gulf Shores, Alabama, where Brian would run a little fix-it shop and I would spend all my retirement on the beach and doing his paperwork for him.

Anyway, this song really resonated with me this year, being 64 and all. It’s been running through my head all day. It also made me happy in viewing my life now and I’m proud of myself, because, who will still need me, who will still feed me, when I’m 64? My girls, my family, my friends and my cats will all need me and I will still feed myself, at 64 and beyond!

Thanks so much for these birthday reflections, Ms. Bear!!!

In Praise of Ms. Bear’s Childlike Wonder on Her 64th Birthday

64th birthdayAs you can tell from the title of this post, it’s someone’s special day today!! Not just someone special — someone VERY special. In fact, not just someone very special — someone who is the best person in the whole universe!! Yes, today is Ms. Bear’s 64th birthday!!!

I’ve been thinking long and hard about what I wanted to say in this special birthday post. I mean, I could literally go on and on about how wonderful my mom is; I’m forever in awe of her wit and her charm and her kindness and her strength and her love for the people around her.

And then I look at photos like the ones above. Photos from her childhood, which, I’m sure to her, feel like a lifetime ago. We grow up and over time, that lens of childlike wonder through which we viewed the world tends to fade, doesn’t it? We experience life and the bad times seem to harden us, wrapping us up in a big blanket of bitterness. Sometimes, it even feels like we’re powerless in stopping that bitterness.

I know what you’re thinking: “Wasn’t this supposed to be an UPLIFTING birthday tribute??”

Oh, it is. Just keep reading and, as Ms. Bear always says, you’ll see.

So back to that overwhelming bitterness we can’t seem to escape. I don’t know how my mom did it, but guess what?? She’s one of those people who has managed to escape it!! From 4 to 64, she’s held on to her childlike wonder. That’s six decades.

She doesn’t look at the world with bitterness or negativity, even when things are at their absolute worst. She finds the best in everything and sees the best in everyone. She sees the world as a magical place full of possibilities. And, frankly, she just enjoys the heck out of life!

64th birthdayWe talk a lot about the importance of change and “growing up,” how it’s inevitable and how it’s a good thing. But I think there’s something just as important to be said about holding tightly to the same sense of wonder that you discovered in childhood and using it to discover the wonders of life as an adult. At the very least, how boring would it be otherwise?? Certainly, it would make for a very boring and bitter existence.

In the end, isn’t that really the ultimate glow-up?? Because there’s nothing more beautiful or inspiring than refusing to become jaded. I’m thankful every day that my mom pushes me to see the magic in this world instead of being bogged down by its cruelness.

Happy 64th birthday, Ms. Bear!! Thank you for filling all our lives with joy and love every day. And thank you for teaching us how to see the wonder in this world. I love you soooooooo much!!! You are magical and I’m so thankful for the light you shine on the world… xoxo

P.S. More Ms. Bear birthdays: 2010, 2011, 2012, 2013, 2014, 2015, 2016, 2017, 2018 and 2019.

So About What I Said Turns 11 Today. I Did a Blog Anniversary Shoot.

Blog Anniversary Shoot Blog Anniversary ShootYes, I know that I’m going to sound like a broken record yet again, but come on…ELEVEN YEARS?? How has it been that long?? How has So About What I Said existed on the internet for more than a decade?? I’m stunned, shocked and befuddled. And yet, more than anything, I want to celebrate this milestone!! That’s where this blog anniversary shoot comes in, friends…

My blog turns 11 today so I give you this…BLOG ANNIVERSARY SHOOT

People have photo shoots for weddings, engagements, births. Some even have them for their pets. I may not be married or have kids, but that doesn’t make my own milestone any less important, you know? Women are discouraged from tooting our own horn and being proud of our accomplishments, but I intend to CELEBRATE. I’ve worked hard for these 11 years and I’ve earned this pride and joy.

I love what Twitter user Danica said in this thread, which really gets to the core of how society views and treats women and what they think women’s sole role and purpose is…

I wish people were as excited and supportive about women’s career milestones, personal development, and travel journeys as they were about pregnancies and engagements.

Marraige [sic Marriage] and pregnancy are beautiful life events that should absolutely be celebrated, but I promise you, a woman’s sole purpose is not to be someone’s life partner and/or mother.

Stop reducing women to their marital or parental status. It’s belittling & insulting.

And when you think about it, my blog and I have had a relationship. A very meaningful one, I might add. My blog was there for me as I continued to grieve my father. My blog was their for me when I was severely depressed and could hardly write anything, let alone blog consistently. And my blog was there for me during the fun times — through all my pop culture rants and fashion obsessions and love–struck confusions!

Blog Anniversary ShootThis blog? It listened and never judged. It just let me be, well, me. And yes, I know I’m giving my blog human characteristics. I know it’s not real in the living sense. But so much of my life — my real, messy, complicated life — is in those 6,300+ posts, and that means a great deal to me.

As I wrote earlier this year in my essay for The Writer about being a blogger…

I wasn’t just carving out a career, was I? I mean, I may have started out with that goal in mind, but with each passing year, I could see my blog becoming about so much more than just my profession. It was a chronicle of the person I was and, in turn, the person I was becoming. Like peeling back each layer of an onion, I revealed a little more of myself each time I hit “publish.” It was sort of like getting to know myself all over again, seeing my life and my story unfold with each new post.

Indeed, it’s been quite the journey — or, as I’ve been saying lately “that was a time!” Thank you SO much for sticking with me these last 11 years, friends!! Some of you have been around since the beginning and that will never not blow my mind.

I’m so grateful to know you all and excited for what’s to come in year 12. This ride has been aces and I don’t intend to get off any time soon! Will you come with me?? xoxo

P.S. Big thanks to my wonderful Ms. Bear for taking the photos! Like a true businesswoman, she wanted a photo credit. I’ve taught her well.