Yes, I’m 38 and a Shawn Mendes Fangirl

Shawn MendesOh, hi. I have something very important and personal to share today. It’s a deep secret that I haven’t really shared with the rest of the world. I am a Shawn Mendes fangirl.

Whew! Did I really just say (err, type) that??

All the way back in February, I shared my confession on Twitter, as everyone does these days: “I’d just like to publicly thank Shawn Mendes for officially giving me my first Mrs. Robinson moment…”

Ahh, finally, my deepest secret was out there. Interestingly, I felt a weight lift from my shoulder the second I hit ‘post.’ After all, I’ve tried to deny my feelings, but as REO Speedwagon once said, “I can’t fight this feeling anymore.” And I can’t. There’s really no point because this crooner has my heart. Yes, I know he has no idea who I am (and my mom will probably think this post is creepy and weird), but coming clean about my feelings means that I no longer had to hide in the shadows of fandom. It meant that I could fully be myself: An older Millennial who loves Shawn Mendes.

Shawn MendesI followed that tweefession (confessional tweet) with my thoughts on his music to his relationship with Camila Cabello until less than a month later, when I made things social media official…

“In related news, I’m officially in love with Shawn Mendes!!!!” I joyfully proclaimed. I think the three red heart emojis really drove my point home.

And, yes, it was joyful, indeed. I’m sure there are lots of others out there who are just like me, so I’m here to tell you: There is no shame in this so-called guilty pleasure. There’s no shame in listening to “If I Can’t Have You” and then daydreaming about Shawn spending his nights reading texts from you.

And, in a related announcement: After years of dreaming about being serenaded Lloyd Dobler-style to “In Your Eyes,” the dream has changed. I now want to be serenaded to this Shawn Mendes lyric: “I want all of you, all the strings attached.”

One warning, though: I have A LOT of strings…

Shawn MendesSo, go forth, friends, and don’t feel bad about all your guilty pleasures!! There’s an incredible sense of power and freedom in simply leaning into something that you totally love and that makes you ridiculously happy. Because let’s face it, the world is not the happiest place right now! We can use all the adorable, addictive, toe-tapping music we can get, right?

Are you a Shawn Mendes fan? Do you have a favorite song of his? Don’t even get me started on he and Camila’s steamy performance at this year’s VMAs. I. Can’t. Even. Sigh… xoxo

Sharpay Evans Deserved Better In High School Musical

Sharpay Evans Sharpay EvansVery Important Question: Did you hear about the online fervor last week over High School Musical troublemaker Sharpay Evans? Was she really the villain people made her out to be?

I’m here to tell you (along with a large portion of the internet) this hot take: Sharpay Evans deserved better. So much better.

Allow me to plead my oh-so-fabulous case!

We were introduced to the East High Wildcats in 2006 and our lives were never the same. The trilogy followed Troy, Gabriella, Sharpay and the rest of their precocious classmates living that teenage life — everything from putting on their school’s spring musicale to spending the summer working in a posh country club to, fittingly, walking across the stage on graduation day.

And while we all had our favorites (I see you Troy and Gabriella shippers out there!), you will never convince me that Sharpay Evans was ever anything other than truly BADASS. Over a decade later and she’s still the perfect tableau for our times. She’s confident. She knows what she wants. And she goes after it. If she were a man, we’d call it ambition, so why do we label Sharpay the villain? Even Ashley Tisdale, the actress who brought Sharpay to life, weighed in on her character’s redemption.

Sharpay EvansPlus…why do we have to compare her to Gabriella in the first place? The movies seem to set up this narrative that Gabriella is the perfect princess while Sharpay is the evil stepsister intent on ruining the lives of her classmates. No, full stop. Stop. Pitting. Women. Against. Each. Other. Sharpay worked incredibly hard, knew her worth and knew that she deserved to star in the musical. She tirelessly danced and sang and rehearsed; she perfected her craft and remained ever determined, yet Troy and Gabriella just waltzed in and scooped up the leads!

So I ask you: Where is the justice for Sharpay?? She was serious about her craft. She was dedicated. That’s something that should be celebrated, not painted with this brushstroke that she’s evil and manipulative.

Maybe the character of Sharpay really mirrors our times, where women aren’t supposed to be proud of ourselves (that’s seen as vain and narcissistic) or overly ambitious (that’s seen as domineering and cutthroat). Looks like this Disney musical is deeper than it looks…just like Sharpay Evans herself! After all, Evans just wanted to bop to the top! What’s wrong with a little ambition in life? She just needed a little fabulous. Is that so wrong?

Sharpay EvansWere you a fan of Sharpay when High School Musical came out? What’s your favorite song from the film, friends? Am I the only one who gets those toe-tapping gems stunk in my head for days? I mean, I’m not exactly complaining here… xoxo

P.S. Which side of Sharpay are you?

Taylor Swift Re-Recording Her Albums Sends a Powerful Message

Taylor SwiftTaylor Swift taking back her power by re-recording her albums is my 2019 mood.

That was my first thought when I heard the news that Taylor Swift is planning to re-record her first five albums. The decision comes after the singer’s music catalog was bought by Scooter Braun in a $300 million deal between his Ithaca Holdings and Big Machine Label Group. Following the sale of her music, Swift took to her Tumblr and shared these powerful words…

“I learned about Scooter Braun’s purchase of my masters as it was announced to the world. All I could think about was the incessant, manipulative bullying I’ve received at his hands for years…Any time Scott Borchetta has heard the words ‘Scooter Braun’ escape my lips, it was when I was either crying or trying not to. He knew what he was doing; they both did. Controlling a woman who didn’t want to be associated with them. In perpetuity. That means forever.”

Like so many women, I was disgusted by the sale of her music catalog, especially in light of the fact that Braun has a history of bullying and manipulating the “Lover” singer-songwriter. Yes, artists have their work bought and sold all the time. That’s nothing new. But this sale didn’t feel like a business decision at all; it felt incredibly vindictive.

Taylor SwiftIt was yet another reminder that men in 2019 still think they can control women — everything from our bodies to our livelihoods. We’ve seen men using and abusing their power over and over. They use it as a way to undermine women, as a way to assert their dominance and make women feel “less than.”

That’s why Swift’s decision to re-record her music made me want to cheer “YES.” Why? Because it wasn’t just about her being able to own a version of her songs again or make money off her early work. This was about making a statement about women and power. It’s a statement that I heard loud and clear too: Women aren’t going to be controlled. What happened to Taylor happens to women every day; women speaking out and standing up for themselves and men trying to exert power and control. I’ll have none of it. None. Of. It.

Taylor SwiftPlus, who can forget Justin Bieber’s response? The singer posted a really mansplaining, non-apology apology Instagram post in which he basically scolded her for writing her blog post about the situation. He questioned her, insulted her…and then ended with “but we love you!” NO. What’s up with men who gaslight women? Why are men constantly trying to silence women?

The same thing happened to me this summer when a man tried to make me “rethink” a blog post — coincidentally, it was this post. What happened to Taylor happens to women every day; women speaking out and standing up for themselves and men trying to exert power and control. I’ll have none of it. None. Of. It.

Writer Danielle Campoamor summed it up perfectly in her recent CNN Opinion op-ed…

“As women, we’re to blame. We’re too aggressive. We just want attention. We don’t love ourselves enough. We’re manipulative. We’re not his type. We’re too much. We’re dramatic. We’re feuding.

And, like Swift, far too many of us are watching what we’ve worked so hard for fall into the hands of men who seek to control us, whether it be via our legacies, our reputations, our bodies, or our success.”

Yes, indeed. Women are taking back their own power and I’m here for it. All. Of. It. Are you with me, friends? What are your thoughts on Taylor Swift taking back her power?? I’d love to hear them!! xoxo

Why Shawn Mendes and Camila Cabello Are the Couple We Need Right Now

Camila Cabello Camila Cabello Camila CabelloIt’s been a summer full of not-so-happy news (hi, Trump), which has left so many of us feeling like the world is about to crumble. But there’s been one shining glimmer of hope getting me through and their names are Shawn Mendes and Camila Cabello.

Yes, this is the couple the world needs now!! And, yes, I’m such a giddy teenager at the possibility that these two crazy kids might actually be a couple!! I ship these two so hard, as the young people say!

First, we need to talk about their Señorita music video for a hot minute. Emphasis on the hot, obviously, because my glasses kept fogging up from all that steam!!! The passion! The fire! The intensity! I dare you to watch that video and not almost have a heart attack.

It was all too much to handle.

If I wasn’t convinced by their passionate on-screen chemistry, then their steamy duet of the tune during the MTV Video Music Awards certainly put me over the edge!! It was that same passion and fire and intensity come to life on the stage, in real time, only magnified and amped up one million billion degrees! Honestly, it was love on steroids and I’m so here for that, obviously! Am I the only one who thinks that Shawn and Camila just told the world “Yes, we’re dating” on the VMAs stage??

Trust me, I’m as shocked as you are about my unexpected fascination with pop’s new It couple. I came of age in the late ‘90s when two doe-eyed teens named Britney and Justin were pop’s reigning power couple; the world followed their every move, even down to those classic matching denim outfits! We were all transfixed watching young love blossom right before our very eyes and I’m pretty sure I wasn’t the only one who shed a tear when they called it quits.

So maybe there’s a hint of nostalgia here when it comes to Shawn and Camila? I may be 38, but these two are still #RelationshipGoals!! They give me hope that love is possible — that it can be fun and exciting and real. Yes, I said real because unlike the cynical people of the world, I refuse to believe that theirs is some manufactured PR relationship just to boost record sales. You will never be able to convince me that their love is anything but pure and sweet and REAL.

And speaking of real, there’s one thing that’s bothered me as I’ve followed their relationship: I’m seeing so many people saying “Shawn Mendes can’t possibly be in a relationship with Camila Cabello because he’s gay.” As if you can’t be both. FYI, it’s 2019…why are we still saying things like this?? It doesn’t have to be one or the other! Sexuality can be fluid. Relationships aren’t black or white and they can exist in every color of the rainbow. You love who you love.

Camila Cabello Indeed, I’m rooting for Shawn and Camila to be the next great love story for the ages and I will sit here and firmly wave my Team Shawmila flag until the end of time! Maybe the love gods are listening and will hear my plea: The world is a mess and we could really use some happiness in the form of Shawn Mendes and Camila Cabello together.

What’s your verdict, friends? Are you a fan of these two? I mean, you can’t deny how deliciously catchy their songs are, can you? Plus, even the iconic Vogue is weighing in on the are-they-or-aren’t-they debate, asking the very important question: “Are Shawn Mendes and Camila Cabello the Couple of Summer?” We may never know, but at the very least, watching their relationship unfold has made this old Millennial very, very, very happy! xoxo

My Essay on The Fix: “Music and Emotion: How Songs Help Us Grieve and Heal”

MusicA couple months ago, I tweeted about a piece I was working on for The Fix. The finished piece went live!! I explored the intersection of grief and music. There are certain songs and albums that remind me of my father, both happy and sad memories.

As I’ve said before, music is quite a powerful medium. Music connects us to those we’ve lost and helps heal us. It’s all there in the melodies and lyrics. Thank you to everyone who shared their own song stories with me for this piece — you’ve shared a piece of yourself, a piece of your grief, a piece of the person you lost, and that is no small feat.

Here’s an excerpt of the piece, in which I write about how emotional certain songs from the ’60s and ’70s can be for me, no matter how many times I hear them to this day…

There are the songs that evoke the memories of my childhood, like the oldies from the ‘60s and ‘70s that we listened to on family car trips. I can’t listen to Simon & Garfunkel or Gordon Lightfoot without memories flooding back –like when my father introduced my sister and me to his record collection. We played those records for hours until we had all the words memorized.

Then there are also the songs that remind me of the dark days and months just after he died. A month before his death, I bought Norah Jones’ debut album on a whim and it sort of became the soundtrack of his death. My mother and I listened to it constantly, so every time I hear “Come Away with Me” I’m immediately transported back to that time. Suddenly I’m that scared, confused 21-year-old who can’t believe she’ll never see her father again.

These songs make me so sad, and yet I can’t stop listening. It’s almost like I’m drawn to the pain that those songs evoke, as if listening to them will somehow help me continue to process my grief.

MusicYou can read the full piece here and I’d love to hear your thoughts. Feel free to email me anytime at mellow1422@aol.com and let’s chat! And of course, feel free to share my essay on Facebook, Twitter or even your local refrigerator. If you share on Twitter, be sure to tag me @melissablake so we can connect! I can’t wait to hear from you! Love you all… xoxo