music Archives - So About What I Said

Wednesday, September 11, 2019

Taylor Swift Re-Recording Her Albums Sends a Powerful Message

Taylor Swift taking back her power by re-recording her albums is my 2019 mood.

That was my first thought when I heard the news that Taylor Swift is planning to re-record her first five albums. The decision comes after the singer’s music catalog was bought by Scooter Braun in a $300 million deal between his Ithaca Holdings and Big Machine Label Group. Following the sale of her music, Swift took to her Tumblr and shared these powerful words…

“I learned about Scooter Braun’s purchase of my masters as it was announced to the world. All I could think about was the incessant, manipulative bullying I’ve received at his hands for years…Any time Scott Borchetta has heard the words ‘Scooter Braun’ escape my lips, it was when I was either crying or trying not to. He knew what he was doing; they both did. Controlling a woman who didn’t want to be associated with them. In perpetuity. That means forever.”

Like so many women, I was disgusted by the sale of her music catalog, especially in light of the fact that Braun has a history of bullying and manipulating the “Lover” singer-songwriter. Yes, artists have their work bought and sold all the time. That’s nothing new. But this sale didn’t feel like a business decision at all; it felt incredibly vindictive.

It was yet another reminder that men in 2019 still think they can control women — everything from our bodies to our livelihoods. We’ve seen men using and abusing their power over and over. They use it as a way to undermine women, as a way to assert their dominance and make women feel “less than.”

That’s why Swift’s decision to re-record her music made me want to cheer “YES.” Why? Because it wasn’t just about her being able to own a version of her songs again or make money off her early work. This was about making a statement about women and power. It’s a statement that I heard loud and clear too: Women aren’t going to be controlled. What happened to Taylor happens to women every day; women speaking out and standing up for themselves and men trying to exert power and control. I’ll have none of it. None. Of. It.

Plus, who can forget Justin Bieber’s response? The singer posted a really mansplaining, non-apology apology Instagram post in which he basically scolded her for writing her blog post about the situation. He questioned her, insulted her…and then ended with “but we love you!” NO. What’s up with men who gaslight women? Why are men constantly trying to silence women?

The same thing happened to me this summer when a man tried to make me “rethink” a blog post — coincidentally, it was this post. What happened to Taylor happens to women every day; women speaking out and standing up for themselves and men trying to exert power and control. I’ll have none of it. None. Of. It.

Writer Danielle Campoamor summed it up perfectly in her recent CNN Opinion op-ed…

“As women, we’re to blame. We’re too aggressive. We just want attention. We don’t love ourselves enough. We’re manipulative. We’re not his type. We’re too much. We’re dramatic. We’re feuding.
And, like Swift, far too many of us are watching what we’ve worked so hard for fall into the hands of men who seek to control us, whether it be via our legacies, our reputations, our bodies, or our success.”

Yes, indeed. Women are taking back their own power and I’m here for it. All. Of. It. Are you with me, friends? What are your thoughts on Taylor Swift taking back her power?? I’d love to hear them!! xoxo

Wednesday, September 4, 2019

Why Shawn Mendes and Camila Cabello Are the Couple We Need Right Now

It’s been a summer full of not-so-happy news (hi, Trump), which has left so many of us feeling like the world is about to crumble. But there’s been one shining glimmer of hope getting me through and their names are Shawn Mendes and Camila Cabello.

Yes, this is the couple the world needs now!! And, yes, I’m such a giddy teenager at the possibility that these two crazy kids might actually be a couple!! I ship these two so hard, as the young people say!

First, we need to talk about their Señorita music video for a hot minute. Emphasis on the hot, obviously, because my glasses kept fogging up from all that steam!!! The passion! The fire! The intensity! I dare you to watch that video and not almost have a heart attack.

It was all too much to handle.

If I wasn’t convinced by their passionate on-screen chemistry, then their steamy duet of the tune during the MTV Video Music Awards certainly put me over the edge!! It was that same passion and fire and intensity come to life on the stage, in real time, only magnified and amped up one million billion degrees! Honestly, it was love on steroids and I’m so here for that, obviously! Am I the only one who thinks that Shawn and Camila just told the world “Yes, we’re dating” on the VMAs stage??

Trust me, I’m as shocked as you are about my unexpected fascination with pop’s new It couple. I came of age in the late ‘90s when two doe-eyed teens named Britney and Justin were pop’s reigning power couple; the world followed their every move, even down to those classic matching denim outfits! We were all transfixed watching young love blossom right before our very eyes and I’m pretty sure I wasn’t the only one who shed a tear when they called it quits.

So maybe there’s a hint of nostalgia here when it comes to Shawn and Camila? I may be 38, but these two are still #RelationshipGoals!! They give me hope that love is possible — that it can be fun and exciting and real. Yes, I said real because unlike the cynical people of the world, I refuse to believe that theirs is some manufactured PR relationship just to boost record sales. You will never be able to convince me that their love is anything but pure and sweet and REAL.

And speaking of real, there’s one thing that’s bothered me as I’ve followed their relationship: I’m seeing so many people saying “Shawn Mendes can’t possibly be in a relationship with Camila Cabello because he’s gay.” As if you can’t be both. FYI, it’s 2019…why are we still saying things like this?? It doesn’t have to be one or the other! Sexuality can be fluid. Relationships aren’t black or white and they can exist in every color of the rainbow. You love who you love.

Indeed, I’m rooting for Shawn and Camila to be the next great love story for the ages and I will sit here and firmly wave my Team Shawmila flag until the end of time! Maybe the love gods are listening and will hear my plea: The world is a mess and we could really use some happiness in the form of Shawn Mendes and Camila Cabello together.

What’s your verdict, friends? Are you a fan of these two? I mean, you can’t deny how deliciously catchy their songs are, can you? Plus, even the iconic Vogue is weighing in on the are-they-or-aren’t-they debate, asking the very important question: “Are Shawn Mendes and Camila Cabello the Couple of Summer?” We may never know, but at the very least, watching their relationship unfold has made this old Millennial very, very, very happy! xoxo

Thursday, July 25, 2019

My Essay on The Fix: “Music and Emotion: How Songs Help Us Grieve and Heal”

A couple months ago, I tweeted about a piece I was working on for The Fix. The finished piece went live!! I explored the intersection of grief and music. There are certain songs and albums that remind me of my father, both happy and sad memories.

As I’ve said before, music is quite a powerful medium. Music connects us to those we’ve lost and helps heal us. It’s all there in the melodies and lyrics. Thank you to everyone who shared their own song stories with me for this piece — you’ve shared a piece of yourself, a piece of your grief, a piece of the person you lost, and that is no small feat.

Here’s an excerpt of the piece, in which I write about how emotional certain songs from the ’60s and ’70s can be for me, no matter how many times I hear them to this day…

There are the songs that evoke the memories of my childhood, like the oldies from the ‘60s and ‘70s that we listened to on family car trips. I can’t listen to Simon & Garfunkel or Gordon Lightfoot without memories flooding back –like when my father introduced my sister and me to his record collection. We played those records for hours until we had all the words memorized.
Then there are also the songs that remind me of the dark days and months just after he died. A month before his death, I bought Norah Jones’ debut album on a whim and it sort of became the soundtrack of his death. My mother and I listened to it constantly, so every time I hear “Come Away with Me” I’m immediately transported back to that time. Suddenly I’m that scared, confused 21-year-old who can’t believe she’ll never see her father again.
These songs make me so sad, and yet I can’t stop listening. It’s almost like I’m drawn to the pain that those songs evoke, as if listening to them will somehow help me continue to process my grief.

You can read the full piece here and I’d love to hear your thoughts. Feel free to email me anytime at mellow1422@aol.com and let’s chat! And of course, feel free to share my essay on Facebook, Twitter or even your local refrigerator. If you share on Twitter, be sure to tag me @melissablake so we can connect! I can’t wait to hear from you! Love you all… xoxo

Thursday, June 20, 2019

Why Taylor Swift’s “You Need to Calm Down” Is More Opportunist Than Activist

Let it never be said that Taylor Swift doesn’t know how to market herself. The pop songstress has spent more than a decade in the spotlight honing and crafting her message, but, ironically, it’s her latest music video for “You Need to Calm Down” that could have used a lot less of Swift marketing herself.

On the surface, the video is a colorful bop taking aim at homophobia and haters, with a name-drop shout-out to GLAAD, a revolving door of celeb cameos and a plea at the end to support the Equality Act, which would prohibit discrimination based on sex, sexual orientation, and gender identity; it would provide civil rights protections in areas such as employment, housing, credit, education, public spaces and services, federally funded programs, and jury service.

Swift’s petition in support of the Equality Act has reached more than 350,000 signatures, and while it’s encouraging to see such support for civil rights, the singer’s new video just seems to hit all the wrong notes. Both the song and accompanying music video feel incredibly off-key and tone deaf. While the pop star’s intentions were for the release to be this huge LGBTQ anthem, the execution delivers a muddled mix that felt more opportunist than genuine activist — one that more often felt insulting and harmful to the very community she seeks to help.

Full disclosure: I say this as a former Swiftie, the name used to describe Swift’s legion of fans. There was a time when I’d listen to her albums on repeat and spend hours decoding her autobiographical lyrics; I appreciated and applauded her authenticity. But that authenticity never seemed to extend beyond her music. Over the years, unlike other musicians, Swift remained tight-lipped when it came to social issues. Only last year did she dip her toes in the political waters for the first time by breaking her silence during election season — it was a move that was met with criticism by some, who said it was too little, too late. Last fall, I wrote this blog post about her not speaking out when it came to political issues.

While Swift’s political silence was bad enough, it’s her statement with “You Need to Calm Down” that feels incredibly misguided and damaging. A Vulture headline asked the pointed question, “Where Is Taylor Swift Going With This?” and, well, that’s exactly what I’ve been wondering myself. Don’t get me wrong: We desperately need allies and activists. We need people like Swift using their platform to raise awareness and advocate for equal rights for LGBTQ people.

But for all of Swift’s desires to be that ally, the video shows us that Swift still has a lot to learn. For one, she seems to conflate her experience with criticism aimed at her as a celebrity and public figure with the long history of very real systematic hate, discrimination and violence that happens daily against the LGBTQ community. I get it. No one likes to be the subject of criticism — we all know I’ve been there many times. But the two are not the same and they never will be. It’s insulting and disrespectful to equate the two.

There’s also an incredibly danger in Swift centering herself in the video, like when she and longtime rival Katy Perry donned burger and fries costumes and hugged it out as a way to tell us they’ve put their feud behind them. All that seemed to just detract from the more important messages of the video. And, her seemingly using an entire community of people as a prop or a gimmick screams cultural appropriation at its finest; there’s advocating for a marginalized group and then there’s profiting off a marginalized group, and Swift’s video felt very much like the latter.

While I’m glad to see Swift (finally!) taking a stand, the optics of “You Need to Calm Down” wasn’t the way to go about it. As Vox’s Rebecca Jennings wrote…

These are questions that relate to the value of allyship in general — what purpose does it serve, exactly, for a pop star who has built a career on breathlessly romanticizing straight relationships to take on the mantle of gay rights? This isn’t so much about artists having to “stay in their lane” but about the fact that maybe there is a better way for Swift to support social causes instead of putting herself in the center of them.

It’s been 13 years since her first single — from singing about real-life experiences with heartfelt lyrics to co-opting cultures? I just can’t get behind this new Taylor Swift. She needs to check her privilege and her platform. In the end, I can’t help but notice the irony of the song title itself.

You need to calm down…

Maybe Taylor Swift should take her own advice.

What are your thoughts on the song and video, friends? Have you been a fan of Swift through the years? Do you think this new era of hers will create lasting change? Let’s chat… xoxo

Tuesday, May 28, 2019

My Essay on Ravishly: “Why It’s Powerful When Celebrities Like Britney Spears Talk About Mental Health”

May is Mental Health Awareness Month and the more we talk about mental illness, the more we start to break the stigma. I was honored to write this piece about how powerful it is when celebrities like Britney Spears are open about their own struggles…

It definitely makes us feel less alone, doesn’t it? We often think that celebrities are these larger-than-life figures who are immune to everything. We see the fame, the glitz and the glam and start to think that their life is perfect. But, to quote famed magazine Us Weekly, stars really are just like us! They have their own struggles, and, sadly, all the money in the world can’t protect you from things like mental illness.

Here’s an excerpt of the piece, in which I recall, with exceptional clarity, the exact moment that I discovered the greatness of Britney Spears and became a super huge fan…

Instead, the pop star chose to be open about the bad times as well as the good, and in doing so, she further found her voice. She also helped fans find their own voices. That sort of candidness from a celebrity is both powerful and empowering, especially in a society where there are still so many misconceptions and misunderstandings about mental illness.
Even in 2019, we still live in a world where…people who struggle with mental health are seen as “weak” or looked down on when they can’t “simply get over it.” That sort of shame can be crushing and can make people feel like they need to be silent.
While she’s a world-famous icon, Britney’s willingness to be open and honest shows that, above all, she’s human. That vulnerability is just as fierce and refreshing as her music. And it will never go out of style.