Four Ways You Can Support Disabled People

Disabled PeopleHappy International Day of Persons with Disabilities!! Yes, I said happy because we need to be celebrating and supporting the disability community EVERY DAY. The day was officially designated by the United Nations in 1992 as a way to highlight the lives of disabled people. Here are four ways you can do that…

LISTEN TO DISABLED PEOPLE

RESPECT DISABLED PEOPLE

TREAT DISABLED PEOPLE WITH DIGNITY

AMPLIFY DISABLED VOICES

PSA about using the term ‘differently abled’: Please, just don’t. Honestly, as a disabled person, I cringe every time I hear those two words. Saying ‘differently abled’ is condescending. I hate how people dance around the word disabled and think they’re doing us a service by using those euphemisms. It’s insulting and patronizing. Say it with me…

DISABLED ♿️ IS ♿️ NOT ♿️ A ♿️ BAD ♿️ WORD

Plus, you know what I’ve noticed lately, especially when it comes to how the media covers disabilities? People are surprised to find a disabled person who is considered conventionally attractive. Of course, it’s never said outright, but there’s this underlying sense of shock because attractive disabled people? They’re assumed to be the rare unicorn. Like, whoooa…those people exist? The notion that disability = ugly is so ingrained in our culture and it’s one I absolutely HATE. It’s a stereotype I was trying to change with my viral tweet — or at least get people to start thinking about. It’s like when people say “Oh, wow! You’re really attractive for being disabled.” That’s not a compliment — it’s actually incredibly insulting and ableist.

Disabled PeopleI snapped this photo on the bus recently and I love it because it’s such a good representation of so many things at once — disabilities, accessibility, independence. For people like myself, going shopping or going to work isn’t always as easy as just hopping in the car. I’m so grateful that my town has these accessible buses!! Here’s to independence on my own terms and living a full, fun, fabulous life as a disabled person!! xoxo

P.S. Four more things I want you to know…

Two Months Later: Why Did My Viral Tweet Resonate So Much?

My Viral TweetLife is so strange and magical and unpredictable, isn’t it? I’ve been thinking a lot about my viral tweet lately and can’t help but wonder: What was it about that one tweet that resonated so much? Like, I just randomly posted that tweet on a Saturday night and I never expected any of this to happen AT ALL.

I wrote about the beauty aspect of it in this essay for HuffPost Personal, but I think there’s more to it than just that. Y’all know I’ve tweeted A LOT (42K+), so why that tweet? I’m so happy people have embraced and related to the tweet, but it really made me realize how wild and unexpected life can be!

I used to hate the unexpected, but you know what? If it wasn’t for this unexpected tweet, I wouldn’t have met so many AMAZING people over the last two months!! So many people who I now consider friends and I am so grateful for that!! Thank you for the emails, tweets and outpouring of love!! Thank you for being you!! And thank you for your beautiful selfies!! What an incredible journey this had been!!

My Viral TweetAnd speaking of photos, I had a HUGE revelation recently: I rarely post photos that show my wheelchair and that made me a little bit sad, especially since my wheelchair is such a part of who I am.

So that’s why I’ve chosen this photo as my new profile pic on social media. I mean, the yellow flowers may have swayed me too, but I love how my entire wheelchair is on full display…

As a woman with a disability, I’ve struggled for a long time with self-confidence, body image and just being OK with myself. It hasn’t been an easy journey, but it’s something I’ve tried to work on. We all have things we’re self-conscious about and mine just happens to be a very visible disability. I’m not sure the journey will ever be complete for me — maybe something like self-acceptance and self-love doesn’t have a finish line? Maybe it’s a lifelong process.

Can you relate, friends? What have you struggled with when it comes to self-esteem, self-confidence and self-love? Let’s support each other! And as always, thank you for all the support for my viral tweet… xoxo

World Kindness Day and the Power of Mr. Rogers

World Kindness DayIt’s no coincidence that World Kindness Day and Cardigan Day are on the same day! There’s no one who personified love and kindness like Mr. Rogers and I saw that kindness first-hand when I was just four years old. I wrote him a letter (I’m pretty sure my mom helped!) about my disability and he took the time to write back. I’ve saved that letter for three decades and thought today was the perfect time to share it. It’s a bit tattered from the ravages of time, but his message is still fresh and vital…

Talk about life coming full circle (I feel like I do that a lot lately): Last year, I wrote about the importance of Mr. Rogers for CNN Opinion!! It was a complete joy to honor his legacy in words and share all the lessons he’s taught the world. I wrote these words…

I grew up with the wonders of public television. Shows like Sesame Street and Mister Rogers’ Neighborhood not only entertained me, but were also the building blocks of my education and the cornerstone of my childhood, teaching me all about numbers and spelling and even life skills like manners and how to make friends. And because of my disability, I couldn’t get around as easily as the other kids my age, so at times, those shows were literally my window to the world. I may not have been able to climb on the playground equipment, but I sang along to Mister Rogers’ opening song and hung out with Lady Elaine Fairchilde.

World Kindness Day
In 2019, kindness doesn’t always come easily. I know that I’ve been there far too many times to count myself, so don’t think that you’re the only one who has ever felt like this. The world feels like a mess and we all get angry and frustrated, but thank goodness for the wise words from everyone’s favorite neighbor!

Let love and kindness guide you today and every day — whether it’s World Kindness Day or not. I love you, friends… xoxo

Yes, I’m 38 and a Shawn Mendes Fangirl

Shawn MendesOh, hi. I have something very important and personal to share today. It’s a deep secret that I haven’t really shared with the rest of the world. I am a Shawn Mendes fangirl.

Whew! Did I really just say (err, type) that??

All the way back in February, I shared my confession on Twitter, as everyone does these days: “I’d just like to publicly thank Shawn Mendes for officially giving me my first Mrs. Robinson moment…”

Ahh, finally, my deepest secret was out there. Interestingly, I felt a weight lift from my shoulder the second I hit ‘post.’ After all, I’ve tried to deny my feelings, but as REO Speedwagon once said, “I can’t fight this feeling anymore.” And I can’t. There’s really no point because this crooner has my heart. Yes, I know he has no idea who I am (and my mom will probably think this post is creepy and weird), but coming clean about my feelings means that I no longer had to hide in the shadows of fandom. It meant that I could fully be myself: An older Millennial who loves Shawn Mendes.

Shawn MendesI followed that tweefession (confessional tweet) with my thoughts on his music to his relationship with Camila Cabello until less than a month later, when I made things social media official…

“In related news, I’m officially in love with Shawn Mendes!!!!” I joyfully proclaimed. I think the three red heart emojis really drove my point home.

And, yes, it was joyful, indeed. I’m sure there are lots of others out there who are just like me, so I’m here to tell you: There is no shame in this so-called guilty pleasure. There’s no shame in listening to “If I Can’t Have You” and then daydreaming about Shawn spending his nights reading texts from you.

And, in a related announcement: After years of dreaming about being serenaded Lloyd Dobler-style to “In Your Eyes,” the dream has changed. I now want to be serenaded to this Shawn Mendes lyric: “I want all of you, all the strings attached.”

One warning, though: I have A LOT of strings…

Shawn MendesSo, go forth, friends, and don’t feel bad about all your guilty pleasures!! There’s an incredible sense of power and freedom in simply leaning into something that you totally love and that makes you ridiculously happy. Because let’s face it, the world is not the happiest place right now! We can use all the adorable, addictive, toe-tapping music we can get, right?

Are you a Shawn Mendes fan? Do you have a favorite song of his? Don’t even get me started on he and Camila’s steamy performance at this year’s VMAs. I. Can’t. Even. Sigh… xoxo

Thoughts on National Boyfriend Day

National Boyfriend DayLast Thursday was National Boyfriend Day and I’d just like to give a shout-out to my teenage self, who painstakingly came up with this 12-point checklist for her “boyfriends and husband.”

Honestly, I’ve got to give her props for her sheer optimism and for knowing exactly what she wants!  Apparently, at that age, everything was crystal clear in the “What I Want In A Relationship” department because I distinctly remember sitting down to write that list and the words just came flowing out so effortlessly. One, two, three…before I knew it, I had 12 must-have qualities for the future loves of my life.

Don’t believe me? Check out the indisputable proof right here. For example…

I was a firm feminist at the age of 17…

National Boyfriend Day National Boyfriend Day#6. Supportive: “This is in both my personal life as well as in my career. I wouldn’t want any guy to hold me back — this is the ‘90s and I want a ‘90’s man!”

Turns out, I couldn’t deal with the mansplainers even back then…

National Boyfriend Day#9. Self-confident: “I need a man who believes in himself, but he must not be overly confident because that could border on being conceited.”

And then the other day, I was searching for something on the blog and came across this post from a year ago. It still rings true: Where HAVE all the good men gone?

It’s a question that I keep on asking: Where are all the good men? Where are all the good men? Where are all the good men? Those six words seem to haunt me to no end because I’m not exactly sure about the answer to that question.

As I wrote in the post…

“Are they all hiding from me? Are they at the local Target? Busy taking a morning jog? Or maybe they’re all “too scared” to come out and actually support women when we need it the most? Honestly, that last scenario is the only one that seems plausible to me right now. Because I’m sure not seeing these good men that people like my mom swear are out there. All I’m seeing are entitled, mansplaining dude bros who are exasperated that they’re being called out because, for some, their cushy little life has never been disrupted like that before.”

So here’s my plea (do any men even read my blog?): Please show yourselves, men of the world. For the love of all things, please, please just let us know you’re out there. Please let us know that good and decent men still exist in this ever-dimming dark world. Can you do that, please? Thank you and I hope you all had a happy National Boyfriend Day… xoxo

P.S. Someone’s name has been blacked out of the above diary entry to protect the innocent…and save me from embarrassment.

[First and last photo via Unsplash]