How Have You Been Feeling Lately?

FeelingHow have y’all been feeling lately?

I found this photo from my birthday a couple years ago and realized that I’ve since lost that cool, cheery cup!! It’s sort of symbolic, isn’t it? We haven’t had many “best days ever” during the pandemic. And, honestly, it sometimes feels like those carefree, innocent days are gone forever, doesn’t it??

Yes, these are certainly strange times, indeed. I don’t know about you, but I’ve been having ALL the feelings lately. I’ve been sad. I’ve been angry. I’ve been anxious. I’ve been confused. I’ve been scared.

See, so many emotions!! It can even be hard to sort through them all at times.

In 2016, I wrote these words in a blog post: “On the outside, it may look like I’m one of those cool, nonchalant girls who is just soooo relaxed and has it all together. But on the inside? I’m one gigantic mess of feels.”

I don’t have this whole life thing figured out. I don’t think any of us know exactly what we’re doing. This big thing called life is just one giant, utterly complete mystery.

I’ve shared a lot about my depression and these last few months of the pandemic feels like a sort of hazy dream. My depression was one of the scariest times in my life and I kept a diary during that time. A few months ago, I read through it for the first time. I haven’t opened that diary in 9 years (maybe out of fear?), but I wanted to share a passage because it captures depression/what we’re all feeling during quarantine/all these emotions so perfectly…

You can be a strong person and you can be a happy person — I was both those things before I became depressed. But depression is a physical illness and it’s not something you can just power through with strength and a smile. It doesn’t mean you’re weak or lazy. It means you’re sick…and it’s not your fault. Let’s change the conversation around mental illness, OK?
The world is so scary right now, so I’m going to keep clinging to the things that bring me joy. No matter how small. Life is hard and confusing right now, but I hope y’all are having a good day today!! We’ll get through this together… xoxo

Why Mental Health Awareness Month Is So Important

Mental Health Awareness MonthMay is Mental Health Awareness Month. As I’m sure you all know by now, mental health is something that’s so important to me, especially how we view it and how we treat those who are struggling with love and compassion.

In honor of this month, I wanted to take a minute to remind you of a couple important things:

1. Mental illness is the SAME as physical illness. It’s not simply a matter of “pulling yourself up by your bootstraps.” Would you say that to someone who had cancer? Would you say that to someone in a wheelchair? NO.

2. There is NO shame in seeking help. It doesn’t mean you’re weak or a coward. It means you’re strong.

3. Never underestimate the importance of asking someone, “How are you?” It’s loving and powerful and caring. And those three words could very well save someone’s life.

Also, here are some of my favorite pieces on mental health that I’ve written over the years…

• How Phrases Like “I’m So OCD” Are Damaging

• 5 Things I’ve Learned About Suicide

• 5 Things I’ve Learned About Depression In 5 Years

• End The Stigma

• In Which I Have Some Deep Thoughts on Therapy

• On Facing My Depression

• How To Support A Loved One With PTSD  —  From Someone Who Has It

Mental Health Awareness MonthNever be afraid to speak out, friends. It’s the best thing we can do in this life. If you’re struggling, know that you are loved. Visit NAMI to learn about this year’s #CureStigma campaign and resources for getting help. We’re all in this together. Love you… xoxo

[Photos via We Heart It]

World Mental Health Day: End the Stigma

World Mental Health DayI know we usually talk music on Tuesdays, but I want to get serious today for one very special and important reason: It’s World Mental Health Day…

I’ve always been a firm believer in talking openly and honestly about this often-taboo subject. Yes, I’ve battled depression and anxiety. Yes, I’ve been hospitalized for it. No, I’m NOT ashamed.

Mental illness is one of the most stigmatized and misunderstood illnesses in the world. It strikes everyone — young, old, rich, poor — and it doesn’t discriminate. It’s not going to go away because you’re “strong” or because mental illness doesn’t “happen to people like you.” If only things in life were that simple.

So we try to understand it, try to wrap our minds around these afflictions of the mind and try to find a simple, go-to explanation — something that will cure it once and for all. And when we realize nothing is ever that easy when it comes to mental illness? We start throwing around phrases that are decidedly unhelpful and downright damaging: “Just get over it.” “Pull yourself up by your bootstraps.” “You have no reason to be sad or anxious.”

Honestly, it’s these kinds of statements make me realize just how much work needs to be done to change things and to end that stigma because mental illness IS a physical illness. The worst thing you can say to someone struggling with a mental illness is to just get over it or buck up. That’s not how it works, unfortunately. So, please, educate yourself because I can guarantee you that mental illness will touch you at some point in your life, whether it’s you or a loved one. And just like a physical illness, people can’t get through something like depression or anxiety or OCD without the love and support of their loved ones.

We can all do our part to END THE STIGMA — today, tomorrow and forever. Here are some past pieces I’ve written on mental health…

•  “In Which I Have Some Deep Thoughts on Therapy”

•  “5 Things I’ve Learned About Depression In 5 Years”

•  “Wise Words on Crying”

•  “On Facing My Depression”

•  “How To Support A Loved One With PTSD — From Someone Who Has It”

•  “An Open Letter To Fellow Suicide Survivors On World Mental Health Day”

World Mental Health DayWhat words of wisdom do you have for dealing with a mental illness, friends? What can we do to be more supportive? If you’re struggling, please remember that YOU ARE LOVED. YOU ARE WORTH IT. YOU ARE NOT ALONE. I love you!!! xoxo

[Photos via We Heart It]

In Which I Have Some Deep Thoughts on Therapy

Deep Thoughts on TherapyI’m still not quite sure how it happened. Maybe it was the fact that I was sitting outside and soaking up the afternoon summer sun or maybe I was just feeling particularly zen, but last week, I felt all sorts of philosophical about things! So much so that I posted these deep thoughts on therapy on social media while I was waiting for my monthly therapy session to start…

Off to my monthly therapy session. I’ve been in therapy for 14 years and although I’m proud of the progress I’ve made, I still need this monthly check-in. I could get down on myself about that, but I don’t. Because there’s nothing wrong with that. It’s healthy and healing. Taking care of yourself is a beautiful thing. #BeBraveBeYou #MentalHealthAwareness

It’s been a long road, obviously, but I do feel like I’m getting to a better place. So perhaps that’s positive? Take it from me, friends, there is NO SHAME in going to therapy and taking care of your mental health. It’s actually the most beautiful gift you could ever give yourself. You deserve it, don’t you think? xoxo

P.S. 10 Things I’d Tell You About Depression.

[Photo via We Heart It]

In Which I Reflect on My Disability…

Clarity is a funny thing. It’s something we all want, but it’s one of those things that can’t be rushed. It’s going to come in its own sweet time. Still, that doesn’t stop us from constantly looking for that light bulb moment.
Eventually, that light bulb moment comes shining through — sometimes, just when you need it the most. I was doing some cleaning over the weekend and came across these words. I wrote them some six years ago, when I was deep in the throes of my depression.

I hate my disability right now. I always thought I had come to terms with it and even learned to love it, but now it just makes me feel useless, like some giant waste of space. What is my purpose? How can I be a contributing member of society? I just want to make my family proud, and I feel like I’m letting them down.

And speaking of family, I touched on them, too…

I worry about my family. I feel so traumatized by my father’s death, and I’m scared that those panicky feelings are never going to go away. I don’t want to be alone. I don’t want to feel like I’m sinking. But at the same time, I also don’t want to be a burden to the people I love the most in the whole world. We used to be so happy — nothing bad, it seemed, ever happened to us — and now I don’t know how we’ll ever make it to the other side of this journey. I need my family. I need them more than they probably even realize. I need them to tell me everything is going to be OK. I need them to love me. I need them to hold onto me so I can just stop sinking. And sometimes, I just want to sit with them and cry — cry on their shoulders and just get all my worries out.

It’s interesting that I’d choose to focus on something like my disability, especially considering all the emotions running through me at the time. But maybe it was important that I dealt with these feelings then because it helped give me such a clear sense of clarity now.

It’s strange how things work out like that sometimes, isn’t it? Have you ever felt like this, friends? How did your moment of clarity arrive? xoxo