marriage Archives - So About What I Said

Wednesday, June 10, 2020

Sorry, Hallmark…My Parents Had the Best Love Story

My parents got married 42 years ago today. Wow, 42 years…can you believe that, friends?? To hear my mom tell the story, she and my dad exchanged vows on a warm summer evening, eager and excited to start their lives together. If you ask me, June 10th should be declared a national holiday because, honestly, we could all learn a lot from the love between my parents.

Their time together wasn’t nearly long enough, but their love story was more romantic than any Hallmark movie and more powerful than any ‘80s power ballad. They showed their love, not with big, sweeping romantic gestures like the ones you do see on those lovey-dovey Hallmark movies. Instead, you saw their love shine through in the everyday moments — those tiny pockets of reality that seem so mundane on the surface. Like when my dad rubbed my mom’s back every night. Like when my mom sat through every single Terminator movie even though that was the last thing she wanted to do.

These aren’t the sorts of moments you’d find in a rom-com, but then again, maybe that’s the entire point. Rom-coms are meant to be spectacular, but there’s just as much value and even more romance in living day-to-day with someone. Perhaps that’s even more special because you really get to know the person; I’ve never seen two people as bonded as my parents, two people who loved each other as if it was their wedding day every day.

That kind of love is rare — it’s not something you can plan or even force. If it’s there, it’s there. And for my mom and dad, it was there.

I’m so grateful they got to experience it every day they were together and I wish they could spend their twilight years together. They both deserved that. More than any other two people in the entire world. I’m so grateful that I got to see what true love looks like because it is real and beautiful. You won’t find that in any Hallmark script, will you??? xoxo

Monday, June 11, 2018

🐻 Ms. Bear Remembers the Love (and Some Lessons) on Her 40th Wedding Anniversary 💓

Forty years??? Yesterday would have been Brian’s and my 40th wedding anniversary. Wow, that seems like a long time. We only made it to 24, almost 25. Each year on my anniversary, I let myself think for a few minutes about how we would be celebrating if he was still here. Brian loved to give the schmaltzy cards, flowers and candy. He was every woman’s dream date, and believe me, I know how lucky I was to have him. I think he felt the same way because after he died, I found every card I ever gave him!

So, yesterday I wondered how I would react to this milestone anniversary, especially since I was helping out at church with a celebration for three couples who were hitting their 45th wedding anniversary this year. I worried I would feel sad. But, you know what?? I was so happy to help them celebrate. I even made little bags of candy to represent the years of marriage. Here’s the little poem that went along with them…

Skittles are for the sunshiny times you’ve had
Carmels for those rather sticky times
Dark chocolate for the dark and sometimes bitter times
And Laffy Taffy for all the shared laughs over the years

Marriage is really a hodge-podge of feelings and emotions as you go through life together. If you’re lucky, the happy times greatly outweigh the bad times! But, as my mother cautioned me before I got married, “There will be happy times and not-so-happy times and there will be times you will be flush with money and times you won’t have enough.” Oh, the wisdom of our mothers!

But, to carry on with my day: I learned a big lesson this year. First, I’ll tell you about my afternoon and then I will tell you the lesson (oh, the suspense!). After lunch (Melissa bought me Jersey Mike’s subs, which were excellent, as always), Janelle and I went to the store to buy some supplies for a friend of mine who was ill. We went around the store picking out things we thought would be good and then we delivered them.

So, here’s the lesson I learned…when you get too caught up in your emotions, it really helps to do something for someone else! That outing to the store gave me a purpose outside of thinking about how Brian is not here to celebrate with me. I’m going to remember this lesson for the next time I may need it!

There were two other fun things from yesterday that I want to remember. First, Janelle made me a cake that she called the “love cake.” It was truly a piece of art! Then, when we ate the cake, Melissa surprised me by buying me the first season of Bewitched on Amazon Prime. Sometimes we all need a little magic in our day!

Tuesday, February 21, 2017

How to Pick the Perfect Wedding Date

We’re less than one month away from the first day of spring and you know what that means, don’t you, friends? Wedding season is coming!! Can’t you smell it in the air already? To help us get in the mood and figure out how to pick the perfect wedding date, I give you the experts at Orla James, the London-based company specializing in wedding jewelry. Read on for their top four tips, like why getting married during wedding season might not be such a good idea… xoxo

So you’ve finally popped the question? But have you thought about when the big day will be? Are you looking to tie the knot as quickly as possible, or do you want to give yourself time to prepare? The fact is that, emotions aside, there are practical reasons for picking the right wedding date. Don’t jump into making the decision quickly or you could end up regretting it.

Having a wedding is not a spur-of-the-moment thing. It requires time and effort. Most of the time, the bride has the scenario of the perfect wedding in mind — the venue, the dress, the cake, etc. All of these things take time to arrange. Plus, all of these things might not be available when you need them.

“There’s so much planning that goes into a wedding and none of this can really get started until a date is set, but finding a suitable date can be a battle in itself!” says Katie of Orla James.

Availability Of Friends And Family

Your wedding is your special day. But it wouldn’t really be all that special if all of those people you consider special to you were not there. While picking a date for your wedding, you need to consider the availability of your close friends and family. This doesn’t mean just anyone, but your nearest and dearest friends, people without whom you would feel your wedding is incomplete.

Talk to these people and find out if there are any major events happening around them. Ask them if there are dates when they are busy. Give them your preferred dates, a month or a weekend that you like and have them give you their feedback. See what they come back with. Use this information to decide a few different date choices — choices that don’t include the ones when these people are not available.

Do this once and once only, and like we’ve said, only with your nearest and dearest. The more people you involves, the more complicated it gets. If you know of someone else who may be planning a wedding, it would be advisable to ensure that there are no date conflicts with them either.

Picking The Venue

Another important factor while setting your wedding date involves the venue. Most people do not think of checking out their desired venue before setting a date, but this is essential. If you start looking for a venue after picking your wedding date, you are basically decreasing your options right away. With a number of potential dates in hand, you can look at and decide on a number of different suitable venues. Once you’ve found the perfect venue, you can decide which date works for you.

The Importance Of An Important Date

There are some people who get married on specific days because of religious or cultural reasons. If you are one of those, then picking your wedding date could be out of your hands. But if you aren’t one of those, you should consider marrying on a date with special significance.

See if the date of your first meeting or first kiss works for you. Maybe the date on which you proposed. You might want to honor your dead parents by having a wedding on the date of their anniversary. Picking an important date will add that extra bit of significance to your wedding, making it even more memorable. Just make sure that this date is feasible.

Consider Your Budget

Most people don’t know this, but there is a wedding season during the summers leading into October. During this time, everything is expensive since a lot of weddings are taking place. Things may cost up to 2 to 3 times higher than what they do during off-season. This is due to supply and demand, and not something you can help.

Only get married during the wedding season if you really have to. Also consider not getting married on weekends. For the same reason as above, everything is more expensive during the weekends. You can really have your pick of venues and catering if you do this.

Days To Avoid At All Costs

Then there are days that you just can’t get married on. There are specific days when it would be impossible for you to get off from work. Days like the end of the year when the accounts are closed. You don’t want to get married with the burden of work hanging over you. Plus, your honeymoon could be adversely affected. Public holidays like Christmas and Easter are out as well.

(This post is sponsored by Orla James. Thanks so much for continuing to support So About What I Said’s wonderful sponsors!)

[Photos via We Heart It]

Thursday, December 8, 2016

This Target-Themed Anniversary Shoot Is Life

Seven words: This Target-themed anniversary shoot is life…

Despite the bitter cold and impending snow heading to the Midwest this weekend, I’m psyched to be taking one of my classic Target trips tomorrow — Christmas shopping, HELLO! But…would you ever consider staging an anniversary photo shoot in everyone’s favorite shopping locale? Lauren and Corey Rexroad, an adorable couple from West Virginia who got married last year, did just that, and, well, I’m in love!

Lauren and Corey had spent a lot of time walking up and down the aisles of Target while decorating their first home together and wanted to capture the special spot the store has in their relationship.

“I wanted something that reflected our first year,” said Lauren. “I thought that Target would be the prime location! Callie [the photographer] and I brainstormed the idea and she ran with it. This shoot would have been nothing without her and her creativity.”

How cute is that? Target staff even made sure the aisles were clear so the couple’s full vision could come to life! I don’t know about you, but I think this is such a romantic and creative idea; it’s a fun way to capture not just your wedding but also your first year of marriage because, honestly, who doesn’t spend half their life in Target?

Would you ever consider doing something like this, friends? Did you have a wedding shoot when you got married? I once asked my mom about her wedding shoot and she looked at me like I was from another planet — “people in my day [the ’70s] didn’t do that sort of thing,” she’s always telling me. Hmmm, is that true?? For those who got married back then, did you have a wedding shoot? Or, is my mom right and that sort of thing just hadn’t become in vogue yet? xoxo

[Photography by Callie Lindsey; via Huffington Post]

Tuesday, September 27, 2016

Tuesday Tunes: 6 Possible Wedding Songs

I had such a good time doing a TV theme song round-up last week, so I thought I’d do another fun round-up today.

Who hasn’t thought about their ideal wedding song? I know I can’t be the only one here, right? Maybe I’m just a sappy sucker for those slow, romantic tunes, but I literally have a list of first-dance songs for the future Mr. Melissa Blake. OK, so some consider it a rather long list, but I don’t care because each song means something to me. And that’s what really matters, isn’t it?? So, with dreams of starry nights and starry eyes, here are my 6 top wedding song picks…

“Fields of Gold” — Sting: True, it may sound a bit, umm, melancholy, but it’s that sort of hauntingly beautiful melancholy. And that?? Well, that just makes all the difference in the world.

Crimson & Clover — Tommy James and the Shondells: Those opening notes and damn, that hauntingly seductive opening line. Doesn’t it just sound positively perfect? “I think I can love her…over and over.” It’s just you and me, Mr. Melissa Blake — for all of eternity.

“You Baby” — The Turtles: Because I like to break tradition every so often, why not opt for a song that you wouldn’t expect to hear? This one’s uptempo and it’s got such a sense of optimism to it. What a great send-off for starting your life with someone!

“When I’m With You” — Sheriff: Oh, come on! You know I HAD to slip an ’80s power ballad in here, if for no other reason than for the pure, unadulterated emotion these songs express. It’s the perfect way to passionately describe how you feel about your loved one!

“Please Forgive Me” — Bryan Adams: The idea of being so consumed by someone that you feel almost out of body? Sounds sort of intriguing, doesn’t it? Plus, I just love Adams’ gravely voice!

“Groovy Kind of Love” — Phil Collins: Sure, this may be an overly simplistic song, but the greats always are. There’s nothing pretentious or conditional about this love. It just is. It’s how all great loves should be.

What do you think of my choices, friends? If you’re married, what was your wedding song? Which song would you choose for your future special day?? I’d love to see all your picks, too!! xoxo

[Top photos via We Heart It]