In Defense of Being Alone

aaBeing alone sure gets a bad rap. It’s *almost* even worse than the plague or being seen in last year’s fashions. Surround yourself with people, people, people! Being alone is sort of like the kiss of death. There have been songs about it, books on the subject and movie/TV characters exploring the idea at every turn.

The horror!

And what’s more, we can’t want to be alone. We must never show any inkling of this desire for fear of friends and family bringing out the Kleenex and sitting us down for a heart-to-heart discussion that may or may not really be their attempts at an intervention. Times a-wasting and something must be done before all hope is lost. Something must be done before it’s too late, right? I mean, there must be something wrong with you if you want to be alone so much; people want to try and “fix” you, to perform some sort of miraculous exorcism by which that evil demon will loosen the tight grip it has on you. Or something like that.

Whoa! Are you tired yet? I know I am. This idea of choosing to be alone — it’s a lot to take in, apparently. I’m not sure how wanting to be alone ever became such a taboo thing in the first place. Surely there were cave people who were like, “Hey! Yes, you, fellow cave dweller…please leave me alone! I want to contemplate this fire thing all by myself!” They may not have used those exact words, but I’m willing to bet the overall sentiment was there, loud and clear.

Maybe it’s all because the idea of being alone is such a foreign concept to some people. Or, maybe it’s because it’s natural to sometimes project your feelings onto other people’s lives — we’ve all done it, haven’t we? But at the very root, I think it all comes down to assumptions. We’ve come to associate being alone with being unhappy, so we automatically assume that you must be miserably unhappy if you should find yourself alone. To be alone is to be sad, and no one would actively choose that, right?

Yet a lot of people confuse “being alone” with “being lonely,” and those are two entirely different concepts. You can be the most popular person in the world and constantly be surrounded by people — a steady stream of people going through the revolving door of your life.Or you can choose to feel like an island sometimes and be perfectly content. That is, you can be alone and — wait for it — LOVE IT. At least that’s the case with me. Now, I’m not saying I’m going to feel this way forever; who knows how I’ll feel in a month, a year or even five years from now. But today, I’m happy to be flying solo, to have time to myself and still feel completely present. Perhaps Mindy Kaling said it best when she spoke to Buzzfeed last year…

It’s funny, I used to freak out about being single much more in my twenties. I’ve noticed that the more professional success I have, or the more happy I am professionally, the less I worry about that because I have a great deal of professional confidence. I’ve noticed whenever I’ve felt the most boy crazy or when I wanted to get married it was when I was not so happy professionally. I have this thing and it’ll happen like five times a year on a Sunday night, the feeling like, Oh, a family would be great. Not even being in a relationship — but a family because I’m 35. I think what snaps me out of it is just the fact that I love being by myself. I think that if I was in the wrong relationship, which I have been in several, that would be so much worse than the feeling of autonomy I feel right now.

So, the lesson here? Don’t assume that there is something inherently wrong with craving alone time. It isn’t desperate or sad or pathetic. It isn’t abnormal and it certainly doesn’t mean that there’s something wrong with you. Yes, people may try to change your mind or try to change who you are. Don’t let them. Being alone can be such a beautiful, freeing and refreshing experience. When else would you have the opportunity to really dig in and discovery who you are? I’ve learned so much about myself over the years, and I doubt I would have be able to do that if I was surrounded by people 24/7.

aa2LET’S ALL CELEBRATE BEING ALONE…you know, just not celebrating together!

Do you like being alone, friends? Why do you think it’s become taboo? How do you carve out some quality alone time for yourself? Any tips you’d like to share?? xoxo

[Photos via We Heart It]

4 Reasons Back-To-School Is Better Than New Year’s

With summer winding down (insert crying emoji), I’m slowly working my way back to my school year work routine. In addition to limiting myself to two episodes of Angel each day, this routine includes heading to the campus library a few times a week. I went a handful of times during the summer, and the scene was calm and quiet — picturesque, even.

And then, thousands of students descended on my tranquil paradise like flies drawn to a summer picnic. They came back in droves today — the students, not the flies. Now, I don’t begrudge them an education, of course; I applaud furthering your education and am thoroughly pro-knowledge. But between the crowds, scared freshmen and the loud college band across from the library, it was all a lot to take in! Sensory overload, anyone??

Maybe, though, it didn’t have to be that way. The more I thought about it, the more I realized something: The back-to-school season is SO MUCH BETTER than New Year’s. Don’t believe me?? Here are four reasons back-to-school gets an A+ every single time…

It’s a new beginning: It’s so easy to get bogged down by the stresses of life, but this time of year, everything just feels fresh. It’s like you’ve been given a clean slate and you get to start over. Whatever happened in the past? It’s time to put it behind you and LET IT GO!!

It’s a chance to learn something new: What about that hobby you’ve always wanted to pick up? Now’s the perfect time. And I bet it will actually make you feel like a whole new person — an added bonus, for sure!!

It’s all about the nice weather: Hello! Who would choose the cold winter over the warm weather of the late summer? OK, my mom probably would, but she’s probably one of the only ones! I mean, the weather right now is just so inviting — crisp air, leaves starting to change color, warm sunshine! It’s a summer lover’s paradise, I tell you! It’s days like these when I actually don’t dread going outside.

The school supplies are all over: I’m a self-proclaimed supply-aholic. Some people go nuts during Fashion Week; I’m tempted to drain my bank account every August and fill my room with all kinds of pens, pencils and notebooks. I’m still kicking myself for not buying the Wonder Woman notebook I spotted at Target last week!

Do you love “back-to-school” time, friends? What’s your favorite part? Anything you’re hoping to accomplish?!? xoxo

[Photo via We Heart It]

What iPhone Apps Do You Love?

A couple years ago, I asked about your favorite iPhone apps since I’d just upgraded to a cool phone. Like most things involving technology (well, aside from blogging!), I’m late to the party yet again, but I JUST got my first iPhone yesterday!
I’ll just let that confession sink in for a moment.

Anyway, I’m a bit overwhelmed by this new-fangled gadget. I need your help, friends! I’m dying to add some fun apps to my phone, but…which ones??

What iPhone apps do you love? Which ones do you have on your phone?? Which ones can’t you live without? And most importantly…is Candy Crush horribly passe? Let me know your favorites in the comments! I’ve got some adding to do! xoxo

P.S. Maybe the BEST part of my induction into the world of iPhones?? I can finally use emojis on the regular — there are millions of them at my fingertips now!! So get ready for that! I’m pretty fond of the unicorn emoji — who knew there was a beautiful UNICORN emoji?? It’s a brave new world for me!! 🙂

[Photo via We Heart It]

10 Random Thoughts I Had While Trying To Fall Asleep

I’m one of those people whose mind is running like a hamster wheel until the moment I fall asleep. It doesn’t matter that my head may have hit the pillow; half the time, I’m not even sure that my body knows the difference between lying down and sitting up. It has a mind of its own and tends to operate at full speed ahead — thanks for passing that trait down to me, Ms. Bear!

It’s sort of a curse, really, this inability to calm down and quiet my mind. Maybe I need to start practicing some of those New Age-y mindfulness activities or drink a glass of warm milk before bed. But, c’mon, who has the patience for that??

I certainly don’t.

So I’m left with my wandering — and wondering — mind, then. Every night. Last night was a particularly eventful one, too. In the name of preservation and for your sheer entertainment/enjoyment/anti-boredom solution, I made a mental note (I know, the irony!) of some of the thoughts that crossed my mind last night. Come with me as we take a little walk through the catacombs of my mind. Here are 10 random thoughts I had while trying to fall asleep…

1. Where did the phrase “counting sheep” come from? I’d much prefer something like “watching paint dry.” Sheep are so cute!

2. I’m so sad that we only have 10 episodes left of Nurse Jackie! What are we going to watch next? This is a VERY serious matter.

3. Wow, my Netflix/TV addiction is real. Is there a 12-step program for that?
4. Now that it’s summer, I really should invest in some neon polo shirts. After all, it’s only fitting that my loud wardrobe should match my loud personality.

5. OK, it’s still in the midnight hour. If I go to sleep RIGHT NOW, I’ll still get almost eight hours of sleep.

6. Come on, eyes, lull yourself into a deep, peaceful slumber. I’m really not kidding around here.

7. I have so much work to do tomorrow. Time to make a mental to-do list!

8. Oh, shoot, what if I can’t remember everything on that list? Too bad my phone is charging.

9. Why can’t summer last 365 days?

10. I think I’m going to get a taco salad for lunch tomorrow. I’ve been craving one, and I’m not in the business of denying myself things that make me the happiest.

Whew!! See what I mean here, friends? The loops! The nagging! The food cravings! Will it ever end? What do you find yourself thinking about at night? How do you stop those incessant thoughts from keeping you awake? I’d love to know your tips! xoxo

[Photo via We Heart It]

Love Lounge: 15 True Things About Love, Life and Texting After Midnight

I’ve lived. I’ve loved (albeit mostly unrequited, but, oh, it was still love). And I have A LOT of stories I could tell about it all, obviously. I’ve experienced my fair share of realizations over the years. Let’s just say I’m a walking, talking encyclopedia of sorts. Seriously. All these little gems are stored in my brain like computer memory on a hard drive.

And out of all those stories, I’ve gleaned some precious golden nuggets of truth. Some life hacks, as the hip kids are saying these days.

Don’t believe me? Check out these 15 Things I Know To Be True About Life and Love…

1. The darkest hour is just before dawn — and when you tweet or text after midnight.

2. Love is a many splendor thing, especially when you love yourself the most.

3. If you get lost, look for a sign. Chances are, you’ll find an even better path — or an IHOP.

4. In life, throw out your eraser and wear your flaws and faults proudly. They’re a testament to how far you’ve come.

5. An apple a day keeps the doctor away. Unless said doctor is Dr. Owen Hunt. In that case, send him my way — I just came down with a high fever!

6. When in doubt, take a nap.

7. Guys are like ice cream: Incredibly sweet in small doses, but too much and they’ll give you a brain freeze.

8. All’s fair in love and the Netflix queue.

9. Over-thinking never really solved anything. It just eventually gives you a whole bunch of new problems you didn’t even know you had in the first place.

10. There are absolutely NO store loyalties when it comes to a good bargain.

11. If people make fun of your favorite TV shows, chances are they’re just jealous because you’re at one with your guilty pleasures.

12. Your family knows you better than you will ever admit, even though you secretly like that they have your back.

13. If your first crush seems like such a mistake now, just think of it this way: You could be married to that mistake by now.

14. If something looks too good to be true, it’s probably because you forgot to take off your rose-colored glasses. See #13.

15. Be brave. Be you. And don’t read the comments.

Well, friends, consider yourself enlightened tonight! What life and love lessons have you learned over the years? Let’s have a gab fest in the comments, shall we? xoxo

[Photos via We Heart It]