Wait, what did you think I was going to say? #Wink
Seriously, though, I’m so excited to have a new piece published on Cosmo, which is the ultimate Bible for my generation. Plus, umm, file this under Things I Never Thought I’d Do: Mention my virginity in a Cosmo headline!!! I mean, I’ve been incredibly candid about love and disability before on Cosmo, but now?? I can add in-your-face headline to my overshare list!
Yessss, I went there and bared my soul to the entire Internet — and pretty much the entire world, for that matter! I also admitted that I’d never watched everyone’s favorite “trying-to-make-a-love-connection” reality show.
But in a shocking twist spoiler alert worthy of The Bachelor itself, I’ll let you in on a little secret: I wanted to watch it. Desperately. So, I did! And, luckily, I got to write all about my thoughts as a first-time watcher. Ooooh, friends, it was certainly a doozy of an experience! My head is still sort of spinning — and not just because of ALL THE KISSING SCENES! Seriously, so much kissing!!!! Whyyyyy???
Here’s an excerpt of the piece, where I look at how the show handled the topic of virginity and the pervasive double standard when it comes to male vs. female virginity…
“And then there are people like me. I don’t look “normal” by any means, thanks to my physical disability. And I’ve never been shy about writing about my own virginity. But a lot of the messages I get come from commenters who think people with disabilities don’t have the same needs and wants as able-bodied people–they say things like, ‘Your disability and wheelchair will always be in the way,’ which is not only hurtful, but also inaccurate and archaic.
So what’s my verdict? When I mentioned to some fellow writers that I was writing this, one friend said, ‘I think you may find that, as is often the case during loss of virginity, it’s awkward, disappointing, and sometimes painful for women.’
Interestingly, that pretty much sums up my first time with The Bachelor as well. And yet…I’m still setting my DVR every Monday. For some strange reason, I feel invested in this journey now, however unrealistic, un-relatable, and even occasionally offensive it may be.”
You can read the full piece here and I’d love to hear your thoughts. Feel free to email me anytime at firstname.lastname@example.org and let’s chat! And of course, feel free to share my essay on Facebook, Twitter or even your local refrigerator. If you share on Twitter, be sure to tag me @melissablake so we can connect! I can’t wait to hear from you! And here’s to us going home for the holidays, wherever that may be! Love you all… xoxo