family Archives - So About What I Said

Thursday, September 9, 2021

Welcoming Cozy Season with the FabFitFun Fall Box

Ahhh, can you feel it, friends?? The air is getting crisper, the leaves are changing colors and I feel this irresistible urge to bring out my classic oversized sweatshirts!! Yes, we’re saying goodbye to summer and hello to fall. But it’s not all bad because the FabFitFun Fall Box is here to help us have the ultimate Cozy Season…

To some, the fall months are all about bonfires and football games and haunted houses; in other words, they like to get outside and fully experience everything the season has to offer. Well, as we all know, I’m on Team Homebody, which means that I love to experience the comforts of this time of year — you guessed it — indoors!!

So it’s those little home comforts that I had in mind as I chose the goodies for my fall box — what was going to keep me all warm and toasty while also bringing me lots of smiles and joy??

FabFitFun is known for its seasonal subscription box of full-size fashion, beauty, fitness and lifestyle goodies and one of the things that I love is that the brand is all about female empowerment; in fact, many of the products in the box are from female-founded companies.

Each season, FabFitFun partners with a charity to give back and the charity for fall is especially appropriate. Schools have been hit hard during the pandemic and many schools in underprivileged communities have had to cut back or eliminate their arts programs entirely. Thankfully, Art in Action believes that art is a fundamental right that all students deserve. Art in Action provides high-quality K-8 curriculums to approximately 85,000 students nationwide, so I’m really happy they’ll get to do even more good work with the help of FabFitFun.

It’s hard to believe that this is my FOURTH time partnering with FabFitFun; I’m still thinking about how much I enjoyed our summer garden party — where does the time go?!?!?

I really enjoyed customizing my box and I got to choose all my favorite things!! And, depending on what you customize, each box has up to a $300 value and members pay only $49.99 each season — be sure to check out the end of this post for a special discount code to receive $10 off your first box!

Now, how do I define cozy, you ask?? It all has to do with calm and comfort, of course! As the weather gets colder and colder, I tend to pile on the layers and this blanket is super soft and warm; plus, I’m loving that green color — the perfect fall shade, if you ask me!! I envision lots of TV binge-watching in my future all snuggled under this blanket; my mom and I just might end up fighting over it too!!

And of course we’ll need some snacks during all that binge-watching, so this cheese board, little lunch tote and cup will certainly come in handy!! Oh, and in case you’re wondering, the answer is sharp cheddar cheese. Always. You can’t go wrong with sharp cheddar cheese!

I also chose this hat and when we opened the box, my mom said “Oh, my grandpa always wore a hat like that!” What are the odds?? I’ll think of him every time I wear it! Plus, speaking of family, my mom and I love playing games, so this fun food and drink trivia game will come in handy!! We already played it a little on the patio and I lost — until next time, though!!

Are you excited for fall, friends?? How will you be staying cozy all season long? If you’re looking to upgrade your cozy factor, head over to FabFitFun and use code MELISSABLAKE for $10 off your first box — available in the U.S., Canada, and U.K.

I look forward to seeing what’s on YOUR cozy list or in your FabFitFun Fall Box!!!

(This post is sponsored by FabFitFun, though all opinions are mine. Thanks so much for continuing to support So About What I Said’s wonderful sponsors!)

Monday, March 15, 2021

My Father’s Suicide: 18 Years Ago

I know I say this every year, but time really is a weird thing! It’s the only thing I know that can feel both long and short at the same time — years somehow never feel like just years in the literal sense, which is something I’m continually grappling with in an effort to. So when I think about how last week marked 18 years since my father died from suicide, my mind still can’t comprehend how much time that feels like because it actually feels like a long time and like it just happened yesterday.

I’ve thought a lot about the passing of time and how you experience that time after a loved one dies from suicide; maybe I’ve even spent too much time thinking about it sometimes? All I know is that maybe time feels weird because a part of you never really left the moment your loved one died. Although I’m physically here in 2021, there’s still a part of me that never left March 10th, 2003. There’s still a part of me that’s the scared, frightened 21-year-old who doesn’t know how she’ll go on living without her father and just can’t believe that any of this is real.

It’s sort of like living in two parallel universes and something tells me that it will always be that way. But maybe that’s not necessarily a bad thing? Maybe it’s not so bad to “walk between” these two worlds, to have one foot in the past and one in the present — it’s a way to link the two perhaps? At the very least, I can’t help but feel like it’s a way to keep my dad with me, which is all I’ve ever wanted since the day he died.

And speaking of keeping him with me, something interesting happened last week. I’m usually not one to believe in signs, but last night, a drawing of my dad and me fell down! This beautiful illustration was given to me by the talented artist Brooke Costello and I love it because it feels like a part of my dad is still with me whenever I look at it.

I guess what I’m trying to say is this: If you’re somehow looking down on us, Dad, I hope you’re proud of the people we’ve become!! We miss you every day and wish you were here with us…

Tuesday, January 12, 2021

Happy Birthday to My Superhero Mom

MY MOM IS 65 TODAY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

She’s my rock, role model, confidante, game buddy, bright light, shining star, inspiration, happiness, comfort, heart and soul, pure joy, best friend, Bert to my Ernie and forever the person I aspire to be.

This wonderful lady has been through quite a lot in the past 12 months, so I’d just like to take a few moments to address her — the one and only Ms. Bear!!

Mom: Do you realize all you’ve been through this year?? You had a colonoscopy, another abnormal mammogram, slipped on a newly waxed floor, fell on the ice and needed a couple rounds of steroids — not related to the ice encounter, but still traumatizing in its own way!

But guess what?? You’re still standing, to paraphrase Elton John!! You’ve persevered and you have come out on top!! I know it wasn’t easy at times, like when you ended up in the emergency room last weekend after your fall on the ice, but you kept right on going and that is one of the million reasons you’re my ultimate role model.

After all your accidents and mishaps, several people jokingly said that they wanted to wrap you in bubble wrap to protect you! Honestly, it’s not a bad idea, but might I suggest endless hugs and love instead of bubble wrap?? You’re so good at taking care of yourself, so please let people take care of YOU for a change!! Let us shower you with some cozy love bombs and let us help you rest because you deserve it!

It’s also one of the reasons why you’re my superhero!!! Don’t believe me? Well, check out this illustration from a fan on Instagram! Jamie creates awesome pop art and I’m in love with how she captured the two of us in our classic selfie pose…don’t we look like characters right out of a comic book??

I imagine your comic book character would go around giving loving kindness to people who desperately need it; you’d shower them with love bombs and just generally make the world a brighter, happier, calmer, more comforting place. Because that’s just your nature!! You’re one of the purest souls I know and I’m grateful every day that I get to be around such goodness and love!

And before you say “I’m fine” like you always do, remember this: Even superheroes need their rest. In the world of superheroes, I’d say you deserve rest the most.

Happy birthday, Mom!!! I love you so very much… xoxo

Tuesday, December 22, 2020

Happy Holidays 2020: What a Year

Happy holidays, friends!

I’m going to be honest right from the beginning here. I actually debated whether or not to include the word “happy” in the title of this blog post and even now, I’m still a bit uneasy about it. It’s the end of 2020 and we’re saying goodbye to arguably the worst year of our lives — more than 300K people have died from COVID in less than a year, we’re seeing DAILY record-high numbers of new cases and deaths, people are unemployed and struggling and…well, I could go on and on and on!

So, naturally, it can be hard to see a lot of good right now. I personally have days where I’m extremely pessimistic and can’t see anything good or even redeeming about this year. Maybe you feel the same?

That’s OK if you do. In fact, I’d be surprised if you didn’t feel all this gloom and doom. It can get to be pretty overwhelming sometimes, right? Happy holidays it most definitely is not.

I went into 2020 with such a strong sense of optimism. I was going to continue to grow my career and social media platform and maybe even start seriously thinking about that book I’ve always daydreamed about — ahhh, yes, the possibilities were endless, boundless and ripe for the taking.

It was going to be MY YEAR. But — spoiler alert! — it wasn’t my year and I suspect it wasn’t your year either. Maybe that’s why posting about the “happy” holidays just doesn’t really feel right this year — almost insensitive even! Because the truth is, our lives are never going to be the same; we can pretend that everything is “normal” and just fine, but nothing has been even remotely fine for almost an entire year.

As I began reflecting on my writing career and just life in general in 2020, I started getting down on myself for not publishing as many pieces as last year and generally not being nearly as productive — or motivated. Then again, we weren’t in a pandemic last year! So here’s a Year-In-Review for the year I’m so happy to see ending soon…

I blogged about love and relationships, like how disabled women are hot, an open letter to my sister for her 35th birthday, missing my father, conversations with my mom and what life in quarantine is like.

Disability posts, such as why I spent a year posting selfies, why the 2020 election mattered so much, the 30th anniversary of the ADA, why I WANT you to see my wheelchair in photos and, of course, TROLLS.

Tons of pop culture tidbits, like my love of Frozen 2’s Kristoff, Little Women, The Baby-Sitters Club reboot, an ode to Peppermint Patty (the best Peanuts character), Chuck E. Cheese and 20 years after “Oops!… I Did It Again”!! Oh, and I also became obsessed with the Dolly Parton Challenge!

And you all know I got deeply political too, with posts like what Trump’s Donna Reed comments reveal about misogyny, Trump’s mantrum at the Lincoln Memorial, thank you, Elizabeth Warren, the trap of Female Electability and Nancy Pelosi and that Revolutionary Rip. And of course, I had a message for Karen.

I also published 17 freelance pieces this year for publications like Stylist, Travel and Leisure, SheKnows, Rooted in Rights, DAME, Washington Post and CNN Opinion. I truly loved writing about my favorite topics like disabilities, pop culture and political and social commentary. My absolute favorite, though, was getting to interview THE Bradley Whitford for my political dramas piece! As you can probably imagine, I almost died because The West Wing is just the greatest TV show on the planet! He was so nice and kind!

(Also, I still have some bylines from 2020 that I haven’t shared on the blog yet, so look for those in January!)

Of course, I would be remiss if I didn’t end this holiday post with a very important reminder:

You might not know because it’s not trending anymore, but the United States has reached 322K deaths from COVID. 322K people have died in just 10 months! This virus isn’t some intangible thing and I’m going to keep repeating this: If you’re still making holiday travel plans, JUST STOP. We’re in the middle of a pandemic. Stop trying to make normal happen…

Here I am at the local university library. It’s one of my favorite haunts, a place I loved going to for the quiet hours of writing and to get lots of work done. I took this photo on March 4th and haven’t been back there since. In fact, I’ve only left my neighborhood twice in the last nine months and those two times were for medical appointments.

We all have places we miss because of the pandemic and it’s OK to feel that sadness sometimes! But what’s not OK is being reckless and dangerous. Wear your damn mask, practice social distancing and for all that is holy, JUST STAY HOME this year!! Please. People keep saying that this pandemic is going to give us a whole new perspective and we’re all going to be changed people.

I’m over here like: Ummm, based on the shenanigans I’m seeing, y’all haven’t learned a damn thing. People being selfish and reckless. People doing whatever they want as if they’re adult toddlers. People not wearing masks.

Seriously, y’all need to GET IT TOGETHER.

Well, there you are…2020. The year that was and wasn’t in so many different ways. I don’t know about you, but I desperately need a long break!! And that’s exactly what I’m going to do! I’ll be taking my annual holiday break, enjoying time with my mom and sister and just generally getting my chill on after this wretched, wretched year. Look for new posts starting on Monday, January 11th, 2021.

Thank you so much for coming along on this journey with me this year, friends!! I’m still so shocked and grateful that people actually read my little old blog and I love you all so much! Go rest, relax and recharge and I’ll see you back here next year! May it be a better year than 2020 was!

Happy holidays — as happy as we can be right now! xoxo

And as always, feel free to connect with me on Pinterest, Twitter, Facebook, Instagram and Bloglovin! See you there!!

Friday, November 20, 2020

Thanksgiving Is Different This Year. And It Should Be.

I had big plans for this week, friends!! I was going to blog every day, send some pitches out and check things off my to-do list right and left. Well, here we are — it’s Friday and this is my first blog post of the week. So you can pretty much guess how I did with those other goals…or, actually, didn’t do. But this week did get me thinking about Thanksgiving and the upcoming holiday season.

This Thanksgiving is going to be different. There’s no denying that, no getting around it, no pretending COVID doesn’t exist, no going on about our lives as if things were normal.

Because our lives? They’re not normal and they haven’t been for months. Nothing is normal. It’s been EIGHT MONTHS since I first wrote about COVID. Doesn’t that seem like a lifetime ago now? Eight months and, honestly, I sometimes feel like nothing has changed, especially when it comes to how people are living. People are brazen at best and unashamed at worst — proudly defying mask wearing and social distancing mandates in the name of their “freedom” while constantly putting others at risk.

I can’t with this nonsense anymore. And when I think about the holiday season, I just get even more afraid. Thanksgiving is less than a week away. There are now 252K people who will never get to spend another holiday — or ANY day — with their loved ones.

The least y’all could do is not be selfish with your holiday gatherings! What I’m seeing right now is a whole bunch of reckless and irresponsible.

Suffice it to say, I’m not looking forward to watching these irresponsible holiday shenanigans unfold on social media; I don’t want to see photos of your raucous family wearing ugly Christmas sweaters and huddled all close together around the tree. I promise, everyone will be OK without your secret-recipe pumpkin pie for one year, Aunt Karen!

If I sound a bit angry, well, it’s because I am. And I’m frustrated beyond belief. I can’t tell you how many times I’ve seen people say “people should be able to decide what they want to do without judgment.”

But here’s the thing: No one is an island. What you do — and the germs you carry — impact other people! We need to start acting like a global community and actually care about the well-being of those around us.

The pandemic isn’t over just because you want life to be “normal” again.

We can still enjoy Thanksgiving this year, though! Create a family meeting on Zoom or do a FaceTime dessert time. Our lives may not be normal right now, but that doesn’t mean we can’t create new, safe traditions and enjoy ourselves!!

Just know that if you’re feeling like you’re running on empty, I see you and I’m right there with you! I’m taking the next week off to rest and recharge and I hope you can take some time for you too!

I’ll be back to regular posting on Monday, November 30th — and I’ve got an exciting collaboration coming up in early December that I’m so excited about.

Please, please stay safe, friends!! Have a lovely, happy, distant Thanksgiving!! xoxo