disabilities in the media Archives - So About What I Said

Wednesday, February 3, 2021

My Essay on HealthyWomen: “Melissa Blake Is Disabled and Proud of It”

My first piece of 2021 came out this week!! I wrote about four disability truths I want you to know for HealthyWomen — a publication I’ve never written for before!! Consider this your perfect primer on disabled people. And that headline says it all: “Melissa Blake Is Disabled and Proud of It”

I’ve written a lot about disability misconceptions before and sometimes, I really wish I didn’t have to in the first place, you know? Half the time, I feel like a broken record because I’m just repeating myself. Over and over and over.

And over.

As you can imagine, it’s just incredibly frustrating because some people still don’t get it. Why, I wonder?? Why don’t they listen to us, the disabled people who — surprise, surprise — know exactly what we’re talking about?? After all, disability is something we live with day in and day out; I mean, we’re the experts here!

Here’s an excerpt of the piece, in which I reveal four truths I wish everyone knew about the disability community…

When I was young, I found myself internalizing a lot of these messages, especially as a teenager. I felt unworthy and constantly compared myself to my non-disabled peers. But as I’ve gotten older, I’ve grown more self-confident in my disabled body. And that new sense of confidence — and, yes, pride! — have helped me become an activist, pushing back against ableism and all those harmful, outdated narratives about what it’s like to live with a disability.
Being disabled is part of my identity and always will be. Speaking up about ableism is one of the greatest joys of my life; my hope for a brighter, less ableist future is the reason I continue to be so visible and vocal, especially on social media — to educate, to stomp out ableism and, yes, to clap back at ignorant internet trolls. Maybe someday, we’ll live in a world where I’m not seen as “other” and “less than.”

Listen to us!! That’s what disabled people need right now. I feel like we’re so often dismissed by society, underestimated by society and just generally left out. But we have a voice and so much ableism could be eliminated if people would just LISTEN to us!

Here’s the thing about me: I’ll never stop speaking out. My voice matters and disabled people demand to be heard, seen and accepted just as we are! Because remember…

“Melissa Blake Is Disabled and Proud of It”

You can read the full piece here and I’d love to hear your thoughts. Feel free to email me anytime at mellow1422@aol.com and let’s chat! And of course, feel free to share my essay on Facebook, Twitter or even your local refrigerator. If you share on Twitter, be sure to tag me @melissablake so I see your tweet and we can connect! I can’t wait to hear from you! Love you all… xoxo

Wednesday, October 7, 2020

My Essay on Refinery29: A Message To TikTok Parents About the New Teacher Challenge

As a freelance writer, it’s always exciting to break into publications I haven’t written for before — and it’s even MORE exciting when editors from those publications reach out to me and offer assignments!! That’s how my first piece for Refinery29 came about and it’s about a topic I wish I didn’t have to write about, but it was so important that I did. Did you hear about the New Teacher Challenge prank that was going around on TikTok at the beginning of the school year?

Well, buckle up, friends!! You’re in for one bumpy ride…

In August, everyone seemed to be participating in the latest viral trend in which people were using photos of disabled people to prank and scare others. I found out that someone was using my photo for this and I was utterly disgusted. I shouldn’t have to tell y’all just how ableist this is, but here we are: Disabled people aren’t here for your mockery, your ridicule or to be the joke. We’re not objects. We’re people.

I’m so glad that I got to write about the New Teacher Challenge prank, but like I said, I wish I never had to in the first place. Seeing this trend is hurtful, but I hope my piece will make people think twice before participating. This whole disgusting prank has only reinforced how important disability representation is. We need to normalize seeing people who don’t look like us. We need to teach the next generation that facial differences should be celebrated, not feared or mocked.

Here’s an excerpt of the piece, in which I don’t mince words about how the New Teacher Challenge prank has made me feel…

Adults who actually think this is okay, and worse…even funny, should know better. There’s absolutely no excuse. They should be the ones teaching their children how harmful and hurtful these pranks are, not laughing in the background as their child recoils at the sight of a disabled person. We live in a society where people who look “different” are seen as ugly and grotesque; those messages start being taught at a young age. Think about how many Disney villains have some sort of deformity.
I want to be clear: I am violated. Every single time. Each photo, taunt, and cruel word is a clear violation of my dignity and my worth as a human being. And every time these platforms fail to take action, they’re sending the message that this bullying is okay. So many disabled people have become inured to our appearance being mocked. That’s not something we should ever have to get used to.

I often wonder when society will finally normalize disabilities. Will it be in my lifetime?

Each time I post a selfie or I share something about my life as a disabled woman, I feel like that is representation that is going to really combat ableism. Because really, it’s 2020 and disabled people shouldn’t have to hide; I think that’s part of the reason I’m so adamant about being so visible and posting so many pictures of myself. It’s my way of combating the trolls and showing them that they’re not going to drive me off social media!

I’ve also been doing lots of press for this piece and it’s been so cool to actually talk about it instead of just write about it. Here are my interviews with NPR, Forbes and CNN.

The Refinery29 designers worked their magic and added those cool colors to this selfie and I’m in LOVE.

Fun fact: This is also the photo trolls use as an example of “ugly,” but I actually felt hot AF when I took this last summer. I was having my moment in NYC

Thanks again for all your love, support and messages this week too!! Y’all are just awesome, so thank you for making the Internet a brighter place!!

Wednesday, June 3, 2020

My Essay on Rooted In Rights: “Facebook Avatars Are Fun…But They’re Definitely Not Disability-Inclusive”

Remember two weeks ago when everyone was posting their Facebook avatars?? When I saw friend after friend sharing their adorable, hip selves in cartoon form, I was naturally curious to see what all the fun and fuss was about. So, I clicked a few buttons, chose a few facial and fashion features and…voila!

The result? My avatar looked nothing like me. For my third piece for Rooted In Rights, I wrote about how the cute avatars fail when it comes to disability inclusion.

Sure, I had the polo shirt and Big Hair Energy, but it was incredibly disappointing to find out that there wasn’t a way to show my disability, though. My wheelchair is a huge part of who I am. In fact, there weren’t any assistive devices, which is pretty ableist and not at all inclusive.

Here’s an excerpt of the piece, in which I make the case for the importance of inclusion and how disability representation matters, even in Facebook avatar form…

Disabled people deserve to be represented just like everyone else. All too often, disability inclusion is an after-thought – things become more inclusive only after disabled people speak up and demand change. It would be great to live in a world where this inclusion is part of the plan from the very beginning.
Facebook Avatars may seem like a small thing, but making them more inclusive will show people with disabilities in a better, more accurate way. We’ve got places to go and things to do and our walkers, canes, and wheelchairs help us get there. Those devices deserve just as much prominence as our hair color or eye color.
I’d wanted to create the best version of myself with my avatar, but as it turns out, that was impossible. Without my wheelchair or any representation of my disability, that redheaded, polo shirt-wearing woman just wasn’t me at all.

AND…thanks to the talents of someone on Twitter, my wheelchair is now included in my Facebook avatar!!! Isn’t it perfect?? I took one look at it and immediately exclaimed, “YESSSSSS, this is me!!!”

You can read the full piece here and I’d love to hear your thoughts. Feel free to email me anytime at mellow1422@aol.com and let’s chat! And of course, feel free to share my essay on Facebook, Twitter or even your local refrigerator. If you share on Twitter, be sure to tag me @melissablake so we can connect! I can’t wait to hear from you! Love you all… xoxo

Wednesday, April 29, 2020

My Articles In Variety: On Diversity and Inclusion In Hollywood

OK, friends, I have a rather embarrassing confession to make, courtesy of a random thought that just popped into my head over the weekend: There is still one published piece that I haven’t shared with you yet. I know, I know…I’m terribly sorry! It’s a pretty big piece, too, which is why it’s so weird that I never posted about it. Anyway, I’m so honored to have two articles in Variety’s special feature on diversity and inclusion in Hollywood. And honestly?? I still can’t believe I got to write them…

Both pieces were in the November 2018 print issue of Variety — you know, the entertainment bible on all things TV and movies; it’s the industry insider for anyone in the entertainment business!! You all know how much I absolutely LOVE writing for print (guess I’m still old-school like that…), but the two pieces are also online and it was fun (and somewhat terrifying at first) to get back to my journalism roots of interviewing and reporting!!

First up, I interviewed Norman Lear about the Media Access Awards, which celebrate depictions of disability in film, television and new media…

After a brief hiatus, producers Deborah Calla and Allen Rucker revived the awards in 2010 and, this year, formed an important partnership with Easterseals.
“The Media Access Awards is the gold standard in celebrating inclusion best practices, and we look forward to being a part of its continued success,” said Easterseals Southern California president and CEO Mark Whitley.
Today the MAA covers new media as well as film and TV, and has backing from the guilds and other industry orgs.
Even in 2018, despite strides made in disability representation, the MAA remains an important event, especially as a vehicle for highlighting a vast pool of talent that isn’t being used enough and to show the importance of inclusion, says Calla.
“We get to see people with disabilities as human beings, and to reflect the world as it is — with all colors of the rainbow,” she says.

You can read the full article here.

And for the second article, I interviewed the founder and participants of the Disability Film Challenge, a yearly event that gives filmmakers with disabilities the the opportunity to tell unique stories that showcase disability in its many forms. You might even remember when I interviewed founder Nic Novicki on this very blog a couple years ago — what a small world!

During the weekend-long event, participants write, shoot and edit three- to five-minute short films based an assigned genre. The filmmakers are not required to include disability in the story, but each team must include at least one person with a disability.
“The films are starting to reach the desks of casting directors, writers and producers,” says Novicki, “which has led to jobs for our participants, including one actress earning a recurring role on the upcoming season of ‘Loudermilk.’ ”
Novicki sees power in the future too — for both the disability community and the industry as a whole.
“Through it all, we’re building lasting, working relationships across the entertainment industry and advancing greater disability inclusion on and off the screen,” he says.

You can read the full article here.

Seeing the issue of disability representation in the spotlight makes my heart sing because diversity and inclusion in Hollywood is SO important! People with disabilities make up 20 percent of the population. We’re living and working and have fought hard for our seat at the table. We’re not going anywhere and there’s comfort and power in knowing so many people are fighting with us!

I’d love to hear your thoughts. Feel free to email me anytime at mellow1422@aol.com and let’s chat! And of course, feel free to share my essay on Facebook, Twitter or even your local refrigerator. If you share on Twitter, be sure to tag me @melissablake so I see your tweet and we can connect! I can’t wait to hear from you! Love you all and here’s to diversity and inclusion in Hollywood… xoxo

Tuesday, December 3, 2019

Four Ways You Can Support Disabled People

Happy International Day of Persons with Disabilities!! Yes, I said happy because we need to be celebrating and supporting the disability community EVERY DAY. The day was officially designated by the United Nations in 1992 as a way to highlight the lives of disabled people. Here are four ways you can do that…

LISTEN TO DISABLED PEOPLE

RESPECT DISABLED PEOPLE

TREAT DISABLED PEOPLE WITH DIGNITY

AMPLIFY DISABLED VOICES

PSA about using the term ‘differently abled’: Please, just don’t. Honestly, as a disabled person, I cringe every time I hear those two words. Saying ‘differently abled’ is condescending. I hate how people dance around the word disabled and think they’re doing us a service by using those euphemisms. It’s insulting and patronizing. Say it with me…

DISABLED ♿️ IS ♿️ NOT ♿️ A ♿️ BAD ♿️ WORD

Plus, you know what I’ve noticed lately, especially when it comes to how the media covers disabilities? People are surprised to find a disabled person who is considered conventionally attractive. Of course, it’s never said outright, but there’s this underlying sense of shock because attractive disabled people? They’re assumed to be the rare unicorn. Like, whoooa…those people exist? The notion that disability = ugly is so ingrained in our culture and it’s one I absolutely HATE. It’s a stereotype I was trying to change with my viral tweet — or at least get people to start thinking about. It’s like when people say “Oh, wow! You’re really attractive for being disabled.” That’s not a compliment — it’s actually incredibly insulting and ableist.

I snapped this photo on the bus recently and I love it because it’s such a good representation of so many things at once — disabilities, accessibility, independence. For people like myself, going shopping or going to work isn’t always as easy as just hopping in the car. I’m so grateful that my town has these accessible buses!! Here’s to independence on my own terms and living a full, fun, fabulous life as a disabled person!! xoxo

P.S. Four more things I want you to know…