Friends, I know the world feels so heavy and scary right now in the midst of the coronavirus and, indeed, I’m planning a blog post on that later this week, but I wanted to write a few more words about Elizabeth Warren because I feel like, especially in light of her ending her campaign, there’s still so much to say…

First, I’m telling my kids that the photo above is what a superhero looks like. Warren’s campaign was a master class in persistence, passion and plans. The fact that she’s ending her campaign doesn’t erase any of that and I’m so excited to see her bring that same fighting spirit to the next chapter!!

In a call with campaign staff, Warren thanked her team for being part of such a history-making bid for the presidency and how the work they started will carry on into the future…

What we have done — and the ideas we have launched into the world, the way we have fought this fight, the relationships we have built — will carry through, carry through for the rest of this election, and the one after that, and the one after that.

We have also shown that it is possible to inspire people with big ideas, possible to call out what’s wrong and to lay out a path to make this country live up to its promise.

We have shown that a woman can stand up, hold her ground, and stay true to herself — no matter what.

We have shown that we can build plans in collaboration with the people who are most affected. You know, just one example: Our disability plan is a model for our country, and, even more importantly, the way we relied on the disability communities to help us get it right will be a more important model.

And still, in the midst of all that Elizabeth Warren accomplished, there’s one thing we must remember: It’s OK to be sad and frustrated right now. We went from a diverse group of presidential candidates to two that just reinforce the tired status quo, so, yes, we’re allowed to be sad about Warren. I’m seeing far too many people saying things like “get over it,” but for women, “it” is about more than the end of a campaign. Seeing her drop out was another reminder about how we view women and it’s exhausting. Honestly, it’s like this headline in The Atlantic proclaims…

America Punished Elizabeth Warren for Her Competence

That’s exactly right, isn’t it? I mean, that firmly and succinctly encapsulates everything that we’ve seen when it comes to powerful, smart and competent women who have “dared” enter the spotlight and challenge the status quo of men being in charge of everything. After all, as revolutionary as Warren’s campaign was, the ending? That, sadly, was incredibly predictable — I mean, we knew how this would end, didn’t we?

I wanted to believe this time would be different. I wanted to believe that change is possible. I wanted to believe that people would FINALLY move beyond this disgusting sexism that has no place in 2020. I wanted to believe. I wanted to believe so much.

It’s impossible and irresponsible to say that sexism and misogyny didn’t play a role in how we saw Elizabeth Warren treated. We must acknowledge it, so here’s a little review…

How to describe Warren: smart, capable, competent

How NOT to describe Warren: mean, nasty, angry, aggressive, emotional, shrill

Just ask yourself: Which set would I use to describe male candidates?

And speaking of male candidates, we need to have a serious conversation about the toxicity of Bernie Bros. The great irony is that they call themselves supporters because all that bullying isn’t going to sway me to vote for him.

They’re hurting his campaign. Full stop.

And the fact that Bernie Sanders himself refuses to further address their ugly behavior is just as troubling as the behavior itself.

If y’all want a peek at the vicious vitriol of the Bernie Bros, all you have to do is look at my mentions over the last week alone. Bullying isn’t a good look and it’s a dangerous strategy for gaining supporters.

In the end, as we all try to move forward, what does all this tell us? Strong women aren’t going anywhere, no matter how much some people wish they would. I hate that we still live in a world where we tell girls that they can be anything…except POTUS. But we need to. And more than telling them, we need to show them that a female president is possible. After all, actions speak louder than words. May we all strive to be a future of action. And lasting change… xoxo

When I woke up yesterday, I felt energized and hopeful. After all, it was Super Tuesday. People all over the country were heading to the voting booth to cast their vote in the Democratic primary and there was a palpable fervor of excitement in the air, especially when it came to Senator Elizabeth Warren. Here was a powerhouse, full of passionate ideas and plans to put those ideas into action.

I thought, “Finally, we just might be coming out on the other side of the disastrous election that was 2016” — you know, the one that haunts us on the regular.

Well, I guess I spoke too soon because I woke up today to the results of Super Tuesday and, friends, things most definitely did not turn out how I (and so many others) had hoped. As you can imagine, then, I woke up this morning feeling defeated and angry and frustrated. And, perhaps most of all, like nothing has changed.

Translation: Today we learned (again!) that America really, really hates smart, capable women. Apparently, the worst thing you can be in 2020 is a smart women. I’d just like to ask America one question…

Why do you hate strong women so much?

The only thing that won last night was the patriarchy and misogyny. Again. The two things that have no place in our society keep getting top billing and, well, I just don’t understand it. I never will, either.

For the majority of the presidential campaign season, we’ve seen much discussion surrounding this notion of electability — who’s got it, who doesn’t and who needs more of it to win.

But here’s the thing: Much of that discussion has been squarely reserved for the female candidates in the race. And now, with Amy Klobuchar ending her campaign, all talk of electability is aimed at Elizabeth Warren.

This notion of electability is such a trap, isn’t it? Female candidates like Warren are held to these unrealistically high standards — standards that we don’t hold male candidates to — hi, Bernie and Joe.

Plus, don’t even get me started on Bernie Bros. Of course, in the lead up to Super Tuesday, their vitriol about electability only intensified. Especially online.

Let’s take Bernie, for example…

He ran in 2016 and DIDN’T WIN
He had a HEART ATTACK just months ago

If Warren had just had a heart attack, people would be imploring her to drop out. And yet, people aren’t questioning Bernie’s electability. So all this talk about how she isn’t electable? Let’s call it out for the sexism that it is. It’s code for “not as competent as a man.” It’s code for “only men can be president.” It’s code for everything that candidates like Elizabeth Warren (and Hillary Clinton before her) have been fighting an uphill battle against for so long.

As a woman, I’m tired and I keep asking myself: When? If not now, when? It’s time for a woman president. We need a woman president…

Call it identity politics if you want. I call it voting in line with my interests as a woman and I’m pretty sure another old white man will never understand the issues women face.

Elizabeth Warren does. We need Warren.

I swear, if one more Bernie Bro tells me that Elizabeth Warren can’t win and I should give my vote to Bernie. But guess what? Bernie — or any male candidate — isn’t entitled to my vote. This idea that a woman should just step aside and make space for a man is peak male entitlement. It’s the same type of rhetoric we heard in 2016 and a woman went on to win the popular vote.

I wasn’t here for this in 2016 and I’m not here for this in 2020. How much longer are we going to let history repeat itself?

So, yes, you can call her poor performance “just politics” if you want. I call it misogyny. And I’m really not here for the mansplaining I’ve seen today, y’all. Also, not any other day, for that matter.

My writer friend and editor Heather Wood Rudulph wrote a great piece on electability that gets right to the heart of the matter. As she writes…

Who has performed better under pressure and media-prescribed “ruin” than Elizabeth Warren? No one. Who has displayed more moxy and intellectual furor when faced with a belligerent white, male opponent whose last name starts with B? No one. Who has failed to cower even once, and has been able to articulate her many good ideas over and over again, admitting which ones still need work? Her. Who has ACTUALLY apologized for past mistakes or ignorance rather than excused them away like every other candidate? Her. Who calls her supporters, has the best one-liners on any debate stage, and befriends Jonathan Van Ness? Elizabeth Warren!

Reminder: She’s electable if you VOTE FOR HER.

In the end, what happened on Super Tuesday is about so much more than just the here and now in 2020. Unfortunately, something tells me that we’ll be feeling the ripples for years to come. And it’s the next generation that’s going to be particularly affected. Young girls deserve to see strong women in leadership — and especially in the highest office in the land. They need those role models. Elizabeth Warren is a wonderful role model. It’s a shame that so many people didn’t feel the same way…

P.S. My op-ed in The Independent about Elizabeth Warren on The View…

Nancy Pelosi is a NATIONAL TREASURE.

I’m probably going to end up saying (well, more like blogging) this over and over in 2020, but you know what?? I’m not sorry…

Unsurprisingly, this month’s State of the Union speech was a disastrous trainwreck full of fake news and resembling some sort of scary Handmaid’s Tale alternate universe. I was pretty much yelling at my TV the entire time and I don’t even want to know just how high my blood pressure got. It. Was. Bad. And. Dangerous.

Just when I was about to turn off the TV in utter disgust, a grand finale moment of sorts occurred. It was the crowning moment — and my favorite moment — in two hours that felt like an eternity. By now, you probably know exactly which moment I’m talking about. Nancy Pelosi ripping up that nonsense of a speech is the brilliantly defiant mood I’m here for! It was a true act of patriotic defiance that we’ve all been craving and desperately needing.

In fact, it was my absolute favorite part of the entire night; actually, it’s really the only thing I remember from that whole speech and I suspect it’s the only thing most people remember about that night too. And, well, apparently, that made some people very, very upset because social media was flooded the next day with people decrying “classless!” and “disrespectful” when talking about Pelosi’s actions.

Yes, people were really out there angry about her ripping up a PIECE OF PAPER while the “president” mocks the disabled, demeans women, puts children in cages, takes away health care and rips apart the fabric of this country EVERY DAY. Yes, the hypocrisy is rich here.

The ongoing sexist double standard became even more glaring the day after the speech, when Senators voted to acquit the “president.” Here’s what we learned: Men are found not guilty while women are always on trial. Women are consistently held to a higher standard than men and don’t have the luxury of being defiant or outspoken in the same way men are. If we are, we’re labeled nasty and classless. We can’t win.

That paradigm runs so deep, doesn’t it? Women are taught to be nice and polite at all costs, no matter how harmful it is to them. We tell women to smile more, stop being so emotional and get over it. It’s all exhausting. Needless to say, that one week provided such an interesting juxtaposition when you compare Trump’s acquittal and the anger over Nancy Pelosi. It put so many things in sharp focus.

You know, seeing her rip up that speech almost made me wish I still had the emails that a certain mansplaining jerk once sent me — it would just feel so satisfying to just rip it up with the same level of defiance demonstrated by Nancy Pelosi.

I’ve also been thinking about that quote from historian Laurel Thatcher Ulrich: “Well-behaved women seldom make history.” It’s so true!! It’s the rule-breakers and those who dare to buck convention and challenge the status quo who ultimately make history. Here’s to all the strong, badass, status-quo shaking, glass-ceiling shattering, rule-changing women who refuse to be quiet

OK, so I’ve wanted to pitch op-eds recently about Nancy Pelosi and AOC, but, you know, time just didn’t want to be on my side for some reason — well, the usual reasons. Then I had a brilliant writer idea: Why not just write one HUGE, super-duper op-ed on the blog?

And that, friends, is how we got here, to this very post.

First, we need to talk about “the president” and his bullying tweets to Nancy Pelosi last week. Not only is this taunting disgusting, but it’s yet another example of how society views strong women who speak their minds. We call them “unhinged” and “hysterical.” When a man does it, though, we say he’s a “leader” and “passionate.”

I look at this photo and all I see is Nancy Pelosi holding her own in a room full of men who want her to “be quiet.” And the fact that she made this her cover photo on Twitter just makes her even more badass, don’t you think??

If that incident wasn’t bad enough, not even two weeks before, the headlines practically screamed these words (I’m paraphrasing here, obviously)…

OMG, have you heard the scandalous news? AOC…got…a…haircut.

I’ve been rolling my eyes so hard over this for weeks. The criticism is absurd and just another example of the catch-22 mixed messages women face every day. Women are expected to meet these unrealistic beauty standards. Things usually go something like this…

If they DON’T meet them, they’re criticized.

If they DO meet then, they’re criticized.

Either way, women can’t win. Plus, we don’t usually see the same criticism when it comes to men and how much money they spend on haircuts or clothes or…well, virtually anything!

I mean, these mixed messages don’t just happen. We start teaching young girls that these are the values that matter, that these are the things expected of them, from a very, very young age.

Society to young women: You can be anything you want to be…

Also society: But, don’t forget to be likeable…

Why do we send young women these mixed messages?? Instead, how about we flip the script completely? How about we start saying things like this…

Girls can be tough and fierce and outspoken.

Girls can be gentle and chill and soft-spoken.

There’s no “right way” to be a girl. The greatest gift we can give them is to just let them BE. Today and always. 

Why do we insist that women be likable as if it’s some Holy Trait?? I’m pretty sure Nancy Pelosi is more concerned with doing what’s best for the country than making sure people like her. And AOC was just going about living her life and getting a haircut. This isn’t some high school popularity contest. And yet, it always seems like women are losing no matter what they say or do. What is it with these never-ending and toxic double standards. And when will they end? What if they never do?

As for me? I recently got a haircut too!! Short hair, I soooo care! Feeling like a new woman — and literally like a weight has been lifted off my shoulders! Now the only thing that’s wild and unruly is my personality.

And, YES, I got a haircut. Don’t come for me…

What are your thoughts, friends? What sorts of toxic double standards have you just had enough of lately? Feel free to vent in the comments… xoxo