Love Lounge: Any Man of Mine…

Love Lounge: Any Man of MineSo, this originally started out as a simple Facebook post last night — you know, one of those little missives you send off right before your eyes fall asleep and you don’t really know if it’s actually good or if you’re just delirious from the haze of sleep. What? That’s just me…oh, come on, that can’t be the case! Anyway, the more I thought about it, though, the more I realized that this topic deserves a wide audience! When I heard Shania Twain’s Any Man of Mine last week, something clicked. It was that sort of soul-deep clicking that seems to shed a light on everything you’ve been feeling lately…

In light of so many disgusting things I’ve heard said in the last couple weeks, I feel like we need to get a #AnyManOfMine hashtag going. You know, as a little public service education — not that it will change some people, sadly, but the fight is still worth it.

I’ll start! #AnyManOfMine is…

*Kind
*RESPECTS women
*Funny
*A good listener
*NOT intimidated by my disability
*Family oriented
*Sensitive
*NOT intimidated by strong women
*Compassionate/caring

OK, now it’s your turn, friends!!! What would you add to this list? Let me know in the comments and on Twitter by using hashtag #AnyManOfMine and tag me @melissablake so I see it!!! Love you all… xoxo

[Photo via We Heart It]

Love Lounge: The Games People Play

love lounge the games people playI love games — love to play them, talk about them, even morph into a cutthroat competitor in my quest to own Boardwalk and Park Place in a certain real estate game. Plus, I’ve always been one of those people who can NEVER turn down an invitation to play a game. This includes board games, cards games, old-school Nintendo video games.

But there are games that I’ll never be up to playing. Ever. Just what sorts of games are those, you’re wondering? I’m talking about those confusing games when it comes to love — you know, the kind that feel like people are playing hacky sack with your heart. Big FYI, though, your heart is most definitely NOT a ball to be flung around in every direction.

Truth is, I’m over those games. Have you ever noticed how some classic games just seem to be metaphors for the games people play? Don’t believe me? Well, take a gander at these 5 standout contenders…

Scrabble: I love words. Words can be incredibly sexy…when used the right way. But if you’re just throwing words out there just to confuse people or show off how smart you are, that sexiness wears off fast. Really fast, actually. So, please, say what you mean and mean what you say. Everything will just go a whole lot easier, trust me.

Merry-go-round: This isn’t so much a game as it is a ride, but I think the same rules still apply. It’s like you’re going around and around with someone — in the same direction, doing the same dance day after day. You’re not getting anywhere, and, frankly, it’s just getting downright frustrating because it seems like this endless cycle WILL NEVER END! You might think you’re starting to make progress and then…Oh, look! It’s the 5245th time you’ve passed that same tree with the wilting leaves. Leaves that are just as wilted as your heart.

Trouble: I suppose this one is pretty self-explanatory, right? Things might be going alone fine and then BAM — it’s like you’ve stepped on some sort of land mine and are now just waiting for the smoke to clear. Not a fun spot to be in, that’s for sure.

Pictionary: This one is sort of akin to that other great pastime — The Art of Deciphering That Text. What in the heck is that drawing supposed to be? What does it even mean? I mean, I’m no great artist or anything, but there has to be a better way of figuring all this out!

Clue: Ahhh, the original Catfish, perhaps? People aren’t always who they say they are and it’s up to you to figure it out before it’s too late. Granted, I don’t think it’ll get as bad as you being murdered in the conservatory with the lead pipe, but you might get your heart metaphorically sliced in your driveway by someone’s cutting and unkind words. It’s a jungle out there, I tell you!

love lounge the games people playWhew! I don’t know about you, friends, but I’m exhausted now! What do you think of this list? What other ‘games’ would you add? I’d love to hear your thoughts in the comments! xoxo

Tuesday Tunes: Nat King Cole’s “When I Fall In Love”

Editor’s Note: Song lyrics denoted in bold italics.

For our first Tuesday Tunes in nearly a month, you know that I just had to bust out one of my favorite love ballads of all time; I mean, it wouldn’t be my blog without it, right? Of course not!

Anyway, my mom has been listening to a lot of the Norah Jones station on Pandora lately and they’ve been playing SO MANY of these American standard classics — think the music of the ’40s and the Big Band/jazz era. It’s the music of my grandparents’ generation, during a time when life was much simpler and singers of the day sang of ideals, dreams and hopes for the future, and you can’t help but get wrapped up in the words and melodies.

That’s sort of how it was the first time I heard this song. Like most of my favorite songs, it wasn’t some fancy melody or crazy vocal acrobatics that made me stop and go, “OK, I need to stop everything I’m doing and listen to this AMAZING song right now!” It had nothing to do with those things. On the contrary, actually — I was drawn to the words. The sweet, romantic words. It stood out like a beacon of hope — a tall lighthouse shining in the distance when you’re surrounded by miles and miles of ocean…

Nat King Cole’s “When I Fall In Love”
From Love Is the Thing

The thing about this song? Never in my life have I heard such pure, honest words. I mean, that’s a pretty rare thing, isn’t it? Words and conversations are so often loaded with hidden meanings and open to a number of interpretations. It’s quite refreshing to come across words that can be taken at face value — you don’t have to constantly wonder what exactly it means.

Plus, the words are simple. They’re not dressed up in flowery language; they get right to the point, which is something I can really appreciate!

When I fall in love it will be forever
Or I’ll never fall in love
In a restless world like this is
Love is ended before it’s begun
And too many moonlight kisses
Seem to cool in the warmth of the sun

I feel like this sentiment is one of the running themes in all the Letters To My Future Husband — this idea of not compromising, of not settling, of not selling yourself short when it comes to love. And especially when it comes to marriage and the person you want to spend the rest of your life with. That can be a scary prospect, can’t it? The idea that soulmates could actually exist and it’s up to us to know when we’ve found ours.

When I give my heart it will be completely
Or I’ll never give my heart
And the moment I can feel that you feel that way too
Is when I fall in love with you

And yet, it can also be a pretty empowering feeling. It’s so easy to feel like everything about love is out of our control and we’re just hopeless romantic saps (or wait, maybe that’s just me?), so maybe we become lazy and complacent, but this song made me realize something pretty amazing: We’re in control of our love destiny.

So I’m going to be all in or not at all. It’s going to be one of the other — or, really, where’s the point at all? I don’t see the point of doing something only a little bit or being “ehh” about something as important and cosmic as love.

aaTranslation: With me, that’s how it’s going to be. As the old saying goes, “go big or go home.” Yes, that’s going to be my new life and love philosophy. Maybe you feel that way too, friends! What do you think? Can you ever really do love “halfheartedly” and actually have things work out in the long-run? I’m really curious to hear your thoughts! xoxo

Love Lounge: On NOT Chasing…

What’s the deal with our preoccupation with the whole ‘chasing’ phenomenon when it comes to relationships and being with someone? It’s almost become one of those pop culture tropes these days, and movies and TV shows love to pull this rabbit out of a hat all the time. We’ve seen it enough times to know the general gist: Two people meet, they obviously have some sort of electric connection, but tragically, time or circumstances rip them apart. Maybe one person got scared or feared commitment. Whatever the reason, one person high-tails it out of that situation, only to have the other person chase after them relentlessly in this weird sort of cat-and-mouse game.

It all goes on for awhile, and before you know it, everything just becomes…so…boring.

There. I said it. Everything just morphs into this back-and-forth state of bland, boring nothingness, if you know what I mean.

And don’t even get me started on the double standard of the whole situation. Have you ever noticed how we’re much quicker to react positively when the guy is the one doing the chasing? We think it’s valiant and romantic and all knight in shining armor-y. Here’s a guy going after the woman he loves, right? But if the woman is the one partaking in a passionate pursuit? Well, she’s just clingy and desperate, isn’t she? I mean, it’s practically on par with Fatal Attraction here.

So maybe that’s why I’m such a HUGE fan of the above quote. I stumbled across it floating around the Interwebs and think it speaks to so much self-empowerment and courage. Because this whole idea of having to chase someone is just really a giant smokescreen that ultimately means a whole bunch of nothing. Call me bitter or disillusioned, but I’m not really seeing the appeal of The Chase anymore. Why should someone have to chase you in order to be with you? If they’re truly worth it, I don’t see the point in going through that whole tired song and dance. It’s just played and worn out.

I’m not going anywhere. I’m staying right where I am. If you ask me, that’s the most romantic thing of all.


What are your thoughts on The Chase, friends?? Is it useless? A sign of immaturity?? A wonderful way to make a sweeping romantic gesture?? Let’s chat, shall we??? xoxo

P.S. Are you addicted to the chase?

[Photo via We Heart It]

Love Lounge: Thoughts on Broken Hearts

I know I must sound like a broken record about this subject, always prattling on and on about it, but I feel the need to vent about it today. I’ve just had all these questions swirling in my head lately, and frankly, they’re starting to over stay their welcome. It’s not the type of questions like, “What do I want in a relationship?” or “Why is he being so stupid?” I know the answers to those questions. My real, soul-searching question…

Can your heart break when it’s never even been broken in the first place?

I know, it sounds like some cheesy country ballad, but just hear me out for a hot second. I want love. I want that passion that comes with finding The One and even though I haven’t found said One yet, my heart still feels broken sometimes. Does that make any kind of sense? Is it some kind of preemptive strike, a way of shielding my own heart from letting anyone else reach it or even get close to it?

If I’m being honest (and let’s face it, when am I NOT honest on this blog??), guys have succeeded in breaking my heart in the past, even if they weren’t aware of it. There have been guys who have found their way into my heart and pretty much just took up residence there. To their credit, I’m pretty sure all of this was in no way intentional; heck, they probably had no idea that they were having such an effect on me, but alas, the emotions were intense. They ran rampant. On my end, at least. And yet, there was really no justifiable reason to feel like my heart was shattering into a million tiny shards of glass — what had these guys even done to me? Nothing, really. I’m the one who got attached, probably too attached, too soon, and I was probably thinking with my heart more than with my head — you all know that I have a tendency to do that on occasion.

From the outside, it looks like my heart is full and perfectly intact, and on most days, it is. But there are certainly other days when that protective shield isn’t so, well, shield-y. It’s on days like this that the “flaws” begin to peek through. Because in my heart — and probably in everyone’s heart, for that matter? There are cracks. There are scars. And there are bruises that may never heal, no matter how much time has passed. Maybe every beat of my heart has a story to tell, a past that made it what it is today. Does that make any sort of sense?

I suppose it doesn’t help that I’m listening to Sheriff’s “When I’m With You” on repeat as I type this — seriously, I can feel the beginnings of little teardrops forming in my eyes. Must. Not. Cry.

That’s what I tell myself, at least, about the whole crying thing. It works well some days and not-so-well on other days. It’s a work-in-progress, though, and I’m sure that has to count for something…right?

So, friends, where do you fall on this issue? Can your heart break even when it feels invisible to those around you? Has this ever happened to you? How did you deal with it? Can we commiserate together, please?? xoxo

[Photos via We Heart It]