Have There Always Been So Many Entitled Dude Bros on The Bachelorette?

BacheloretteDear Lord: Please give me the confidence of an entitled dude bro contestant on The Bachelorette who is so sure on the first night that they’re going to walk away with the final rose…

That was my first thought as I binged Hannah Brown’s season of The Bachelorette. My very first thought, actually. As you may remember, I’m one of those rare species that had never tuned in to see the wonders of Bachelor Nation in action. For more than a decade, I was able to resist the siren song of soapy-sudsy TV dating on steroids. And then earlier this year, I watched The Bachelor for the first time because I wanted to see how they handled Colton Underwood’s virginity because, uh, hi, I can relate! And, well, wow! Was I sure in for a lot!

Surprisingly, I find myself more angry and disgusted at The Bachelorette contestants so much more than I ever was at The Bachelor contests. Not Hannah, mind you, because she’s a downright national treasure in her awesomeness. Throughout the whole season, my rage was aimed directly at the 20+ males vying for her affections. Like, all the rage. We’re talking yelling-at-my-television-like-it-was-a-football-game rage.

BacheloretteFor example, I spent one Friday afternoon eating barbecue chips and talking back to the television during one of Luke P’s many mantrums. When he asked if he could interrupt Hannah during one of their pivotal dinners, I screamed, mid-chip chomping, “No, you can’t, Luke!”

It was all just too much. And all the while, I wondered: Would I have this much anger if I’d watched the series from the beginning? Am I watching all this through the lens of our current cultural climate, where men behave very badly? What was my deal?

Maybe our current national climate is impacting my ability to enjoy reality television. Maybe our reality is so bad that even a mindless reality show like The Bachelorette is rage-inducing. Why can’t I escape these entitled dude bros, I ask you? Is nothing, especially reality TV, not even sacred anymore?

And then, when I watched the finale, I thought I might have a heart attack from all the rage! Wow. Jed is that guy who refuses to define the relationship with someone while out there doing very couple-y things like going to the Bahamas. I. Can’t. Even.

Hannah deserved so much better!! She’s definitely my new hero, as are all women the world over who have to deal with these sorts of shenanigans on the regular; maybe that’s the one upside for me of never having any experience with this love stuff.

BacheloretteI’ll tell you this: If, in some far-off future, I ever did find myself as the next Bachelorette, sitting there, watching all those men pile out of the limo a la clowns in a clown car, just know that I won’t stand for any of that nonsense — well, metaphorically stand because, you know, I’d actually be sitting in my wheelchair. Here are three reasons why I’d make a good Bachelorette, in case you’re wondering.

I say it’s time to change things up in Bachelor Nation, wouldn’t you, friends??? Please tell me you watch this show because I’ve only seen two seasons and although it makes me rage at times, I have no shame in admitting that I’m completely, utterly HOOKED… xoxo

Taylor Swift Re-Recording Her Albums Sends a Powerful Message

Taylor SwiftTaylor Swift taking back her power by re-recording her albums is my 2019 mood.

That was my first thought when I heard the news that Taylor Swift is planning to re-record her first five albums. The decision comes after the singer’s music catalog was bought by Scooter Braun in a $300 million deal between his Ithaca Holdings and Big Machine Label Group. Following the sale of her music, Swift took to her Tumblr and shared these powerful words…

“I learned about Scooter Braun’s purchase of my masters as it was announced to the world. All I could think about was the incessant, manipulative bullying I’ve received at his hands for years…Any time Scott Borchetta has heard the words ‘Scooter Braun’ escape my lips, it was when I was either crying or trying not to. He knew what he was doing; they both did. Controlling a woman who didn’t want to be associated with them. In perpetuity. That means forever.”

Like so many women, I was disgusted by the sale of her music catalog, especially in light of the fact that Braun has a history of bullying and manipulating the “Lover” singer-songwriter. Yes, artists have their work bought and sold all the time. That’s nothing new. But this sale didn’t feel like a business decision at all; it felt incredibly vindictive.

Taylor SwiftIt was yet another reminder that men in 2019 still think they can control women — everything from our bodies to our livelihoods. We’ve seen men using and abusing their power over and over. They use it as a way to undermine women, as a way to assert their dominance and make women feel “less than.”

That’s why Swift’s decision to re-record her music made me want to cheer “YES.” Why? Because it wasn’t just about her being able to own a version of her songs again or make money off her early work. This was about making a statement about women and power. It’s a statement that I heard loud and clear too: Women aren’t going to be controlled. What happened to Taylor happens to women every day; women speaking out and standing up for themselves and men trying to exert power and control. I’ll have none of it. None. Of. It.

Taylor SwiftPlus, who can forget Justin Bieber’s response? The singer posted a really mansplaining, non-apology apology Instagram post in which he basically scolded her for writing her blog post about the situation. He questioned her, insulted her…and then ended with “but we love you!” NO. What’s up with men who gaslight women? Why are men constantly trying to silence women?

The same thing happened to me this summer when a man tried to make me “rethink” a blog post — coincidentally, it was this post. What happened to Taylor happens to women every day; women speaking out and standing up for themselves and men trying to exert power and control. I’ll have none of it. None. Of. It.

Writer Danielle Campoamor summed it up perfectly in her recent CNN Opinion op-ed…

“As women, we’re to blame. We’re too aggressive. We just want attention. We don’t love ourselves enough. We’re manipulative. We’re not his type. We’re too much. We’re dramatic. We’re feuding.

And, like Swift, far too many of us are watching what we’ve worked so hard for fall into the hands of men who seek to control us, whether it be via our legacies, our reputations, our bodies, or our success.”

Yes, indeed. Women are taking back their own power and I’m here for it. All. Of. It. Are you with me, friends? What are your thoughts on Taylor Swift taking back her power?? I’d love to hear them!! xoxo

Family Photos: Meet Me At the Fair

Fair FairIt never fails: Every year around September, with autumn closing in, I get Fair Fever — a term that I coined just now, actually! Being from the Midwest, you’d think that I would have grown up going to the fair every single year and while I did go to my fair share (pun intended…) of corn festivals in my hometown, I don’t remember going to many big-time fairs.

Nothing as big and grand as a classic Midwest fair in the early fall, at least. And then two years ago, my mom and I ventured to the Sandwich Fair, and, in a word (well, five words): It felt like coming home! It was beautiful and magical and everything that you think of when you picture the Heartland. From that first experience, I was hooked!

So this year, Janelle got to go with us, and we had quite the time, friends!! We decided to go on a weeknight when it wouldn’t be so crowded, so we picked my mom up right after school and made a beeline down the country road to fun. The weather was perfect — warm and sunny — and we could just feel the excitement as we pulled up onto the grassy knoll to park our car.

We had such a fun afternoon!! Here’s the photographic proof because you know I took a TON of photos…

Fair Fair Fair FairWe saw the cutest animals and they really responded to my mom. I think it’s because she has such a calming presence… 🐄🐏🐑🐖

Fair FairDelicious food! Shout-out to my middle school counselor, whose church ran an amazing food stand!! Thanks, Mrs. Curran!! 🍔🍟

And, OMG, I tried elephant ears for the first time!! How have I gone 38 years without tasting this delicious slice of heaven?!?!? 🐘🐘

Vintage farm equipment! How cool are all those colors? 🚜🚜

And of course, I had my two favorite people to share the experience with!! In what has become a family tradition, I made sure to snap a photo of her ankles since she hates being in photos!

I also made sure to wear my festive corn shirt because I’m the most Midwestern person to ever Midwest. After all, I am a down-home Carrie Bradshaw. Yes, the Heartland is my home!! Forever and ever and ever!

How cute was Ms. Bear too?? I’ll be doing a post soon on her pose behind the fern because that’s become her classic pose — she likes to pose behind things!!! Too cute, right?!?!?

As they sang in “Meet Me in St. Louis” (one of my faves!): “Meet me at the fair!” Did you go to any fairs this year?? Do you get wrapped up in all the fanfare of food, fun and merriment?? It’s all overwhelming in the best way possible, if you ask me!! xoxo 🎡🎡🎡

 

So About What I Said…In My Very First Viral Tweet

So About What I Said So About What I SaidAs I’ve been fond of saying lately, “That was a time!” And by that, in this case, I’m referring to just the last 48 hours alone!! But first, hello to new readers of So About What I Said…

It seems one of my tweets has gone VIRAL. We’re talking about the good kind of viral here, not the kind of germs that invade your body and leave you laid up in bed for days or weeks — I should know since I’ve had those sorts of body invaders before and it’s NOT FUN, let me tell you!

Anyway, first, here is the tweet that’s getting quite a bit of attention, in which I say this: “During the last round of trollgate, people said that I should be banned from posting photos of myself because I’m too ugly. So I’d just like to commemorate the occasion with these 3 selfies.”

So About What I SaidThat tweet stemmed from — you guessed it! — a run-in with some hateful trolls last month. I was pretty shocked and stunned at the time, though I know I shouldn’t be because this is America in 2019. Some conservative YouTuber mentioned my CNN op-ed about why we should all unfollow Trump and I made the mistake of reading the comments. In addition to being a “so-called journalist,” I’m fat, ugly and look like a blob fish, a parade balloon and a potato with a face.

The dig at my journalism credentials doesn’t bother me, but you know what?? I’m getting so tired of people (read: men) thinking it’s OK to insult a woman’s appearance. Yes, my disability makes me look different. Trust me, I know that. I’ve known that my entire life.

And people wonder why I’ve struggled so much with self-acceptance when it comes to how I look and our society’s notion of what “beautiful” is. It’s because of comments like these — comments that dismiss me and deem me unworthy.

This is just one more example of the type of ableism that people with disabilities face every day and it’s something I’m constantly trying to change. It’s the reason I wrote that Glamour essay earlier this year. And it’s the reason I posted those selfies; it was my way of telling the trolls that they’re not going to get the best of me. If they knew anything about me, then they’d know that the second they tell me not to do something is the second I’m going to do exactly that!

But enough about those trolls! I’m so glad that my viral tweet has led you here and I thank you for stopping by! I’m a freelance writer covering relationships, disabilities and pop culture. You can subscribe to my blog if you’re so inclined — sign-up is on the right-hand side! And here’s more about me as well as some of my clips — and, yes, I know my clips section is in woeful need of an update! It’s been on my to-do list forever!

So About What I Said So! Whoa! Wow! Just two days ago, I had 7,500 followers. Now, I’ve got 37,000 and my tweet has been retweeted more than ONE HUNDRED THOUSAND times!!

Thank you again, friends!!!! I’m completely speechless, which is rare for me!! And thank you so much for reading So About What I Said… xoxo

Why Shawn Mendes and Camila Cabello Are the Couple We Need Right Now

Camila Cabello Camila Cabello Camila CabelloIt’s been a summer full of not-so-happy news (hi, Trump), which has left so many of us feeling like the world is about to crumble. But there’s been one shining glimmer of hope getting me through and their names are Shawn Mendes and Camila Cabello.

Yes, this is the couple the world needs now!! And, yes, I’m such a giddy teenager at the possibility that these two crazy kids might actually be a couple!! I ship these two so hard, as the young people say!

First, we need to talk about their Señorita music video for a hot minute. Emphasis on the hot, obviously, because my glasses kept fogging up from all that steam!!! The passion! The fire! The intensity! I dare you to watch that video and not almost have a heart attack.

It was all too much to handle.

If I wasn’t convinced by their passionate on-screen chemistry, then their steamy duet of the tune during the MTV Video Music Awards certainly put me over the edge!! It was that same passion and fire and intensity come to life on the stage, in real time, only magnified and amped up one million billion degrees! Honestly, it was love on steroids and I’m so here for that, obviously! Am I the only one who thinks that Shawn and Camila just told the world “Yes, we’re dating” on the VMAs stage??

Trust me, I’m as shocked as you are about my unexpected fascination with pop’s new It couple. I came of age in the late ‘90s when two doe-eyed teens named Britney and Justin were pop’s reigning power couple; the world followed their every move, even down to those classic matching denim outfits! We were all transfixed watching young love blossom right before our very eyes and I’m pretty sure I wasn’t the only one who shed a tear when they called it quits.

So maybe there’s a hint of nostalgia here when it comes to Shawn and Camila? I may be 38, but these two are still #RelationshipGoals!! They give me hope that love is possible — that it can be fun and exciting and real. Yes, I said real because unlike the cynical people of the world, I refuse to believe that theirs is some manufactured PR relationship just to boost record sales. You will never be able to convince me that their love is anything but pure and sweet and REAL.

And speaking of real, there’s one thing that’s bothered me as I’ve followed their relationship: I’m seeing so many people saying “Shawn Mendes can’t possibly be in a relationship with Camila Cabello because he’s gay.” As if you can’t be both. FYI, it’s 2019…why are we still saying things like this?? It doesn’t have to be one or the other! Sexuality can be fluid. Relationships aren’t black or white and they can exist in every color of the rainbow. You love who you love.

Camila Cabello Indeed, I’m rooting for Shawn and Camila to be the next great love story for the ages and I will sit here and firmly wave my Team Shawmila flag until the end of time! Maybe the love gods are listening and will hear my plea: The world is a mess and we could really use some happiness in the form of Shawn Mendes and Camila Cabello together.

What’s your verdict, friends? Are you a fan of these two? I mean, you can’t deny how deliciously catchy their songs are, can you? Plus, even the iconic Vogue is weighing in on the are-they-or-aren’t-they debate, asking the very important question: “Are Shawn Mendes and Camila Cabello the Couple of Summer?” We may never know, but at the very least, watching their relationship unfold has made this old Millennial very, very, very happy! xoxo