inspiring women Archives - So About What I Said

Wednesday, July 24, 2019

My Essay on The Independent: “If You Think Beto Is ‘Born to Do It’ and Kamala Is a ‘Great VP for Joe’, You Need to Change Your Attitude…”

Freelance writer confession: I have this habit of sending pitches at night. Late at night. Like, really late at night — we’re talking well after midnight here. If I get an idea (or if there’s a timely op-ed that I just need to write about), then you can usually find me curled up in my bed, dashing off pitches, the bright light of my iPhone guiding me ever onward. That’s exactly how this piece for The Independent came to fruition. The subjects of the piece? Beto O’Rourke and Kamala Harris…

I got to write about the differences in media coverage between male and female candidates in the 2020 election. Why do we continue to insist that women politicians must be likeable above all else while not holding men to those same standards? It frustrates me to no end, especially when it comes to Beto O’Rourke and Kamala Harris.

Frankly, there are too many sexist assumptions to count when it comes to the upcoming election. Too. Many. To. Count. Honestly, if I think about it too much, my head starts to hurt and I become, umm, one big ball of rage!

Here’s an excerpt of the piece, in which I question some of the messages we’re sending when we cover male and female candidates so differently and how female candidates seem to be up against something far more sinister than politics itself: the relatability factor…

When women are used merely to bolster a man’s ticket or ignored entirely when a man hits the stage, there is no progress. After rumors abounded this week about the possibility of Biden “balancing his ticket” with Harris, I was glad to see her tell voters in New Hampshire that her male counterpart “would be a great running-mate. As vice president, he’s shown he can do the job.” I hope the sentiment goes beyond a soundbite.
That future just might be the one where women can come out ahead. Let’s hope America is listening.

You can read the full piece here and I’d love to hear your thoughts. Feel free to email me anytime at mellow1422@aol.com and let’s chat! And of course, feel free to share my essay on Facebook, Twitter or even your local refrigerator. If you share on Twitter, be sure to tag me @melissablake so we can connect! I can’t wait to hear from you! Love you all… xoxo

Tuesday, July 23, 2019

My Essay on The Independent: “AOC and Maxine Waters Took a Stand Against Mansplaining…”

You know what, friends?? I’ve realized something about all the op-eds that I’ve been writing for the last six months: Most of them are about some dangerous aspect of the patriarchy and its treatment of women. Take this op-ed about AOC and Maxine Waters pushing back against mansplainers in Congress.

Here’s how my days typically go when I’m on deadline for a timely op-ed: I get the acceptance in the morning, turn in the piece at 1 p.m. and see it publish around 3:30 p.m.! This is my first for The Independent (yes, I know I didn’t share my pieces for The Independent in chronological order), but definitely not my first time taking men to task for their mansplaining…

Isn’t what happened to AOC and Maxine Waters all too familiar?? I mean, it’s becoming a broken record at this point, and women are sick of it! Their exchanges with men mirror, on a national level, what women all across the country have experienced. In all occupations, not just politics, and in seemingly every area of life.

We’re tired. It’s amazing (and frustrating) the number of times men have swooped in on Facebook or Twitter to try and “explain” something to me, only to act incredibly insulted when I pushed back.

But this piece for The Independent started with this tweet I posted after I heard about Paul Ryan trying to give AOC some “little tips” about being in Congress. Ugh, ugh, ugh….where’s the eye-roll emoji when you need it? Ironically, men even tried to mansplain to me in response to said tweet; I think the irony was lost on them, though.

Here’s an excerpt of the piece, in which I remind the world, yet again, that women are not required to listen to men…

It’s 2019, but it seems that a lot of men still have yet to grasp that the women in their lives didn’t ask for an explanation in the first place. They operate under the assumption that women are in desperate need of help, that they aren’t capable of completing or understanding tasks themselves, and that a man’s advice will magically save the day.
Yet the women I know? We’re tired. We’re tired of being underestimated and not taken seriously. We’re tired of being seen as weak and incapable. I’m starting to lose count of the number of times men have swooped in on Facebook or Twitter to try and “explain” something to me, only to act incredibly insulted when I pushed back; it’s as if they think I’m somehow required to listen.

My tweet about Paul Ryan and AOC was also included in a HuffPost round-up…right below Stephen Colbert’s tweet!! The Purveyor of the Matriarchy strikes again!

Saturday, July 20, 2019

My Essay on The Week: “Trump and the Everlasting Problem of Men Demanding Apologies From Women”

As a writer, there are certain things that I wish I didn’t have to write about. My latest op-ed for The Week falls in that category. Trump and his treatment of the four Congresswomen is yet another reveal of his deeply racist and misogynistic character, and I’m so over men demanding apologies from women. SO. OVER. IT. Women do not owe men the word “sorry.”

Needless to say, I’ve been fuming ALL WEEK. Well, actually, I’ve been fuming since 2016, but that’s beside the point. These are scary and dangerous times that we’re living in, and I knew I just had to write an op-ed about this culture of men thinking women owe them apologies. Make no mistake, this sense of entitlement is peak misogyny. Because the truth is…

WOMEN DO NOT OWE MEN.

They don’t owe them their time. They don’t owe them their attention.

Here’s an excerpt of the piece, which found a home on The Week and includes far too many examples of instances in pop culture, politics and even sports where powerful men have demanded that women apologize and atone for their supposed wrongdoings…

With this in mind, it becomes clear the apology is a tool — or perhaps a weapon — wielded by misogynists to suppress strong, confident women by making them feel humiliated, ashamed, and small. Trump, in particular, has a history of going on the attack any time he feels threatened or intimidated by a strong woman, and his is a predictable MO, one that he established long ago. He’s afraid of these four congresswomen because they’re not afraid of him. They’re not going to acquiesce or back down, and so Trump falls back on naming, shaming, and demanding repentance.

My op-ed was also featured on The Week’s homepage!! Think the Trump will see it??

This illustration is by my friend Meaghan Elderkin (remember her inspiring napkin drawings?) and is such a powerful statement of these amazing Congresswomen of color.

I stand with these incredibly brave and powerful women. Squad goals forever and always. Thank you, Reps. Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez of New York, Ilhan Omar of Minnesota, Ayanna S. Pressley of Massachusetts, and Rashida Tlaib of Michigan. We see you and we support you!

Wednesday, July 3, 2019

My Essay on CNN Opinion: “Why Lilly Singh Is What Late Night Comedy Needs Right Now”

Ahhh, friends! I can’t believe that I forgot to share one of my CNN op-eds with you! This one is all the way back from the end of March about YouTuber Lilly Singh breaking the glass ceiling of late-night TV. Bye bye, boys’ club!!!

I’ve been forever frustrated by the landscape of late night, haven’t you?? Especially in our current political climate and the #MeToo era, we’re seeing men telling us the news of the day — from their perspective. We’re in an age right now where we need better inclusion and representation when it comes to who is telling these stories, and I’m hoping that Lilly Singh hosting a late night show will be the first in a very long line of glass-ceiling-breaking female hosts.

Here’s an excerpt of the piece, in which I even take the writers’ rooms of late night to task for not employing nearly enough female writers…

It’s easy for someone like Leno, an older white male, to say that late-night comics should stay out of politics, but the fact is it’s 2019 — and it would be tone deaf to ignore the political and social challenges facing Americans. In fact, I would argue that it’s even more critical that Singh have a show, so she can start national conversations around marginalized communities.
Late-night television often provides the fodder for the water cooler (or Slack thread) conversations the next morning. So, Singh will soon have a powerful platform to kickstart a conversation on a host of issues, especially as we near the 2020 presidential election.

Tuesday, May 28, 2019

My Essay on Ravishly: “Why It’s Powerful When Celebrities Like Britney Spears Talk About Mental Health”

May is Mental Health Awareness Month and the more we talk about mental illness, the more we start to break the stigma. I was honored to write this piece about how powerful it is when celebrities like Britney Spears are open about their own struggles…

It definitely makes us feel less alone, doesn’t it? We often think that celebrities are these larger-than-life figures who are immune to everything. We see the fame, the glitz and the glam and start to think that their life is perfect. But, to quote famed magazine Us Weekly, stars really are just like us! They have their own struggles, and, sadly, all the money in the world can’t protect you from things like mental illness.

Here’s an excerpt of the piece, in which I recall, with exceptional clarity, the exact moment that I discovered the greatness of Britney Spears and became a super huge fan…

Instead, the pop star chose to be open about the bad times as well as the good, and in doing so, she further found her voice. She also helped fans find their own voices. That sort of candidness from a celebrity is both powerful and empowering, especially in a society where there are still so many misconceptions and misunderstandings about mental illness.
Even in 2019, we still live in a world where…people who struggle with mental health are seen as “weak” or looked down on when they can’t “simply get over it.” That sort of shame can be crushing and can make people feel like they need to be silent.
While she’s a world-famous icon, Britney’s willingness to be open and honest shows that, above all, she’s human. That vulnerability is just as fierce and refreshing as her music. And it will never go out of style.