What Trump’s Donna Reed Comments Reveal About Misogyny

Donna ReedFirst off, yes, I know that this story made the headlines almost two months ago and, indeed, it is pretty mild compared to the million other Trump atrocities we’ve seen in the last four years, but still…it got me steaming mad, so you know I must write about it! Do you remember reading about how Trump said that he wished female reporters were more like ‘50s housewives a la Donna Reed??

Oh, I’m disgusted too. So very, very, very disgusted. I’m not sure what’s worse — that he said it or that he actually meant it. Because you all know darn well that he was 100 percent serious. Or maybe both are equally bad for their own reasons.

At the time this story broke, in early May, the United States had just surpassed 70,000 deaths from coronavirus and the White House press briefings saw one mixed message after another. But one thing remained strikingly and shockingly and predictably consistent: Trump’s misogynistic treatment of female reporters.

In an interview, Trump was asked about his relationship with the media. He said that he found Weijia Jiang and Paula Reid, two female CBS News journalists, particularly irritating…

“It wasn’t Donna Reed, I can tell you that. … Paula Reid, she’s sitting there and I say, ‘How angry. I mean, What’s the purpose?’ They’re not even tough questions, but you see the attitude of these people, it’s like incredible.”

The Donna Reed he’s referring to? That would be the ‘50s TV housewife the actress played on the classic TV show The Donna Reed Show — the archetype of the dutiful, demure wife who doesn’t ask questions and doesn’t make waves. Never mind the fact that Donna Reed herself was actually the opposite of her TV alter ego in real life. Oh, and for a contemporary example, see the 2004 movie The Stepford Wives.

Donna ReedIt’s no coincidence that Trump would expect women to be silent and submissive, but honestly, I really don’t know why more people aren’t talking about the fact that Trump wishes female reporters acted more like Donna Reed ‘50s housewives, especially when this is the same man who repeatedly responded with “nice and easy” when questioned by Jiang less than a month before.

We’ve been here before, haven’t we?? We know this song and dance; if you’re a woman, chances are that you’ve already memorized it years ago. The truth is, Trump and men like him simply can’t stand tough women. They’re easily intimidated because their misogyny and toxic masculinity run so deep.

I’m over it. I’m over it all.

Maybe I’m more shocked than others because I’ve experienced this same sexism — albeit on a much smaller scale. As a disabled woman writer, I know all too well what it feels like to not be taken seriously, to be demeaned and to be called horrible names. This is being a woman. This is how women are treated, in both public and private. And it’s not OK.

Donna ReedGranted, this isn’t the first time he’s said derogatory things about women and we all know it won’t be the last time either. But it’s alarming that the president is becoming increasingly transparent in his sexist comments; he’s not even trying to hide them anymore.

So in case you didn’t get the memo: Yes, he literally expects women to be demure and silent because he is intimidated by strong, intelligent women. If you’re surprised by his misogyny, then you haven’t been paying attention.

Lizzo Calling Out Body-Shaming (Again!) Is Every Woman’s Mood

Body-Shaming
Lizzo isn’t here for your body-shaming and neither am I…

But what I just can’t get enough of lately?? The fact that Lizzo is completely unafraid to call out body-shamers. The singer took to TikTok with a message aimed directly at those who criticize her weight and her body. Basically, she’s over all of it…

I’m not working out to have your ideal body type. I’m working out to have my ideal body type. And you know what type that is? None of your fucking business. Because I am beautiful. I am strong. I do my job, and I stay on my job. Health is not just determined on what you look like on the outside. Health is also what happens on the inside. And a lot of y’all need to do a fucking cleanse for your insides.

Needless to say, Lizzo is my hero. I’ve written about her before (remember her fab Rolling Stone cover earlier this year?? And all those Grammy awards?) and she just might be the 2020 heroine we desperately need. She’s such a breath of fresh air with her “I don’t have time for this nonsense” attitude and I’m so glad to see her standing up to those who try to bring her down.

Her video also got me thinking of one key question when it comes to this dangerous trend of body-shaming: When was the last time you did the same to a man?

It’s 2020, but there’s still this patriarchal notion that we have a right to women’s bodies — how they look, what they wear, what they do, what they say.

We don’t.

I’m so sick of people thinking it’s OK to make fun of women for how they look. Women’s bodies aren’t open for debate, discussion, ridicule, criticism or your approval, so mind your own business.

Body-Shaming
As ’60s singer Lesley Gore once say, “you don’t own me” — and that’s so true, isn’t it? I’ve been thinking about this and so much of it goes back to toxic masculinity. I’m not sure why men are so intimidated and threatened by strong, intelligent women who know their own minds. Why does society continue to view women as objects instead of actual human beings? It’s infuriating and I’m infuriated every single day.

Any theories about all this toxic masculinity, friends?? It’s just getting tiring and I’m SO OVER IT… xoxo

P.S. How awesome are these photos of Lizzo??? And she’s making BET Awards history this year!!! #GirlCrush

20 Years Later, Britney Spears Still Slays on “Oops!… I Did It Again”

Britney SpearsI wrote a pretty important post yesterday, so I thought I’d balance things out a bit with a fun pop culture post today!! And it’s a fun topic, that’s for sure, friends! Where were you 20 years ago this month?? Well, I can pretty much guarantee that I was jamming out to Britney Spears and her classic second album “Oops!… I Did It Again”!!!

Can you believe that the iconic album came out 20 years ago?? I say this a lot, but 1999 and 2000 were hands-down the VERY BEST years in pop culture. Ever. And ever. It’s just a fact. And who was leading the teen charge back then? Britney herself with her catchy, poppy lyrics! That lyrical prowess was on full display throughout her sophomore jaunt. She told us how she was stronger than yesterday. She warned us not to go knocking on her door. She desperately pleaded not to be the last to know. And she sang a semi-autobiographical tale of woe about not being the lucky person everyone thought she was.

Britney Spears Britney SpearsOf course, who can forget the title track? You know, the one where she dances around in that red catsuit in the music video and we all tried to memorize her expert choreography moves and grooves. What, you mean you didn’t do that? OK, well, maybe it was just me, but still…

Oh, yes, this was an album ripe with greatest hits for the ages — well, for my generation, at least. If you managed to miss Britney fever with “…Baby One More Time” and that iconic video and sound, then you certainly took notice when you couldn’t get the boppy songs on her second album out of your head. And trust me, I’ve got first-hand experience with this. “Oops!… I Did It Again” is the album that made me a Britney fan and it’s also the album that I listened to on repeat one October in 2001 when my mom and I drove to Alabama by ourselves after my grandmother had a stroke. Indeed, this album is one I hold very close to my heart. It’s become a symbol of my formative years, of a time gone by that I think about often.

So you know that I just had to celebrate with a selfie! I know, you’re probably surprised that I still own the actual CD — I mean, I know my mom is and she never misses an opportunity to tell me so! But you can’t part with greatness, can you? The fact is that this album, even two decades later, still holds up. It’s just as fresh and fun and fantastic as it was when I was 18. And for that, I am incredibly grateful.

Britney SpearsThank you, Britney!!! For the wonderful memories and bouncy songs. They made me smile then and they still make me smile today. Here’s to the album’s 20th anniversary and beyond… xoxo

P.S. Why Britney Spears will always be the Greatest Pop Queen on All Time and how she shaped a new generation of pop stars!

We Need to Review What Fat-Shaming Is — and Isn’t

fatSigh, I wish I didn’t even have to write this blog post today, friends!! I just wrote about fat-shaming last week with Adele, but it seems not everyone got the memo or understands the term itself.

The hashtags and online chatter started yesterday when Speaker of the House Nancy Pelosi criticized Trump for his use of hydroxychloroquine to prevent COVID-19…

“As far as the president is concerned, he’s our president and I would rather he not be taking something that has not been approved by the scientists, especially in his age group and in his, shall we say, weight group, morbidly obese, they say. So, I think it’s not a good idea,” she said in an interview with Anderson Cooper on CNN.

By early this morning, hashtags like #FatShaming appeared on Twitter, with people appalled that Pelosi would resort to throwing around cheap shots and insults like that.

Honestly, I saw all those hashtags trending and it was all I could do to just sit there for a minute. Truth be told, I was pretty taken aback and just downright confused. So y’all are really clutching your pearls over Nancy Pelosi using a medical term one time to describe Trump while he’s spent a lifetime shaming, insulting and degrading women. That’s rich. Your hypocrisy is showing and the dichotomy of the whole thing is incredibly striking. My gosh, we’ve watched Trump literally call women vile names such as “horseface”, “dog” and “face of a pig,” to name a few, and he does this with abandon; he doesn’t care who he hurts and he’s done this for years.

“Morbidly obese,” on the other hand, is a medical term. To try and spin it as fat-shaming is an insult to people like me who have literally been called names like whale, parade balloon and a potato with a face. Those are the words that hurt. Those are the words that stick and do irreparable damage. I know what it’s like to be fat-shamed. And this isn’t it today.

fatMaybe the irony in all of this is that those same people who called me those awful names are the same people who are now so concerned with our fat-shaming culture. I just can’t with this double standard — it’s all kinds of staggering and helps no one. In fact, it hurts the very people who have actually experienced real and true bullying for their appearance.

Perhaps even more important, though, Trump is not the victim here! Please, let’s not forget that crucial fact while 90K people have died from the coronavirus. It’s incredibly troubling to see people offer even an ounce of sympathy to a man who doesn’t deserve it. Think about that, friends… xoxo

Thank You, Elizabeth Warren (and a Message to Bernie Bros)

Elizabeth WarrenFriends, I know the world feels so heavy and scary right now in the midst of the coronavirus and, indeed, I’m planning a blog post on that later this week, but I wanted to write a few more words about Elizabeth Warren because I feel like, especially in light of her ending her campaign, there’s still so much to say…

First, I’m telling my kids that the photo above is what a superhero looks like. Warren’s campaign was a master class in persistence, passion and plans. The fact that she’s ending her campaign doesn’t erase any of that and I’m so excited to see her bring that same fighting spirit to the next chapter!!

In a call with campaign staff, Warren thanked her team for being part of such a history-making bid for the presidency and how the work they started will carry on into the future…

What we have done — and the ideas we have launched into the world, the way we have fought this fight, the relationships we have built — will carry through, carry through for the rest of this election, and the one after that, and the one after that.

We have also shown that it is possible to inspire people with big ideas, possible to call out what’s wrong and to lay out a path to make this country live up to its promise.

We have shown that a woman can stand up, hold her ground, and stay true to herself — no matter what.

We have shown that we can build plans in collaboration with the people who are most affected. You know, just one example: Our disability plan is a model for our country, and, even more importantly, the way we relied on the disability communities to help us get it right will be a more important model.

And still, in the midst of all that Elizabeth Warren accomplished, there’s one thing we must remember: It’s OK to be sad and frustrated right now. We went from a diverse group of presidential candidates to two that just reinforce the tired status quo, so, yes, we’re allowed to be sad about Warren. I’m seeing far too many people saying things like “get over it,” but for women, “it” is about more than the end of a campaign. Seeing her drop out was another reminder about how we view women and it’s exhausting. Honestly, it’s like this headline in The Atlantic proclaims…

America Punished Elizabeth Warren for Her Competence

That’s exactly right, isn’t it? I mean, that firmly and succinctly encapsulates everything that we’ve seen when it comes to powerful, smart and competent women who have “dared” enter the spotlight and challenge the status quo of men being in charge of everything. After all, as revolutionary as Warren’s campaign was, the ending? That, sadly, was incredibly predictable — I mean, we knew how this would end, didn’t we?

I wanted to believe this time would be different. I wanted to believe that change is possible. I wanted to believe that people would FINALLY move beyond this disgusting sexism that has no place in 2020. I wanted to believe. I wanted to believe so much.

Elizabeth WarrenIt’s impossible and irresponsible to say that sexism and misogyny didn’t play a role in how we saw Elizabeth Warren treated. We must acknowledge it, so here’s a little review…

How to describe Warren: smart, capable, competent

How NOT to describe Warren: mean, nasty, angry, aggressive, emotional, shrill

Just ask yourself: Which set would I use to describe male candidates?

And speaking of male candidates, we need to have a serious conversation about the toxicity of Bernie Bros. The great irony is that they call themselves supporters because all that bullying isn’t going to sway me to vote for him.

They’re hurting his campaign. Full stop.

And the fact that Bernie Sanders himself refuses to further address their ugly behavior is just as troubling as the behavior itself.

If y’all want a peek at the vicious vitriol of the Bernie Bros, all you have to do is look at my mentions over the last week alone. Bullying isn’t a good look and it’s a dangerous strategy for gaining supporters.

In the end, as we all try to move forward, what does all this tell us? Strong women aren’t going anywhere, no matter how much some people wish they would. I hate that we still live in a world where we tell girls that they can be anything…except POTUS. But we need to. And more than telling them, we need to show them that a female president is possible. After all, actions speak louder than words. May we all strive to be a future of action. And lasting change… xoxo