Happy Birthday to My Superhero Mom

MomMY MOM IS 65 TODAY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

She’s my rock, role model, confidante, game buddy, bright light, shining star, inspiration, happiness, comfort, heart and soul, pure joy, best friend, Bert to my Ernie and forever the person I aspire to be.

This wonderful lady has been through quite a lot in the past 12 months, so I’d just like to take a few moments to address her — the one and only Ms. Bear!!

Mom: Do you realize all you’ve been through this year?? You had a colonoscopy, another abnormal mammogram, slipped on a newly waxed floor, fell on the ice and needed a couple rounds of steroids — not related to the ice encounter, but still traumatizing in its own way!

But guess what?? You’re still standing, to paraphrase Elton John!! You’ve persevered and you have come out on top!! I know it wasn’t easy at times, like when you ended up in the emergency room last weekend after your fall on the ice, but you kept right on going and that is one of the million reasons you’re my ultimate role model.

After all your accidents and mishaps, several people jokingly said that they wanted to wrap you in bubble wrap to protect you! Honestly, it’s not a bad idea, but might I suggest endless hugs and love instead of bubble wrap?? You’re so good at taking care of yourself, so please let people take care of YOU for a change!! Let us shower you with some cozy love bombs and let us help you rest because you deserve it!

MomIt’s also one of the reasons why you’re my superhero!!! Don’t believe me? Well, check out this illustration from a fan on Instagram! Jamie creates awesome pop art and I’m in love with how she captured the two of us in our classic selfie pose…don’t we look like characters right out of a comic book??

I imagine your comic book character would go around giving loving kindness to people who desperately need it; you’d shower them with love bombs and just generally make the world a brighter, happier, calmer, more comforting place. Because that’s just your nature!! You’re one of the purest souls I know and I’m grateful every day that I get to be around such goodness and love!

And before you say “I’m fine” like you always do, remember this: Even superheroes need their rest. In the world of superheroes, I’d say you deserve rest the most.

Happy birthday, Mom!!! I love you so very much… xoxo

How My Grandmother’s Spirit Is With Me on Her 99th Birthday

grandmotherMy grandmother would have turned 99 today!! She was the most wonderful woman, full of love, life, heart and kindness. She was only 80 when she died and I often wonder what she’d be up to now if she were still alive. Would she still have her vivacious energy? Would she still love to eat Skittles at the movies?

Those are the sorts of things I miss about my grandma — the little things, those personality traits that made her, well, her. Those were the things that made her such an individual and I miss her every day. I miss all the family stories she told. I miss our games of Scrabble and Monopoly, which she and I always played while my mom, sister and dad went down to the beach or to the movies. I miss hearing her say “Goodnight, Sweetheart” every night before bed. I miss her smile and her laugh and her warm hugs.

In her later years, she discovered her talent for painting and she’d spend afternoons upon afternoons sitting in front of an easel, her brushstrokes bringing colorful paintings to life. I sometimes wonder what went through her mind as she was deep in creative mode.

grandmotherMaybe she thought about her life and her family or maybe she thought about what painting she was going to paint next. Although, knowing how laid-back and chill my grandmother was, she probably remained in the moment and just relaxed — isn’t that a lesson for us all?

Today, her beautiful art hangs on our walls; in fact, she painted so often that each of her children have some of her work in their house. And it all sort of hit me this morning as I was thinking about her and her birthday: These paintings are a constant and comforting reminder that she’s still with us. Her spirit in alive in full color in each of her masterpieces and we’re so lucky to be able to feel her presence around us.

grandmotherEvery time we walked past one of her paintings, she’s with us. Each time we look at them, we’re reminded of her and the memories come flooding back.

Those memories mean so much to me, especially in the last 18 years since her death. She was one incredible lady who brought color and joy to the world — one memory and brushstroke at a time!! xoxo

Family Photos: I’ve Ventured Outside…to Our Patio

PatioWell, we’ve officially hit three months of quarantine!! That’s three months of bagel lunches and sleeping far too much and wondering every day about what was happening to our world. But look!! Today, I did something very special…I ventured outside to sit on our patio!!

I know this probably seems pretty small and, yes, in the grand scheme of things, it ranks low. After all, there are such big and heavy issues right now. Still, I’m proud of myself, especially since I’ve been in my house for almost 100 days; seriously, the only times I’ve left have been to either sit in the driveway or take a quick zoom around the block.

So I can’t help but consider this a win today! Not only did I get outside, but I woke up before noon! As my mom will tell you, me waking up before noon is a BIG DEAL. Like, a really, really big deal. This quarantine time has completely messed up my sleep schedule, but it was actually nice to be outside in the daylight hours for once!! We enjoyed a delicious snack of tomatoes and Diet Coke and it was refreshing to feel that warm sun!

When it comes to the art of relaxing, though, it’s my mom who has truly perfected it to a science! This hasn’t been easy for her because she’s active by nature and hates to even sit down for five minutes. Yet she’s adapted to our new slower normal and I’m so proud of her.

Here’s her take on all things patio lounging…

If you ask Melissa, she will tell you that I am not a sitting-on-the-patio type of person. But, something has happened to me with this recent stay-at-home thing. I’ve got myself into a nice little routine, and the surprising thing is that I am enjoying it!

I get up in the morning, shower and then eat when I look at the paper. Then I go out on my daily walk. I started these on March 14th, the day after we found out we were e-learning from home for the rest of the year. At the time, I was still feeling really bad from whatever I had in late February and I felt I had lost a lot of my strength, especially in my back. I think not swimming has caused a real tightening of those pesky back muscles. Anyway, for about the first month, I only walked about a mile each day. Then a funny thing happened…

Those walks started seeming too short. So, I picked up the pace and added some distance. I’m not where I want to be, but I’m farther than I was. Anyway, I digress.

Here is where the patio comes in. I come home from my walk, grab my one lonely 12-ounce can of Diet Coke (that’s all I get because of the caffeine), slice a tomato and head out to the patio, where I enjoy my snack (sometimes with a piece of Dove Dark Chocolate!).

PatioAnd, here is where it gets even more like the Twilight Zone….I read a novel. This is unusual for two reasons. First, I never read fiction during the day — no particular reason, but I don’t. And two, I’ve been reading really silly books that are similar to a Hallmark movie, which we have been watching too. What has happened to us? I think that the world is too much for us right now and we can’t think about it 24/7, so we take breaks with escapist things that make us smile. I’m sure I don’t want to do this forever, but right now it is hitting the spot!

And, I haven’t missed a walk or a patio session since March 14! Try it, you’ll like it!

Why I Want You to See My Wheelchair In Photos

Wheelchair Wheelchair“It’s not cool to be in a wheelchair.”

“No one wants to be in a wheelchair.”

“A disability isn’t something to be proud of.”

These are just some of the ableist things people have said to me. Obviously, I didn’t listen because I was far too busy LOVING my disabled body!!! Please, don’t be like these people, but if you ARE one of those people: Let’s talk about disability and pride for a minute!

After my viral tweet, I noticed something very interesting: I don’t have many photos that show my whole wheelchair. Can you believe that, friends? It was quite a shock, to say the least, because my wheelchair is a huge part of my life. Why is that, I wondered?? Maybe part of the reason is because I take so many selfies and lost one of those cool selfie sticks that my cousin gave us a couple years ago.

Whatever the reason, I’ve been on a mission to change that, to make my wheelchair just as much a part of a photo as my smiling face or my red hair. In fact, I even wrote about my wheelchair last fall in which I shared all the things my wheelchair has allowed me to do in life. Some people see a wheelchair as a prison, as something that holds you back, but you know what? My wheelchair has given me life. It’s given me freedom. It’s liberated me from the constraints of my disability. Without these fab and fast wheels, I wouldn’t have been able to work on my college newspaper, graduated college or teach the journalists of tomorrow as a newspaper adviser.

WheelchairIn other words: I wouldn’t be ME without it. So I’m always surprised and, frankly, angry when I see people fail to see just how important mobility devices are for disabled people. Do you think your legs are a prison? Do you feel confined by them?

Of course not! The same is true of my wheelchair. They’re my legs and I wouldn’t be able to live a full life without it.

Last year, I wrote an op-ed about the new wheelchair Barbie, so when I spotted her in the store over Christmas, I just had to take a selfie of us together! If for no other reason than to show my younger self and other disabled kids that they’re seen & they matter. Isn’t that awesome?!?!?

So look out, world…Barbie and I are rolling into a new era. And we’re here for disability representation!! I love my wheelchair and I’m proud to be disabled. Here I am, world. Who’s with me??? xoxo

Happy Mother’s Day to the Best Mom (Spoiler Alert: It’s Ms. Bear)

momDear Ms. Bear (the BEST mom ever!)…

I’ve written a blog post for Mother’s Day every year since 2009 — whew, that’s a lot of blog posts! But then again, there’s been a lot to say — err, write! Don’t worry, though! As you can see from the last decade, it’s all good things! It’s hard to pack everything you mean to me in just one post, isn’t it? You inspire me, lift me up, keep me honest, make me laugh (especially with your adorableness!) and, of course, love me unconditionally. Just as I love you unconditionally.

Of course, 2020 hasn’t exactly panned out like we thought it would. For the last nine weeks (or has it been 10…? Who even knows anymore…?), we’ve been quarantining together. We’ve had our moments of frustration and maybe a bit of too much togetherness at times — like when you casually drop a hint with “Wow, you’re really chatty today!” — but other than that, I’ve treasured this time we’ve spent at home and there is no one else I’d rather be in the depths of stay-at-home mode with than you!

I was thinking last week about what I wanted to say in this blog post and that’s when it hit me: Over the last nine weeks, I’ve gotten to see a side of you I don’t get to see very often.

momThe side that relaxes and rests.

You’re usually such a bundle of energy, flitting quickly from here to there faster than the Energizer Bunny, that I can barely keep up with you. In fact, I’m usually the one who is telling you to “SLOW DOWN” and “SIT DOWN,” right, Bert? I mean, I get worn out just watching you go, go, go!!

But since we’ve been home, I’ve actually seen you slow down. You’re relaxing. You’re getting the proper amount of sleep. You’re getting out in nature — and following proper social distancing protocols, of course! And you’re, perhaps for the first time ever, listening to your body. It’s quite a sight to behold — one I’m so grateful for.

You and I have always been a team!! Through good times and bad. Through laughter and tears. Through Yahtzee wins and losses. Through binge-watching The Golden Girls multiple times, including right now. You’re the best of the best and my hero for life!! Happy Mother’s Day, Mom!! You’re aces in my book and thank you for everything!! Now, go and sit down, please!! xoxo

Editor’s Note: As I was finishing up this post, Ms. Bear said “Why don’t you put the links to all the past Mother’s Day posts for me!” Well, who am I to deny my lovely mom?? Here you go, for your reading pleasure: 2009, 2010, 2011, 2012, 2013, 2014, 2015, 2016, 2017, 2018 and 2019.