Maximum Middle Age Is The New Website You Need To Bookmark

I’m a big fan of getting sucked down the Internet rabbit hole. I literally could spend hours on ending scrolling and reading, reading and scrolling. Some people enjoy knitting. I enjoy interneting — it’s my way of relaxing.

So it’s no wonder I was beyond excited when I heard about Maximum Middle Age, the new site launched by writer Eve Vawter and celebrating women over 35 — an age group often forgotten in our Twitter generation of hashtags and sound bytes. Seeing as how I’ll be a member of the over-35 set in no time, I could really identify with their mission statement…

What we all have in common is the sense we’re under-represented online, and that’s why we started MaxMA. We may be old, but we ain’t dead yet.

There is some much ageist BS directed towards us women of a certain age. Just because you live past the age of 30 doesn’t mean you stop caring about pop culture and beauty and style and women’s issues. Plus, there’s a whole other host of things that affect us as we age, our own parents getting older, our careers, our own kids starting high school and college and even getting married and having kids of their own.

I had the pleasure of interviewing Vawter last week about Maximum Middle Age, life post-Millennial and being your true self! Read on for all the inspiration from one truly inspiring lady!!

Tell me a bit about Maximum Middle Age. Where did the inspiration come from?
I’m 47, and I’ve worked in online media for about 10 years for various outlets. One day, I was so frustrated by getting another idea shot down because it “didn’t speak to the demographic we were trying to reach” (usually 30 and under) that I made a frustrated post on Facebook saying that I was going to start a website for women over the age of 35. A lot of my friends loved the idea and said they wanted to contribute. We have amazing editors like Avital Norman Nathman, Karen Miner, Asha Rajan, Deesha Philyaw and Jennifer Cumby. Jenny Poore is this incredible Web designer and she made the site look like an old-school riot girl ‘zine from the 1980s.

Why do you think the over-35 set is so underrepresented these days?
Because youth is where it’s at, baby! We’re a youth-obsessed culture, everything is geared towards younger people, and that’s who advertisers want to reach. The irony is, most people who are younger and just starting out don’t have the same buying power as people who are older and more established in their careers do. How many times have we read about an actress being “too old” to be considered a love interest for a movie role or about an older woman getting Botox or fillers in order to look younger? How many articles have we seen where headlines read “X Steps To Looking Younger” or “X Things You Should Never Wear Over Age 40“? Ashton Applewhite calls ageism “prejudice against our future selves.” The reality is, we are all pretty lucky if we get to the point where we can call ourselves middle-aged or older.

In your view, what is the biggest misconception about this age group?
That we stop caring about social issues and politics and feminism and pop culture as we age. Just because we reach a certain age doesn’t mean we stop caring about the world or even nail polish colors.

What can people do to change those misconceptions?
Make their voices heard, which is what we are trying to do with Maximum Middle Age.

What are some of your favorite pieces from the site so far?
So many! I’m floored by the stories that are being shared and the types of content coming in… Victoria Barrett wrote this beautifully sad piece on suffering a huge loss and Nina Bargiel wrote about the correct response when your family and friends ask why you are childfree.


What are your plans for the future? Any exciting posts/series coming up on the site?
We have been playing with the idea of doing a podcast, and we are going to have some fun video features and lots more celebrities answering our Maximum… questions!

Is there anything else you think I should know?
Because we are new and we have zero backing, we still can’t pay contributors, but we love hearing your stories and anyone interested in contributing should email us at general@maximummiddleage.com.

My Essay on POPSUGAR: “7 Ways I’m Happier in My 30s”

Remember my surprise 30th birthday party? I know…it seems like ages ago to me, too! Where does the time go? As a writer, I’ve found there’s really only one thing to do about it — write about it!

I’m excited to have “7 Ways I’m Happier In My 30s” up on POPSUGAR Love (you can read my first essay here), and the surprisingly refreshing thing I realized? I ABSOLUTELY love being in my 30s. Seriously, I highly recommend this decade! It’s like you’re at a point where you’re still young enough to have fun, but you’re old enough to no longer care what people think. It’s a great time to be alive, I tell you!

Anyway, here’s an excerpt of the essay, which includes the one phrase that I’ve ditched from my vocabulary…

I’d known what to expect from my fourth decade for, well, decades — at least in terms of what I’d seen portrayed on television. Remember that show Thirtysomething from the early ’90s? As a kid, I’d watch it with my mom and think, “OMG, what if I get that old?”
The characters were in a perpetual state of being stressed out, overworked, and overwhelmed. That, I reasoned, is what getting old must be like. That is what I had to look forward to.

Fast-forward to 2011 and I’m at my 30th birthday party. It’s a surprise party, and the irony of it all is not lost on me: Surprise! How had this day come already? It just seemed to sneak up on me. What happened?
BBB
I’d spent so much time mourning the loss of my 20s, as if I’d just reached some sort of finish line and my life was over, that I’d failed to see the promise of entering a new decade.

This year, I turn 35 — that odd age where you’re too old to still say you’re in your early 30s but still too young to elicit sympathy when you complain to someone about how old you feel.

But nonetheless, there’s no denying this decade has changed me already. In ways I expected and ways I’m still learning about every day. Here, seven surprising ways my happiness has soared so far.

You can read the full essay here and I’d love to hear your thoughts. Feel free to email me anytime at mellow1422@aol.com and let’s chat! And of course, feel free to share my essay on Facebook, Twitter or even your local refrigerator. If you share on Twitter, be sure to tag me @melissablake so we can connect! I can’t wait to hear from you! Love you all… xoxo

Getting Older Described in Charts and Graphs

Although I’m admittedly a few years past the big 3-0, these funny graphs still gave me a hearty chuckle this morning. Maybe I’m subconsciously still feeling the sting from turning the big 3-4 last week? xoxo

P.S. Janelle turns 30 in October. I should probably show her these… 🙂

[By Cecilia Rabess and Jessica Saia for The Bold Italic]

In The Pursuit of Happiness: Charlize Theron’s advice to women

I first fell in love with Charlize Theron when she starred opposite Keanu Reeves in the thriller Devil’s Advocate. That was wayyyy back in 1997, and since then, she’s always had a special place in my heart. I’ve admired her authenticity, her strength, her sense of self. The actress graces the May cover of W magazine, and in true Theron form, she dispenses the kind of advice that makes me want to sit up straight and take meticulous notes…

“That’s my encouragement to 20-year-olds who are terrified of getting older: Don’t have a nervous breakdown and don’t hit the Chardonnay too hard. Now that I’m older, I know I’m not missing out on anything,” she says. “Now, I go home, and that feels really good. When I hit 30, I realized I didn’t have to please everybody. I could actually enjoy life, which is not a bad thing at all.”

So often, we find ourselves comparing our lives, our goals, even our hobbies to everyone around us. I’ve found myself doing that more times than I’d like to admit. We create this invisible standard that we feel like we MUST measure up to. It’s totally unrealistic, sure, but that’s not really the point. We think that if we measure up, then all our problems will be solved and our lives will suddenly be perfect. And then we’re disappointed when we realize that it’s not true — that the standard we’ve been holding ourselves to is nothing but a lie.

Thank you, Charlize! Isn’t her advice great and a breath of fresh air? What celebrity advice have you been loving lately? Do you have a favorite Charlize quote or movie? Let’s chat, friends! xoxo

[Via PEOPLE]

Tip: 10 reasons your thirties is your breakout decade

The thirties often get a bad rap. They’re seen as a time of limbo, of being caught between wide-eyed innocence and self-assured maturity. It’s a time of being, as Britney once put it, not a girl, not yet a woman.

Smack in the middle of it all.

And really, I have to agree. I thought that turning 30 would come with some big, crystal-clear realization about life and how to live it. Honestly, I didn’t even really feel that different. Was I missing something? Some key link to the next level? Had my membership card gotten lost in the mail?

A few months ago, Jezebel, in an attempt to give us aimless thirtysomethings a bit of direction, declared your thirties as the Do-or-Die Decade…

When 40 became the new 30, 30 became invisible. It’s a decade of major transition, a bridge from the broke hot mess of your 20s to the fabulousness of your 40s. Or when ‘Mean Girls’ graduate to ‘boring bitches.’ At least that’s one of the perceptions that hurts the pre-middle age group. Thirty-somethings are overshadowed by the antics of the 20-something “Girls” and the 40-something “Real Housewives” because, pop-culturally speaking, the best material is born from ‘having nothing’ (20s), ‘having it all’ (40s) or ‘losing it all’ (40s divorcee).

YES!! This is exactly how I’ve been feeling lately. Overshadowed. I’m the Jan Brady of ages. Maybe you’re in a similar boat, and since we’re all in this crazy journey together, here are 10 reasons to love your thirties…

1. You can go to bed as early as you want and not have to justify it to your friends,


2. Suddenly, cats make the best of friends. Where have these glorious creatures been all my life?


3. You either become the cool older cousin or the hip aunt.


4. You realize that it’s OK to stand your ground = FREEDOM!


5. You can finally embrace your quirks.


6. You start to realize that maybe your parents were right about some things.


7. You let go of those lingering existential crises.


8. You aren’t as afraid of the “S” word — single.


9. Your passions excite you.


10. You aren’t considered a true cougar…yet.

If you’re in your thirties, what do you love about the decade? What’s been your favorite age so far, friends? Any tips on surviving any decade? Let’s chat! xoxo


P.S. I’m thinking of making “10 reasons…” a permanent series on So About What I Said. What do you think? I’d love to hear your thoughts and suggestions! 🙂