Four Things to Never Say to Someone In a Wheelchair

A few weeks ago, I went to the library to work for the day. I was lost in thought and furiously typing away when a man sat down at the computer next to me. He noticed my wheelchair and without missing a beat, he said, “I’d love to have one of those to drive around!“

I just smiled and nodded.

But what I really wanted to do? The words I had to consciously hold back so they wouldn’t just spill out of my mouth?

“Oh, how clever! I’ve never heard that one before!“

Yes, the sarcasm meter seems to run high for me when it comes to my disability sometimes. It’s not that I’m bitter, really. It’s just that, well, I have heard a lot of those sorts of remarks and comments before. So much so, in fact, that I thought I’d outline some of my personal favorites — and by favorites, I really mean the ones that I’d be fine never, ever hearing again. Here are four things to never say to someone in a wheelchair…

1. You’re so lucky: I’ve been lucky in life for a lot of reasons, like my wonderful family, my health and my career. And yes, I am very grateful that I have a wheelchair that allows me to be independent. But something tells me that’s not what people mean when they tell me, “You’re so lucky.” They mean lucky, as in, “I wish I had something like that so I didn’t have to walk around.” My answer: No, you don’t.

2. Hey, don’t run me over: Well, I wasn’t planning on it, but now that you mention it… no, but seriously, this one just isn’t all that funny. I know people might be trying to be funny, but it just falls short.

3. Do you have a license for that?: Similar to #2, I’ve never really seen the humor in this. Maybe I just lack a tendency for the chuckles, but I’m still surprise that people never seem to tire of using this line. Now if a guy used it as a pick-up line? You know what, no, I’d still hate it.

4. Can I try it?: I’m not sure where or how this rumor ever got started, but my wheelchair — along with guide dogs and walkers — are not toys for everyone’s amusement. They are adaptive devices that allow people with disabilities to be their own person, to live independent lives and to be contributing member of society.

And here’s a radical notion: It would be 100% OK with me if you didn’t even acknowledge my wheelchair. I mean, after all, I AM MORE THAN this piece of metal with wheels, trust me. I’ve got SO much more going for me in life, just as I’m sure you have so many interesting facets to your life too.

I want to get to know yours. Don’t you want to get to know mine?

[Photos via We Heart It]

What Career Should You Have?

In high school, I remember taking one of those career aptitude tests. I’m pretty sure it told me that I should be a writer or some variation of it — go figure! — and even now, I still think they’re fun to take. I took this one this evening just for fun and was sort of surprised by the results. My top four career categories were social services, health care, customer service and the arts. Well, OK, that last one doesn’t really surprise me…the others are pretty interesting those!

Go ahead and take the test and share your results below. Which career did you get? Were you surprised by the results? Does it match what you’re doing now or would like to do in the future? xoxo

[Photo via We Heart It]

Anti-Bullying Challenge: Make Someone Smile Today!

How To Stop Bullying

Sadly, we’ve all dealt with bullies in one form or another. When we’re young, it’s usually the kid on the playground or the mean girl in algebra class. As adults, these mean-spirited people can take the form of co-workers and the random Internet commenter — I see you, Anonymous!

It’s no fun to be on the receiving end of such hate. We all know this. But what we sometimes forget? What’s most important is how we react in these situations. Sure, our first instinct might be to “fight fire with fire,” as it were, but it won’t make us feel better or solve the problem; all we’ll be doing is sinking down to the bully’s low, low level. And that won’t get anyone anywhere.

So, on World Day of Bullying Prevention, let’s all do something different. Let’s change the conversation and spread some much-needed positivity. To get us started, here are 10 ways you can make someone smile…

1. Give someone a compliment: You’d be surprised at what a seemingly little vote of confidence can do.

2. Take your best friend to the movies: Ahhh, there’s nothing like enjoying a movie with a fresh box of Junior Mints.

3. Treat your mom to lunch: It’s amazing just how happy my mom gets from a simple lunch from Subway.

4. Volunteer at a homeless shelter: Every month, my family contributes a dish for dinner at our local homeless shelter.

5. Cookies, cookies, cookies: I’ve said before, but cookies make everyone happy.

6. Send someone a card: No one sends snail mail anymore, so why not surprise a loved with with a cute card?

7. Visit a children’s hospital: Trust me, days in the hospital can seem endless sometimes. Breaking up the monotony would surely brighten a child’s day.

8. Give someone a hand: See someone struggling with a huge stack of library books? See someone drop something? They’ll more than appreciate your kind gesture.

9. Spend some time with the elderly: When I was in middle school, I belonged to Grandparents Club. Every week, we’d visit residents in a senior living community. We all loved getting together and you could tell how happy it made everyone.

10. Tell your family how much you love them: Saying those three words never goes out of style and it’s such a nice way to make their day. It’s SO important to let the people in your life know just what they mean to you.

What do you think of this list, friends? What have you done lately that has made someone smile? What has someone done for you? Anything you’d add to the list? Get out there and spread the positivity!! xoxo

[Photos via We Heart It]

Tip: On Slow Living

Remember when we talked about the business of being busy? That was a few years ago, and I’d love to be able to say that I’ve come so far in that time — you know, that I’ve grown by leaps and bounds, have found the perfect balance and now, since I’ve got it all figured out, have some life-altering, earth-shattering, blow-your-mind advice to share. I wish I did, but honestly, I don’t. I sometimes wonder how far I’ve even come since that first post.

But we all try, don’t we? We all try as hard as we can to tone down the busy, crazy schedule. Sometimes it works. Sometimes it doesn’t. It seems like there are always things that need to be done, places we need to go and things just generally pulling at our attention. Everything demands attention NOW. I mean, we live in such a NOW culture and this idea of instant gratification has quickly become the norm. In a sense, we don’t know how to wait and the term “slow down” has all but been expelled from our vocabulary. My mom, for example, is incapable of slowing down. She’ll be on the go from sunrise to sunset — even on the weekends!

It boggles my mind, actually. But to paraphrase Miss Miley, she can’t stop. So I was pretty relieved when I came across Julia’s post on slow living. Not only is she an amazing writer, but she also manages to find the zen even with three kids running around (AND she lives in a seaside town, which I’m pretty jealous of…). Her words just ring so true for me…

For a while I wondered whether slow living was an indulgence for those who don’t have the constant companionship of a very chatty three year old until it occurred to me that maybe I am confusing slow with quiet and we could all learn a lot from a chatty three year old. By which I mean she stops and notices everything. She has no concept of time and is certainly incapable of rushing. When she finds pleasure in something she will repeat it indefinitely, whether that be stacking wooden blocks to knock them over, picking daisies from the lawn to cram into her favourite plastic cup or rolling down the slope in our garden again and again. And again. Perhaps for me this thing called slow living is not necessarily about sitting in a chair but more about taking pleasure in the simple things.

‘Slow’ is something to be deliberately chosen and slotted in to ‘busy’. Taking pleasure in the moment rather than planning the next. Slowing the thought process perhaps? I’m not sure but definitely a conscious decision to pause a while. Quite literally stopping to smell the roses, to admire the view, to enjoy the simplest of things in a way long forgotten as time and task take over.

So what can we do? Maybe this business of slowing down is such an individual choice and one that each person has to make for themselves. After all, what is calming and relaxing to one person might just be plain and boring to someone else. The key, I’m starting to realize, is finding that thing — that teeny, tiny spark — that brings you such joy that you can barely contain it. Those little moments that, yes, seem so little at the time, but turn out to make a huge difference in your life. For me, some of those things include: Blogging, reading magazines, ’80s sitcoms, playing games, hoarding lip balms and spending time with my family. As cliche as it sounds, maybe it really is all about the little things in life. Maybe in the end, it’s really just about grabbing all those happy moments you can.

Does this ring true for you, friends? Have you found yourself craving an escape from the busy, frantic pace? What are some little things you do to “stop and smell the roses”? Any tips or tricks you’d like to share? xoxo

[Photos via We Heart It]

Simple and Easy Skincare Tips for Moms on the Go

Ever look at celebrity moms like Halle Berry, Kim Kardashian and Jessica Simpson and wonder how in the world they have effortlessly flawless skin with such busy schedules? Sure they have a “glam squad” that can help them whip their skin into shape, but there are plenty of tricks to the trade that you can tackle on your own. The best part about it is that many of these tips are affordable! Whether you’re dealing with specific skin issues or you just want to achieve healthier skin, try these tips on for size…

1. Drink Plenty of Water
If it’s a clearer complexion you’re after, instead of caking on the foundation to cover up discolorations, all you need to do is drink plenty of water. By drinking about two liters of water a day, you can help the body to naturally release toxins that can cause common skin issues like acne. Water also keeps the skin naturally hydrated, which is important to keep the skin from becoming dry and flaky. It oxygenates the skin, allowing it to give your entire body a natural glow.

2. Keep Healthy Snacks on Hand
When you’ve got a busy schedule, it can be pretty tempting to grab something from your company’s vending machines and keep it moving. The only trouble is that eating snacks that are high in sugar and fat content can really be bad for the skin. Instead of consuming foods that you don’t need, try to have a healthy snack on hand. Eating the right types of foods gives the skin the vitamins and nutrients it needs. Some yogurt, a handful of nuts or even some fresh fruit can do the trick.

3. Take the Stairs
Did you know that exercise is not only great for your waistline and health, but it can be great for improving the skin? Exercise that increases heart rate (aerobics) can help to oxygenate the blood, reduce levels of stress hormones and improve blood flow circulation — all important for that effortlessly flawless skin you want. Even if you don’t have the funds or time to hit the gym, doing something simple like taking the stairs instead of the elevator at work or walking a few extra steps to and from the grocery store parking lot can be enough to boost the heart rate and improve your skin.

4. Buy Dual-Purpose Products
If you’ve looked at the various skincare products on the market, you’ll see that many of them require more than one step. From washing to exfoliating and moisturizing, a full skin-care regimen can be somewhat time-consuming. Rather than waste the extra time (that I’m sure you’ll need), you can purchase dual-purpose products. For instance, buying a lotion with sunscreen protection in it saves you time on treating the skin properly.

5. Take a Vitamin
The skin needs certain vitamins to give that youthful glowing appearance. If you’re not consuming enough vitamins and nutrients through the foods you eat, then it is probably a good idea to take a multi-vitamin. They can help to give the body the supplements it is lacking. Ideally, there are also vitamins that are specifically said to improve the appearance of skin and give you healthier, longer hair and nails. Taking one of those a day is pretty simple so that you don’t skip a beat.

6. Shop Online for Skincare Products
When you’re dealing with especially troubling skin issues such as skin tags, moles, eczema, or acne, then purchasing a skincare solution is the best option. However, if you’re known to have a busy schedule, finding the time to get to the store and make a purchase can be all but time-consuming. Instead, consider looking for your skincare products online. You can find natural mole removal products as well as products for skin tags, eczema and other skin conditions you may be experiencing. Shopping online allows you to compare prices, search consumer reviews and make the most effective choice while also saving you time and energy.

Time management is one skill that most moms need to hone in on daily. While there are sure to still be things that consume a better part of your day, finding quick and easy solutions to daily routines such as skincare is one way to manage stress while caring for your health. Try all of these tips on for size and see if you don’t begin to see a real difference in your skin.


–Sara Stringer is a freelance writer who most enjoys blogging about lifestyle, relationships and life as a woman. In her spare time, she enjoys soaking up the sunshine with her husband and two kids. Consideration was received for the editing and publishing of this article.

[Illustration via We Heart It]