Tip: Coloring Is (Still) Good for You!

Quick question: When was the last time you broke out a box of Crayola crayons and started coloring? Last week? A few years ago? The last day of elementary school? Can’t remember?
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Turns out, coloring isn’t just child’s play anymore.

I’m sure you’ve heard all the statistics and research by now — about how the seemingly simple act can help you de-stress, relax and generally just put you in a better frame of mind. It can help you recharge your batteries for taking on the world later.

“I recommend it as a relaxation technique,” says psychologist Antoni Martínez. “We can use it to enter into a more creative, freer state,” he assures. We can also use it to connect with how we feel, since depending on our mood we choose different colors or intensity. “I myself have practiced that. I recommend it in a quiet environment, even with chill music. Let the color and the lines flow.”

I’ve long been a fan of taking crayon to paper. There’s nothing like a fresh box of crayons and a crisp new Disney princess coloring book. Sure, it may be a bit juvenile, but it made me happy and brought a huge smile to my face. I may not have been the most talented (who really wants to stay in the lines anyway?), but it was fun and I was relaxing, which was the whole point in the first place. Now my sister? Oh, she had the talent. Each page was practically a work of art — so meticulous and pretty!

And with the popularity of adult coloring, we’ve got even more options than ever these days — options that far exceed the Disney set. Here are a few examples of my favorites…

*Adult Coloring Book: Stress Relieving Patterns, $10.26.
*The Coloring Cafe, $10.
*Secret Garden: An Inky Treasure Hunt and Coloring Book, $9.57.
*Folk Art coloring book, $9.99.
*Color Therapy: An Anti-Stress Coloring Book, $9.
*The 1990s Coloring Book, $7.22.

Are you a big fan of coloring, friends? Do you find that it relaxes you? I challenge you to go forth with your favorite color crayon in hand and paint the world any shade you want! xoxo

P.S. Remember this Ryan Gosling coloring book? Le sigh… :)

[Photo via We Heart It]

3 Tips for Tackling Your Goals

Last night, after I posted about the importance of actually writing down your goals, I went to write down some of my own.

It was a list of things I wanted to accomplish today. Nothing too grand or too lofty; in fact, it was mostly tasks that revolved around my typical work-day routine, with a couple on-going goals thrown in for good measure. And, well, the more I looked at the list I’d just created, the less inspired I felt in jumping right in and tackling them. Sure, it could have been because it was past midnight and my eyes were heavier than San Francisco fog, but I could sense something was off. There was a key piece of the puzzle missing. Maybe it had to do with my whole approach; you know, the way I was attacking the tasks, how I was “climbing the mountain” of work, if you will. Perhaps I needed to change my strategy.

So I started thinking back to the times when my Plan of Attack DID work. And soon enough, three tactics stood out…

1. Break It Down: I’d put things on my to-do list such as “Go through emails” or “Comment on blogs,” and then wonder why I got so overwhelmed so quickly. Not only was my wording vague, but there was no discernible timetable attached. How much time did I want to devote to each task? How many emails did I want to go through? How many blogs did I want to catch up on that day? It’s amazing the calm and clarity and renewed motivation that can come from breaking goals down into specific, manageable, bite-sized nuggets.

2. Take a Break: I have this horrible habit of “getting in the zone.” I’ll start working and before I know it, time and the world around me has become sort of irrelevant. I’d develop an intense and acute case of tunnel vision, wanting to work and work until I get something done. But, I’m trying to learn — and remember! — the inherent value of peeling my eyes away from the computer screen every once and awhile.

3. Allow for Adjustments: I’ll be the first to admit that I can be pretty stubborn when I want to be — some might even say a bit, well, rigid at times. If I get an idea in my head, I get so fixated on doing it that way; it’s almost like I have trouble thinking outside the box. But, really, life is one giant series of adjustments, so I’m guessing that things would go a lot smoother if I loosened up just a little. I figure it can’t hurt, right?

What do you think, friends? Do you have any tips or tricks to add? Anything that’s really worked well for you? Here’s to productivity — and being able to change with the tide! xoxo

[Photo via We Heart It]

On the Power of Writing Down Your Goals

I’ve been getting easily overwhelmed this summer. I’m not sure why, but it feels like my brain is having some sort of sensory overload. It’s not that I lack inspiration; in fact, just the opposite is true. I’ve got SO MANY creative ideas floating around in my head, so many projects I want to tackle and, frankly, I’m at a loss as to where to begin. I’ve got drafts and drafts of blog post ideas saved up. I’ve got tons of Web site articles I’ve been meaning to read. And I’ve wanted to start pitching freelance pieces again.

But, short of magically adding more hours to the day, I’ve felt so overwhelmed about it all. It’s one thing to have goals, but it’s quite another to actually bring those goals to life. It can all be downright daunting, you know? I’m pretty sure I’m not alone here!

New York magazine recently wrote about the importance of writing down your goals, that the literal putting of pen to paper isn’t something to be overlooked. Motivation researchers from the University of Toronto (who knew these types of researchers even existed!) set out to find out what happened when 700 students did a short writing exercise over the course of two years. As they reflected on their lives, they were asked to pick out key moments that helped shape who they are. They then used these memories as a framework for achieving their future goals, something professor Jordan Peterson dubbed “self-authoring.”

“Because these were students, a prerequisite to achieving many of their larger goals involved staying in school and completing their coursework. And in the end, the students who did the self-authoring exercise completed more course credit and were more likely to have stayed in school than the students in the control group, who had not done the writing assignment.”

Does this work for you, friends? How are you accomplishing your goals these days? What do you do when you get to feeling overwhelmed? Be sure to check back tomorrow, when I’ll be sharing my top 3 tips for how I plan to squash this overwhelming bubble! xoxo

[Photo via That Kind of Woman]

Tip: Forget About Being Likable

Believe it or not, I used to care what people think. Yes, it’s true. There was a time when I placed great stock in the opinion of others and what people said. Maybe it was because I wanted to fit in and feared being that lone ‘ugly duckling,’ or maybe I subconsciously worried about my disability getting in the way of things. Whatever the reason, I just knew that I really, really, really wanted people to like me.

The questions roamed around endlessly in my head…

–Did I just say the right thing?
–Did I do that wrong?
–Am I wearing the right shirt?
–Do they think I’m stupid?
–Will they remember my mistake forever?

It all can become quite overwhelming rather quickly. And it did. Obviously, trying to be everything to everyone leaves little room for you to be yourself. But then I read Nigerian author Chimamanda Ngozi Adichie’s wise words on the trappings of likability, and her advice was like a shot of truth to my heart…

I think that what our society teaches young girls, and I think it’s also something that’s quite difficult for even older women and self-professed feminists to shrug off, is that idea that likability is an essential part of you, of the space you occupy in the world, that you’re supposed to twist yourself into shapes to make yourself likable, that you’re supposed to hold back sometimes, pull back, don’t quite say, don’t be too pushy, because you have to be likable. 


So what I want to say to young girls is forget about likability. If you start thinking about being likable you are not going to tell your story honestly, because you are going to be so concerned with not offending, and that’s going to ruin your story, so forget about likability. And also the world is such a wonderful, diverse, and multifaceted place that there’s somebody who’s going to like you; you don’t need to twist yourself into shapes.

That’s the key, I think. If life is about telling your story and telling it honestly, there’s no time for worrying about what people think. The minute you start taking time to consider how people are going to perceive you? Well, it’s almost as if you’re censoring yourself; that’s not fair to you or anyone else. Ever.

And, really, think about it: People already have so much going on in their lives, and like my sister always says, “Do you think they’re actually going to remember this in the grand scheme of things?” Now, that’s not to say that they don’t care about you. It just means that people probably aren’t nearly as attuned to your life and behavior as you think they are. Do you remember what your co-worker said in that meeting yesterday? What was your sister wearing last weekend? What was the punchline of that corny joke your doctor told you during your last visit?

Translation: Everyone’s got their own stuff that they’re dealing with.

And here’s another thing about getting people to like you — “getting” is the keyword. If you have to get someone to like you, if it takes some sort of extraordinary measure, doesn’t the whole thing just reek of fakeness? It’s like that old adage we learned as children: If you have to bribe someone to be your friend, then maybe they’re not worth having as a friend. Because, really, when it comes down to it, that’s not what true friendship is all about. It’s about those gives and takes that truly define a friendship. In the end, that’s what makes you likable, and, really, the only think that matters.

Do you put a high price on what people think of you, friends? Has it changed over the years? How have you balanced your desire to be likable with your need to just be yourself? What advice do you have for those struggling with the issue these days? Let’s chat, shall we? xoxo

[Photos via We Heart It]

How To Break Bad Habits

A few years ago, I alluded to bad habits and fessed up to some of my own: My sometimes-inflated level of self-esteem, my love of weekend leisure time and my love of sweets.

It turned out to be rather liberating, this massive truth telling, but I’ve noticed over the years that there are still a number of “bad habits” that I just can’t seem to shake for good. Five of my “greatest hits,” as I like to call them…

*Biting my nails
*Snacking before bed
*Eavesdropping (though I chalk that one up to the journalist in me)
*Worrying and fixating on things I can’t change
*Being Ms. Bossy

Well, SELF recently wrote an interesting article on what to do when you can’t seem to break a bad habit, and the advice sounds pretty logical. The secret: Replace the old habit with a new one.

“Here’s the place where most people fail when they’re [trying to] change behaviors. They start by saying, ‘I need to stop biting my nails.’ Now, the problem with that is that’s a negative goal. Why is that a problem? Because it’s something you don’t want to do. And the reason that that’s a problem is because your habit learning system is an active system. It wants to associate behaviors with the environment. If you say I don’t want to do something, then what you’re doing is focusing yourself on not acting.”

Because our brains are more adept at implementing news skills as opposed to unlearning those bad ones, researchers say it’s more productive in the long-run to develop a healthy new habit to divert your attention away from the old one.

It sounds like common sense, right? Sounds a bit like my father’s hard drive analogy. It might take a bit of focus (OK, a lot of focus!), but it has to be better than my Pop-Tart cravings that seem to strike at midnight like clockwork.

What are some of your bad habits, friends? Have they gotten worse over the years? Have they changed? What tips do you have for getting rid of them one and for all? xoxo

P.S. Totally random: Now I’ve got Chicago’s “Hard Habit To Break” stuck in my head. How do I break that habit….hahaha! :)

[Photo via We Heart It]