Have a Happy Holiday! Plus, The Best of The Blog 2015…

Merry Christmas, friends! I’ve always cherished this time of year, when everything seems to stop and a peaceful calm blankets the whole world. It really is a wonderful thing, isn’t it? We’re enjoying a quiet Christmas at home, and I’m looking forward to some leisurely games and lots of delicious food.

I hope you have a relaxing holiday and new year with family and friends! We’ll be back to regular posting on January 4th, complete with lots of family photos from our holiday shenanigans! In the meantime, here’s a look at 2015 on So About What I Said (cue flashback music)…

Disability posts, including the 25th anniversary of the Americans With Disabilities Act, an inspiring model, 12 (medical) things you don’t know about me, a surprising revelation during my physical, how to pack the perfect hospital bag and what NOT to say to someone in a wheelchair.

Letters To My Future Husband, on topics like the power of names, choosing you every day and missing seeing that first handshake with my father.

Love Lounge posts, such as first kisses, how you know you’re in love, four things I know about love, the dangers of double standards and the allure of bad boys.

MEMO TO MEN posts, like four things more important than looks, where you can find me, questions to NEVER ask a woman with a disability, similarities between dating and blogging and confusing mixed messages.

Fashion posts, such as Polo Shirt Season 2015, top lip balm picks, pretty pendants for fall, 10 quirky jewelry finds and my new haircut in DECADES!

Beauty posts, like watercolor nails, the best fall hair accessories and Adele on being yourself.

Dream Home posts, such as this beautiful floral entryway, tropical wallpaper, romantic rooms and a rooftop pool.

Dream Vacation posts, including the Pacific Coast Highway, Ms. Bear’s trip to NYC and tree camping.

Family posts, like fun times in the winter, the best age to have a baby, conversations with Ms. Bear, wise words on crying, my 34th birthday, four lessons my father taught me and more on my father’s suicide.

Pop culture posts, like favorite Etsy finds, Open Letters, inspiring women, movies, music, television and more from the In The Pursuit of Happiness series.

And, finally, we celebrated the launch of four new series: Blogging Club, Style Guide, The Science of Love and Tuesday Tunes!

Whew, what an exciting year it’s been!! I can’t wait to share 2016 with you, friends, and I hope you know that I’m grateful for you EVERY SINGLE DAY!!! Thanks so much for reading and for all your support. Have a wonderful holiday and new year — now GO RELAX!!! xoxo

As always, feel free to connect with me on Pinterest, Twitter, Facebook, Instagram and YouTube! See you there, friends! xoxo

10 Thoughts I Have When I See ‘College Kids’ These Days

This past September, I found myself going back to school with thousands of young people all over the world. Well, that’s only partially true, I suppose. I did set foot — err, wheels — on campus, even if it wasn’t exactly in the classroom.

One of my favorite things about being a freelance writer and blogger is the ability to set my own schedule. I mostly work from home, but I’ve started to change things up a bit this semester by going to the university library a couple times a week. The change of scenery is great for creativity, and I’m discovering that I’m even more productive too. So on Mondays and Wednesdays, it’s just me and that library computer.

Well, maybe more like me and hundreds of twentysomethings.

I half feel like the Ghost of College Past, flying around campus and haunting the place. Like someone whose soul never really left. After all, it’s been a full decade since I walked across the graduation stage and collected my diploma. Things certainly have changed in those 10 years. Technology is really everywhere. Textbooks are a heck of a lot cheaper now that you can buy them online. And papers are now turned in electronically.

It all makes me feel very, very, very, very old. Shockingly old. But you know what shocks me even more? All the thoughts that go through my head when I see these ‘kids’ out and about — and yes, I’m pretty certain that calling them ‘kids’ I just one more sign of my age! I’m quickly becoming that crotchety old man who revels in doling out advice and telling “In my day…” stories.

Those thoughts. Oh, yes, those thoughts. So many of them. Here are my top 10 favorites…

1. “Kids, when I started college, you were in, like, elementary school.”

2. “Kids, pull up those pants. They’re going to fall down.”

3. “Kids, turn down that music. It’s hurting my delicate little ears.”

4. “Kids, if you keep staring at that phone, it’s going to become permanently glued to your face.”

5. “Kids, watch where you’re going. You’re going to get yourself run over.”

6. “Kids, can we pick up the pace a little? I know you probably don’t want to go to class, but some of us have places to be and things to do.”

7. “Kids, thanks for NOT holding the door. Didn’t your parents teach you any better?”

8. “Kids, I really don’t need to hear your entire conversation all the way across the room. Your drama is not front-page news, trust me. I promise. I really don’t care to hear about what party you went to over the weekend or just how ‘wasted’ you were.”

9. “Kids, what in the heck are you doing eating pizza in the library? Does this look like your dorm room? Maybe you missed the sign outside that said this is a library…”

10. “Kids, do yourself a favor and save this list. I guarantee I’m going to look like a genius in 10 years.”

Looking back over this list again, I do realize that my line of thinking could stem from that fact that I’m growing bitter about my all-too-soon advancing age or the fact that my youth is but sand in that old hourglass. On second thought, no, those college kids need some sort of etiquette lesson. And who am I to deprive them of one? xoxo

[Photos via We Heart It]

Dealing With Negativity (Or, My Life According To Haters!)

We’re a whole bunch of fakes.

It’s one of the great complaints about bloggers. That we lead curated lives and create these fantastical ideals that no one could ever live up to. In a word, our lives are styled and staged to the max, and it’s reached the point where we’re doing things and trying things and going places for the sole purpose of generating blog content.

Translation: Nothing even remotely reflects reality anymore.

Well, thankfully, I can count my lucky stars that I don’t belong in that group. I recently came across a conversation about Yours Truly on a popular gossip/snark site for bloggers. Yeah, I’m sure you know the one. It’s was the sort of discovery that brings with it a certain level of elation. As in, “OK, I guess I’ve finally made it! This must be my version of an US Weekly cover!“

Anyway, their hard-researched verdict?

My life is all too boring.

Hmm. They did have a point, I think. After all, that fear does creep in every so often, like on the days when I sit at my window and watch the snow fall, and I have to wonder: What has my life become? Thank goodness for these wise, eye-opening souls who are here to enlighten me as to the error of my ways. Without them, I just might have perished into the blog oblivion. Among their other criticisms…

1. I have an overly idealized/romanticized vision of love: Wait, you mean Prince Charming is really just a fictional character? And there’s no white horse either? Gosh darn it, and to think I had my future all planned out. I was so looking forward to meeting Mr. Charming and jumping right into a story book. Wait, you mean that’s not possible either?

2. I don’t go out of the house except to go to Target or CVS: Haha, gotcha here! My drugstore of choice is actually Walgreens, not CVS. But I do see your point. I suppose I am boring. Maybe I should start staging design projects, kitchen cooking sessions and fashion shows — you know, make myself “appear” more interesting and livelier than I actually am. I mean, it doesn’t really matter if it’s true, right? It’s all about how it looks.

3. I’m stuck in my ways and I hate change: Very true! I’m mad at the world for making a full rotation every 24 hours and I’m so frustrated that the seasons change. Maybe I’ll just curl up in my house and never come out! Now there’s a thought!

4. I refuse to try online dating, which may lead to my Forever Spinster status: You’re right. I guess there are just no other options for me; all hope is officially lost. At least I have my cats and a warm blanket to keep me company during my lonely, lonely years, since everyone knows that romantic love is the only kind of love there is. There’s no other kind of love out there. If you don’t have romantic love, you’re a hopeless loser, so thanks for letting me know.

5. I would never date someone in a wheelchair/with a disability: Oh, I know, right? I can barely tolerate me. Can you imagine having to put up with another me? That would just be downright exhausting and I just don’t think I could get past that glaring wheelchair.

By now, I hope you’ve caught on to my wit and sarcasm in this post — no doubt cultivated by my many hours by myself, indoors, with my cats as my audience.

And one more thing: One of you said that you’d feel guilty starting an entire thread about me because of my disability. Well, don’t worry — there’s no need to be a superhero martyr. I’m not a China doll. In fact, I’m pretty tough. I can take it. Just don’t expect me to take it sitting down — pun intended — because I will fight back. So might I suggest that the next time you’d like to give me “life advice,” you step away from the comforts of your computer and your cutesy screen name (heyyy, Mediocre Snark Attack and Polarburr!!) and say your piece to my face. Because while you may think you slayed with your words, at least I have enough guts and self-esteem to use my name.

Who’s the superhero now?

So About What I Said’s Anniversary: The Past and the Future!

I’m pretty sure that November 14th, 2008 was just another ordinary day. In fact, I don’t even remember what I did that day except for one thing: I hit ‘publish’ on So About What I Said’s inaugural post.

I didn’t think very much about the impact of that single act at the time. I’d been wanting to start a blog for awhile by that point, but the medium was still relatively new at the time. I didn’t really know where it — or I — was going. And maybe I couldn’t have predicted the amazing roller coaster at the time, but, oh, what an incredible ride its been over the last seven years.

I’ve learned about myself. I’ve learned about life. And, of course, I’ve learned about love. I did it all over 5,000+ posts — I don’t think that number will ever not blow my mind! So when I think about the past and try to connect it with the future and where I’m going, I’ve come back to two key blog points lately…

1.BLOG KEYWORDS: Honest, Real, Smart and Funny
Over the years, I’ve always approached my blog with those four words in the forefront of my mind; they encapsulate the heart of my blog and what it’s really about. I wanted these words to sort of be the foundation of everything I do — the guiding force of the ship, if you will. And I think I’ve successfully found it in these four words. Honesty has been my guiding principle from the beginning, but it’s also so important for me to engage in smart dialogue with you all and create a loving, welcoming community where we can each tell our stories and not be afraid to be ourselves. And what’s the world without some fun? You can never underestimate the benefits of fun and lots of laughter. Ever.

2. BUCKETS OR CATEGORIES: Relationships, Disabilities, Lifestyle and Pop Culture
I’ve been thinking a lot about the ‘buckets’ or categories that make up the umbrella of my blog posts. I like to think of it as a tree, where each branch is made of leaves or ‘subtopics.’ For example…

*Relationships cover things like Letters To My Future Husband, Love Lounge, MEMO TO MEN, Lyrical Gangster, Dating, Weddings, The Science of Love and Family.

*Disabilities cover things like Disability Issues (obviously!), Disabilities In The Media, Body Image and Depression.

*Lifestyle covers things like Fashion, Beauty, Design, Art, Food, Shopping, Etsy Love, Dream Home and Dream Vacation.

*Pop Culture covers things like Open Letters, In The Pursuit of Happiness, Music, Movies, Television and Books.

Keeping these specific ‘buckets’ in mind will further reinforce my blog’s focus going forward and help me continue to zero in on my niche as a writer and blogger. It’s made all the difference in making sure I’m on track.

One major criticism I’ve heard over the years is that bloggers need to choose a side: Serious, hard-hitting content or posts of the fluffy, rainbows-and-unicorns variety. But I’ve never believed that. In blogging, as well as in life, I’ve always lived by the mantra that you can be both, which is why I try to strike the perfect balance between serious and fun. I want to strive to be real and honest and deep, but at the same time, I never want to be afraid to enjoy a fun fashion round-up or obsess over the latest TV guilty pleasure. You need the dark mixed with the light; you need time to be serious and time to just turn your mind off. I promise I’ll always try my very best to maintain that delicate balance.


I’d love to hear your blogging tips as well, friends!! THANK YOU so much for seven amazing years, and I can’t wait to see where our adventures take us in the future!!! I couldn’t ask for sweeter, kinder, more encouraging readers — thanks for making my days and my job so much fun! I love you! You know I’ll NEVER stop saying that, right? xoxo

Do First Impressions Matter?

Let’s talk first impressions, shall we, friends? Sure, we’ve talked about first impressions and dating, but what about work and just life in general?

Forbes contributor and author Nick Morgan says they matter a great deal, especially in the ways our unconscious mind processes the world around us.

“Our conscious minds can handle roughly 40 bits of information a second. That sounds like a lot until you know that our unconscious minds can handle 11 millions bps,” he says. “And so we’ve evolved to let our unconscious minds handle first impressions, along with a lot of other things, because our conscious minds are easily overwhelmed with just talking and trying not to spill coffee on ourselves.”

It can be scary to think just how much our unconscious is at play when it comes to meeting people for the first time. Maybe it’s the first time you meet your boss or coworkers. Maybe it’s the first time you meet your future spouse or in-laws. I’ve often wondered if we could be thinking one thing on the surface while our unconscious is busy at work forming different opinions. As Morgan says…

“We have mirror neurons that fire when we see (unconsciously) someone else come into view. Our mirror neurons match their emotions precisely. So if that person is nervous, they make us nervous. We literally leak our emotions to each other.”

So perhaps the saying should be “put your best neuron forward”? But on the flip side, I know that I can be extremely nervous when I first meet people — quite surprising, I know! It takes me awhile to warm up to a point where I feel comfortable around them. Now, this isn’t to say that I make a complete fool of myself; it’s just that, sometimes, the person someone initially meets might not be a fully accurate representation of who that person truly is. It might take a bit more time to get to know them, so give them the chance.

Do you agree, friends? How important are first impressions to you? Do you get nervous when you meet new people or not so much? What advice would you give people to help them ‘loosen up’ more in social situations? xoxo

[Photos via We Heart It]