10 Thoughts I Have When I See ‘College Kids’ These Days

This past September, I found myself going back to school with thousands of young people all over the world. Well, that’s only partially true, I suppose. I did set foot — err, wheels — on campus, even if it wasn’t exactly in the classroom.

One of my favorite things about being a freelance writer and blogger is the ability to set my own schedule. I mostly work from home, but I’ve started to change things up a bit this semester by going to the university library a couple times a week. The change of scenery is great for creativity, and I’m discovering that I’m even more productive too. So on Mondays and Wednesdays, it’s just me and that library computer.

Well, maybe more like me and hundreds of twentysomethings.

I half feel like the Ghost of College Past, flying around campus and haunting the place. Like someone whose soul never really left. After all, it’s been a full decade since I walked across the graduation stage and collected my diploma. Things certainly have changed in those 10 years. Technology is really everywhere. Textbooks are a heck of a lot cheaper now that you can buy them online. And papers are now turned in electronically.

It all makes me feel very, very, very, very old. Shockingly old. But you know what shocks me even more? All the thoughts that go through my head when I see these ‘kids’ out and about — and yes, I’m pretty certain that calling them ‘kids’ I just one more sign of my age! I’m quickly becoming that crotchety old man who revels in doling out advice and telling “In my day…” stories.

Those thoughts. Oh, yes, those thoughts. So many of them. Here are my top 10 favorites…

1. “Kids, when I started college, you were in, like, elementary school.”

2. “Kids, pull up those pants. They’re going to fall down.”

3. “Kids, turn down that music. It’s hurting my delicate little ears.”

4. “Kids, if you keep staring at that phone, it’s going to become permanently glued to your face.”

5. “Kids, watch where you’re going. You’re going to get yourself run over.”

6. “Kids, can we pick up the pace a little? I know you probably don’t want to go to class, but some of us have places to be and things to do.”

7. “Kids, thanks for NOT holding the door. Didn’t your parents teach you any better?”

8. “Kids, I really don’t need to hear your entire conversation all the way across the room. Your drama is not front-page news, trust me. I promise. I really don’t care to hear about what party you went to over the weekend or just how ‘wasted’ you were.”

9. “Kids, what in the heck are you doing eating pizza in the library? Does this look like your dorm room? Maybe you missed the sign outside that said this is a library…”

10. “Kids, do yourself a favor and save this list. I guarantee I’m going to look like a genius in 10 years.”

Looking back over this list again, I do realize that my line of thinking could stem from that fact that I’m growing bitter about my all-too-soon advancing age or the fact that my youth is but sand in that old hourglass. On second thought, no, those college kids need some sort of etiquette lesson. And who am I to deprive them of one? xoxo

[Photos via We Heart It]