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Tuesday, June 2, 2020

Conversations With My Mom

ConversationsWe’ve been in quarantine now for almost three months! I’m incredibly lucky and I’m grateful every day that I get to be with my mom and sister, but there’s one thing no one tells you about spending 24/7 with your family: conversations with my mom are epic!!

And by epic, what I really mean is “I couldn’t make this stuff up if I tried” doozies!! And we’ve had some doozies, let me tell you!! If this were a Hallmark movie, my mom and I would be curled up on the couch, cup of cocoa in hand, talking about how the last few months have brought us so much closer together. We’d be sharing secrets and revelations about each other, swapping stories we’d never told the other. But this isn’t a Hallmark movie and, honestly, my mom and I are more like classic mother-daughter duo Sophia and Dorothy from The Golden Girls — we’re pretty much a well-oiled machine at this point, full of witty and sarcastic banter and able to complete each other’s sentences without missing a beat.

ConversationsMaybe that’s why we’ve had some of the best, most hilarious back-and-forth conversations while we’ve been home together. So in true journalist form, I’ve been chronicling them all. They’re filled with sarcastic zingers. They’re heavy on the humor. And my mom’s trademark eye-rolls practically leap off the screen.

Don’t believe me? Here’s a sample, so you can all judge for yourself…

Mom: Do you want extra sauce on your spaghetti?

Me: I’m the only one who can be extra saucy around here!!


Mom: Do you like lima beans??

Me: No, I only like Josh Lyman…


Me: Why do cats puff up their tails??

Mom: So they can look tougher and braver than they really are.

Me: Oh, just like Trump!


Me: What kind of cheese is this?

Mom: It’s sharp cheddar

Me: Oh, sharp…just like my wit

Mom: That’s right (as she smirks and rolls her eyes)


Mom: The frosting on that cake is sweet.

Me: Ooooh, just like me!

Mom: Well, you’ve got some sass too (again, she rolls her eyes)


And, a personal favorite that just happened tonight…

Mom: Is Trump giving a speech tonight?

Me: I’m not sure. Is something wrong with your Google? And, no, that is not a euphemism

ConversationsLike I said, we’ve got great comedic timing. I’m thinking we should take our act on the road. I mean, Bert and Ernie have been a crowd favorite of all ages for years and my mom and I are just like them, remember? This photo illustrates our relationship perfectly. There’s me (Ernie) saying something perhaps a bit out there and my mom (Bert) just looking like she’s completely over it all. I think a lot of other mothers and their daughters could relate to that, don’t you think?

Have you been having any interesting conversations with your loved one during quarantine? What have you been talking about? Deep, soul-searching topics or more of the light-hearted variety, friends?? xoxo

P.S. Thanks for everything over the last three months! I love you, Ma…

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4 Comments Filed Under: Coronavirus, family, Humor

Monday, April 1, 2019

Motivational Quotes Monday: 5 Jokes For April Fools Day Giggles

Guess what, friends?!? I’m baaaaack!!! And, no, that is not some cruel April Fools Day prank. It’s Yours Truly, in the flesh — well, more like in cyberspace, but you get the idea! How have you been? I’m very sad to see my spring break come to an end, and poor Ms. Bear was sick for most of the week!!! So instead of our usual motivational quotes today, I thought we needed something funny to cheer us up! And what’s funnier than, well, jokes? They can make you laugh until your eyes water and you can’t catch your breath. Everyone needs a joke or two to brighten the day, so here are 5 in honor of April Fools Day…

April Fools Day April Fools Day April Fools Day April Fools Day

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2 Comments Filed Under: Happiness, Humor, Quotes

Tuesday, October 17, 2017

Etsy Love: I’m A Lot Cooler On The Internet

Cooler On The InternetIf you know me in real life, I think you’ll agree with me when I say that I’m A LOT cooler on the Internet. Really, I am. It’s just a fact of nature — you know, like how birds fly to warmer climates for the winter.

I’m just incredibly awkward in real time. It’s the magic that is me.

Cooler On The InternetSo maybe I should get some sort of swag or bling to cement my status? I’m loving this sweatshirt…and of course, this button!! Could you see me sporting that button when I go out and about?!?!? I’m pretty sure I’d be quite the sight to behold, you know?? xoxo

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3 Comments Filed Under: etsy love, fashion, Humor

Tuesday, January 24, 2017

That Time I Was an Awkward Texter

That Time I Was an Awkward TexterEditor’s Note: I found this old column I wrote NINE YEARS AGO!!! It’s about the early days of texting — you know, back in the Stone Age when people were still switching over from flip phones and everyone thought Blackberries were the wave of the future? Yeah, that long ago. Anyway, thought it would be fun to post a little ode to that time I was an awkward texter today! Hope you enjoy it, friends!

P.S. Yes, the above is an actual text exchange with my mother…you can probably guess what I was watching last Friday that got me so steaming mad!


This Thing Called Texting…

OMG. LOL. HAHAHA.

No, that is not some updated version of Morse code, though it is a code of sorts. Those abbreviations are the hippest batch of phrase crazes to sweep the nation since the ‘groovy’ and ‘outta sight’ days.

The only difference is that these phrases are rarely, if ever, uttered by the human voice. It’s all done over a scary, spooky world known as text messaging.

It’s really quite a sight to behold, actually, the dance they do with these new, hip words. Dare I say this new trend even rivals the old-time dances such as the Twist and the Charleston? The only difference is that instead of using an arm, a leg and maybe a touch of hip action, another body part is getting all the action, its very own calisthenic workout, if you will. The hands. More specifically? The thumbs. They move, zigzag, glide and shuffle over those cell phone and Blackberries with the ease of someone whose thumbs are quadruple jointed. It almost looks unnatural.

The Fastest Thumbs in the West, I call them.

Just look around and you’ll see them everywhere. People walking on the street. People sitting on a bus. People shopping. People lying in bed. People even doing it while talking to you — and yes, you multi-tasking people, you know who you are.

So naturally, I can’t help but feel left out. Yes, of course I have a cell phone (it’s new and pretty and blue), but I’m old-school with it. I only use it for its original purpose: calling.

Now, before you draw your conclusions and make your judgments about my sheltered existence, I do have a defense. If I did vow to text like there’s no tomorrow, the sad truth is that I’d have virtually no one anxiously waiting on the other end of those messages. No boyfriend to write mushy notes to. And considering the fact that I go to bed at 8 p.m. most nights rules out the possibility of texting friends for a bar-hopping night of fun and merriment.

That Time I Was an Awkward TexterI could text my family. In fact, I’ve tried. I texted my mother one time and instead of praising me for sending the first text EVER in my life (I was 24 or 25 at the time), she proceeded to rant about how much it will cost.

“Don’t do that ever again,” she said.

And so far, I haven’t. Oh wait, there was that one time last month that I texted my sister this message: “I am watching you” for fun. Apparently she didn’t recognize my cell number because the message freaked her out.

Do you see a pattern here? I’m a horribly awkward texter. And I’ve only done it twice. And anyway, it’s not like I’d have anything of importance to say in these texts. I imagine my messages would look something like these:

Hey Mom. I just woke up and wanted to say hi.

Hey Mom. I just got out of the shower and was worried I’d missed your text.

Hey Mom. I just got to work.

Hey Mom. I just had the best lunch ever: tuna!

Hey Mom. Can you buy me some Juicy Juice?

Hey Mom….

See, it’d be an hourly log of my day-to-boring-day life. I’d eventually (probably the same day) run out of things to say, err, type. I’m pretty weak physically, so my hands and thumbs would probably be sore too. I’m thinking I’d have to soak them in hot water that night.

Maybe that’s OK. Maybe I — and perhaps you few other folks out there — simply need to realize we’re not the texting type. There’s no shame in it, really. Maybe texting, like the Twist, isn’t for everyone. We shouldn’t feel bullied by those with a fast thumb who know how to use it, should we?

So the next time someone tries to pressure you, saying you’re a texting virgin, give ‘em the thumbs up. Show your bare thumb proudly! At least your thumb will be smoother than theirs.

Update: My gosh, how times have changed over the years. Now, I’m a full-on texting addict. OK, maybe that’s a bit of an exaggeration, but at the very least, I’m in too deep to ever go back now. I know too much. And I’ve texted far too much. Maybe you’re the same way? Here’s to us…it’s a crazzzy texting world out there! xoxo

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2 Comments Filed Under: Entertainment and Media, family, Humor

Tuesday, June 21, 2016

Hilarious TV Show: Baskets

Leave it to Janelle to once again make me hip to all sorts of new things in the world of TV — remember Portlandia? SNL’s Stefon?

This time around, it comes in the form of Baskets, the hilarious comedy on FX. Have you guys seen it? It stars Zach Galifianakis as Chip Baskets, a man who is just trying to find himself and make it after failing out of France’s famed clown college. He moves home to Bakersfield and takes a job as a clown at the rodeo — who even knew there was such a thing? Paste magazine ranked the show one of the best sitcoms on TV today and called it a “true to life” comedy…

While Chip’s passion in life is to achieve the high artistic value of being a classically-trained clown, he must face the realities of a loveless marriage, reliance upon the support of his family, and uncertainty over how long he can financially support himself while chasing his dream. Despite its less likely moments, Baskets is a true to life comedy. Nothing is ever completely serious, and nothing is ever taken as a complete joke. Something as mundane as a trip to the grocery store and waiting in a slow line could be a comedy scene if you look hard enough. That’s exactly the type of show Krisel and his colleagues set out to make—the kind where the absurdity of life is highlighted and the humor can be found in just about anything, including tragedy.

The supporting characters are scene stealers too: There’s Penelope, the French mademoiselle who married Chip just to get a green card, and insurance adjuster/Costco employee Martha, who has somehow become Chip’s personal chauffeur. My favorite character, though, is definitely Christine Baskets (aka, Mama Baskets) played by Louie Anderson.

The show is quirky and in-that-good-way weird, and I think we can all see a part of ourselves in Chip, even if he can be a bit angry with the world. If you need a summer show, I highly recommend checking it out. Season one just ended and it’s already been renewed for a second season.

What other shows have you been watching lately? Any good binge-worthy recommendations? You know I’m always on the hunt for my next favorite! xoxo

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Leave a Comment Filed Under: Entertainment and Media, Humor, must-watch, television, TV, Uncategorized

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So About What I Said is a daily blog that covers relationships, disabilities, lifestyle and pop culture. I love to laugh and have been known to overshare. I also have an unabashed obsession with pop music, polo shirts, and PEZ dispensers. Read more...

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