Behind The Blog: Living Life The Write Way

Last week, I posted my interview with Karis Rogerson, the amazing writer and blogger behind Living Life The Write Way — how cool is that name? Perfect, right? Well, today, I’m so excited to share a peek into Karis’s world and writing life. She’s got such wonderful tips to share, and I’d love to just sit down with her in a coffee shop and chat about blogging all afternoon. Plus, she was raised in my dream country! Take it away, Karis…

Quick facts:

Name: Karis Elizabeth Rogerson


Birthday: May 10th, 1993


Where are you from: I was born in Columbia, South Carolina, but raised in Italy. My parents work with a small evangelical church there and we moved around the country a bit. I did most of my schooling in public schools, although from 10-12th grade, I was at boarding school in Germany.


3 words that describe me: Let’s see…sassy, sarcastic, scared


Occupation: Student and freelance writer


Blog: Living Life The Write Way


When did you start your blog: I began the blog three years ago, as a sophomore in college. I wrote sporadically and would go months without posting, but now I’m back up and running and posting twice a week — profiles on Wednesday and thoughts on writing on Saturday.

What inspired you to start a blog?
It was perhaps less inspiration and more being told it was something I should do for my career. I’ve wanted to be a writer since I was in probably the second grade and studied journalism in undergrad as a way to get there and make money while my books were marinating in my brain :) So I started the blog as a way to showcase my writing, have fun and grow my online persona.


What do you love the most about blogging/writing? Does anything about it stress you out?
The best thing about blogging is when a post does well. It’s stressful, though, because sometimes I’ll write a great post and it’ll fall flat; other times, I’ll write what I think is mediocre and it just does really well. So there’s a lot of mental rearranging, figuring out what works where and what people want to read. The profiles have been successful! They average about twice as many views as the regular posts, and they’re so much fun to write.

If you had to describe your blog in one sentence, what would you say?
Ruminations on living a life of writing.

What has blogging/writing taught you?
Everything. Writing is my soul, I say. It does something to me, soothes me, gives me a jolt of adrenaline, heals me, in a way I haven’t experienced through anything else. I’ve done some video editing for school and as fun as it is, it doesn’t have the effect on my heart and soul that writing does. Writing is my greatest joy. What has it taught me? It’s taught me openness and vulnerability; it’s given me the ability to share and express my empathy in ways others seem to understand. Writing is…magic.

What advice do you have for new bloggers/writing?
Just put yourself out there. It’s hard, and it’s slow-going at first, but if you remain consistent and stay open and put yourself into it, you’ll be successful in the end.

Where do you see yourself and your blog in 5 years?
The dream: as a published author and successful journalist with thousands of followers, still writing my profiles and ruminating on writing. The reality? Well, I like to think in terms of dreams until reality slaps me in the face and makes me reconsider my dreams.

What has surprised you the most about blogging?
People! I’m what I like to call an optimistic pessimist, the pessimistic part being that I don’t trust people and expect them to hate me. Some of them have — but most haven’t, and that’s been a joy to experience.


Thanks so much, Karis! Be sure to check out her blog and follow her on Twitter, Facebook and Instagram! Would you and your blog like to be featured in a future Behind The Blog post? I’d love to have you, so email me at mellow1422@aol.com — looking forward to hearing from you, friends! xoxo

Thoughts on Writing

It’s not often that I find myself on the other side of the interview (my nosy self is so used to asking the questions!), but that’s exactly where I found myself a couple weeks ago when fellow writer and blogger Karis Rogerson invited me to be a part of her interview series. Excited, I gave an enthusiastic, “Yes,” and before I knew it, a list of questions showed up in my inbox.

I never think I’ll have anything meaningful or worthwhile to say — and that people will actually want to read — but I found myself getting into a groove as I was writing. Apparently, I have lots to say, on everything from writing to my disability to evil haters. You can read the full interview, but here’s my favorite part…

I may be in a wheelchair, but when I’m writing, I’m not tied to anything. I can truly express myself and that is such an incredible feeling…One of my favorite things in the whole world is working on a piece of writing, being vulnerable in my words and then sending those words out into the world. It can be nerve-wracking wondering how people will respond, but that’s part of the excitement for me. I’ve always believed that a writer’s job is to make people feel, think, react, so whether those reactions are good or bad, I know I’ve done my job.

Exciting and nerve-wracking, indeed! But, as I’ve said many times before, I can’t imagine doing anything else with my life. I mean, really, in what other job can you be so honest-bordering-on-TMI and not get sent a-packing? My point exactly.

Read the rest of the interview here, and as always, I’d love to hear your thoughts! Thanks so much, Karis!! xoxo

P.S. Thoughts on blogging as a job! :)

[Photo via We Heart It]

My Essay on Marie Claire: “My Dad Got Cancer…and I’m Still Picking Up the Pieces”

Exciting news, friends: I had a new essay published on Marie Claire last week! I’m pretty proud of this one because it explores just how much I wanted my grief to “fit in” somewhere after my father’s death. I needed to feel like I belonged somewhere — anywhere — and that there was a safe place where my emotions could be understood.

Here’s an excerpt from the essay, which also got picked up by Good Housekeeping over the weekend…

A few years into my grief, my mom and I attended a National Survivors of Suicide Day conference in Chicago, a day where survivors come together to share their stories and give support to one another. While I listened to everyone’s stories, I couldn’t help but feel out of place. It was as if I was looking into a world full of these experiences that had nothing to do with my life — I just couldn’t identify with anyone, even people who had lost a parent.

When it was my turn to speak, I shared my story, but I felt like it wasn’t really “my story.” They were my words, sure, but this was the story of someone else’s life, not mine. It was as if I was sitting outside the scene and looking in; everything was so remote, so foreign, so unfamiliar.

In fact, I didn’t seem to fit in anywhere. My father had cancer, yes, but that’s not technically what he died from — so was I really a member of the cancer survivors community too? And although he committed suicide, he’d never had a history of mental illness, so how could I be the traditional survivor of suicide? In grief, feeling like you fit in somewhere — anywhere — is a very powerful and necessary thing, so to feel like I was alone was even more isolating.

I’d wanted to connect so badly to something, anything, that would make me feel like I was understood. My father was gone and my grief was real — and more than that, it mattered. My family understood, sure, but for some reason, I wanted everyone else to understand as well. I started feeling like I was trying desperately to still connect with my father, to bridge my former life with the one I’m living now.

You can read the full essay here and I’d love to hear your thoughts. Feel free to email me anytime at mellow1422@aol.com and let’s chat! And of course, feel free to share my essay on Facebook, Twitter or even your local refrigerator. If you share on Twitter, be sure to tag me @melissablake so we can connect! I can’t wait to hear from you! Love you all… xoxo

P.S. Catch up on past essays: I’m Physically Disabled, But I Want Love, The One Thing That Helped Me Heal From My Dad’s Suicide and My Father Committed Suicide, But He’s Still My Superhero.

My Essay on Cosmo: “My Father Committed Suicide, But He’s Still My Superhero”

I’m SO excited to share my newest essay on my father’s suicide for Cosmo! It went live yesterday, and I think it turned out really well. As I was reading it over again (I’m not the only one who does this, right?), I couldn’t help but notice that maybe, just maybe, I’ve progressed on this whole grief journey I’ve been on for the last 13 years. I’ve written a lot about suicide and it’s aftermath, but this essay felt a little different. For the first time, it touched on coming to a bit of closure — well, I suppose, as much closure as you could ever get following the suicide of a loved one. But it’s a start, right? And that’s what’s most important to me.

Here’s an excerpt from the essay, which also got picked up by Redbook and Woman’s Day…

Maybe that’s the thing about suicide: It’s ugly. It’s messy. It’s complicated. And, as we learned, it doesn’t discriminate — it doesn’t care if you’ve had a perfect life or if you’ve been happy every day of your life. And in it’s aftermath, as my anger eventually turned to sadness, I began to see that suicide isn’t just something that happens to the person who dies. It happens to everyone around them. It’s a family disease, creating ripples that are felt and carried by the survivors for the rest of their lives.

I like to think that if my father had the choice to go back in time, he would do things differently. I have to believe that because if I let my mind wander too far into a dark place, I start to wonder: Why? Why did my father, the ultimate family man, take his own life? How could he just leave us like that? Did the treatment cause damage to his frontal lobe, the part of the brain responsible for impulse control?

We’ll never know and that’s left a permanent hole in my heart.

For those left behind, life is never the same and sometimes, you find yourself struggling just to hang on. Maybe I’m not drowning in the grief anymore, but it is with me. Every day. Everywhere I go and everything I do. Still, I try not to let it eat me alive either.

You can read the full essay here and I’d love to hear your thoughts. And, PLEASE, never forget that there is help out there. Don’t be afraid to speak up and seek help if you or someone you know is depressed or suicidal. Call the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline at 1-800-273-TALK (8255).

P.S. Feel free to email me anytime at mellow1422@aol.com and let’s chat! And of course, feel free to share my essay on Facebook, Twitter or even your local refrigerator. If you share on Twitter, be sure to tag me @melissablake so we can connect! I can’t wait to hear from you! Love you all… xoxo

Inspiring Letters From Readers

It’s no secret that I was a bit afraid once my first piece went live on Cosmo last month. Granted, I’m not the least bit apprehensive about putting it all out there on So About What I Said because I’m so proud of the safe and positive space we’ve created here — and, yes, of course I say “we” because you’ve all been such an integral part of shaping this blog and making it what it is today.

Anyway, back to those uneasy feelings. It’s one thing to put my feelings here, which is something I’ll never stop doing, but it’s quite another to send your thoughts and story out into the world without knowing how they’ll be received.

Thankfully, there were only a few nasty comments about my essay (tip: Reading Facebook comments is never a good idea), but what really touched me were the emails I received from readers. Many wrote to say that they could identify with my story. I’ve always felt so different because of my disability, so to hear that maybe I’m not so different after all was such a joy. I asked a few readers if I could share their words, and they were game! Here are their inspiring words…

–“It was really inspiring to read your article on Cosmo. I have a brother with a disability who often thinks the exact same thing. He is amazing and I’m sure that you are too! Your disability doesn’t make you imperfect; if anything, it makes people even more beautiful! I just wanted to thank you for telling your story because it was really special to hear! I know that it can be really hard not to listen to the voice in your head, but please don’t because I know you have inspired so many people and that a physical disability will never make somebody not beautiful!”


–“I just wanted to tell you that your article on cosmopolitan.com was amazing. I don’t have a disability, but I’m overweight and wanting to be loved by others has been a lifelong battle for me. I think your beauty is something you should be proud of. You’re beautiful inside and out. I hope you find someone who enhances all the great qualities you have. You are such an amazing, inspiring and beautiful person. Thank you for sharing your story.”


–“I am so proud of you. Even before you wrote for Cosmo, I was going to write you and tell you that you were doing so great. I know it is not easy being disabled; in fact, it’s a hard fact but should not be used to define us. We are proud women and proud women stand up and take the challenge. It’s not the hand that was dealt to us, but what we do with it that matters. A lot. All this crap about leaving the house and finding a man is just so many bubbles in the wind. You would make ANY man proud. You are honest with your feelings and know yourself, and not many women can say that. You hug yourself because if I were there, I would be hugging you!”

Thank you, everyone!! I just felt like giving the world a gigantic fist pump after reading their messages; I even saved them for those days when Anonymous decides to make his next appearance.

What’s on your mind these days, friends? Happy? Sad? Stressed? All of the above? You know my inbox is always open, so email me sometime! My email is mellow1422@aol.com and let’s chat, OK? LOVE YOU ALL… xoxo

[Photo via We Heart It]