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Wednesday, June 1, 2016

My Essay on Dr. Oz’s The Good Life: “I Was a Medical Mystery”

I’m really proud of my newest essay, friends! I got to write about my medical days, which is one of my favorite topics, and it brought back A LOT of memories, to say the least. The piece How Doctors Almost Missed the Fact That My Spine Was Compressing My Brain Stem ran on Dr. Oz’s The Good Life last week and the one thing I kept thinking as I was writing it?

“Has it really been 22 years already?“

Alas, it has! Here’s an excerpt of the essay, which sort of reads like an episode of Grey’s Anatomy…

By this point, all my fears had vanished; I just wanted to get this surgery over with and know that everything was going to be OK. The long surgery was a success, and I had rods placed in my neck to fuse the rest of my spine and keep it from compressing my brain stem. Afterward, the neurosurgeon told us that when he removed the spine from the brain stem, the brain stem vibrated for more than 10 minutes because it had been under so much pressure for so long.

I spent three months at home recovering before going back to school. I had to wear a halo frame to keep my neck still while everything healed, but thankfully, everything healed and life slowly but surely went back to normal for me.

Looking back now, 22 years later, I have no doubt that it was my parents who saved my life with their insistence that I get an MRI. They never once wavered or blindly accepted the doctors’ excuses and assertions.

You can read the full essay here and I’d love to hear your thoughts. Feel free to email me anytime at mellow1422@aol.com and let’s chat! And of course, feel free to share my essay on Facebook, Twitter or even your local refrigerator. If you share on Twitter, be sure to tag me @melissablake so we can connect! I can’t wait to hear from you! Love you all… xoxo

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1 Comment Filed Under: Brain Surgery, Disability, family, My Other Freelance Writing, Uncategorized, work

Thursday, May 26, 2016

My Essay on Woman’s Day: “How Coming Off Antidepressants Taught Me to Give Myself More Credit”

Did you know that May is Mental Health Awareness Month? Obviously, this is a topic near and dear to my heart, so I was really proud to see my newest essay How Coming Off Antidepressants Taught Me to Give Myself More Credit go live on Woman’s Day this week. I wrote about the experience of deciding to come off some of my medications following my depression. It’s been a journey and one I’ve been wanting to talk about. I’ll no doubt be writing more about it in future blog posts, but this essay serves as a good overview!

Here’s an excerpt of the essay, where I unleash my trademark honesty…

To my relief, the meds continued to work, and life settled into a comfortable, familiar rhythm. So when my mom first suggested that I think about going down on my dosage, I was very hesitant. After all, I liked how things were now; why should I change a good thing?

“You’re on a lot of medication, and of course you needed it when your depression was so acute,” she said. “But you’re out of the woods and doing so well these days. Just think about it.”

She had a point. It had been nearly five years since I was hospitalized. For some reason, though, despite improving, I continued to cling to those pill bottles; they’d become some sort of security blanket. Maybe I couldn’t live without them.

My biggest fear was relapsing and ending up back in the hospital — having to drudge back up that mountain of recovery for a second time was just too overwhelming to even think about. I’d become afraid of who I was with the medication and even more afraid of who I’d become without them.

But maybe I could live — even thrive — without them. Maybe, at long last, it was time for a change. Those meds had saved my life and were there at a time when I needed them most, but you know what I’d also realized over the last few years? I saved my own life, too.



You can read the full essay here and I’d love to hear your thoughts. Feel free to email me anytime at mellow1422@aol.com and let’s chat! And of course, feel free to share my essay on Facebook, Twitter or even your local refrigerator. If you share on Twitter, be sure to tag me @melissablake so we can connect! I can’t wait to hear from you! Love you all… xoxo

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Leave a Comment Filed Under: anxiety, depression, grief, Happiness, My Other Freelance Writing, Uncategorized, work

Wednesday, May 25, 2016

5 Things I’ve Learned About Blogging

The Internet moves at lightning speed and is always changing (sorry, Hotmail…), and sometimes, it’s enough to make your head spin. It can be wild and unpredictable, but it can also be magical and beautiful. It’s beautiful in unexpected ways.

At least that’s how it was when I fell in love with blogging. Nearly eight years ago, I started So About What I Said, where I write about disabilities, relationships, lifestyle and pop culture. I had graduated college a few years earlier and was working part-time as a college newspaper adviser while also trying to get my freelance writing career off the ground. At the time, starting a blog seemed like the next logical step to take; having a place to showcase my writing, I figured, was the first step in the right direction. So one late-fall day in November, I found myself sitting at my computer, my hands poised over the keyboard. I knew it was now or never, so I took the plunge and hit ‘publish’ on my first post. It was brilliantly titled First Post.

I had a lot to learn.

Thankfully, things only improved from there, and over the years, I’ve learned a thing or two along the way — everything from writing skills to dealing with haters to my surprising interest in fashion. If I could go back in time and give Melissa 2008 some advice, these are the five things I’d tell her (well, me)…


Blogging takes planning before you even hit publish on that first post
Blogging is so much more than quickly typing some missive and hitting publish, especially if you’re serious about the potential longevity of your blog. I had to decide what blogging platform to use first. I’ve had success with Blogger and even hired a designer in 2013 to give my blog a makeover and give it a more personal and professional touch. Aside from the technical decisions, it’s important to spend time planning the editorial side of your blog. Before I even chose a platform, I spent more than a month deciding on the nuts and bolts of what I wanted my blog to be. Things like: what would I name it, what sorts of things I would write about, how I wanted the design to look. My creative side enjoyed this part of the process almost as much as actually writing that first post.

Blogging takes hard work
Yes, this one sounds obvious, but blogging is about more than simply posting and waiting for readers to find you. In the beginning, I worked just as hard on getting my blog out there as I did writing each post. I commented on other posts in my niche. I guest posted for other bloggers. I maintained an active presence on social media. And of course, I made sure to post quality content consistently. Once I got into a rhythm, my blogging game really started moving forward.


Blogging success doesn’t happen overnight
There are those out there who claim that they got rich quick from blogging, but that’s not how it really works. I worked hard to grow my blog for a good two years before I even began thinking about monetizing it. When I did start making money, I had the most success with sidebar ads; I worked with small business owners, many from Etsy, and charged a monthly rate to advertise and host a giveaway. Each month, I worked with anywhere from 10 to 20 advertisers, and it was nice to finally see a more steady income.

Blogging about a topic you’re passionate — and knowledgeable — about is key
I knew that it would be painfully obvious if I was writing about something I didn’t care about; heck, it would be pretty boring, too. So I made sure to choose topics I loved and topics I myself would want to read. I wanted to give my blog an overall magazine feel as well, so I launched three recurring series early on, which quickly became reader favorites: Letters To My Future Husband, Love Lounge and MEMO TO MEN.

Blogging doesn’t guarantee that everyone is going to like you
Here’s the radical idea — that’s perfectly OK. In fact, you should even expect that. People will not agree with every post you write, but that doesn’t mean you shouldn’t write them. Take some time, think about their criticism and where it’s coming from. If you think it’s warranted, take steps to change. If not, in the words of Taylor Swift, “shake it off.” Haters gonna hate, right?

The bottom line: You and your blog are a brand. If you’re looking to build a successful, profitable and long-lasting blog, it’s essential to start thinking in terms of being a business, but I also learned to balance that with producing content I could be proud of. I’m excited to see where blogging goes in the future. I’m sure of one thing, though: It’s bound to be one wild ride on the Information Superhighway.

Are you a blogger, friends? What lessons have you learned over the years? What advice would you give to those just starting out? And, what’s your blog address? I’d love to read it… xoxo

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Leave a Comment Filed Under: behind the blog, blogging advice, Blogging Club, Uncategorized, work

Monday, May 23, 2016

My Essay on HelloGiggles: “What My Grandmother’s Stories Taught Me About Life and Love”

I got a nice little surprise on Saturday afternoon, ironically, as I was furiously working on a new essay: My essay “What My Grandmother’s Stories Taught Me About Life and Love” went live on HelloGiggles! I’ve been wanting to break into this awesome site for awhile now (way to go, Zooey Deschanel!), and the fact that I got to do it with a piece about my grandmother just makes it extra special. It’s weird because you’re never really aware of the impact your loved ones have had on you until they’re no longer here. As I’ve gotten older, I’ve been thinking more about my grandparents and all the good times we shared. My favorite part of those visits?

All. The. Family. Stories. She had literally thousands of them, and I never got tired of hearing them.

Here’s an excerpt of the essay, and I’m SO happy they used my grandparent’s wedding photo (side note: The photo almost didn’t happen until someone said, “you need a photo on your wedding day!” This is the only one they have from that day)…

Maybe her influence is even part of the reason I became a writer. Stories are powerful. Sharing who you are is powerful. Being brave enough to be vulnerable is powerful. My grandmother was all those things.

Hearing those stories as a kid, I appreciated them simply as a look into my grandmother’s life when she was young. But now, I can’t help but see the sneaky little tricks she pulled on us. She was telling amazing stories, sure, but more than that, she was sharing her wisdom and teaching little life lessons along the way. About finding out who you are. About running full-speed ahead after your passion. About living fearlessly. About falling in love and not looking back. It takes courage to do that, and I’m grateful every day for the courage my grandmother passed on to me. Be brave. Be you. And tell lots of stories.

You can read the full essay here and I’d love to hear your thoughts. Feel free to email me anytime at mellow1422@aol.com and let’s chat! And of course, feel free to share my essay on Facebook, Twitter or even your local refrigerator. If you share on Twitter, be sure to tag me @melissablake so we can connect! I can’t wait to hear from you! Love you all… xoxo

P.S. Make sure you hug your loved ones extra tight today!! :)

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Leave a Comment Filed Under: A Woman's Word, family, Happiness, HelloGiggles writing, How To Live A Happy Life, inspiring women, Love Lessons, work

Wednesday, May 18, 2016

My Essay on POPSUGAR: “4 Things I Want Men to Know About Women With Disabilities”

AHHH!! I’m so excited, friends! I’ve been wanting to make this announcement for weeks and now I finally can…

Guess what???

I’m now officially a contributor to POPSUGAR! I pitched them an essay idea last month and it went live yesterday on their — surprise, surprise! — Love vertical. I’ve been realizing lately how much I love writing about the intersection of love and disability, as well as where I fit in to all that. I know I’ve been writing about this topic for almost eight years here on the blog, but I feel like I’m taking it to the next level.

Here’s an excerpt of “4 Things I Want Men to Know About Women With Disabilities,” which has already been shared 26 times…

It used to be that society’s perception of the disability community skewed more toward the negative. People with disabilities were seen as weak and dependent, living out their days sitting in their wheelchairs with a blanket over their lap and not doing much of anything productive or worthwhile. Sadly, for some reason, that image has stuck around longer than it ever should have.

NEWS FLASH: These sorts of misconceptions are just that — misconceptions. They’re at once antiquated and damaging, not just to those with disabilities, but to society as a whole. They’re insulting in their sweeping generalization and chooses to focus on the disability at the expense of the person.

You can read the full essay here and I’d love to hear your thoughts. Feel free to email me anytime at mellow1422@aol.com and let’s chat! And of course, feel free to share my essay on Facebook, Twitter or even your local refrigerator. If you share on Twitter, be sure to tag me @melissablake so we can connect! I can’t wait to hear from you! Love you all… xoxo


P.S. Catch up on more disability and love talk! :)

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1 Comment Filed Under: Disability, Love Lessons, My Other Freelance Writing, POPSUGAR writing, Uncategorized, work

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So About What I Said is a daily blog that covers relationships, disabilities, lifestyle and pop culture. I love to laugh and have been known to overshare. I also have an unabashed obsession with pop music, polo shirts, and PEZ dispensers. Read more...

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