Tip: What if we lived in the present?

My mom used to have this light blue magnet prominently displayed on our refrigerator. I often thought she put it there because that’s where we’d see it the most. On the magnet, printed in tiny white letters, is one word. It’s a simple word, actually.

Focus.

Now, truth be told, I did laugh a time or two at just how much power this little magnet seemed to hold for my mom. But looking back now, maybe there’s some truth behind it. Are we as focused on the present as we could be? And what’s more, what’s stopping us from, well, just stopping? Even if only for a little while.

I know what you’re thinking because I’ve thought it too: We humans are busy people. We have a lot of things to juggle, like family, work, school, some semblance of a social life. It can be a lot. In fact, we show no signs of slowing down — if the past is any indication, the future will be a whirlwind world of speed, speed, speed. But what if we lived in the present? Sure, it might take some training on our parts to re (focus!) our brains, but something tells me that it would be worth it in the long run.

I admit, this is something I still struggle with, but I’m really trying to live in the moment lately. Now yesterday, not tomorrow — and especially not five years from now. So maybe my mom’s little magnet made a pretty big difference after all.

So, tell me, friends, what are YOU doing to live in the here and now? Have you noticed a positive change in your life from it? What sorts of things do you worry about when you start looking ahead? How do you pull yourself back to the present? I’d love to hear your tips! xoxo

[Photos via We Heart It]

Tip: 10 reasons your thirties is your breakout decade

The thirties often get a bad rap. They’re seen as a time of limbo, of being caught between wide-eyed innocence and self-assured maturity. It’s a time of being, as Britney once put it, not a girl, not yet a woman.

Smack in the middle of it all.

And really, I have to agree. I thought that turning 30 would come with some big, crystal-clear realization about life and how to live it. Honestly, I didn’t even really feel that different. Was I missing something? Some key link to the next level? Had my membership card gotten lost in the mail?

A few months ago, Jezebel, in an attempt to give us aimless thirtysomethings a bit of direction, declared your thirties as the Do-or-Die Decade…

When 40 became the new 30, 30 became invisible. It’s a decade of major transition, a bridge from the broke hot mess of your 20s to the fabulousness of your 40s. Or when ‘Mean Girls’ graduate to ‘boring bitches.’ At least that’s one of the perceptions that hurts the pre-middle age group. Thirty-somethings are overshadowed by the antics of the 20-something “Girls” and the 40-something “Real Housewives” because, pop-culturally speaking, the best material is born from ‘having nothing’ (20s), ‘having it all’ (40s) or ‘losing it all’ (40s divorcee).

YES!! This is exactly how I’ve been feeling lately. Overshadowed. I’m the Jan Brady of ages. Maybe you’re in a similar boat, and since we’re all in this crazy journey together, here are 10 reasons to love your thirties…

1. You can go to bed as early as you want and not have to justify it to your friends,


2. Suddenly, cats make the best of friends. Where have these glorious creatures been all my life?


3. You either become the cool older cousin or the hip aunt.


4. You realize that it’s OK to stand your ground = FREEDOM!


5. You can finally embrace your quirks.


6. You start to realize that maybe your parents were right about some things.


7. You let go of those lingering existential crises.


8. You aren’t as afraid of the “S” word — single.


9. Your passions excite you.


10. You aren’t considered a true cougar…yet.

If you’re in your thirties, what do you love about the decade? What’s been your favorite age so far, friends? Any tips on surviving any decade? Let’s chat! xoxo


P.S. I’m thinking of making “10 reasons…” a permanent series on So About What I Said. What do you think? I’d love to hear your thoughts and suggestions! :)

4 Life Lessons From Taylor Swift’s “Shake It Off”

Unless you’ve been living under a rock for the last month, chances are you’ve heard Taylor Swift‘s “Shake It Off,” the unbelievably catchy first single from the singer’s upcoming fifth album. Maybe you’ve even seen the equally peppy and catchy video, in which Swift shimmies and, well, shakes through a fun array of scenarios.

Shake it off. Shake it off. Shake it off. Shake it off. Shake it off. Shake it off. Shake it off.

The song’s message is clear. In fact, it only takes Swift three simple words to get to the heart of her newest memo to the world. Much has been said — and even more written, for that matter — about this song, but there’s one undeniable truth that shines above it all: Life lessons pour out of every word and note. Four life lessons, actually, as far as I can tell…

1. Hater’s gonna hate: An obvious one, I know, but it’s true. In life, there are just some people that are going to hate you, no matter what you do. You won’t be able to please everyone, and once you learn that, you’ll feel like a huge weight has been lifted off your shoulders. It’s extremely freeing to just 100 percent NOT CARE what people think about you. Trust me. That’s not to say that you don’t take people’s opinions into consideration — you just don’t let their words and their voice flood your head and make you doubt yourself. You’ve found that perfect balance, and it’s quite a happy spot to be in.

2. It’s OK to try something new: It can be scary — I know about that all too well. But who you were doesn’t have to be who you are forever. And who you are now certainly doesn’t have to be who you become in the future. I mean, Taylor is embracing her new pop sound in favor of her classic country past despite some detractors (read: haters), so I figure we should all take her cue and do something that re-energizes us. Maybe a career change is just the thing you need to get that spark of creativity back, or maybe reconnecting with old friends is just the ticket. What I’m trying to learn is that just because you’ve always done things a certain way doesn’t mean that it’s set in stone. Become a rolling stone!

3. Be yourself and don’t apologize for it: Those same haters will no doubt try to knock you down and change you. At the very least, they’ll leave you questioning yourself, but DON’T LET ME. Here’s a little secret I’ve learned: That’s how they win. The bullies only come out on top if you stop being yourself. Don’t give them that power. It’s not worth it. I promise.

4. When in doubt, just dance: Dancing can solve an immense number of problems in life, both large and small. When you don’t know what to do, just let loose for a few minutes and I guarantee you things will begin looking better and brighter. And to the haters who will say, “But, Melissa, you can’t dance…”? Well, I’ve mastered the art of chair dancing, and it’s become my jam. You should see me.

In the end, it all simply boils down to this: Just shake it off. Shake off the haters. Shake off the unrealistic pressures and expectations. Shake off the fear. Shake off the doubt. It’s the only way to make room for you! What are you waiting for, friends? xoxo

Found: 6 affirmation stones

How awesome (and inspiring!) are these affirmation stones from Etsy shop umbrellafant? Such sweet and simple words, but so powerful and meaningful at the same time. If only we all lived by these mantras! They’d be the perfect cure for all those Monday blues, don’t you think, friends? xoxo

P.S. A new Letter To My Future Husband is coming up soon!

P.P.S. Remember my Daily Affirmations series?

Wise Words From Readers: On looking into the future…

The future can be a scary thing — and an exciting thing at the same time. It’s at once unpredictable and limitless in possibilities. It’s daunting and a clean slate all at once. We can’t help but think about our own future — sometimes more than we’d care to admit. Maybe we’re curious. Maybe we’re trying to plan our future and all the things we’d like to accomplish. Maybe we’d just like to daydream for awhile. Whatever the reason, you all had quite the opinion when it came to your own futures this week, specifically, your future five years from now…

*Either in Kenosha, Wisconsin, or in some place warm in the winter! Teaching, of course!

*Wishes or reality?

*I see myself in the same place I am now, and instead of feeling discouraged by this, I feel happy because I am finally at a place where I am content to be, after the chaos of the last 13 years!

*I see us selling our house and moving to a home where the yard is taken care of.

*I’m pretty happy in my day-to-day life…just so grateful for good health right now.

*I may be living overseas. I am looking into it as we speak. I thought of Italy first — Amsterdam second. We’ll see. France is a possibility too. Or Grand Cayman — loved it down there! Or British Virgin Islands. Loved that too.

*Hopefully in a suburb of a large city with lots of museums and fun stuff to do! I hate crowds and traffic, but want to be close enough to take my kids to plays, museums, festivals, etc.

*Just hope I am alive, which would mean I beat the odds.

*I hope in five years to have accomplished: finally completing school so I can teach, have another baby and to buy our own home!

For me, five years ago, in 2009, seems like a lifetime in the past. I’ve changed so much since then, and yet, the core of who I am has remained the same. In five years, I’d like to have finally started writing that book I’ve been thinking about forever, but perhaps more importantly, I’d just like to still be as happy as I am right now. It’s the simple things, isn’t it? Anyway, here’s next week’s question…

Describe your dream vacation — what would you do? Where would you go? What would you see? Who would you like to go with you?

Visit So About What I Said on Facebook and Twitter to share your smarts — and don’t forget to use hashtag #WiseWordsFromReaders. See you there, friends! :)

[Photos via We Heart It]