PSA: Never Forget Your Worth…

In light of the utterly demeaning words spoken by a certain someone recently, I feel it’s my duty as a LOUD AND PROUD WOMAN to counter those lies with a hard-hitting dose of truth. Because truth always trumps hate — pun intended!

And, well, the massive amount of truth in poet Della Hicks-Wilson‘s inspiring words is overflowing. They practically leap off the page, just screaming to be read, heard and understood. They’ve been ignored far too long and are dying to break. It’s all too easy to passively absorb the messages society throws at us every single day — words of expectation, of how women are “supposed” to be, “supposed” to look and “supposed” to live, words of superficial meaning. Maybe most importantly, though, they’re words that serve as a distraction and try to take your attention away from what really matters in life.

But those words? Oh, those are the dangerous ones. Those are the lies that somehow get in our head and prey on every one of our insecurities. They make us question everything we’ve ever thought about ourselves and the very way we view others and the world. I’m always telling Janelle that she needs to stop looking at herself through a fun house mirror — you know, the kind of mirror that twists and distorts everything into all sorts of unrecognizable shapes. It’s a trick and one she, sadly, falls for every single time. I know that it can seem like society throws up one fun house mirror after another as we walk along this path called life, and it’s something I’m constantly fighting to push out of my way — maybe even kick if I’m feeling extra angry that day.

So, what CAN we do, I’ve often wondered? I certainly don’t have it all figured out, but I think it has something to do with celebrating WHO YOU ARE! Stop focusing on those extraneous things that don’t matter. Don’t limit yourself. And dammit, play that ‘woman car’ every chance you get because you’re strong, sexy, smart, brave and so many other things some people will spend the rest of their lives just wishing they could be. Play the card they’re not expecting. After all, that’s pretty beautiful, isn’t it?

Like the words of the poem, our beauty and worth is as infinite as the sky. Infinite as the sky, indeed… xoxo

Inspiring Words on What Truly Matters

As we trudge through the week, I thought we could use a little inspiration on this Wednesday afternoon. Have you ever had one of those moments where you stop and think, “What truly matters to me in life? When I’m 90 years old, what are the important things that I’m going to want to remember?“

It seems like those sorts of questions are always on my mind, which is probably why the above quote spoke to me so much. It’s so easy to fall into that trap of getting bogged down by all the day-to-day stresses and annoyances of life — you know, those little things that seem so big at the time. It’s easy to feel like they’re all going to swallow you in one fell swoop. But it’s in those crazy moments that I try — key word is try here since I’m, well, not always successful — to pull myself back and think about the big picture.

Is it worth it?


Is it important?


Is it something I’m making far too much fuss over?

Nine times out of 10, the answer is “No,” “No” and “Yes” to all three questions. I’m still learning to re-frame my thoughts (thank goodness for therapy, right?), but I’m happy with the progress I’ve made. I mean, you do have to start somewhere, right?

What helps you re-frame your thoughts, friends? How do you stop yourself from spiraling down into an obsessive loop? Or maybe that’s just me? No, no, it can’t be just me…right?? xoxo

Love Lounge: Wise Words on Beauty

Do you ever come across a quote that just practically screams out, “THIS WAS WRITTEN FOR YOU!!!”??

That’s the exact thought that went through my head when I found the above quote. I even thought it in big caps, too, because it so succinctly captures so much of what I’ve been feeling lately — about love, work and life in general. We’re so hardwired to think of beauty in terms of something pristine and untarnished looming above us on a pedestal. By virtue of it being beautiful, we also assume it must be perfect.

True beauty is pure perfection. If it’s beautiful, it must also be pretty. The two are forever linked and you can’t have one without the other.

So we find ourselves desperately trying to live up to that unreachable standard, no matter how unrealistic it may be, no matter how many hoops we have to jump through. We will be perfect, we think, and once that happens, EVERYTHING will be perfect.

But here’s what I’m discovering: It’s impossible. It’s an impossible feat. Because being human doesn’t really lend itself too well to being perfect — or even being anywhere close to perfection. We’re flawed creatures, aren’t we? After all, we’re not robots who can be programmed to do certain things or say certain things at specific times, and even if we were, I don’t think that would be much of a life. Life, to me, is IN those tiny imperfections, in those moments that maybe aren’t fairy tale-worthy and in the midst of those times when all you can do is think to yourself, “Oh, man, I just want to forget all about this.”

We make mistakes. We stumble. We fall.

The beautiful part — WE GET BACK UP AGAIN. We don’t let anything keep us down for too long, and that’s pretty awesome, if you ask me. And besides, I’m a very big fan of another certain quote about beauty…

Flawed is the new beautiful.

It’s got a nice ring to it, don’t you think, friends? So embrace your ‘flaws’ and love all those imperfections. They make you who you are — a beautiful, complicated, REAL person.

So, tell me, how do YOU stop yourself from always trying to live up to those crazy standards of perfection? Are there certain mantras that have helped you over the years? Why do you think it’s so hard to silence that inner voice that is constantly telling you to be perfect? xoxo

[Bottom photo via We Heart It]

Taking a Spring Break

Good morning, friends! I hope you had a great Easter. You know I ate too much sweet and delicious candy — why does Target have to enable me so darn much?

Anyway, I’ve been thinking a lot about this the last few weeks when planning my work schedule and I’ve decided to take this week off. My mom is on spring break and since it worked out so well when I took a mini vacation over Christmas, I thought now would be the perfect time to take a “spring break” of my own. You know, to rest, relax and recharge those creative juices. So although I won’t be around these parts much this week, I might do a few miscellaneous odds and ends from my “whenever to-do list” — that long list of things I keep meaning to do when I have time. Or maybe I’ll just drink root beer and watch Netflix all day, which I’m most definitely NOT opposed to in the least. I mean, it is vacation after all.

Meanwhile, if you’re in a blog-reading mood, feel free to browse the archives for a peek into my mind and life. And, just for fun, here are some of my favorite quotes from some of this year’s posts so far.


“I maintain that the Art of the Date needs to make a comeback. True, I may not have had my first yet, but when I do? I want it to be an event. A romantic dance, if you will. After all, a date shouldn’t just be something you do to pass the time or because you’re bored. It’s something special and therefore should mean something, you know?” —Love Lounge: Four Relationship Trends We Need In 2016


“Plus, let’s not discount their sexy brains, which is what really got me in the end. They attracted me faster than an ant to a Snickers bar on a hot summer day, and I wanted to bottle up all that hot, sexy brain essence and save it for a rainy day.” —On My Habit of Falling In Love With Medical Residents


“But in the grand scheme of things, what about the simpler things in life? Shouldn’t those have an equal position in the Game of Love too? Things like being someone’s safe landing place, the place where they can let their guard down and not be afraid to be themselves. If you ask me, being someone’s soft and cozy blanket is the ultimate; it makes everything look superficial in comparison. There’s power in making someone feel safe and feeling safe in someone else’s arms, and I can’t help but feel like people are too quick to dismiss that power sometimes.” —Letters To My Future Husband: Letter #177


“OK, let me just be perfectly clear here: I’m seemingly unable to resist falling for these types. I know it’s wrong. I know things will just end in heartbreak. I know we’d never be on the same page about anything. And yet, for some weird, mysterious reason, I get it in my head that it will be different with me. Oh, yes, I wholeheartedly believed in that fantasy. I was going to save that Lost Boy and turn him into a Found Man; it was going to be such a beautiful experience that we share together. I was going to get him to finally open up to me, revealing his true self at long last and we were going to live out our days in glorious happiness.” —MEMO TO MEN: What’s Up With ‘Lost Boys’?


“Before you know it, you hopped yourself up on one too many caffeinated root beers and find yourself spilling your life story to the Best Man when he’s just trying to get out on the dance floor as the DJ leads a rousing rendition of the Conga Line. It’s not pretty, you eventually realize, and you leave the wedding the same way you came — at the end of your very own metaphorical Conga Line.” —Love Lounge: Never Get Involved With Someone You Meet…


“Although it’s not all of me, my disability is a big part of who I am. To get to know me is also getting to know my disability and what role it’s played in my life. Some people may very well say that I shouldn’t focus on my disability so much, that I’m making it more of an issue than it needs to be and I’ll potentially make someone more intimidated just by talking about it in the first place. What do I think of that? That’s a bunch of hogwash — pardon my language, but that’s the truth.” —MEMO TO MEN: 5 Disability Questions To Ask Me

Remember, though: The year is still young, my friends! Have a great week, and I’ll see you right back here next Monday for our regular schedule. I love you all… xoxo

Letters To My Future Husband: Letter #179.

Dear Mr. Melissa Blake:

I was just about to call it quits for the day and head to bed (shhh, don’t go getting any crazy ideas now, Sweetpea) and what should I find?

This amazing quote.

That’s been happening a lot to me lately. I’ve been discovering so many quotes that speak to me, and I’m not just talking about romantic ones, either. There have been plenty of quotes about love, of course, but there have also been lots of quotes about life and self-discovery and following your passion and being true to yourself and…well, I could go on, but I think you get the idea here. Suffice it to say, all that sage wisdom made me feel inspired to take on the world. Or at the very least, think about my place in it.

Which, I suppose, brings me back to this quote. I can’t help but feel like it could have been written just for us. I know this might come as a shock and be hard for you to believe, but I haven’t always been the adventurous person I am now, wherever we are when you’re reading this. Honestly, before we met, I was pretty, well ordinary and — as some may even say — rather boring. I didn’t take many risks. I didn’t feel brave enough or even confident enough to take huge leaps. And I didn’t really see the point of rolling my wheel very far outside my comfort zone. I mean, that’s why they call it a ‘comfort’ zone, isn’t it? It cozy and relaxed and familiar; you feel safe and nothing will ever surprise you or come jumping out to scare you. Honestly, since my father’s death, I sort of like cozy and predictable.

But maybe you can help me spread my wings when it comes to living a little on the wild side? No, I’m not talking about breaking the law or anything because I will always be a good girl; I’m talking about learning to live a little. Like that quote says, I want us to run together and have grand adventures. You could be the Jack to my Rose and show me a world I’ve never seen before — and I promise I’ll make room for you on that wooden door.

Because when you think about it, shouldn’t that be what marriage is all about? Making each other want to be better people, to grow, to evolve, to see life — and themselves — differently? Otherwise, what’s really the point of it all, aside from the tax deductions? I want to inspire you and I want you to inspire me. That is, after all, the definition of a true partnership, don’t you think? And I’ll settle for nothing less than that. Until we meet… xoxo

[Bottom photo via We Heart It]