Tip: What if we lived in the present?

My mom used to have this light blue magnet prominently displayed on our refrigerator. I often thought she put it there because that’s where we’d see it the most. On the magnet, printed in tiny white letters, is one word. It’s a simple word, actually.

Focus.

Now, truth be told, I did laugh a time or two at just how much power this little magnet seemed to hold for my mom. But looking back now, maybe there’s some truth behind it. Are we as focused on the present as we could be? And what’s more, what’s stopping us from, well, just stopping? Even if only for a little while.

I know what you’re thinking because I’ve thought it too: We humans are busy people. We have a lot of things to juggle, like family, work, school, some semblance of a social life. It can be a lot. In fact, we show no signs of slowing down — if the past is any indication, the future will be a whirlwind world of speed, speed, speed. But what if we lived in the present? Sure, it might take some training on our parts to re (focus!) our brains, but something tells me that it would be worth it in the long run.

I admit, this is something I still struggle with, but I’m really trying to live in the moment lately. Now yesterday, not tomorrow — and especially not five years from now. So maybe my mom’s little magnet made a pretty big difference after all.

So, tell me, friends, what are YOU doing to live in the here and now? Have you noticed a positive change in your life from it? What sorts of things do you worry about when you start looking ahead? How do you pull yourself back to the present? I’d love to hear your tips! xoxo

[Photos via We Heart It]

Tip: 10 reasons your thirties is your breakout decade

The thirties often get a bad rap. They’re seen as a time of limbo, of being caught between wide-eyed innocence and self-assured maturity. It’s a time of being, as Britney once put it, not a girl, not yet a woman.

Smack in the middle of it all.

And really, I have to agree. I thought that turning 30 would come with some big, crystal-clear realization about life and how to live it. Honestly, I didn’t even really feel that different. Was I missing something? Some key link to the next level? Had my membership card gotten lost in the mail?

A few months ago, Jezebel, in an attempt to give us aimless thirtysomethings a bit of direction, declared your thirties as the Do-or-Die Decade…

When 40 became the new 30, 30 became invisible. It’s a decade of major transition, a bridge from the broke hot mess of your 20s to the fabulousness of your 40s. Or when ‘Mean Girls’ graduate to ‘boring bitches.’ At least that’s one of the perceptions that hurts the pre-middle age group. Thirty-somethings are overshadowed by the antics of the 20-something “Girls” and the 40-something “Real Housewives” because, pop-culturally speaking, the best material is born from ‘having nothing’ (20s), ‘having it all’ (40s) or ‘losing it all’ (40s divorcee).

YES!! This is exactly how I’ve been feeling lately. Overshadowed. I’m the Jan Brady of ages. Maybe you’re in a similar boat, and since we’re all in this crazy journey together, here are 10 reasons to love your thirties…

1. You can go to bed as early as you want and not have to justify it to your friends,


2. Suddenly, cats make the best of friends. Where have these glorious creatures been all my life?


3. You either become the cool older cousin or the hip aunt.


4. You realize that it’s OK to stand your ground = FREEDOM!


5. You can finally embrace your quirks.


6. You start to realize that maybe your parents were right about some things.


7. You let go of those lingering existential crises.


8. You aren’t as afraid of the “S” word — single.


9. Your passions excite you.


10. You aren’t considered a true cougar…yet.

If you’re in your thirties, what do you love about the decade? What’s been your favorite age so far, friends? Any tips on surviving any decade? Let’s chat! xoxo


P.S. I’m thinking of making “10 reasons…” a permanent series on So About What I Said. What do you think? I’d love to hear your thoughts and suggestions! :)

Tip: 5 things NOT to worry about…

Last week, we talked all about the 10 things it’s OK to obsess over, so this week, I thought it would be fun to discuss the little things in life that we can stop worrying about already. These minor things somehow got on our Must-Worry List (you have one of those lists, right? Please tell me I’m not the only one…), and more often than not, these worries tend to get lodged in our brains and get stuck there. So we worry and obsess. Worry and obsess.

What would people think? Am I the only one who does this? What does this say about me?

Those are the types of questions that keep swirling around in my head. I’m sure you’ve got your own set of questions, friends, but guess what?? It’s time TO STOP! Here are 5 things you can stop worrying about TODAY…

To believe wholeheartedly that one or two (or three…) peppermint patties in the morning is for medicinal purposes: Hey, it’s dark chocolate. Science has proven dark chocolate is good for you.

To sometimes watch The CW more than CNN: Because after a long week, sometimes you’d just rather watch the adventures of hot vampire brothers (helllooo, Stefan and Damon…) than the misadventures of Washington’s elite.

To prefer to spend time with your cats on the weekend: Let’s face it, they’re the only animals on the planet who love you unconditionally and actually appreciate your quirks.

To perfect your Oscar acceptance speech in the mirror: Hey, a girl’s got to be prepared for these things! You don’t want to be reduced to a blubbering mess someday, do you?

To spend the afternoon sprinting through the park and going down the huge slide, multiple times: You don’t remember the last time you smiled so much or laughed until your stomach hurt. Best. Day. Ever.

What’s on the top of your Don’t Worry List? Has the list changed over the years? Any other advice, friends? xoxo

[Photos via We Heart It]

Tip: 10 (fun!) things it’s OK to obsess over…

Truth time: I’ve been known to obsess just a wee bit sometimes. Books. Polos. Mr. Melissa Blake. Chuck Bass. Yup, I can obsess with the best of them (thanks, mom, for those obsession genes!), and while I generally don’t advise using all that brain power in the name of obsession, sometimes we just can’t help it, can we? And so I give you, friends, 10 (fun!) things it’s OK to obsess over…

1. Memorizing all the words to your favorite song: Because sometimes, the perfect song can help us through anything.

2. Your favorite childhood TV show: Because it just doesn’t get any cuter than those little blue Smurfs! Or ALF, for that matter.

3. Soaking up every last drop of summer sunshine: Because you almost feel a sense of responsibility to follow Sheryl Crow’s advice.

4. Your crush’s cryptic status update: Because figuring out what it means might just be the key to the entire universe — OK, probably not that extreme, but it’s still bugging you nonetheless!

5. Choosing the perfect song lyric to use as your Facebook status: Maybe said crush will figure out it’s your cryptic message to him.

6. Your 10 a.m. Diet Coke break: After breakfast, it’s the most important part of your morning, after all.

7. Organizing your Pinterest boards: Because an organized Pinterest is a happy Pinterest. Priorities, people!

8. Getting your grandmother’s famed cookie recipe just right: Because they remind you of telling family stories around the table during the holidays.

9. Sleeping in on Saturday mornings: Because if you’ve learned anything over the years, it’s that a little extra sleep can solve a lot of life’s problems. Enough said.

10. Your blog: Because it’s always there to listen and never judges you or your collection of cat sweaters.

Ahhh, the mind can be quite the tricky thing, can’t it? What fun things are you obsessing over lately, friends? Any fun recommendations? xoxo

[Photos via We Heart It]

Tip: Words of encouragement

Ever since my mom (finally!) started texting last year, I’ve made a habit of sending her little notes during the day. Little pep talks, if you will, like, “Hi, Ms. Bear. Hope you’re having a good day” or “Hi, Ms. Bear…make sure you’re taking care of yourself today” — that last one is a favorite of mine if she has been especially frenetic lately and doing too much, which she has been known to do a time or two or a hundred.

Well, she’s been returning the favor by sending Janelle and I inspirational quotes she finds. She sent us these words of wisdom on Facebook last week…

Do not ask your children 

to strive for extraordinary lives. 

Such striving may seem admirable, 

but it is the way of foolishness. 

Help them instead to find the wonder 

and the marvel of an ordinary life. 

Show them the joy of tasting  

tomatoes, apples and pears.Show them how to cry 

when pets and people die. 

Show them the infinite pleasure 

in the touch of a hand. 

And make the ordinary come alive for them. 

The extraordinary will take care of itself. 

–William Martin, author of The Parent’s Tao Te Ching: Ancient Advice for Modern Parents

Honestly, those simple words almost brought tears to my eyes. Not because I was utterly shocked by my mom’s feelings or taken aback by her admission. I suppose it just reminded me how lucky I’ve been to have these amazing parents in my life. I’ve seen parents that put such extreme pressure on their children — an overflowing plate of busyness: Sports, lessons, extracurricular activities five days a week. It’s all…just…so…much. Sure, it’s important to guide your children and help them reach their full potential, but there’s a line. I’m thankful that my parents seemed to instinctively know exactly where that line was and never crossed it.

Words are powerful. And sometimes, the simplest words are the most powerful and the most encouraging. Their impact can be life-changing — a heck of a lot more life-changing than that South American cuisine cooking class.

What do you think, friends? Give someone a few encouraging words today. I think you’ll be surprised at the impact they make… xoxo

[Photos by Charles Gullung]