Ravishly writing Archives - So About What I Said

Tuesday, May 28, 2019

My Essay on Ravishly: “Why It’s Powerful When Celebrities Like Britney Spears Talk About Mental Health”

May is Mental Health Awareness Month and the more we talk about mental illness, the more we start to break the stigma. I was honored to write this piece about how powerful it is when celebrities like Britney Spears are open about their own struggles…

It definitely makes us feel less alone, doesn’t it? We often think that celebrities are these larger-than-life figures who are immune to everything. We see the fame, the glitz and the glam and start to think that their life is perfect. But, to quote famed magazine Us Weekly, stars really are just like us! They have their own struggles, and, sadly, all the money in the world can’t protect you from things like mental illness.

Here’s an excerpt of the piece, in which I recall, with exceptional clarity, the exact moment that I discovered the greatness of Britney Spears and became a super huge fan…

Instead, the pop star chose to be open about the bad times as well as the good, and in doing so, she further found her voice. She also helped fans find their own voices. That sort of candidness from a celebrity is both powerful and empowering, especially in a society where there are still so many misconceptions and misunderstandings about mental illness.
Even in 2019, we still live in a world where…people who struggle with mental health are seen as “weak” or looked down on when they can’t “simply get over it.” That sort of shame can be crushing and can make people feel like they need to be silent.
While she’s a world-famous icon, Britney’s willingness to be open and honest shows that, above all, she’s human. That vulnerability is just as fierce and refreshing as her music. And it will never go out of style.

You can read the full piece here and I’d love to hear your thoughts. Feel free to email me anytime at mellow1422@aol.com and let’s chat! And of course, feel free to share my essay on Facebook, Twitter or even your local refrigerator. If you share on Twitter, be sure to tag me @melissablake so we can connect! I can’t wait to hear from you! Love you all… xoxo

Wednesday, July 25, 2018

My Essay on Ravishly: “How Watching Dawson’s Creek Brought Me Closer To My Dad”

Would you believe that I actually forgot to share one of my published essays, friends?!? Well, I did — that’s certainly a first! But maybe it’s fate because my father’s birthday is tomorrow and this essay for Ravishly is all about one of my favorite traditions with him: Watching Dawson’s Creek together!!

Everyone remembers the sudsy teen soap from the ’90s, right? Oh, it was just great, don’t you think?? The adventures of Dawson and his friends was one of the hallmarks of my teen years and it’s also one of my hallmark memories…with my father! I sometimes think he actually liked the show more than I did. We’d watch it every week together and debate the finer points of the plot. Looking back now, I truly treasure those moments we shared together, just sitting in our small living room in each other’s company.

Here’s an excerpt of the essay, which gave me a HUGE dose of ’90s nostalgia as I was writing it…

It wasn’t until just a few years ago, shortly after his death, that everything began to make sense: Dawson’s Creek might not have been his favorite show, but the time we got to spend together for a solid 60 minutes? That was really what he was after. Sure, we’d have fun debates about whether Dawson or Pacey is our favorite (admittedly, I’ve waffled over the years, but always seem to come back to Dawson), but the older I get, the more I realize just how quickly time goes by. Life is hectic and messy. So many things are out of our control. My father knew this, so when he saw an opportunity to sprinkle some moments of happiness into the messiness, he grabbed onto that.
I never want his death to overshadow how he lived and all the things he taught me. We might not have talked much during those episodes of Dawson’s Creek (confession: I spent much of the hour swooning over Dawson), but we were together. For a whole hour, there was this unspoken bond between us.

You can read the full essay here and I’d love to hear your thoughts. Feel free to email me anytime at mellow1422@aol.com and let’s chat! And of course, feel free to share my essay on Facebook, Twitter or even your local refrigerator. If you share on Twitter, be sure to tag me @melissablake so we can connect! I can’t wait to hear from you! Love you all… xoxo

Monday, January 29, 2018

My Essay on Ravishly: “Why Logan Paul’s Suicide Victim Video Hurts People Like Me”

My first byline of 2018 also happens to be on a subject close to my heart. I got to write a response to YouTuber Logan Paul’s suicide victim video and the damage it can do to survivors of suicide like myself. As someone left in the wake of suicide’s devastation, I’m appalled that anyone would think this type of video is acceptable. The second I heard about this video, I knew I had to write about it.

And then last week, Paul released a PSA video, which fell flat to many people, including myself. Nice try, but one video does not make Paul a suicide prevention advocate! A calculated PR stunt has NOTHING to do with raising suicide awareness and EVERYTHING to do with the fact that he’s obviously learned nothing from all this… #TooLittleTooLate

Here’s an excerpt of the essay, which made me realize that I really like writing these more timely pieces and hope to write more this year…

But as is often the case when celebrities are caught behaving badly, Paul’s words and YouTube’s actions are too little, too late. Because things aren’t nearly as easy for people like me.
Unlike Paul, survivors of suicide can’t just delete a video or close our laptops and just go on to something else.
As much as we can “move on,” whatever that means, we will always carry the pain of our loss wherever we go and whatever we do. There’s no “out of sight, out of mind” for us, and, sadly, there never will be.
Suicide is devastating, plain and simple. But what’s even more troubling in all of this? Paul’s seeming inability to realize the full ramifications of his actions, despite taking the video down and issuing an apology. Because for me, suicide isn’t something that can be dealt with in a simple apology video. Maybe Paul’s intentions were good, and maybe he really has learned a valuable lesson in all of this. I just wish the trauma felt by suicide survivors didn’t come at the expense of his “lesson.”

Please, please remember that suicide is nothing to make light of or use for shock value. There are people behind each suicide. And if you’re suffering, know that you’re not alone…help is available! Call the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline at 1-800-273-TALK.

Wednesday, June 14, 2017

My Essay on Ravishly: “What I Realized About My Last Name After My Father’s Death”

Since my father’s death in 2003, holidays have been hard. Really hard. There’s nothing more bittersweet than remembering the happy times and realizing that those times are gone — you’ll never see them again and it makes your heart sting with sadness. One of the most bittersweet holidays, at least for me, has always been Father’s Day. No one took the job title of “Dad” more seriously than my father; you could just see the glimmer of joy in his eyes whenever he spoke of his role. Maybe that’s why I realized something pretty major after his death: What my last name means to me!

And even more exciting? I got to write about it for Ravishly, just in time for Father’s Day! My essay “What I Realized About My Last Name After My Father’s Death” went live yesterday and in it, I reflected on my changing perspective on my last name over the years. It’s gone from pure hatred (It’s boring! It’s bland!) to a deep appreciation. I began to realize that my last name is a part of me and it’s a part of my father’s legacy. It keeps me tied to him.

Here’s an excerpt of the essay, which sort of felt like a pep talk to myself as I was writing it. I mean, the ending is pretty much golden, if you ask me…

My father may have been gone, but he was still here. My name connected me to him, and that realization was incredibly powerful. Maybe, in the end, it’s more about what your last name represents. It shows your history. It shows where you came from. It’s part of your past.
My last name links me to my father. Every time I see it, every time I write it down, I think of him. It helps me keep him alive in my soul, and it makes me feel like I’m carrying a part of him with me wherever I go.
Slowly, I could feel that anger begin to soften a bit. It no longer ate away at me the way it once did.
That last name doesn’t seem so bland or boring anymore. Because at the end of the day, Melissa Blake is strong. Melissa Blake is fierce. Melissa Blake is independent. Melissa Blake is who I am and who I always will be.

Wednesday, May 17, 2017

My Essay on Ravishly: “What It Feels Like Getting Bullied On Social Media”

Remember last month when I wrote about that unfortunate incident on Twitter in which a bully ridiculed my looks? It was a sad situation, but rest assured, friends! I did what I do best and got my feelings out in a new essay! Why? Because getting bullied on social media should never happen to anyone!

My essay “What It Feels Like Getting Bullied On Social Media” was published on Ravishly last week and I’m really proud of how it turned out. Although I was a bit scared to share my story and be raw to the whole world, I knew that it was something I needed to do. As I’ve found time and time again, the vulnerability was so freeing. It felt as if I was letting go of all those negative emotions. I was able to say #ByeFelicia to that misguided bully once and for all.

Here’s an excerpt of the essay, in which I warn of the dangers of letting your online persona bleed into your real life…

Unfortunately, the Web moves fast, and as blogging became more mainstream, the culture of the Internet was born. Comments sections flourished and became the millennial generation’s answer to the malt shop.
It wasn’t long before I started noticing a trend, though. It was a subtle shift at first, quickly morphing into an alarming phenomenon that couldn’t easily be ignored. Everyone seemed to have an opinion — on what I did, what I didn’t do, even something as innocent as my love of Mountain Dew. Otherwise harmless conversations became observations. Observations became criticisms. And criticisms became hate. To say that these words didn’t hurt would be a lie. They did hurt, yet I became pretty good at shrugging them off as nothing more than mindless hate from some Internet trolls.
You can set the tone. You can set an example. You can show people that there’s a right and wrong way to treat others. This goes for both online and offline interactions. What happens when who we are online becomes who we are offline, in the “real world”? What happens when we start tossing around hate and insults in real time?