Can I be realer than real for a minute here, friends? We’ve talked about bullying a lot over the last 8+ years (and more recently about recognizing your self-worth!) and, by golly gee, I’ve had my fair share of critics over the years, but an incident yesterday took the cake. Or rather, it made me stop and go, “Umm, NO! I most certainly will not stand for this…what is this world coming to?” Which is why, today’s lesson calls for a few thoughts on bullying and social media…
After I tweeted my thoughts on recent incident involving two YouTubers (a guy attacked a girl), saying how disgusting it is that the guy is blaming the victim. Apparently, not everyone agrees with me, as evidenced by the hateful diatribe I received. I suppose it was just another day of fighting off the haters. Don’t worry, I blocked the person…but am NOT above putting them on blast, which I proceeded to do on both Facebook AND Twitter. This person eventually deleted the tweet, but I won’t lie and say it didn’t hurt. Because it did. It hurt in the way that someone you don’t even know would be so quick to make an assumption about you and judge you.
It hurt because I know this type of thing isn’t merely an isolated incident. It happens far too often — and with far bigger consequences for some people. And yet, our first instinct is to recoil in terror and simply look the other way. I’ll admit that I’ve been guilty of this in the past — maybe if we don’t look at it, don’t acknowledge it, then perhaps it will just vanish as quickly as it came.
But guess what? It won’t. Here’s the thing: We shouldn’t be afraid to stand up for ourselves. We shouldn’t be afraid to speak our truth. And we most definitely shouldn’t let someone intimidate us into silence. Taking away someone’s voice is one of the worst things you can do. Don’t. Be. That. Person.
And on a larger scale, this brought something into extra-sharp focus for me: Women standing up for themselves is still that’s a bit of a taboo in our society and around the world. Is this why women are so reluctant to speak up? Is this why women don’t feel safe at times?
Don’t be a bully. Be a decent human being instead. I promise, it’s a lot easier and a heck of a lot more rewarding! Remember, use your powers for good. Spread love and kindness!! And…squash hate wherever you see it, friends! xoxo
Tuesday Tunes: Whitney Houston’s “One Moment In Time”
My 100-Word Love Story: On finding my first love
Disabilities In The Media: Superhero window washers
My Essay on Refinery29: Why I Spent A Year Posting Selfies
Dominique says
It makes me angry that people can be so cruel. I’m glad you have the skills to stand up for yourself in situations like this (as there are so many people who don’t). It can be so tricky to be assertive without bullying back. I really hope you don’t take that person’s words to heart xxx
Krysten says
W.T.F. I just CAN’T. WHAT!? Why would someone do this? Why? Ugh it kills me.
Anni says
I’m so sorry that someone would be so cruel to you. You are gorgeous inside and out, and always have a wonderful perspective and way with words. You’re one of my all-time favorite bloggers, and I’m so glad that you aren’t letting a dreadful person like this tear you down. Keep on being your awesome self <3
Rachael @ The Rachael Way says
Melissa, I am so sorry. That is heartbreaking, and kudos to you for being able to be the bigger person. Please don’t stop what you’re doing <3
Alissa says
The world is such a mean place sometimes. I have been bullied when I was young and till now, it hurts whenever I remember it. One time, I’ve had enough of it and stood up for myself. Everyone was appalled. The bullying stopped eventually. Everyone should be taught to be courageous cos bullies are gonna be everywhere.
Taylor Mobley says
I do not understand people these days. Hiding behind the safety of a keyboard. To me, they are cowards. You are beautiful just the way you are, no matter what anyone says. I love your confidence and resilience!
Emily says
I am so sorry this happened to you. I cannot understand what is wrong with people who would be that outright mean.
Pat Blevins says
There are a lot of good people in this world. Loving and caring people. This person IS NOT one of them, you can be sure of that. So sad that a person could be so cruel. Probably doesn’t have many friends…who would want to be friends with such a person? You can take comfort in knowing your loyal readers love and admire you and your wonderful writing skills. Beauty is in the eye of the beholder and we find you beautiful inside and out. May you have a wonderful day.
MelissaBlake says
Friends, I just wanted to thank you again for the love & kind words over the last few days! You’re proving that #LoveTrumpsHate…
Laura says
This is totally unacceptable, but completely unsurprising. The internet is a cesspool these days. I’ve thought about it, and I think society has probably always been this awful, the internet just gives people such an easy outlet. I’m sorry you have to deal with this. Thank you for continuing to share your opinions and stand up for what you believe in.
Terra Heck says
Oh wow, no one should ever tweet or send a message like that! I’m sorry you had to go through that but I’m glad you stood up for yourself.