Will You Be My Valentine?

Be My ValentineHappy Valentine’s Day, friends!! So, I have a very important question for you today: Will you be my Valentine??

I know, I know. This all may be a bit forward of me. I mean, I know I tend to put it all out there on this blog and in my writing, especially where my emotions and feelings are concerned, but I can be a pretty shy, introverted person, to be honest. After all, I’d never dream of just going up to someone and asking them on a date or breaking out in song and declaring my love for someone, but make no mistake! I am a hardcore romantic through and through.

And, really, I’m not just talking about romantic love here. Love is love is love is love. It’s all powerful and all-encompassing, if you ask me. The love of family, the love of friends, the love of our furry friends — it all lifts us up and keeps us going, on Valentine’s Day and the other 364 days of the year. As cliche as it sounds, I just love, well, LOVE!!

Anyway, I suppose that brings me back to that important question I asked at the beginning of this post. We’ve got a pretty powerful and amazing community here on the blog and I’m so glad that we can be here for each other! The world is a dark enough place. I’m so proud of us for spreading lots of love, happiness and light.

Remember those cool Valentines you used to pass out in elementary school? Well, I wish I had one to give to each of you today!! But we have each other — today and every day — and that’s even better, don’t you think??

Be My ValentineWhat are you doing to celebrate Valentine’s Day, friends?? Here’s hoping you’re surrounded by love in all its wonderful and glorious forms!! xoxo

Who Do You Follow on Twitter? Here Are Some Amazing Women…

follow on TwitterHere’s a 2018 confession: I actually like Twitter more than Facebook!! In fact, it’s my preferred social media platform. Even though I’ve encountered my fair share of haters over the last NINE YEARS, the good most definitely outweighs the bad — and, really, who can resist a snappy, 280-character tweet?? So you can probably imagine what a (delightful!) surprise it was to find out that I was included on this list of amazing women to follow on Twitter…

Last month, relationships site Lovey Signs released their list of 100 amazing women to follow, and I’m BEYOND humbled to be included in such an inspiring group. Women who are changing the world, who are experts in their field and, of course, who aren’t afraid to be opinionated and bold! Can you think of a better roster to be a part of?

follow on TwitterWho are you following on Twitter these days, friends? You can follow me here and I’d love to follow you all, so be sure to drop your Twitter link in the comments!!! See you in a future 280-character tweet… xoxo

On the Value of Simply Listening to Someone

Listening to SomeoneI shared this two years ago on Facebook and it’s even more true in light of the past 4 months. The truth is, sometimes people share things and AREN’T looking for advice. Sometimes, they just want people to listen. It seems like such a simple and insignificant gesture, but listening to someone is an incredibly powerful thing!

Don’t be the person that swoops in with unsolicited advice. It’s not helpful. Trust me. In fact, it just makes people more hurt and confused. Sometimes, not everything can be fixed, even though that’s our first instinct is to solve problems right away. We can’t solve everyone’s problems, but we do have the power to ease their burden and fears. We can take some of the weight off their shoulders just by listening.

So, the next time someone comes to you, sit down with them. And just listen. It’ll help them more than you could ever know… xoxo

P.S. What I’ve learned about family closeness…

What I’ve Learned About Family Closeness

family closenessDo you ever feel like family closeness gets a bad rap?? Like it’s looked down upon if you’re too close to your loved ones??

I only ask because I had a rather interesting — and somewhat disheartening — experience while my mom was in Europe last month, and, well, it’s made me think about a lot of things ever since. Things like family and togetherness and other people’s opinions on said togetherness. Needless to say, I learned A LOT about these things while my mom was 4,300 miles away!

On the day she left, I posted a status on Facebook about how much I was going to miss her and how I wasn’t quite sure what I was going to do for an entire week with her gone. It was a genuine expression of exactly how I was feeling at the time — sad, afraid, confused, like a part of me had come undone.

Friends and family commented with things like, “Oh, you should be happy for her!” and “It’s so important for you and your mom to have separate lives…” Now, I’m sure everyone had the best of intentions with these comments, but, honestly, they all just sort of rubbed me the wrong way.

This is what I heard…

–Don’t be selfish

–Buck up!

–There is no reason you should feel that way

Throughout that next week, it started to really sink in: The three of us have worked hard to get to where we are. It wasn’t always easy and at times, things certainly got ugly. There were dark days, days when I wasn’t sure if we’d ever see the light again. Sometimes it felt like we were clawing our way out of the bottomless pit we all fell into after my dad’s death.

We’re not like other families and that’s OK. It’s something I’ve stopped apologizing for. There is no such thing as a normal family and it’s time we stop reinforcing the idea that there is. Because the beauty of family lies in its uniqueness — that’s what makes it special.

It’s not that I wasn’t happy for my mom — of course I was!!! I can be happy for her and still acknowledge that the experience was hard for me. Plus, I think some of it highlighted my disability for me, which I don’t usually even notice, and brought up some issues on that front.

It was enough to make me wonder: When did it become such a bad thing to be close to your family? And why are we sometimes so quick to say that it is a bad thing? My family knows me. They’re the only other people on this planet who have walked this journey with me, through the good times and bad, through the highs and the lows. That’s something I’m going to celebrate instead of feel guilty about.

In the end, it was my mom, naturally, who swooped in with some salient and comforting words just in time!

“There are a myriad of issues affecting our family. It’s all OK. Your feelings are your feelings…we have all come so far since Brian died. I think we are doing great!!! I’m proud of you and of Janelle, and frankly, of myself for how we are all doing.”

She also quoted Frasier, which made me laugh: “‘We’re an odd little family, aren’t we?’ Lol. We are just like the Cranes!”

family closenessAre you close to your family, friends? What do they mean to you? How has your relationships changed over the years? I hope you’re able to spend some quality time with them today — be sure to give them a BIG hug for me!! xoxo

[Top photo via We Heart It]

What Does Feminism Mean to You?

What Does Feminism Mean to YouI’ve talked a lot about feminist issues over the years (and even rounded up some cool feminist fashions!) and, honestly, it’s become one of my passions, especially as I try to navigate this new, post-Election society that can seem downright confusing at times. But I’m wondering: What does feminism mean to you?

I’m forever thinking about this question. I turn it over in my head constantly in an attempt to come to some sort of simple definition — one that suits me and that I can easily wrap my head around. Maybe it’s because I’m sort of obsessed with having some kind of order in my life.

And yet, I’m not sure that something like feminism, which is so important and affects so many people, has a one-size-fits-all definition. At its core, it’s rooted in women being equal to men, so there’s that foundation of equality. But I also think in practice, the concept goes far deeper than that. Feminism is about a society where women are valued and supported and heard. That last one is especially important — feminism is about women having a voice and not being afraid to use that voice. They can be themselves and speak their minds. We all know I’ve had lots of experience with speaking my mind lately, and it hasn’t always been met with support and kindness.

Elisabeth Moss, who took home an Emmy last night for her outstanding performance in The Handmaid’s Tale, once had this to say about feminism, which I think is incredibly spot-on…

“As a woman, now, you have to speak up. You have to own it [feminism] in a way that you never have before. It is different now.”

Even though our society might not be in the most ideal of feminist places right now, that doesn’t mean that we shouldn’t keep striving to get there. One of the worst things we can do — both for us and for the next generation of young women and men — is throw our hands in the air and just give up because things seem too hard or too insurmountable. That’s not who we are. And that’s most definitely not who we want to be, is it?

So…how would you define feminism in 2017, friends? What are the most important aspects of it? Where do you hope to see feminism in 5, 10, even 20 years from now? I’d love for you to share your thoughts in the comments!! #BeBraveBeYou… xoxo

[Photo via We Heart It]