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Thursday, June 18, 2020

What Two LGBTQ Decisions Remind Us About Progress

LGBTQThis week alone, two decisions teach us that when it comes to LGBTQ equality, the road to progress often looks like two steps forward and one step back.

First, the good news — or, the two steps forward: It took 56 years, but kudos to the Supreme Court for FINALLY recognizing that LGBTQ Americans deserve equal protection from employment discrimination under the Civil Rights Act.

Side note, though: Can we please acknowledge the obvious toxic masculinity and male fragility that so clearly played a role in three Supreme Court Justices voting against LGBTQ protections in the workplace???

Remember when Brett Kavanaugh had that huge public mantrum because he didn’t want to lose his job for life on the Supreme Court because of sexual assault allegations??

Yeah, he thinks it’s totally fine to fire someone just based on their sexual preference. That’s rich.

Still, this was a vote toward equality and proclaims, as it should, that LGBTQ RIGHTS ARE HUMAN RIGHTS.

And second, the bad news — or, the one step back: Health care, which should be a basic human right, is in jeopardy once again for LGBTQ Americans. The fact that the Trump administration is taking away health care protections, especially for a group that is already vulnerable, is beyond horrific and inhumane. The fact that they also did this on the fourth anniversary of the Pulse shooting is downright cruel.

Even in the world of pop culture, we’re seeing instances of blatant transphobia far too often. Take author J. K. Rowling, for example, whose recent transphobic rant made headlines. Apparently, she can write 7 books about fantastical faraway lands filled with magic and wizards, but decides that recognizing trans identity is just a bridge too far?? Make that make sense, please, because I’m just confused at this point.

I learned the difference between sex and gender way back in high school. It’s really not hard to understand and the fact that J. K. Rowling continues to perpetuate this transphobic narrative, especially during Pride Month, is incredibly harmful.

TRANS WOMEN ARE WOMEN
TRANS MEN ARE MEN

Learn it. Remember it. Do better.

Charlotte Clymer is one of my favorite people to follow on Twitter. The writer and activist penned an op-ed for USA Today this week about her experiences as a transgender woman. Her piece gets to the heart of the violence and discrimination that transgender people face on a daily basis and how to living in a world not built for them is a constant battle…

Even in places where we have legal protections, I worry about being a burden. I don’t want to cause headaches. I have faced discrimination in places where it was illegal and let it go because I wasn’t sure whether it was worth it. And I feel terrible about that. I feel guilty.

Transgender and nonbinary people are constantly adjusting and revolving our lives around the preferences and feelings of cisgender people, not because we want to do that but because there aren’t enough hours in the day to fight every battle and not enough rights to guarantee our safety.

LGBTQIndeed, if this week has shown us anything, it’s just how important and needed true LGBTQ progress is in this country. There is still so much work to be done, so much hate and discrimination to combat and so many more protections that are needed. Protections that are human rights. Protections that shouldn’t still be absent in 2020.

Whether gay, lesbian, bi or transgender, YOU matter. Your story matters. I love you and I’m here for you… xoxo

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3 Comments Filed Under: civil rights, Health, LGBTQ

Thursday, June 20, 2019

Why Taylor Swift’s “You Need to Calm Down” Is More Opportunist Than Activist

Taylor SwiftLet it never be said that Taylor Swift doesn’t know how to market herself. The pop songstress has spent more than a decade in the spotlight honing and crafting her message, but, ironically, it’s her latest music video for “You Need to Calm Down” that could have used a lot less of Swift marketing herself.

On the surface, the video is a colorful bop taking aim at homophobia and haters, with a name-drop shout-out to GLAAD, a revolving door of celeb cameos and a plea at the end to support the Equality Act, which would prohibit discrimination based on sex, sexual orientation, and gender identity; it would provide civil rights protections in areas such as employment, housing, credit, education, public spaces and services, federally funded programs, and jury service.

Swift’s petition in support of the Equality Act has reached more than 350,000 signatures, and while it’s encouraging to see such support for civil rights, the singer’s new video just seems to hit all the wrong notes. Both the song and accompanying music video feel incredibly off-key and tone deaf. While the pop star’s intentions were for the release to be this huge LGBTQ anthem, the execution delivers a muddled mix that felt more opportunist than genuine activist — one that more often felt insulting and harmful to the very community she seeks to help.

Full disclosure: I say this as a former Swiftie, the name used to describe Swift’s legion of fans. There was a time when I’d listen to her albums on repeat and spend hours decoding her autobiographical lyrics; I appreciated and applauded her authenticity. But that authenticity never seemed to extend beyond her music. Over the years, unlike other musicians, Swift remained tight-lipped when it came to social issues. Only last year did she dip her toes in the political waters for the first time by breaking her silence during election season — it was a move that was met with criticism by some, who said it was too little, too late. Last fall, I wrote this blog post about her not speaking out when it came to political issues.

Taylor SwiftWhile Swift’s political silence was bad enough, it’s her statement with “You Need to Calm Down” that feels incredibly misguided and damaging. A Vulture headline asked the pointed question, “Where Is Taylor Swift Going With This?” and, well, that’s exactly what I’ve been wondering myself. Don’t get me wrong: We desperately need allies and activists. We need people like Swift using their platform to raise awareness and advocate for equal rights for LGBTQ people.

But for all of Swift’s desires to be that ally, the video shows us that Swift still has a lot to learn. For one, she seems to conflate her experience with criticism aimed at her as a celebrity and public figure with the long history of very real systematic hate, discrimination and violence that happens daily against the LGBTQ community. I get it. No one likes to be the subject of criticism — we all know I’ve been there many times. But the two are not the same and they never will be. It’s insulting and disrespectful to equate the two.

There’s also an incredibly danger in Swift centering herself in the video, like when she and longtime rival Katy Perry donned burger and fries costumes and hugged it out as a way to tell us they’ve put their feud behind them. All that seemed to just detract from the more important messages of the video. And, her seemingly using an entire community of people as a prop or a gimmick screams cultural appropriation at its finest; there’s advocating for a marginalized group and then there’s profiting off a marginalized group, and Swift’s video felt very much like the latter.

Taylor SwiftWhile I’m glad to see Swift (finally!) taking a stand, the optics of “You Need to Calm Down” wasn’t the way to go about it. As Vox’s Rebecca Jennings wrote…

These are questions that relate to the value of allyship in general — what purpose does it serve, exactly, for a pop star who has built a career on breathlessly romanticizing straight relationships to take on the mantle of gay rights? This isn’t so much about artists having to “stay in their lane” but about the fact that maybe there is a better way for Swift to support social causes instead of putting herself in the center of them.

It’s been 13 years since her first single — from singing about real-life experiences with heartfelt lyrics to co-opting cultures? I just can’t get behind this new Taylor Swift. She needs to check her privilege and her platform. In the end, I can’t help but notice the irony of the song title itself.

You need to calm down…

Maybe Taylor Swift should take her own advice.

What are your thoughts on the song and video, friends? Have you been a fan of Swift through the years? Do you think this new era of hers will create lasting change? Let’s chat… xoxo

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Leave a Comment Filed Under: civil rights, LGBTQ, music

Monday, June 3, 2019

Motivational Quotes Monday: Pride Month Reminds Us That We Need Equality NOW

Happy Monday, friends, and welcome to the month of June! And happy Pride Month!! I’ve been loving seeing everyone share stories on social media, and I’m so proud to be an ally of the LGBTQ community!! Now more than ever, we must shout from the rooftops…LOVE IS LOVE IS LOVE IS LOVE IS LOVE IS LOVE IS LOVE IS LOVE. It’s such a fundamental, basic human right, you know? Love whoever you want. Freely and without shame! People should have that freedom, and it’s an incredibly sad reality that they don’t in 2019. We need to do everything we can to change that and to create a safe space for those who are LGBTQ. So for today’s motivational quotes, here are five quotes all about the power of Pride Month…

Pride Month Pride Month Pride Month Pride Month

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2 Comments Filed Under: civil rights, LGBTQ, Quotes

Tuesday, June 26, 2018

5 Ways to Make a Pride Month Fashion Statement🌈

Pride Month FashionHappy Pride Month, friends!! June has always been my favorite month, and not just because we celebrate the official beginning of summer. I love it because we also celebrate the LGBTQ community and continue spreading #LoveIsLove to the entire world! But what I’m really loving this year? The fact that you can make a Pride Month fashion statement AND make a difference at the same time!

There are a host of awesome fashion finds that will directly support organizations working to end discrimination and inequality. What’s more stylish than supporting LGBTQ rights? Here are 5 pretty pieces that give back in a big way, starting with this women’s J.Crew X Human Rights Campaign “Love first” T-shirt ($34.50), with 50 percent of the purchase price going to the Human Rights Campaign…

Pride Month FashionMadewell x Human Rights Campaign Love To All canvas tote bag ($10), with 50 percent of the purchase price going to the Human Rights Campaign

Pride Month FashionThe Future Is Equal tee ($19.95), with 100 percent of sales benefiting the It Gets Better Project

Pride Month FashionMade For Love canvas tote ($12), with 100 percent of proceeds going to The Trevor Project

Pride Month FashionLove Is Love t-shirt ($34.50), with $5 from each sale going to Free & Equal, a U.N. Human Rights Office campaign

Pride Month FashionFeeling inspired and fashionable yet, friends?? I hope you’ll take some time before the month ends to be an ally to the LGBTQ community. As an ally, I see you. I support you. I love you. I’m here for you. Happy Pride!

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Leave a Comment Filed Under: fashion, LGBTQ, Shopping

Monday, April 1, 2013

Must-see: TIME magazine covers

Have you been following the groundbreaking, history-in-the-making coverage of the discussions taking place in the Supreme Court over marriage equality? Well, to celebrate the milestone, TIME magazine features profiles of gay couples in this week’s issue. The cover story, shot by photographer Peter Hapak, gives readers a peek inside the lives of couples from California and New York…
Christopher & Jake: “We met in Brooklyn in 2008 and we pretty much knew a week in that we wanted to spend the rest of our lives together. Getting married always seemed like something that wasn’t an option and never would be so we tried not to think about it too much. We knew we were happily committed and we made do with that. Now, just because of the way things are changing so quickly, we might get married.” –Christopher
Elaine & Mignon: “For me, marriage was the natural next step in the progression of our lives together. Marriage represents stability. After getting married I found that people had more respect for our union, and it gave our relationship a greater sense of legitimacy in society.” –Elaine
Miguel & Alexander: ““When we had our commitment ceremony, I have to say I was overwhelmed by how incredible the experience was. As a young gay man coming out, like many others, I struggled with my family’s lack of understanding. Having our families and loved ones there, supporting us and being so incandescently happy for us, was truly remarkable. For my family specifically, it really set it in stone for them that this is the person that I love and want to spend my life with.” –Miguel
 
I only have three word: It’s. About. Time. Marriage equality for all has been a long time coming, and, frankly, it’s long overdue in this country. It’s a basic human right, and just seeing Facebook turn red gets me excited for a future of possibilities. Can you feel the excitement, friends? xoxo
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4 Comments Filed Under: civil rights, engagement, family, Inspiration, LGBTQ, Love Lessons, magazines, marriage, Photographs, Uncategorized, Weddings

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So About What I Said is a daily blog that covers relationships, disabilities, lifestyle and pop culture. I love to laugh and have been known to overshare. I also have an unabashed obsession with pop music, polo shirts, and PEZ dispensers. Read more...

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