Tuesday Tunes: Jana Kramer’s “Why You Wanna”

Editor’s Note: Song lyrics denoted in bold italics.

I’m not very good at reading signals. In fact, I never have been. It’s just never come very easily to me. It’s not that I have trouble reading societal cues — it’s just that I tend to think people guys are saying one thing when they actually mean something else.

Does anyone have the Cliff’s Notes for these sorts of interactions? Because, obviously, I could REALLY use them. Like yesterday. That’s literally how bad it is. I mean, it’s no exaggeration to say that I embarrass myself on a daily basis here.

You know I’m a sucker for a solid country love song, especially the ones that tug extra tightly at the heartstrings. Really, the more those songs are about heartbreak, the better! And when it comes to those sad songs, no one does it quite like Jana Kramer…

Jana Kramer’s “Why You Wanna”
From Jana Kramer

Why is it that I have a tendency to get so wrapped up in everything? It’s so easy for me to just lose all sense of emotional control and throw my heart into everything. Without thinking. And all those “signals” I mentioned before? Well, those are as foreign to me as Hieroglyphics! Half the time, I don’t even know what the guy is saying!

Out of all of the places in this little town
Yeah, you had to come walking in here and sit down
I’m hiding and hoping my face ain’t too red
Since we been over, been trying like crazy to get you out of my head

OK, so before you bring the obvious to my attention, YES, I know there was never any sort of concrete relationship to speak of (and, yes, I am referring to a couple people specifically), but I’d argue that is what makes it all the more confusing. When you think about it, if there was a relationship, at least everything would make a little more sense. But here? There aren’t even subtitles. I’m just being thrown a whole bunch of confusing dialogue. Granted, I probably think about it more than I should. I analyze it over and over in my head — and on this blog. What I said. What he said. My awkward body language. The way he gets that mischievous grin on his face just as he’s about to say something funny…

Wait, what was I saying?

Oh, right. I pick apart and dissect every little detail as though it were under a microscope.

So-o-o
Why you wanna
Show up in a old t-shirt that I love
Why you gotta tell me that I’m looking good
Don’t know what
You were thinkin’
You were doing
Moving in for a hug
Like you don’t know I’m coming unglued
Why you gotta
Why you wanna
Make me keep wanting you

And you know what is soooo utterly frustrating? No, more like annoying. Yes, annoying — that’s exactly the right word. The most annoying thing is that I sometimes think he knows just what he’s doing. It’s like he has some big master plan or something. Does that sound paranoid? I don’t mean it to, but, really, it seems like he knows just what to do and say to make me give just one more piece of my heart away. And it’s not like I’m actually giving my heart to him. I feel like I’m throwing it into this abyss — a gigantic black vortex, if you will — and I’ll never get it back.

Why
Why
Why
Would you tell me that you call me up sometime?
Maybe we can get a drink and just catch up
Like that’d be enough
No, that ain’t enough

But I do give my heart away. Even if he doesn’t know it. I shouldn’t. I’ve told myself not to because I know better. I know what will happen, how he’ll walk away after we meet for lunch or something and I’ll be left standing there holding my heart in my hand.

“Can’t you see my heart?” I wish I could scream to him. “IT’S RIGHT HERE.” All these things I’d say to him if I could. But he keeps making everything so difficult and complicated. What’s with the mixed messages? I’d sure like to know. They seem pretty pointless to me.

Tuesday Tunes: Jann Arden’s “You Don’t Know Me”

Editor’s Note: Song lyrics denoted in bold italics.

My mom’s always said that I’m a pretty transparent person. She’s mostly right — what you see is usually what you get with me. I’m pretty straight-forward and have never been one to hide my feelings; if you don’t believe me, all you really have to do is read the archives from the last SEVEN years of this blog. That’s a pretty heavy dose of reality right there, isn’t it?

As you can plainly see, I don’t hold anything back.

Except, well, when it comes to certain guys in my life. Oh, I think you know where I’m going with this — Anonymous, I know you do…

Jann Arden’s “You Don’t Know Me”
From My Best Friend’s Wedding

Like any red-blooded American woman, I fall in love crush. And just like everything else in my life, I don’t do it halfway, either. I go all in, head-first, as in there’s-no-going-back-from-here. Yes, some may say it’s all a bit too fast and maybe they’re right, but I like to think I’m just a passionate person. A very passionate person, indeed.

You give your hand to me
And then you say hello
And I can hardly speak
My heart is beating so
And anyone can tell
You think you know me well
But you don’t know me

On the outside, it may look like I’m one of those cool, nonchalant girls who is just soooo relaxed and has it all together. But on the inside? I’m one gigantic mess of feels. I don’t say this lightly, and as you can probably guess, these feels only intensify when I meet a guy who catches my eye. And again, contrary to what some Anonymous will tell you, NO, I don’t go around falling in love with every guy I meet.

There have only been a handful of guys who have really made my heart beat faster, just as the lyrics imply.

No you don’t know the one
Who dreams of you at night
And longs to kiss your lips
Longs to hold you tight
Oh I am just a friend
That’s all I’ve ever been
‘Cause you don’t know me

Every single time, I can’t help but feel like I was a victim of the dreaded friend-zone — that limbo state of confusing, murky water. It’s like you’re drowning in quicksand, and no matter how much you try to give a voice to your feelings, the words just won’t come out.

I never knew the art of making love
No my heart aches with love for you
Afraid and shy I let my chance go by
The chance that you might love me too

So you just sit there, watching the pretty scene pass you by. Maybe someone else has everything you want. You want to just tell them everything, but so much time has passed and you already feel awkward enough, so you keep your mouth shut and pretend that everything is “cool.” All the while, you know that things are most definitely NOT cool, but you don’t know how to change it. You feel stuck there, destined to watch the world go by. Forever.

And now, as I’m writing this, I just realized that I probably gave away all my secrets in this post. Whoops! So much for my poker face, huh? xoxo

Tuesday Tunes: Natalie Imbruglia’s “Wrong Impression”

Editor’s Note: Song lyrics denoted in bold italics.

We’re taking it back this week — all the way back to the early 2000s! I’ve always had a soft, soft, soft spot for female singer-songwriters (Michelle Branch! Carrie Underwood! Norah Jones! Rachel Platten!), probably because they just seem to get it, you know? When it comes to feelings of the heart and all those experiences that can be hard to put into words, something just clicks with them. They sing about my life and what I’m going through, and that’s a comfort I’ve held onto for many, many years. So when I heard Natalie Imbruglia, I was hooked…from the very first second!

Natalie Imbruglia’s “Wrong Impression”
From White Lilies Island

It’s no secret that I sometimes feel, umm, a bit invisible when it comes to the opposite sex. Well, maybe invisible isn’t exactly the right word because they do see me. They just don’t see me, if that makes sense. Not like they see other women, at least, in that, “yes, this could lead to something” sort of way. And, really, I’ve gotten a lot better at accepting that. Do I like it? Heck no. Do I think things should be different? Of course I do. But I realize that I’m not going to be able to change every single person.

Yet, every so often, someone comes along — you know the type — who makes me wish I could change things, makes me wish I could move mountain and societal standards with my bare hands. I’ve been planning on talking more in-depth about this in a separate blog post, but let’s just say a couple guys have come a long in the last few years that, well, made this song VERY relevant.

Didn’t want to leave you
With the wrong impression
Didn’t want to leave you
With my last confession
Of love
Wasn’t trying to pull you
In the wrong direction
All I wanna do is try and
Make a connection
Of love

I’m awkward. I get that. So when I talk to certain guys, I can’t help but feel like they’re getting this glazed, confused look on their face. Sort of like, “Oh, wow, umm, what on earth is she trying to do here?” Maybe I make them a bit uncomfortable? They’re trying to figure me out when all I’m really doing is talking to them — one human just trying to strike up a conversation with another human. I half think they assume I’m some desperate woman looking to latch on to them and never, ever let go, but it’s really not like that. After all, I’m just trying to make a connection, and if you ask me, that can never be a bad thing. Connecting with another person — or trying to, at least — doesn’t automatically mean you want to connect with them romantically. I mean, we all know I would move at a snail’s pace when it came to the eventual relationship, so I’m not exactly going to be diving in head-first here. Let’s just be honest about that, shall we??

Falling out, falling out
Haven’t you wondered
If this was ever more
Than a crazy idea
Falling out, falling out
Haven’t you wondered
What we could’ve been
If you’d only let me in

Think for a moment, though: What if it all wasn’t such a crazy notion? Is it so weird to think that someone like me — a woman with a disability — could be with someone like you? Maybe, just maybe, we could be great together. Heck, ours could be a Love Story for the Ages, if only you’d take a chance and let me in. Think outside your idea of what you’re looking for and see me for who I am. Just for a minute, let your guard down and just talk to me. I promise I’m not as different from other women as I seem. We can pretend all we want that it doesn’t matter, but something tells me you feel something too.

Well, that’s what I’d tell him anyway. I’m sure you all can relate to wishing someone would see you in a different light. After seeing you the same way for so long, it can be hard to take those glasses off, but something tells me it will be worth it in the end, you know? Excitingly worth it! xoxo

I Choose You

Wow! I can’t believe it’s been more than a year since I posted some new lyrics. Well, let’s just say I’ve felt a bit inspired lately. The first few lines of this one came to me as I was brushing my teeth last week — random, right? We’ve all been in a situation where we have confusing feelings for someone and we’re pretty sure they have some sort of feelings for us, but neither one of us had the courage to come right out and say it. So we dance around the issue…for…a…long…time. Although this isn’t completely autobiographical, I can definitely identify with the lack of courage stuff! xoxo

We’ve danced around this for such a long time
We’ve memorized all the moves
You go left, I go right
But one of us is going to have to choose

I don’t mind taking the lead
As long as I know you’ll follow me

Whichever way your arrow goes
I wanna let you know I’m gonna follow
Tell me, can’t you see it in my eyes?
We’re better together
Than our hearts would ever be apart
I know it might seem like such a big surprise
But no matter what we have to go through
This is me saying it out loud
I choose you

It’s like I woke up one morning and my heart’s changed
It beats to every word you’ve ever said
Wondering if you feel the same
Or if these feelings are all in my head

‘Cause it’s not every day that someone comes along
Knowing all the words to your favorite song

Whichever way your arrow goes
I wanna let you know I’m gonna follow
Tell me, can’t you see it in my eyes?
We’re better together
Than our hearts would ever be apart
I know it might seem like such a big surprise
But no matter what we have to go through
This is me saying it out loud I choose you

And I knew we got it right
Knew we got it right
When you showed up on my porch that night
Showed up on my porch that night
You looked me in the eyes and said…

Whichever way your arrow goes
I wanna let you know I’m gonna follow
Tell me, can’t you see it in my eyes?
We’re better together
Than our hearts would ever be apart
I know it might seem like such a big surprise
But no matter what we have to go through
This is me saying it out loud I choose you

Whichever way your arrow goes
I wanna let you know I’m gonna follow
Tell me, can’t you see it in my eyes?
We’re better together
Than our hearts would ever be apart
I know it might seem like such a big surprise
But no matter what we have to go through
This is me saying it out loud I choose you

[Photo via We Heart It]

MEMO TO MEN: 3 frustrations of the ‘friend zone’

MEMORANDUM
TO: Men all over the planet
FROM: Melissa
RE: So about that ‘friend zone’ thing… 
DATE: February 26, 2013
It seems like it was only yesterday, boys, when I was lamenting the many differences between the role of girlfriend and girl friend. Well, if you still don’t believe that the friend zone is an actual thing, it looks like I’ve got science on my side now, errr, I mean the next best thing — The Oxford English Dictionary. The dictionary of all dictionaries recently added the phrase that frustrates so many of us, defining the friend zone as…

A situation in which a platonic relationship exists between two people, one of whom has an undeclared romantic or sexual interest in the other.

See, boys, you don’t understand just how major all this actually is. This is a huge deal, especially for us word nerds. Why? Because if a word has managed to earn its rightful place in the Oxford English Dictionary, then it’s officially a full-fledged phenomenon. But with all big discoveries like this, it’s important to keep a few things in mind as you adjust to the new life paradigm the friend zone brought with it. Here are 3 things you need to know, boys (and yes, I’m perfectly aware that I may be the only girl in the world who holds these beliefs, but that’s OK)…

The friend zone develops over time
Don’t worry; we’re not going to dissolve into a puddle at your feet the first time we talk to each other. Sure, you may be the world’s biggest Casanova, but those romantic feelings have to sprout from a friendship. And friendships take time. It takes talking and getting to know each other and laughing and finding that common ground.

The friend zone isn’t everyone’s ultimate goal
Contrary to what you might hear — or even experience yourself — don’t go into a platonic friendship with the goal of someday, eventually, making it more than that. I’ve had friendships with guys in the past, and in each instance, I never meant to fall in love with them. It just, well, sort of happened over time. And just because we were friends first, my feelings were still very real. Being friends didn’t exactly give my feelings a soft place to land. In fact, being friends gave my feelings a rather thorny and prickly place to land.

We may be friends, but that doesn’t mean you can be careless with my heart
I’d hope our friendship would mean a great deal to you, and that you’d do everything in your power not to break my heart.

Because, when you really think about it, boys, remember that old saying? The best romances start with friendship. Hmmm…I’ll let you think about that one. Until later, boys… xoxo

[Photos via Le Love]