Editor’s Note: Song lyrics denoted in bold italics.

From ’70s singer-songwriters to…some classic ’80s tunes! Or, our hospital songs, as I like to call them!! And perhaps no one personifies the ’80s or our many hospital years better than Mr. Peter Cetera himself!

Peter Cetera’s “The Next Time I Fall”
From Solitude/Solitaire

I mean, his voice is velvety-smooth and, really, there’s just something so epic about love songs from the ’80s, don’t you think? It’s like the songs take you on a grand adventure, through twists and turns of emotions. It can be overwhelming and exhausting, but I’m thinking those two things are sort of what make the best songs in the end.

Love like a road that never ends
How it leads me back again
To heartache
I’ll never understand
Darling, I put my heart up on a shelf
‘Till the moment was right and I told myself

I’ll be the first to admit that I’ve definitely fallen for some downright duds in my day. Honestly, they probably wouldn’t even register on the Dud Meter — that’s how horrible they were. I suppose all those Jerky McJerksters have made me a bit jaded over the years. If you think about it, you can only put your heart out there so many times and have it completely stomped on before you start thinking, “OK, that’s enough! What is wrong with people??” And by “people,” I obviously mean men! Like Cetera sings, I…just…don’t…understand.

Next time I fall in love
I’ll know better what to do
Next time I fall in love
Oh oh oh oh oh oh
The next time I fall in love
The next time I fall in love
It will be with you

But you know what’s pretty great? Maybe all these dud dudes are actually teaching me something. Something very, very valuable, in fact. I mean, they have to serve some sort of purpose, right? If not, that would just be incredibly depressing, you know? Let’s not even begin to go down that road because it’s Halloween and the candy is far too accessible!

Anyway, maybe these bozos are just teaching me about all the things I don’t want and showing me just what I won’t — and shouldn’t!! — tolerate in a romantic relationships. Perhaps it’ll be kind of like process of elimination. You know, getting all the stuff I don’t want out of the way so I can find and make room for what I actually want. And then someday, in the far-off distance, I’ll meet Mr. Melissa Blake, and I’ll know exactly what to do.

The way I see it, it could all be a fun game. Maybe a little like Bingo, where I’m checking off different traits and characteristics until, BINGO, I find him! Or maybe it’ll be when I least expect it. Oh, the possibilities do seem endless, don’t they? Needless to say, it’ll be fun to see where it all leads. May you enjoy your journey as well, friends… xoxo

Editor’s Note: Song lyrics denoted in bold italics.

Apparently, I’m seriously digging the ’70s singer-songwriters lately! Maybe I’m going through a phase? Whatever the reason, I can’t help but feel like this week’s song choice from Cat Stevens is the perfect pick, especially in light of Janelle’s birthday celebration last week…

Cat Stevens’ “Oh Very Young”
From Buddha And The Chocolate Box

As with my last few ’70s favorites, my parents introduced us to the musical stylings of Cat Stevens. My mom told stories of how she used to listen to his records in college, and I could just imagine my mom hanging out with her friends in her dorm room, waxing poetic on the deep, philosophical meanings behind Cat Stevens’ greatest hits. If that’s not a perfect ’70s tableau, then I don’t know what is.

Oh very young, what will you leave us this time
You’re only dancin’ on this earth for a short while
And though your dreams may toss and turn you now
They will vanish away like your dads best jeans
Denim blue, faded up to the sky

In case you didn’t know, I turned 36 this year. I’m quickly realizing that this is sort of a tipping-point age in that you really and truly begin to think about, well, things like age and mortality and your place in this big, wide world. It’s funny because I never really gave much thought to any of it. Even when I was younger and going through the worst of my medical journey, it never, ever dawned on me that my life would be finite. Maybe it was just a case of naive optimism on my part, but I never worried that one of my surgeries would kill me or that I wouldn’t leave the hospital after I’d recovered. I measured my life back then as one long road that stretched out endlessly before me. I was undaunted and unafraid. But that’s how most kids are, isn’t it? When we’re young, we have no concept of just how short and fleeting life is.

And though you want to last forever
You know you never will
(You know you never will)
And the goodbye makes the journey harder still

And when we’re young, we just naturally assume that these good times we’re having will last forever. Sometimes, we even take these idyllic times for granted. It’s only after we’ve gotten older and look back on those days that we realize how awesome they were. As Carly Simon sang, “stay right here ’cause these are the good old days.”

That’s so true, isn’t it? Maybe that’s why I’m not very good with goodbyes. After all, I never have been. I’ve always hated them. It’s like the words get caught in my throat and I…just…can’t…say…them. So when we’re on this journey and we know there’s going to be a goodbye eventually, it sort of casts a somberness to the whole thing. Does it make us not want to be on the journey in the first place? Does it make us not want to get close to people? I’m not sure, but I do know that those are two questions I’ve turned over in my mind A LOT.

For the last few years, I’ve been known to say to my mom, “There’s not enough time.” She usually just looks at me, rolls her eyes and replies, “Oh, there’s plenty of time!” But, really, THERE’S NOT! Life moves so fast (to paraphrase a very-wise Ferris Bueller!), and the grand irony is that we don’t stop to think about life as we’re actually living it. We’re too busy going about our day to stop and think about things, you know?

So…how about we all stop for a minute today, look around and just take it all in? What do you say, friends? Are you with me?? xoxo

Editor’s Note: Song lyrics denoted in bold italics.

Over the last few years, I’ve begun to notice a rather strange trend: Music hits me harder. As I’ve gotten older (umm, hi there, 36…), my threshold for remaining stoic when faced with sad, sappy music has gone WAYYYY down. I mean, it’s gotten to the point now where I practically turn into a blubbering ball of feels by just turning on Sirius Music! And, really, no one quite reduces me to tears as much as one Mr. Gordon Lightfoot.

Gordon Lightfoot’s “If You Could Read My Mind”
From Sit Down Young Stranger

Gordon Lightfoot was one of those musicians my parents introduced me to. They’d tell my sister and me stories of how they used to listen to him “back in the day” and I pictured a bunch of cool cats in the early ’70s sitting around a huge record player — you know, just enjoying the tunes! I quickly fell in love with Lightfoot’s singer-songwriter aesthetic, how he could tell a story with just a few words and a simple melody and how the themes of his music seemed to stand the test of time. After all, if people were grooving to his greatest hits decades after his heyday, he must have been doing something right, you know?

Translation: I’m a Gordon Lightfoot Fan Girl. A proud one, actually. AND…I’m even prouder to admit my fan girl status to the world! #NoShame

If you could read my mind love
What a tale my thoughts could tell
Just like an old time movie
About a ghost from a wishing well
In a castle dark or a fortress strong
With chains upon my feet
You know that ghost is me
And I will never be set free
As long as I’m a ghost you can see

The intrigue! The imagery! I know use the word “haunting” a lot to describe music, but these opening words are haunting, aren’t they? You’ve got old-time movies and castles and ghost; it almost reminds me of a fairy tale. But, it’s a sad fairy tale. Really, imagine feeling like a ghost in your own life — and by ghost, I’m not talking about that dating term all the hipster kids are using these days! A ghost is someone who’s stuck. A ghost is someone who is in limbo and desperately wants to be set free. We all feel like metaphorical ghosts at one time or another, I think. We sometimes even start to feel like nothing we do will ever change how we feel or change where we are in life.

When you reach the part where the heartaches come
Come the hero would be me
Heroes often fail
And you won’t read that book again
Because the ending’s just to hard to take

Ahh, the inevitable talk of heartache. You knew this one was coming, but your heart still sinks when you hear it. Truth be told, I sometimes think of my life as a book of sorts, divided up into chapters of the different stages. And, really, sometimes I don’t want to read that book because I know how parts of it end, especially where my father’s death is concerned — and, honestly, I don’t want to relive that again. It’s all just too painful to take sometimes.

I never knew I feel this way
And I’ve got to say that I just don’t get it
I don’t know where we went wrong
But the feeling’s gone and I just can’t get it back

And, of course, with heartache comes lots and lots of confusion! I know Lightfoot was speaking of romantic heartbreak here, but I think confusion can come with any kind of pain like that. With some things in my life, I’ve just been left dumbfounded. How did things come to this? Where did things go so horribly wrong? Can I ever get back to that place I once was? Moreover, do I even want to get back to that place? See where the confusion comes in?

I don’t know about you, but my head is spinning just typing these words! So. Many. Feels. Then again, maybe I’m just overly emotional because of the changing season that’s upon us? Either way, I’ve got a date with the season premiere of This Is Us tonight, which, in thinking about it, might not be the best choice for my heart, huh? Better have that Kleenex on hand…stat!! xoxo

Editor’s Note: Song lyrics denoted in bold italics.

I think it’s pretty much an established fact by now that I, umm, like to speak my mind. I’ve done it for almost nine years on this very blog and even in books like Pantsuit Nation. Honestly, I never even really thought about the actual act of doing this — you know, the speaking up. It’s just always been a part of me; I can’t remember a time when it wasn’t an automatic reflex, even when it wasn’t the most appropriate time, perhaps. But to think of my voice as…brave?

Sara Bareilles’ “Brave”
From The Blessed Unrest

That’s something I never even considered. And then I found myself watching Glee this past weekend and was reminded of a song that touched my heart several years ago. Really, I can’t help but feel as though the lyrics were describing my life and encapsulating everything perfectly. It all made me wonder, as I’m so prone to do: Maybe I’m not the only one who tends to speak up??

You can be amazing
You can turn a phrase into a weapon or a drug
You can be the outcast
Or be the backlash of somebody’s lack of love
Or you can start speaking up
Nothing’s gonna hurt you the way that words do
And they settle ‘neath your skin
Kept on the inside and no sunlight
Sometimes a shadow wins
But I wonder what would happen if you

You know how I’m always saying that words matter?? I mean, it’s practically become my mantra over the years — how cool would it be to have those two words on a t-shirt? Anyway, I love that the song opens echoing this very sentiment. Words can be used for evil or they can be used for good. They can be used to crush people or to build people up. How you choose to use your words is up to you. If words were a superhero, they’d be like Spiderman because “with great power comes great responsibility.”

Say what you wanna say
And let the words fall out
Honestly I wanna see you be brave

With what you want to say
And let the words fall out
Honestly I wanna see you be brave

But, I won’t pretend that this speaking out has always been easy for me. Sure, I may have always done it, but that doesn’t mean that I didn’t have time where I questioned myself. I sometimes wondered if I should just keep quiet because that seemed like the easier path to take at the time. The last thing I’ve ever wanted to do was to hurt people with my words — you all know that I’m a lover and most definitely NOT a fighter. Because so often, I wasn’t just saying these words for other people’s benefit. As much as I wanted other people to hear them, I think a part of me needed to hear them too. To reinforce things for myself? To teach myself a lesson? All of the above?

Innocence, your history of silence
Won’t do you any good
Did you think it would?
Let your words be anything but empty
Why don’t you tell them the truth?

Let your words be anything but empty — I love how this is such a call to action, don’t you? It’s rather inspiring, to think that your words can have the power to effect change. Sometimes I think that’s all people really want. They want to have their voice heard and their feelings validated.

So, friends, I encourage you to go forth in this big, bad, confusing world and sprinkle it with some good in the form of your powerful words. Own them. Live them. And love them. I promise you that those words will matter — and they will be heard. I love you all…and I love your beautiful words!! Remember, #BeBraveBeYou… xoxo