My Essay on CNN Opinion: “What I Learned After My Troll-Defying Tweet Went Viral”

TweetOne of my writing goals for the remainder of 2019 was to publish my 20th op-ed on CNN Opinion. It feels very fitting that 20th piece is about what I’ve learned from going viral with my tweet last week.

The last week has felt like a surreal dream and I did my best to put that dream into words! That’s also one of my favorite things about writing — to be able to process what’s happened to me. Because let’s face it: The events of the last week have left A LOT to process. Don’t get me wrong — I’m so grateful for everything that has happened. But a lot has happened in such a short amount of time, and it was certainly nice to sit down and reflect on it.

Here’s an excerpt of the piece, in which I learned that so many women journalists are concerned about their safety these days because of their work…

I won’t pretend that those words didn’t sting, but I knew that I couldn’t let them win. I’m going to give them the exact opposite of what they want, I thought. They don’t want me to post photos of myself? Well, that’s exactly what I’m going to do!

The fact that this simple tweet has taken on a life of its own is both surreal and overwhelming, but I’m so glad that I tweeted my photos. It was my message to trolls and haters, my way of saying “I’m taking back my power.”

All the women journalists I know? We’re not going anywhere. We’re still here and we’re staying here. We’re going to continue to do our jobs and we’re going to continue to exist on social media. The world is already so unsafe for women. We shouldn’t have to feel unsafe online too.

I also want to give a special THANK YOU to my editors Jane and Yaffa ​​ — two of the most amazing editors I’ve ever worked with! They’ve made me a better writer and I’ve learned so much from them! Everyone should have a Jane and Yaffa in their corner!!

You can read the full piece here and I’d love to hear your thoughts. Feel free to email me anytime at mellow1422@aol.com and let’s chat! And of course, feel free to share my essay on Facebook, Twitter or even your local refrigerator. If you share on Twitter, be sure to tag me @melissablake so I see your tweet and we can connect! I can’t wait to hear from you! Love you all… xoxo

[Photo via Unsplash]

Taylor Swift Re-Recording Her Albums Sends a Powerful Message

Taylor SwiftTaylor Swift taking back her power by re-recording her albums is my 2019 mood.

That was my first thought when I heard the news that Taylor Swift is planning to re-record her first five albums. The decision comes after the singer’s music catalog was bought by Scooter Braun in a $300 million deal between his Ithaca Holdings and Big Machine Label Group. Following the sale of her music, Swift took to her Tumblr and shared these powerful words…

“I learned about Scooter Braun’s purchase of my masters as it was announced to the world. All I could think about was the incessant, manipulative bullying I’ve received at his hands for years…Any time Scott Borchetta has heard the words ‘Scooter Braun’ escape my lips, it was when I was either crying or trying not to. He knew what he was doing; they both did. Controlling a woman who didn’t want to be associated with them. In perpetuity. That means forever.”

Like so many women, I was disgusted by the sale of her music catalog, especially in light of the fact that Braun has a history of bullying and manipulating the “Lover” singer-songwriter. Yes, artists have their work bought and sold all the time. That’s nothing new. But this sale didn’t feel like a business decision at all; it felt incredibly vindictive.

Taylor SwiftIt was yet another reminder that men in 2019 still think they can control women — everything from our bodies to our livelihoods. We’ve seen men using and abusing their power over and over. They use it as a way to undermine women, as a way to assert their dominance and make women feel “less than.”

That’s why Swift’s decision to re-record her music made me want to cheer “YES.” Why? Because it wasn’t just about her being able to own a version of her songs again or make money off her early work. This was about making a statement about women and power. It’s a statement that I heard loud and clear too: Women aren’t going to be controlled. What happened to Taylor happens to women every day; women speaking out and standing up for themselves and men trying to exert power and control. I’ll have none of it. None. Of. It.

Taylor SwiftPlus, who can forget Justin Bieber’s response? The singer posted a really mansplaining, non-apology apology Instagram post in which he basically scolded her for writing her blog post about the situation. He questioned her, insulted her…and then ended with “but we love you!” NO. What’s up with men who gaslight women? Why are men constantly trying to silence women?

The same thing happened to me this summer when a man tried to make me “rethink” a blog post — coincidentally, it was this post. What happened to Taylor happens to women every day; women speaking out and standing up for themselves and men trying to exert power and control. I’ll have none of it. None. Of. It.

Writer Danielle Campoamor summed it up perfectly in her recent CNN Opinion op-ed…

“As women, we’re to blame. We’re too aggressive. We just want attention. We don’t love ourselves enough. We’re manipulative. We’re not his type. We’re too much. We’re dramatic. We’re feuding.

And, like Swift, far too many of us are watching what we’ve worked so hard for fall into the hands of men who seek to control us, whether it be via our legacies, our reputations, our bodies, or our success.”

Yes, indeed. Women are taking back their own power and I’m here for it. All. Of. It. Are you with me, friends? What are your thoughts on Taylor Swift taking back her power?? I’d love to hear them!! xoxo

I’m Here For Ariel In the Live-Action Remake of ‘The Little Mermaid’

ArielYes, I know that the news about casting singer/actress Halle Bailey as the new Ariel in the upcoming live-action remake of “The Little Mermaid” is practically a month old, but I’ve been saving this as a blog post idea ever since and think it’s really important to talk about. For so many reasons

I was 8 years old when “The Little Mermaid” first came out. When I saw Ariel, I thought “Look, it’s a Disney princess who has red hair just like me!” I was so happy because it was the first time we had a Disney princess with red hair; we had blonde-haired and black-haired princesses, but never a redhead. For the first time in my young, Disney-obsessed life, I…felt…included. I felt scene in a way that I never had before, and that, as you can probably imagine, is a very powerful thing. It’s no coincidence, then, that “The Little Mermaid” remains my favorite Disney film to this day.

That’s precisely why I’m so glad to see Disney advocating for better representation with Halle Bailey’s casting. Young Black girls need to see themselves onscreen and feel that happiness too! They need to be able to say “Look, she’s just like me!” Everyone screaming needs to JUST STOP. She’s not your Ariel. She’s an Ariel for a new generation and they deserve to have representation be a part of their world — see what I did there?

Have you seen these awesome illustrations that fans made in honor of Ariel?

“As black creators, we know how isolating this industry can be,” Nilah Magruder, a Los Angeles–based illustrator and animator, told BuzzFeed News. “To see a black Ariel now is particularly inspiring.”

So many beautiful interpretations of such a beautiful, beloved Disney princess!!!

ArielAnd, one more thing about Ariel and The Little Mermaid (something I wish I would have learned when I was younger): The most problematic aspect of the whole movie was Ariel giving up her voice for Prince Eric. Changing yourself to get some guy’s attention? What kind of dangerous message is that??

No! Thank! You! Ladies, if a dude tries to silence you/thinks you should be quiet…R-U-N…

Anyway, are you excited about seeing a live-action version of “The Little Mermaid” I’m also interested to see who plays Prince Eric…suggestions as to who would be the best actor?? So many possibilities!! xoxo

My Essay on The Independent: “If You Think Beto Is ‘Born to Do It’ and Kamala Is a ‘Great VP for Joe’, You Need to Change Your Attitude…”

KamalaFreelance writer confession: I have this habit of sending pitches at night. Late at night. Like, really late at night — we’re talking well after midnight here. If I get an idea (or if there’s a timely op-ed that I just need to write about), then you can usually find me curled up in my bed, dashing off pitches, the bright light of my iPhone guiding me ever onward. That’s exactly how this piece for The Independent came to fruition. The subjects of the piece? Beto O’Rourke and Kamala Harris…

I got to write about the differences in media coverage between male and female candidates in the 2020 election. Why do we continue to insist that women politicians must be likeable above all else while not holding men to those same standards? It frustrates me to no end, especially when it comes to Beto O’Rourke and Kamala Harris.

Frankly, there are too many sexist assumptions to count when it comes to the upcoming election. Too. Many. To. Count. Honestly, if I think about it too much, my head starts to hurt and I become, umm, one big ball of rage!

Here’s an excerpt of the piece, in which I question some of the messages we’re sending when we cover male and female candidates so differently and how female candidates seem to be up against something far more sinister than politics itself: the relatability factor…

When women are used merely to bolster a man’s ticket or ignored entirely when a man hits the stage, there is no progress. After rumors abounded this week about the possibility of Biden “balancing his ticket” with Harris, I was glad to see her tell voters in New Hampshire that her male counterpart “would be a great running-mate. As vice president, he’s shown he can do the job.” I hope the sentiment goes beyond a soundbite.

That future just might be the one where women can come out ahead. Let’s hope America is listening.

KamalaYou can read the full piece here and I’d love to hear your thoughts. Feel free to email me anytime at mellow1422@aol.com and let’s chat! And of course, feel free to share my essay on Facebook, Twitter or even your local refrigerator. If you share on Twitter, be sure to tag me @melissablake so we can connect! I can’t wait to hear from you! Love you all… xoxo

My Essay on The Independent: “AOC and Maxine Waters Took a Stand Against Mansplaining…”

AOCYou know what, friends?? I’ve realized something about all the op-eds that I’ve been writing for the last six months: Most of them are about some dangerous aspect of the patriarchy and its treatment of women. Take this op-ed about AOC and Maxine Waters pushing back against mansplainers in Congress.

Here’s how my days typically go when I’m on deadline for a timely op-ed: I get the acceptance in the morning, turn in the piece at 1 p.m. and see it publish around 3:30 p.m.! This is my first for The Independent (yes, I know I didn’t share my pieces for The Independent in chronological order), but definitely not my first time taking men to task for their mansplaining…

Isn’t what happened to AOC and Maxine Waters all too familiar?? I mean, it’s becoming a broken record at this point, and women are sick of it! Their exchanges with men mirror, on a national level, what women all across the country have experienced. In all occupations, not just politics, and in seemingly every area of life.

We’re tired. It’s amazing (and frustrating) the number of times men have swooped in on Facebook or Twitter to try and “explain” something to me, only to act incredibly insulted when I pushed back.

But this piece for The Independent started with this tweet I posted after I heard about Paul Ryan trying to give AOC some “little tips” about being in Congress. Ugh, ugh, ugh….where’s the eye-roll emoji when you need it? Ironically, men even tried to mansplain to me in response to said tweet; I think the irony was lost on them, though.

Here’s an excerpt of the piece, in which I remind the world, yet again, that women are not required to listen to men…

It’s 2019, but it seems that a lot of men still have yet to grasp that the women in their lives didn’t ask for an explanation in the first place. They operate under the assumption that women are in desperate need of help, that they aren’t capable of completing or understanding tasks themselves, and that a man’s advice will magically save the day.

Yet the women I know? We’re tired. We’re tired of being underestimated and not taken seriously. We’re tired of being seen as weak and incapable. I’m starting to lose count of the number of times men have swooped in on Facebook or Twitter to try and “explain” something to me, only to act incredibly insulted when I pushed back; it’s as if they think I’m somehow required to listen.

My tweet about Paul Ryan and AOC was also included in a HuffPost round-up…right below Stephen Colbert’s tweet!! The Purveyor of the Matriarchy strikes again!

AOC AOCYou can read the full piece here and I’d love to hear your thoughts. Feel free to email me anytime at mellow1422@aol.com and let’s chat! And of course, feel free to share my essay on Facebook, Twitter or even your local refrigerator. If you share on Twitter, be sure to tag me @melissablake so we can connect! I can’t wait to hear from you! Love you all… xoxo