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Wednesday, April 8, 2020

My Essay on DAME: “The Self-Care of Escapist TV” (Or, My Ode to Political Dramas)

political dramasHello, my wonderful friends!! I’m back and guess what??? My ode to political dramas is OUT in the world!!!

Oh, wait, maybe I should back up just a bit, especially if you don’t follow me on social media. If you DO follow me, then you’ve probably seen me go on and on for months about this essay idea I had; it was one of those ideas that was just tugging at me, begging to be written. Honestly, this is the piece I’m most proud of and it was such an honor to pay tribute to my newest favorite TV genre, including my newfound love (read: obsession) of The West Wing!

I can’t believe I got to write about binge-watching fictional political TV shows to escape the Trump era! This piece was a long time coming…got the idea months ago and it found the perfect home on DAME.

In fact, it all still feels incredibly surreal. And even more surreal? I got to interview Bradley Whitford and Pat Cunnane — two titans in the political dramas arena — and it was such an honor!

Here’s an excerpt of the piece, and I just hope I’ve made the Bartlet administration proud…

It may be a fictional behind-the-scenes peek into the life of the president and his senior staff, but for 44 minutes every night, it’s exactly what I need. And on the worst days, when reality kicks into high gear, it’s the only 44 minutes where I’m not angry about politics.

The West Wing and shows like it are my respite, offering me a vision of reality that isn’t corrupt and dangerous, even if it’s only on the small screen.

And now, the worse things get with our real-life current administration and with primary season in full swing, the more I cling to the Bartlet administration on The West Wing.

And in the end, maybe watching these shows serves a dual purpose – one not just about escapism, but also about rejuvenation. Because I’m going to continue watching as a way to regather my strength, and then, when I’m ready to rejoin the fight, I’ll ask, in the wise words of President Bartlet himself, “What’s next?”

political dramasI also wanted to take a moment to highlight the importance of DAME, which is at the forefront of feminism, politics and culture. If you’d like to support the work of journalists, I invite you to become a member. As a small publication, DAME has been impacted by the economic fallout of COVID-19, but we need the voices of women journalists more than ever right now. Just 5,000 people giving $4.99 per month will help DAME continue to be that voice. Click here for more info.

You can read the full piece here and I’d love to hear your thoughts. Feel free to email me anytime at mellow1422@aol.com and let’s chat! And of course, feel free to share my essay on Facebook, Twitter or even your local refrigerator. If you share on Twitter, be sure to tag me @melissablake so I see your tweet and we can connect! I can’t wait to hear from you! Love you all… xoxo

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1 Comment Filed Under: DAME writing, Election, TV

Tuesday, March 17, 2020

Please, Don’t Forget to Vote…

VoteIf you do one thing today — or, really, all primary season long: GO VOTE.

Yes, I know that I’ve stressed the importance of voting many, many times over the years (in both 2012 and 2016…), but the truth is, performing your civic duty is something that’s NEVER going to go out of style.

Casting your vote in that ballot box is one of the most important things we do as Americans. Because it’s up to us to chart the course of this country. Where do we want to go? How do we want to get there? What’s important to us? Who do we want to be?

Because guess what? When we vote, we’re not just voting for a person. We’re voting for the morals and values too. Morals and values are abstract, sure, but they’re also the things that will help guide and shape the laws and policies of the next administration. And that’s something we can’t take lightly; it’s our responsibility.

VoteSo maybe your favorite candidate is no longer in the race. Does that mean you’re not going to vote? I’ve been thinking about the whole Bernie or Bust phenomenon that we saw in the 2016 election. Look, y’all know Warren was my favorite. But guess what? I voted for one of the two remaining Democratic candidates. Did I like it? No. But we literally can’t afford 4 more years of this dystopian Handmaid’s Tale reality. We don’t have the privilege of sitting this election out just because we don’t want to vote for a candidate that isn’t our #1 choice.

Anyway, I took this selfie with my mom after we voted — probably the only time I’ll be leaving the house for the foreseeable future!!

The world feels like it’s ending, but I saw a lot of people voting!! Glad to see people doing their civic duty even in these scary times! These are the types of things that are going to be the foundation for lasting change. Sitting at home and pouting won’t help anyone. In fact, it’s going to hurt us all. Please, don’t forget to vote… xoxo

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1 Comment Filed Under: civil rights, Election, family

Monday, March 16, 2020

Thank You, Elizabeth Warren (and a Message to Bernie Bros)

Elizabeth WarrenFriends, I know the world feels so heavy and scary right now in the midst of the coronavirus and, indeed, I’m planning a blog post on that later this week, but I wanted to write a few more words about Elizabeth Warren because I feel like, especially in light of her ending her campaign, there’s still so much to say…

First, I’m telling my kids that the photo above is what a superhero looks like. Warren’s campaign was a master class in persistence, passion and plans. The fact that she’s ending her campaign doesn’t erase any of that and I’m so excited to see her bring that same fighting spirit to the next chapter!!

In a call with campaign staff, Warren thanked her team for being part of such a history-making bid for the presidency and how the work they started will carry on into the future…

What we have done — and the ideas we have launched into the world, the way we have fought this fight, the relationships we have built — will carry through, carry through for the rest of this election, and the one after that, and the one after that.

We have also shown that it is possible to inspire people with big ideas, possible to call out what’s wrong and to lay out a path to make this country live up to its promise.

We have shown that a woman can stand up, hold her ground, and stay true to herself — no matter what.

We have shown that we can build plans in collaboration with the people who are most affected. You know, just one example: Our disability plan is a model for our country, and, even more importantly, the way we relied on the disability communities to help us get it right will be a more important model.

And still, in the midst of all that Elizabeth Warren accomplished, there’s one thing we must remember: It’s OK to be sad and frustrated right now. We went from a diverse group of presidential candidates to two that just reinforce the tired status quo, so, yes, we’re allowed to be sad about Warren. I’m seeing far too many people saying things like “get over it,” but for women, “it” is about more than the end of a campaign. Seeing her drop out was another reminder about how we view women and it’s exhausting. Honestly, it’s like this headline in The Atlantic proclaims…

America Punished Elizabeth Warren for Her Competence

That’s exactly right, isn’t it? I mean, that firmly and succinctly encapsulates everything that we’ve seen when it comes to powerful, smart and competent women who have “dared” enter the spotlight and challenge the status quo of men being in charge of everything. After all, as revolutionary as Warren’s campaign was, the ending? That, sadly, was incredibly predictable — I mean, we knew how this would end, didn’t we?

I wanted to believe this time would be different. I wanted to believe that change is possible. I wanted to believe that people would FINALLY move beyond this disgusting sexism that has no place in 2020. I wanted to believe. I wanted to believe so much.

Elizabeth WarrenIt’s impossible and irresponsible to say that sexism and misogyny didn’t play a role in how we saw Elizabeth Warren treated. We must acknowledge it, so here’s a little review…

How to describe Warren: smart, capable, competent

How NOT to describe Warren: mean, nasty, angry, aggressive, emotional, shrill

Just ask yourself: Which set would I use to describe male candidates?

And speaking of male candidates, we need to have a serious conversation about the toxicity of Bernie Bros. The great irony is that they call themselves supporters because all that bullying isn’t going to sway me to vote for him.

They’re hurting his campaign. Full stop.

And the fact that Bernie Sanders himself refuses to further address their ugly behavior is just as troubling as the behavior itself.

If y’all want a peek at the vicious vitriol of the Bernie Bros, all you have to do is look at my mentions over the last week alone. Bullying isn’t a good look and it’s a dangerous strategy for gaining supporters.

In the end, as we all try to move forward, what does all this tell us? Strong women aren’t going anywhere, no matter how much some people wish they would. I hate that we still live in a world where we tell girls that they can be anything…except POTUS. But we need to. And more than telling them, we need to show them that a female president is possible. After all, actions speak louder than words. May we all strive to be a future of action. And lasting change… xoxo

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2 Comments Filed Under: A Woman's Word, Election, inspiring women

Wednesday, March 4, 2020

On Elizabeth Warren and the Trap of Female Electability

Elizabeth WarrenWhen I woke up yesterday, I felt energized and hopeful. After all, it was Super Tuesday. People all over the country were heading to the voting booth to cast their vote in the Democratic primary and there was a palpable fervor of excitement in the air, especially when it came to Senator Elizabeth Warren. Here was a powerhouse, full of passionate ideas and plans to put those ideas into action.

I thought, “Finally, we just might be coming out on the other side of the disastrous election that was 2016” — you know, the one that haunts us on the regular.

Well, I guess I spoke too soon because I woke up today to the results of Super Tuesday and, friends, things most definitely did not turn out how I (and so many others) had hoped. As you can imagine, then, I woke up this morning feeling defeated and angry and frustrated. And, perhaps most of all, like nothing has changed.

Translation: Today we learned (again!) that America really, really hates smart, capable women. Apparently, the worst thing you can be in 2020 is a smart women. I’d just like to ask America one question…

Why do you hate strong women so much?

The only thing that won last night was the patriarchy and misogyny. Again. The two things that have no place in our society keep getting top billing and, well, I just don’t understand it. I never will, either.

Elizabeth Warren
For the majority of the presidential campaign season, we’ve seen much discussion surrounding this notion of electability — who’s got it, who doesn’t and who needs more of it to win.

But here’s the thing: Much of that discussion has been squarely reserved for the female candidates in the race. And now, with Amy Klobuchar ending her campaign, all talk of electability is aimed at Elizabeth Warren.

This notion of electability is such a trap, isn’t it? Female candidates like Warren are held to these unrealistically high standards — standards that we don’t hold male candidates to — hi, Bernie and Joe.

Plus, don’t even get me started on Bernie Bros. Of course, in the lead up to Super Tuesday, their vitriol about electability only intensified. Especially online.

Let’s take Bernie, for example…

He ran in 2016 and DIDN’T WIN
He had a HEART ATTACK just months ago

If Warren had just had a heart attack, people would be imploring her to drop out. And yet, people aren’t questioning Bernie’s electability. So all this talk about how she isn’t electable? Let’s call it out for the sexism that it is. It’s code for “not as competent as a man.” It’s code for “only men can be president.” It’s code for everything that candidates like Elizabeth Warren (and Hillary Clinton before her) have been fighting an uphill battle against for so long.

Elizabeth WarrenAs a woman, I’m tired and I keep asking myself: When? If not now, when? It’s time for a woman president. We need a woman president…

Call it identity politics if you want. I call it voting in line with my interests as a woman and I’m pretty sure another old white man will never understand the issues women face.

Elizabeth Warren does. We need Warren.

I swear, if one more Bernie Bro tells me that Elizabeth Warren can’t win and I should give my vote to Bernie. But guess what? Bernie — or any male candidate — isn’t entitled to my vote. This idea that a woman should just step aside and make space for a man is peak male entitlement. It’s the same type of rhetoric we heard in 2016 and a woman went on to win the popular vote.

I wasn’t here for this in 2016 and I’m not here for this in 2020. How much longer are we going to let history repeat itself?

So, yes, you can call her poor performance “just politics” if you want. I call it misogyny. And I’m really not here for the mansplaining I’ve seen today, y’all. Also, not any other day, for that matter.

Elizabeth WarrenMy writer friend and editor Heather Wood Rudulph wrote a great piece on electability that gets right to the heart of the matter. As she writes…

Who has performed better under pressure and media-prescribed “ruin” than Elizabeth Warren? No one. Who has displayed more moxy and intellectual furor when faced with a belligerent white, male opponent whose last name starts with B? No one. Who has failed to cower even once, and has been able to articulate her many good ideas over and over again, admitting which ones still need work? Her. Who has ACTUALLY apologized for past mistakes or ignorance rather than excused them away like every other candidate? Her. Who calls her supporters, has the best one-liners on any debate stage, and befriends Jonathan Van Ness? Elizabeth Warren!

Reminder: She’s electable if you VOTE FOR HER.

In the end, what happened on Super Tuesday is about so much more than just the here and now in 2020. Unfortunately, something tells me that we’ll be feeling the ripples for years to come. And it’s the next generation that’s going to be particularly affected. Young girls deserve to see strong women in leadership — and especially in the highest office in the land. They need those role models. Elizabeth Warren is a wonderful role model. It’s a shame that so many people didn’t feel the same way…

P.S. My op-ed in The Independent about Elizabeth Warren on The View…

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9 Comments Filed Under: A Woman's Word, Election, inspiring women

Tuesday, February 18, 2020

On Nancy Pelosi and That Revolutionary Rip

Nancy PelosiNancy Pelosi is a NATIONAL TREASURE.

I’m probably going to end up saying (well, more like blogging) this over and over in 2020, but you know what?? I’m not sorry…

Unsurprisingly, this month’s State of the Union speech was a disastrous trainwreck full of fake news and resembling some sort of scary Handmaid’s Tale alternate universe. I was pretty much yelling at my TV the entire time and I don’t even want to know just how high my blood pressure got. It. Was. Bad. And. Dangerous.

Just when I was about to turn off the TV in utter disgust, a grand finale moment of sorts occurred. It was the crowning moment — and my favorite moment — in two hours that felt like an eternity. By now, you probably know exactly which moment I’m talking about. Nancy Pelosi ripping up that nonsense of a speech is the brilliantly defiant mood I’m here for! It was a true act of patriotic defiance that we’ve all been craving and desperately needing.

In fact, it was my absolute favorite part of the entire night; actually, it’s really the only thing I remember from that whole speech and I suspect it’s the only thing most people remember about that night too. And, well, apparently, that made some people very, very upset because social media was flooded the next day with people decrying “classless!” and “disrespectful” when talking about Pelosi’s actions.

Nancy PelosiYes, people were really out there angry about her ripping up a PIECE OF PAPER while the “president” mocks the disabled, demeans women, puts children in cages, takes away health care and rips apart the fabric of this country EVERY DAY. Yes, the hypocrisy is rich here.

The ongoing sexist double standard became even more glaring the day after the speech, when Senators voted to acquit the “president.” Here’s what we learned: Men are found not guilty while women are always on trial. Women are consistently held to a higher standard than men and don’t have the luxury of being defiant or outspoken in the same way men are. If we are, we’re labeled nasty and classless. We can’t win.

That paradigm runs so deep, doesn’t it? Women are taught to be nice and polite at all costs, no matter how harmful it is to them. We tell women to smile more, stop being so emotional and get over it. It’s all exhausting. Needless to say, that one week provided such an interesting juxtaposition when you compare Trump’s acquittal and the anger over Nancy Pelosi. It put so many things in sharp focus.

You know, seeing her rip up that speech almost made me wish I still had the emails that a certain mansplaining jerk once sent me — it would just feel so satisfying to just rip it up with the same level of defiance demonstrated by Nancy Pelosi.

Nancy PelosiI’ve also been thinking about that quote from historian Laurel Thatcher Ulrich: “Well-behaved women seldom make history.” It’s so true!! It’s the rule-breakers and those who dare to buck convention and challenge the status quo who ultimately make history. Here’s to all the strong, badass, status-quo shaking, glass-ceiling shattering, rule-changing women who refuse to be quiet

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3 Comments Filed Under: A Woman's Word, Election, inspiring women

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So About What I Said is a daily blog that covers relationships, disabilities, lifestyle and pop culture. I love to laugh and have been known to overshare. I also have an unabashed obsession with pop music, polo shirts, and PEZ dispensers. Read more...

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