Ms. Bear Says: Get Your Colonoscopy!

ColonoscopyWhew, friends!! As I always say, “That was a time!!” The time period I’m referring to?? The last five days alone! We’ve had quite the adventure of the medical variety around here as my mom had her second-ever colonoscopy!! She came through with flying colors and was brave and fierce and tough — in everything from the prep that involved drinking a very interesting mixture to the recovery that involved resting in the recovery room with a snack! She’s pretty much my hero and I’m so proud of her, so I wanted her to write a little bit today. Take it away, Ms. Bear…

Way back in 2009, after my first colonoscopy, I was so happy that I wouldn’t have to go back for 10 whole years! It seemed like a lifetime before I would have to worry about that again. Alas, it is remarkable how fast 10 years went by! I was supposed to have it in November 2019, but I seemed to lack the enthusiasm for it and told myself I would go in the new year. Well, welcome to 2020 and I was really sick in late February and most of March (there was no COVID test then, but I can’t help but wonder…). Then, of course, we were locked away in our houses, which brings us to last week, when I finally had the procedure. They told me that I wouldn’t be able to take the pills for the “clean out” this time and I worried every day for two months about drinking that liquid.

ColonoscopyFast forward to last Wednesday at 5 p.m. when I had to start the “prep.”I mixed it with lemonade Gatorade and guess what? It wasn’t bad at all. Of course, after 64 ounces of it, I felt a little nauseated, but overall, nothing like I had built up in my mind.

So, off Janelle and I went to the hospital on Thursday morning at the crack of dawn. It was super fast and I was in and out of the procedure room in less than half an hour. Then they gave me a muffin and sent me on my way.

I am still waiting to hear from pathology as to whether I come back in 5 years or 10, but either way, I am proud of myself for finally doing it. So, please, don’t let fear keep you from this important test, especially if you are over 50. Learn from my mistake and don’t put it off.

ColonoscopyI am so happy I am done and next time I am going to go in exactly when they tell me to. And, I learned (again!) that there is no point in worrying every day about something that can save your life AND can be over in a half hour. I’ll let you know in 5 or 10 years if I follow through on this, but I am sure going to try!

Although March is officially National Colorectal Cancer Awareness Month, if you’re over 50, it’s important to get a colonoscopy to screen for colon cancer. So what are YOU waiting for???

P.S. Thanks to Janelle for documenting this medical milestone!!

Why I Want You to See My Wheelchair In Photos

Wheelchair Wheelchair“It’s not cool to be in a wheelchair.”

“No one wants to be in a wheelchair.”

“A disability isn’t something to be proud of.”

These are just some of the ableist things people have said to me. Obviously, I didn’t listen because I was far too busy LOVING my disabled body!!! Please, don’t be like these people, but if you ARE one of those people: Let’s talk about disability and pride for a minute!

After my viral tweet, I noticed something very interesting: I don’t have many photos that show my whole wheelchair. Can you believe that, friends? It was quite a shock, to say the least, because my wheelchair is a huge part of my life. Why is that, I wondered?? Maybe part of the reason is because I take so many selfies and lost one of those cool selfie sticks that my cousin gave us a couple years ago.

Whatever the reason, I’ve been on a mission to change that, to make my wheelchair just as much a part of a photo as my smiling face or my red hair. In fact, I even wrote about my wheelchair last fall in which I shared all the things my wheelchair has allowed me to do in life. Some people see a wheelchair as a prison, as something that holds you back, but you know what? My wheelchair has given me life. It’s given me freedom. It’s liberated me from the constraints of my disability. Without these fab and fast wheels, I wouldn’t have been able to work on my college newspaper, graduated college or teach the journalists of tomorrow as a newspaper adviser.

WheelchairIn other words: I wouldn’t be ME without it. So I’m always surprised and, frankly, angry when I see people fail to see just how important mobility devices are for disabled people. Do you think your legs are a prison? Do you feel confined by them?

Of course not! The same is true of my wheelchair. They’re my legs and I wouldn’t be able to live a full life without it.

Last year, I wrote an op-ed about the new wheelchair Barbie, so when I spotted her in the store over Christmas, I just had to take a selfie of us together! If for no other reason than to show my younger self and other disabled kids that they’re seen & they matter. Isn’t that awesome?!?!?

So look out, world…Barbie and I are rolling into a new era. And we’re here for disability representation!! I love my wheelchair and I’m proud to be disabled. Here I am, world. Who’s with me??? xoxo

We Need to Review What Fat-Shaming Is — and Isn’t

fatSigh, I wish I didn’t even have to write this blog post today, friends!! I just wrote about fat-shaming last week with Adele, but it seems not everyone got the memo or understands the term itself.

The hashtags and online chatter started yesterday when Speaker of the House Nancy Pelosi criticized Trump for his use of hydroxychloroquine to prevent COVID-19…

“As far as the president is concerned, he’s our president and I would rather he not be taking something that has not been approved by the scientists, especially in his age group and in his, shall we say, weight group, morbidly obese, they say. So, I think it’s not a good idea,” she said in an interview with Anderson Cooper on CNN.

By early this morning, hashtags like #FatShaming appeared on Twitter, with people appalled that Pelosi would resort to throwing around cheap shots and insults like that.

Honestly, I saw all those hashtags trending and it was all I could do to just sit there for a minute. Truth be told, I was pretty taken aback and just downright confused. So y’all are really clutching your pearls over Nancy Pelosi using a medical term one time to describe Trump while he’s spent a lifetime shaming, insulting and degrading women. That’s rich. Your hypocrisy is showing and the dichotomy of the whole thing is incredibly striking. My gosh, we’ve watched Trump literally call women vile names such as “horseface”, “dog” and “face of a pig,” to name a few, and he does this with abandon; he doesn’t care who he hurts and he’s done this for years.

“Morbidly obese,” on the other hand, is a medical term. To try and spin it as fat-shaming is an insult to people like me who have literally been called names like whale, parade balloon and a potato with a face. Those are the words that hurt. Those are the words that stick and do irreparable damage. I know what it’s like to be fat-shamed. And this isn’t it today.

fatMaybe the irony in all of this is that those same people who called me those awful names are the same people who are now so concerned with our fat-shaming culture. I just can’t with this double standard — it’s all kinds of staggering and helps no one. In fact, it hurts the very people who have actually experienced real and true bullying for their appearance.

Perhaps even more important, though, Trump is not the victim here! Please, let’s not forget that crucial fact while 90K people have died from the coronavirus. It’s incredibly troubling to see people offer even an ounce of sympathy to a man who doesn’t deserve it. Think about that, friends… xoxo

How to Stop Procrastinating and Complete Important Life Tasks

ProcrastinatingUncertainty can make it very hard to get things done. It’s very hard for us to deal with procrastination because we believe we’ll always have a lot of time to complete projects. The problem is that most people who put off projects often never complete them. If you take immediate action, then you’re more likely to stop procrastinating and finish projects.

Let’s assume that you want to ask for a raise from your boss. Your boss might not like the idea of increasing your pay, so you may end up worrying about getting in some kind of trouble for asking. One way to push through this form of uncertainty is to justify your actions in your own mind. If you know for certain that you definitely deserve a raise, then asking for increased pay shouldn’t be a problem. If you don’t feel that you deserve a raise, then the problem might be that you need to simply perform better at your job. Building your skills will increase your confidence, and you won’t worry about asking for a raise because it’s something you know you deserve.

How to Avoid Putting Off Major Projects

Sometimes we procrastinate because a job seems too difficult to complete. This is certainly a problem for many people when it comes to home design projects. You might worry that you’ll first need to clean up your home or move furniture. Some projects are much easier to complete than most people think. Installing floating wall shelves may first seem challenging, but one of these projects can be completed in just a few minutes. There are certainly much harder home improvement projects that take a lot more time to complete.

One reason we put off big home-remodeling projects is that we worry about working with contractors. If we don’t select the right contractor, then they may end up doing subpar work. If you conduct research, then you’ll feel more confident about working with an expert. Learning to ask the right questions is very important.

Procrastination and Personal Relationships

People often put off improving personal relationships out of fear. Communication is an important element of all successful relationships. Healthy relationships require time and effort. If you aren’t willing to put in the time needed to build a strong relationship, then things may get worse over time. Some uncertainty is always guaranteed, but you can improve your chances by telling the other person how you feel. You should never feel afraid to express yourself. Problems occur when people are afraid to speak their mind and inform others about how they are feeling. This is why many therapists recommend couples occasionally engage in arguments to work through their problems. If you don’t take time to work out your problems, then the relationship may permanently fall apart.

Dealing With Uncertainty

Part of the reason people fear uncertainty is that it makes us irrational. Successful people develop ways to cope with uncertainty. Developing the right strategies can make it easier to take action. Successful people remain positive at all times. It can be very tempting to become negative when it comes time to make decisions, but remaining positive can help uncertain people cope with dilemmas. Successful people deal with uncertainty by accepting the fact that there are some things they cannot control. Many problems might be much easier to deal with than you think. People can also cope with uncertainty by:

• Becoming more knowledgeable
• Taking small steps in the beginning
• Working on controlling their emotions

You will fear uncertainty a lot less if you know as much as you can about the thing you are worried about. Taking small steps is important because you may get overwhelmed by the amount of work that needs to be done. Just completing a little bit of work a day can make a seemingly impossible task manageable. Improving your emotional intelligence can help you reduce uncertainty. Many fears that people have are simply irrational, and people can dispel these fears by regulating their emotions. Try not to take action when you are in a bad mood. Avoid making rash decisions as much as possible. If you carefully design your project, then you’re more likely to know exactly what to do when it’s time to execute your plans.

Procrastinating–Sara Stringer is a freelance writer who most enjoys blogging about lifestyle, relationships and life as a woman. In her spare time, she enjoys soaking up the sunshine with her husband and two kids. Compensation was received for the editing and publishing of this article.

[Photos via Unsplash]

My Essay on SheKnows: “Why Complimenting Adele’s Weight Loss is Toxic”

AdeleHave you been following the story about Adele and the reaction to her weight loss this week?? In a word, the reaction is gross, so naturally, I tweeted my thoughts about it. And then, that tweet had a semi-viral moment of its own, which became the basis for my newest piece for SheKnows…

We first saw people commenting on the singer’s new, slimmer figure back in December when she posted some holiday photos. I was disgusted then when I saw comments saying how “gorgeous” and “beautiful” she looked. So it’s no surprise that I was even more disgusted when people started in again with those same types of comments last week. Adele posted this photo on Instagram to thank people for birthday wishes and to thank frontline workers for all they’re doing.

She made NO MENTION of her body or her weight-loss journey. And yet, that’s what people chose to fixate on.

After I tweeted this, my thoughts had a mini viral moment of their own! Hooray!!

Not so hooray?? Tons of disappointing comments about weight and beauty. Some of y’all need to check yourselves. Your fatphobia is showing and that’s most definitely not beautiful. The responses to that tweet made me want to write about Adele even more and I’m so glad my piece found a home!!

Here’s an excerpt of the piece, in which I tackle our society’s misconception that weight is somehow tied to beauty and that thin is the ultimate standard…

I’ve been thinking a lot about the reactions I’ve seen over the last two days, especially when it comes to the unspoken meaning behind people’s words. When people praise Adele for her “beauty transformation,” there’s this fatphobic subtext implying that fat is bad. We live in a culture where there are only two ways of being: Fat or thin. Fat is bad and thin is good. Fat is wrong and thin is right. Fat is out and thin is in.

That’s it. People have taken something as complex as the human body and reduced it down to such simplistic extremes, leaving zero room for anything else. We need to get away from this simplistic thinking because there’s a whole host of shades in between; people are not monoliths who are one or the other. Our bodies are as individual as we are and there are so many different points on the continuum. As cheesy as it sounds, we really do come in all shapes and sizes.

AdeleYou can read the full piece here and I’d love to hear your thoughts. Feel free to email me anytime at mellow1422@aol.com and let’s chat! And of course, feel free to share my essay on Facebook, Twitter or even your local refrigerator. If you share on Twitter, be sure to tag me @melissablake so I see your tweet and we can connect! I can’t wait to hear from you! Love you all… xoxo