Conversations With My Mom

ConversationsWe’ve been in quarantine now for almost three months! I’m incredibly lucky and I’m grateful every day that I get to be with my mom and sister, but there’s one thing no one tells you about spending 24/7 with your family: conversations with my mom are epic!!

And by epic, what I really mean is “I couldn’t make this stuff up if I tried” doozies!! And we’ve had some doozies, let me tell you!! If this were a Hallmark movie, my mom and I would be curled up on the couch, cup of cocoa in hand, talking about how the last few months have brought us so much closer together. We’d be sharing secrets and revelations about each other, swapping stories we’d never told the other. But this isn’t a Hallmark movie and, honestly, my mom and I are more like classic mother-daughter duo Sophia and Dorothy from The Golden Girls — we’re pretty much a well-oiled machine at this point, full of witty and sarcastic banter and able to complete each other’s sentences without missing a beat.

ConversationsMaybe that’s why we’ve had some of the best, most hilarious back-and-forth conversations while we’ve been home together. So in true journalist form, I’ve been chronicling them all. They’re filled with sarcastic zingers. They’re heavy on the humor. And my mom’s trademark eye-rolls practically leap off the screen.

Don’t believe me? Here’s a sample, so you can all judge for yourself…

Mom: Do you want extra sauce on your spaghetti?

Me: I’m the only one who can be extra saucy around here!!

Mom: Do you like lima beans??

Me: No, I only like Josh Lyman…

Me: Why do cats puff up their tails??

Mom: So they can look tougher and braver than they really are.

Me: Oh, just like Trump!

Me: What kind of cheese is this?

Mom: It’s sharp cheddar

Me: Oh, sharp…just like my wit

Mom: That’s right (as she smirks and rolls her eyes)

Mom: The frosting on that cake is sweet.

Me: Ooooh, just like me!

Mom: Well, you’ve got some sass too (again, she rolls her eyes)

And, a personal favorite that just happened tonight…

Mom: Is Trump giving a speech tonight?

Me: I’m not sure. Is something wrong with your Google? And, no, that is not a euphemism

ConversationsLike I said, we’ve got great comedic timing. I’m thinking we should take our act on the road. I mean, Bert and Ernie have been a crowd favorite of all ages for years and my mom and I are just like them, remember? This photo illustrates our relationship perfectly. There’s me (Ernie) saying something perhaps a bit out there and my mom (Bert) just looking like she’s completely over it all. I think a lot of other mothers and their daughters could relate to that, don’t you think?

Have you been having any interesting conversations with your loved one during quarantine? What have you been talking about? Deep, soul-searching topics or more of the light-hearted variety, friends?? xoxo

P.S. Thanks for everything over the last three months! I love you, Ma…

We Need to Review What Fat-Shaming Is — and Isn’t

fatSigh, I wish I didn’t even have to write this blog post today, friends!! I just wrote about fat-shaming last week with Adele, but it seems not everyone got the memo or understands the term itself.

The hashtags and online chatter started yesterday when Speaker of the House Nancy Pelosi criticized Trump for his use of hydroxychloroquine to prevent COVID-19…

“As far as the president is concerned, he’s our president and I would rather he not be taking something that has not been approved by the scientists, especially in his age group and in his, shall we say, weight group, morbidly obese, they say. So, I think it’s not a good idea,” she said in an interview with Anderson Cooper on CNN.

By early this morning, hashtags like #FatShaming appeared on Twitter, with people appalled that Pelosi would resort to throwing around cheap shots and insults like that.

Honestly, I saw all those hashtags trending and it was all I could do to just sit there for a minute. Truth be told, I was pretty taken aback and just downright confused. So y’all are really clutching your pearls over Nancy Pelosi using a medical term one time to describe Trump while he’s spent a lifetime shaming, insulting and degrading women. That’s rich. Your hypocrisy is showing and the dichotomy of the whole thing is incredibly striking. My gosh, we’ve watched Trump literally call women vile names such as “horseface”, “dog” and “face of a pig,” to name a few, and he does this with abandon; he doesn’t care who he hurts and he’s done this for years.

“Morbidly obese,” on the other hand, is a medical term. To try and spin it as fat-shaming is an insult to people like me who have literally been called names like whale, parade balloon and a potato with a face. Those are the words that hurt. Those are the words that stick and do irreparable damage. I know what it’s like to be fat-shamed. And this isn’t it today.

fatMaybe the irony in all of this is that those same people who called me those awful names are the same people who are now so concerned with our fat-shaming culture. I just can’t with this double standard — it’s all kinds of staggering and helps no one. In fact, it hurts the very people who have actually experienced real and true bullying for their appearance.

Perhaps even more important, though, Trump is not the victim here! Please, let’s not forget that crucial fact while 90K people have died from the coronavirus. It’s incredibly troubling to see people offer even an ounce of sympathy to a man who doesn’t deserve it. Think about that, friends… xoxo

What Trump Having a Mantrum at the Lincoln Memorial Tells Us

TrumpI’ve been really bad about pitching lately, but I’m bringing my op-ed skills to the blog today because everything just seems so dire and urgently dangerous right now. And, right on cue, Trump once again shows us that he’d rather be part of the problem than part of the much-needed solution.

First, let’s review his weekend, shall we??

He tweeted that he is glad to see that North Korean dictator Kim Jong Un is “back and well”

He tweeted about his precious wall

Sat at the Lincoln Memorial and, in all seriousness, said he’s been treated worse than a president who was assassinated.

And yet, he said nothing about the earthquake in Puerto Rico or offered any sympathy to coronavirus victims. Yes, through this all, he’s remained completely silent on those two points and the silence is quite glaring to anyone who is paying attention.

TrumpBut, back to what this post is really about: His mantrum yesterday. Set against the backdrop of the towering Lincoln Memorial, Trump held a town hall with Fox News — an interview full of notable quotable gems as “We never had a more beautiful set than this, did we?“, “I mean, everybody wants the rallies” and “They just want to go back. You see it every day. You see demonstrations all over the country and those are meaningful demonstrations. It’s big stuff.”

Ah, yes, it was indeed a typical Trump interview of rambling nonsense and hyperbolic self-congratulations. I mean, it’s what we’ve all come to expect, right? But as he sat next to a larger-than-life statue of the 16th president of the United States, he proceeded to deliver a doozy of a quote which should raise every single eyebrow from Portland to the other Portland.

“They always said Lincoln — nobody got treated worse than Lincoln. I believe I am treated worse.”

To put this in context for you: Nearly 70,000 people have died from coronavirus and all Trump wants to talk about is how badly he thinks he’s been treated. The narcissism is off the charts here.

It’s really rich of Trump to sit at the feet of the Lincoln Memorial and say that he is treated worse than Lincoln — the president who was literally assassinated after working tirelessly to hold the United States together.

And by rich, I mean appalling and abhorrent.

Granted, this is just the latest in a “presidency” filled with one childish and immature outburst after another, but there’s no denying the sheer power and symbolism of the photos of Trump sitting at Lincoln’s feet. Here we have a small man trying desperately to grandstand in front of a giant who represented the American presidency of yesteryear. It’s a study in contrast, a striking dichotomy of what we once were and where we are now, a literal representation of just how far we’ve fallen, shrunken and veered so far off course.

In an op-ed for the Boston Globe, writer Joan Vennochi illustrates the contrast so perfectly with these words…

To Lincoln, a “House divided” by slavery “could not stand.” But to Trump, a “House divided” by wealth, skin color, and disagreement over how best to safely reopen the country is tolerable. While he desperately seeks a vaccine to kill the coronavirus and send the stock market soaring, he expresses zero interest in curing a country torn apart by structural inequity.

I’ve been saying “I can’t even” so much lately. And I really can’t. I. Can’t. Even. I can’t even believe this is where we are. I can’t believe that more people aren’t infuriated about all this. I can’t believe that Trump would rather talk about himself than, you know, talk about how to help the millions of people suffering — and give at least a mention of sympathy to those who have died.

TrumpBut, nope. Nothing. Whatever Trump set out to achieve in last night’s town hall is unclear, but one thing is incredibly certain: Our house is indeed divided. And unlike Lincoln, Trump appears to have zero desire to help put it back together. He would much rather continue to divide rather than unite while everyone suffers…

[Photos by The Associated Press]

Quarantine Life: Working From Home

quarantineThis week marks the fifth week of quarantine, friends — or is it the sixth week? I seem to be losing track of the days here. Time certainly seems pretty irrelevant right now, doesn’t it?

Take my schedule for working from home, for example. Right now, it feels pretty much nonexistent, which sounds strange because, umm, HELLO, I’ve worked from home the majority of the week for years now.

So…I told myself that last Wednesday would be the day I’d get back to work. I even gave myself an extra week off for my “spring break” and yet…the motivation just isn’t there. Pitching, blog posts — it all seems so overwhelming right now.

But the world is overwhelmed right now, isn’t it? Everything is so precarious, especially on the medical front, but also when it comes to our social and emotional well-being too. The life we knew is changing forever, so continually processing where we are and where we’re going can feel like quite the feat sometimes — OK, it feels like a huge feat all the time!

It all got me thinking about connecting, especially when it comes to working from home during the quarantine. With so many people working from home, I thought it would be cool to see photos of people’s home office! So! Earlier this week, I tweeted, asking people to show off their office digs, complete with this photo of my space — our kitchen table, complete with my framed viral tweet and a Diet Coke, of course! And I love all the responses, including all the cat co-workers out there!! Check out the thread if you haven’t yet — it will definitely make you smile!

I may have experience with working from home, but my mom? Not so much. I applaud her and every single teacher for all they’re doing and I’ve asked my mom to write about her experience today. Her words, as always, are incredibly wise…

quarantineWorking from home is not something I have ever even thought about in 27 years in education. I mean, 650 kids in my house? LOL. Not to mention my short attention span when I am at home (Oh, look, dishes…better put in a load of laundry….is the mail here?). You get the idea!

So, when we started this quarantine (I couldn’t even spell quarantine then, now it just rolls off my keyboard!), I couldn’t imagine what it would be like. However, things have settled into a nice routine. That doesn’t mean, though, that it’s a “fun” time. As we all know, there is a boatload of worry with what is happening with COVID-19. Lots of sadness and fear are present in our country right now. When this first happened, I couldn’t figure out why I felt so out of sorts and unproductive. Then, I did some Googling and found out that’s a real thing from the stress and worry that everyone is under. I have since tried to be more gentle with myself and encourage Melissa and Janelle to do the same. Of course, that doesn’t mean that things are hearts and roses over here. You should have been here yesterday when the three of us were all melting down at the same time. But, we got through it and today, at 5 p.m., which is a bad time around here, we promised each other that we wouldn’t have another day like yesterday, and we all calmed down.

During this time, I hope all of Melissa’s readers can take our advice and try to be gentle with yourselves. Stay healthy and safe, friends, and follow the recommendations for social distancing to keep everyone healthy! Be well…

In Which I Have a Realization About Writing

WritingConfession: I’ve been having trouble writing during the quarantine. Actually, I’ve been finding any sort of motivation hard to come by in the last couple months.

Don’t get me wrong: I know my lack of creative juices is small potatoes compared to what others are going through with COVID-19. Life is so scary and unpredictable in 2020 and we’re all struggling to make it through the day. Some days seem to be easier than others, don’t they?

So when I was looking through the 600+ drafts of blog post ideas I have saved, desperately trying to find something, anything, to write about, I came across a conversation I had with my writer friend Laura.

Coincidentally, we were talking about writing and I had a realization: So much of writing happens when we’re not actually writing. That might sound a bit counter-intuitive, but it’s true, at least for me. As I always say, “my mind is always working” — thinking of ideas, fleshing out bad ideas, even writing the beginnings of pieces in my head. And, maybe what’s even more interesting is that I’m thinking about writing even when doing the most ordinary of tasks, like brushing my teeth. I’ve thought of so many ideas for pitches while staring off into space as I brushed away all the plaque — that’s sort of amazing, isn’t it?

I suppose, then, that in my current dry spell, this idea of not-working working is somewhat of a comfort. Because, really, writing isn’t just about the actual act of sitting down and typing. Even when I’m just thinking about writing, I’m being productive! It’s all part of the process. Yes, I do wish I could try and speed up the “process” sometimes (and, yes, I have tried that in the past), but maybe the lesson in all of this is that I should just trust that process more? I figure it can’t hurt, right?

Do you sometimes find that you spend more time obsessing about writing than actually doing it? Think about writing than actually sitting down and actually doing it? That obsession gets in the way of the act itself, I’ve found. It’s something I’m definitely going to try and work on, friends… xoxo