We Need to Talk About the Capitol Attack

CapitolWelcome back, friends!! How have you been? I intended to start the year on the blog just like I usually do — you know, ease into 2021 slowly. Maybe share some photos from our holiday at home or even a post about all my hopes and dreams for the year ahead. And then I spent last Wednesday watching the scene unfold in Washington as a violent mob of Trump supporters stormed the Capitol and it was crystal clear yet again…

America has so much more work to do.

It’s that frustrated feeling I’m sure so many of you are experiencing right now too. The last week has left me feeling so angry and sad. Again. But I’m also, sadly, not surprised. Again.

For four years, we’ve seen Trump openly and unapologetically embolden and encourage his supporters. And last week, he literally emboldened them to storm the Capitol; just hours before the attack, he held a rally that was clearly a call-to-action moment for him — he knew exactly what he was doing and why he was doing it.

We’re going to have to fight much harder

We’re going to walk down to the Capitol

We will never give up…we will stop the steal

We fight like hell

Those are just some of the actual words Trump said in his speech, leaving virtually zero doubt as to his motives. Yes, he did indeed want to incite violence that day and he wanted his supporters to do it for him.

So it’s really no surprise at all that we saw those same supporters “walk down to the Capitol” as per Trump’s instructions. We saw them clad in their MAGA shirts waving Trump flags — and even more disgusting, we also saw the Confederate flag. We saw them push past police — well, the little amount of police that were there. We saw them climb the outside of the Capitol and we saw them vandalize the inside, including the lobby and the offices of Congress members.

It wasn’t a protest and it wasn’t peaceful. In fact, I’m not even sure you could call it a riot because I think we’re so beyond that at this point and we just need to call this event for what it was. This was a violent attack on the very heart of our democracy.

And, of course, we can’t ignore the blatant white privilege that was on display in how police responded — or, really, how they DIDN’T respond. Peaceful protesters marching in support of Black Lives Matter were shot with tear gas and immediately arrested over the summer. In contrast, the violent Trump mob storming the Capitol were able to post bragging videos on social media and take selfies WITH police.

Still think white privilege doesn’t exist??

CapitolSo here we are, almost a week later, and we’re left wondering: Where do we go from here?? I’m not sure and I won’t pretend to have all the answers, but I’m certain of one thing: None of what’s happened should be a surprise.

None. Of. It.

At. All.

Reminder that a lot of marginalized people like me are TIRED right now. We’ve been talking for years about Trump’s escalating behavior and dangerous politics, but some of y’all are just now clutching your pearls in surprise.

I’ll never understand that one — the writing was always on the wall here. I mean, I literally wrote about how toxic Trump is at least once a year for the last FOUR YEARS — in 2017, 2018, 2019 and 2020. How could so many people have missed all those red flags and siren warning signs?? I’ve seen so many people saying things like “this isn’t who we are” and I’m over here like…

No, this is exactly who we are and it’s exactly who we’ve been, which is why I get so frustrated every single time I see these calls for unity as if we’re all going to sit around the campfire and sing “Kumbaya.” It’s just so rich to see some Republicans calling for healing and coming together after they’ve encouraged and enabled Trump on his baseless, conspiracy-theory, full-of-lies quest to overturn the election results and undermine the very fabric of democracy — how utterly staggering is that dose of hypocrisy?

The bottom line, as we move toward impeachment this week, is that it shouldn’t have taken a siege for some people to realize all the damage that Trump has caused. And it most certainly shouldn’t have taken four years to realize how toxic he is.

CapitolWhat are your thoughts, friends? How have you been feeling about everything that’s going on? Scared? Angry? Confused? All of the above? Where do you think we go from here? Let’s chat… xoxo

[Photos by Tasos Katopodis/Getty Images and Reuters]

Happy Holidays 2020: What a Year

Happy holidaysHappy holidays, friends!

I’m going to be honest right from the beginning here. I actually debated whether or not to include the word “happy” in the title of this blog post and even now, I’m still a bit uneasy about it. It’s the end of 2020 and we’re saying goodbye to arguably the worst year of our lives — more than 300K people have died from COVID in less than a year, we’re seeing DAILY record-high numbers of new cases and deaths, people are unemployed and struggling and…well, I could go on and on and on!

So, naturally, it can be hard to see a lot of good right now. I personally have days where I’m extremely pessimistic and can’t see anything good or even redeeming about this year. Maybe you feel the same?

That’s OK if you do. In fact, I’d be surprised if you didn’t feel all this gloom and doom. It can get to be pretty overwhelming sometimes, right? Happy holidays it most definitely is not.

I went into 2020 with such a strong sense of optimism. I was going to continue to grow my career and social media platform and maybe even start seriously thinking about that book I’ve always daydreamed about — ahhh, yes, the possibilities were endless, boundless and ripe for the taking.

It was going to be MY YEAR. But — spoiler alert! — it wasn’t my year and I suspect it wasn’t your year either. Maybe that’s why posting about the “happy” holidays just doesn’t really feel right this year — almost insensitive even! Because the truth is, our lives are never going to be the same; we can pretend that everything is “normal” and just fine, but nothing has been even remotely fine for almost an entire year.

As I began reflecting on my writing career and just life in general in 2020, I started getting down on myself for not publishing as many pieces as last year and generally not being nearly as productive — or motivated. Then again, we weren’t in a pandemic last year! So here’s a Year-In-Review for the year I’m so happy to see ending soon…

Happy holidaysI blogged about love and relationships, like how disabled women are hot, an open letter to my sister for her 35th birthday, missing my father, conversations with my mom and what life in quarantine is like.

Happy holidaysDisability posts, such as why I spent a year posting selfies, why the 2020 election mattered so much, the 30th anniversary of the ADA, why I WANT you to see my wheelchair in photos and, of course, TROLLS.

Happy holidaysTons of pop culture tidbits, like my love of Frozen 2’s Kristoff, Little Women, The Baby-Sitters Club reboot, an ode to Peppermint Patty (the best Peanuts character), Chuck E. Cheese and 20 years after “Oops!… I Did It Again”!! Oh, and I also became obsessed with the Dolly Parton Challenge!

Happy holidaysAnd you all know I got deeply political too, with posts like what Trump’s Donna Reed comments reveal about misogyny, Trump’s mantrum at the Lincoln Memorial, thank you, Elizabeth Warren, the trap of Female Electability and Nancy Pelosi and that Revolutionary Rip. And of course, I had a message for Karen.

Happy holidaysI also published 17 freelance pieces this year for publications like Stylist, Travel and Leisure, SheKnows, Rooted in Rights, DAME, Washington Post and CNN Opinion. I truly loved writing about my favorite topics like disabilities, pop culture and political and social commentary. My absolute favorite, though, was getting to interview THE Bradley Whitford for my political dramas piece! As you can probably imagine, I almost died because The West Wing is just the greatest TV show on the planet! He was so nice and kind!

(Also, I still have some bylines from 2020 that I haven’t shared on the blog yet, so look for those in January!)

Of course, I would be remiss if I didn’t end this holiday post with a very important reminder:

You might not know because it’s not trending anymore, but the United States has reached 322K deaths from COVID. 322K people have died in just 10 months! This virus isn’t some intangible thing and I’m going to keep repeating this: If you’re still making holiday travel plans, JUST STOP. We’re in the middle of a pandemic. Stop trying to make normal happen…

Here I am at the local university library. It’s one of my favorite haunts, a place I loved going to for the quiet hours of writing and to get lots of work done. I took this photo on March 4th and haven’t been back there since. In fact, I’ve only left my neighborhood twice in the last nine months and those two times were for medical appointments.

We all have places we miss because of the pandemic and it’s OK to feel that sadness sometimes! But what’s not OK is being reckless and dangerous. Wear your damn mask, practice social distancing and for all that is holy, JUST STAY HOME this year!! Please. People keep saying that this pandemic is going to give us a whole new perspective and we’re all going to be changed people.

I’m over here like: Ummm, based on the shenanigans I’m seeing, y’all haven’t learned a damn thing. People being selfish and reckless. People doing whatever they want as if they’re adult toddlers. People not wearing masks.

Seriously, y’all need to GET IT TOGETHER.

Well, there you are…2020. The year that was and wasn’t in so many different ways. I don’t know about you, but I desperately need a long break!! And that’s exactly what I’m going to do! I’ll be taking my annual holiday break, enjoying time with my mom and sister and just generally getting my chill on after this wretched, wretched year. Look for new posts starting on Monday, January 11th, 2021.

Thank you so much for coming along on this journey with me this year, friends!! I’m still so shocked and grateful that people actually read my little old blog and I love you all so much! Go rest, relax and recharge and I’ll see you back here next year! May it be a better year than 2020 was!

Happy holidays — as happy as we can be right now! xoxo

And as always, feel free to connect with me on Pinterest, Twitter, Facebook, Instagram and Bloglovin! See you there!!

Thanksgiving Is Different This Year. And It Should Be.

ThanksgivingI had big plans for this week, friends!! I was going to blog every day, send some pitches out and check things off my to-do list right and left. Well, here we are — it’s Friday and this is my first blog post of the week. So you can pretty much guess how I did with those other goals…or, actually, didn’t do. But this week did get me thinking about Thanksgiving and the upcoming holiday season.

This Thanksgiving is going to be different. There’s no denying that, no getting around it, no pretending COVID doesn’t exist, no going on about our lives as if things were normal.

Because our lives? They’re not normal and they haven’t been for months. Nothing is normal. It’s been EIGHT MONTHS since I first wrote about COVID. Doesn’t that seem like a lifetime ago now? Eight months and, honestly, I sometimes feel like nothing has changed, especially when it comes to how people are living. People are brazen at best and unashamed at worst — proudly defying mask wearing and social distancing mandates in the name of their “freedom” while constantly putting others at risk.

I can’t with this nonsense anymore. And when I think about the holiday season, I just get even more afraid. Thanksgiving is less than a week away. There are now 252K people who will never get to spend another holiday — or ANY day — with their loved ones.

The least y’all could do is not be selfish with your holiday gatherings! What I’m seeing right now is a whole bunch of reckless and irresponsible.

Suffice it to say, I’m not looking forward to watching these irresponsible holiday shenanigans unfold on social media; I don’t want to see photos of your raucous family wearing ugly Christmas sweaters and huddled all close together around the tree. I promise, everyone will be OK without your secret-recipe pumpkin pie for one year, Aunt Karen!

ThanksgivingIf I sound a bit angry, well, it’s because I am. And I’m frustrated beyond belief. I can’t tell you how many times I’ve seen people say “people should be able to decide what they want to do without judgment.”

But here’s the thing: No one is an island. What you do — and the germs you carry — impact other people! We need to start acting like a global community and actually care about the well-being of those around us.

The pandemic isn’t over just because you want life to be “normal” again.

We can still enjoy Thanksgiving this year, though! Create a family meeting on Zoom or do a FaceTime dessert time. Our lives may not be normal right now, but that doesn’t mean we can’t create new, safe traditions and enjoy ourselves!!

Just know that if you’re feeling like you’re running on empty, I see you and I’m right there with you! I’m taking the next week off to rest and recharge and I hope you can take some time for you too!

I’ll be back to regular posting on Monday, November 30th — and I’ve got an exciting collaboration coming up in early December that I’m so excited about.

Please, please stay safe, friends!! Have a lovely, happy, distant Thanksgiving!! xoxo

It’s Election Day: Here’s Why Your Vote Matters

Election DayWell, friends, the important day is finally here. Election Day. Truthfully, I’ve been counting down the days for the last four years! Why? Because to say this is a crucial election is an understatement…

Did you vote early?? I voted a couple weeks ago and it was a powerful experience. When I voted in the primary back in March, the pandemic had just begun. Now, it’s seven months later. We’re still in the pandemic and 232K people have died from COVID. I voted for those 232K people who never got to see another election.

In 2020, there’s an overwhelming sense of urgency that we just can’t ignore. It’s incredibly palpable — we feel it and see it and guess what?? It should move us to action and to the voting booth even quicker; something has to change because our country, our democracy, can’t take four more years of what we’ve been living.

Remember that Biden Town Hall from a couple months ago? The former vice president was visibly angry at the state of this country and that was SO refreshing to see from a politician. With everything Trump has done, politicians on both sides of the aisle are still like “eh, what are you gonna do?”

We should be angry. All of us.

So you know what we’re going to do??? We’re going to VOTE because our lives and our futures depend on it.

I don’t know how to make this any more clear, but now is NOT the time for third-party or write-in votes. We can’t afford a repeat of 2016. The only statement your “protest vote” makes is one about your privilege.

Make no mistake: A third-party vote IS a vote for Trump.

Period. Full stop.

Reminder that you can’t vote for Trump and still say you care about disabled people like me. I’m not just voting for myself. I’m voting on behalf of all disabled people. I’m voting for the future that I want to see in my lifetime — a future where disabled people are accepted and inclusion isn’t an after-thought, where our full personhood is recognized.

Election DayVoting is an enormous responsibility and I’ve never taken that lightly. Our world feels so out of control right now, but voting is one thing we all can do to take back some of that control. We all have a say in our future!

SPEAK UP

BE COUNTED

VOTE

I talk about politics a lot because the personal is political.

As a disabled woman, I’m excited to be voting for Joe Biden. Disabled people deserve a president who doesn’t mock them, but instead will fight for their human rights and dignity.

That shouldn’t be too much to ask.

President Biden and Vice President Harris: Coming to an America near you in 2021. Are you READY??? xoxo

P.S. Earlier today, I chatted LIVE on Facebook with Senator Bob Casey from Pennsylvania!! We talked about why this Election Day is so critical for people with disabilities. You can watch the video here.

[Top photo from Joe Biden official site]

How Have You Been Feeling Lately?

FeelingHow have y’all been feeling lately?

I found this photo from my birthday a couple years ago and realized that I’ve since lost that cool, cheery cup!! It’s sort of symbolic, isn’t it? We haven’t had many “best days ever” during the pandemic. And, honestly, it sometimes feels like those carefree, innocent days are gone forever, doesn’t it??

Yes, these are certainly strange times, indeed. I don’t know about you, but I’ve been having ALL the feelings lately. I’ve been sad. I’ve been angry. I’ve been anxious. I’ve been confused. I’ve been scared.

See, so many emotions!! It can even be hard to sort through them all at times.

In 2016, I wrote these words in a blog post: “On the outside, it may look like I’m one of those cool, nonchalant girls who is just soooo relaxed and has it all together. But on the inside? I’m one gigantic mess of feels.”

I don’t have this whole life thing figured out. I don’t think any of us know exactly what we’re doing. This big thing called life is just one giant, utterly complete mystery.

I’ve shared a lot about my depression and these last few months of the pandemic feels like a sort of hazy dream. My depression was one of the scariest times in my life and I kept a diary during that time. A few months ago, I read through it for the first time. I haven’t opened that diary in 9 years (maybe out of fear?), but I wanted to share a passage because it captures depression/what we’re all feeling during quarantine/all these emotions so perfectly…

You can be a strong person and you can be a happy person — I was both those things before I became depressed. But depression is a physical illness and it’s not something you can just power through with strength and a smile. It doesn’t mean you’re weak or lazy. It means you’re sick…and it’s not your fault. Let’s change the conversation around mental illness, OK?
The world is so scary right now, so I’m going to keep clinging to the things that bring me joy. No matter how small. Life is hard and confusing right now, but I hope y’all are having a good day today!! We’ll get through this together… xoxo