SheKnows writing Archives - So About What I Said

Thursday, September 28, 2017

My Essay on SheKnows: “Why Grey’s Anatomy Is My Comfort TV Show”

Oh, friends! I’m pretty sure it’s not a coincidence that I posted about fall TV shows yesterday and then am sharing my newest essay for SheKnows today! And of course, I’m extra excited because I got to write about one of my favorite shows: Grey’s Anatomy!!!

When my editor emailed me last month to see if I had any ideas for health essays to coincide with the return of all our favorite shows, I had to do a bit of thinking. How could I possibly relate TV shows to health topics, especially to something like my disability? Was there even anything worthwhile to say?

And that’s when it hit me: OF COURSE!!! Like a metaphorical light bulb shining over my head, it came to me. The idea was practically staring me right in the face! I’ve realized that I don’t just watch Grey’s Anatomy and other medical dramas for the uber cute doctors; I mean, those docs are a very nice perk, but my love definitely goes much, much deeper than that.

Here’s an excerpt of the essay, in which I talk about how watching medical dramas is basically like watching a home movie that brings on all the feels of happy family memories…

It started in the small living room of our apartment, where we would gather every weekend for frozen pizza and episodes of ER and Chicago Hope, my mom and sister lounging on the couch and my dad curled up under a blanket on the floor. Sometimes, we’d even diagnose a patient before the doctors on the screen. It was as if all those years in the hospital were the perfect training — our own private “med school,” if you will…

As odd as it sounds, I’m reminded of happy times when I was young and with my family. It’s sort of like going home again. In a world where everything is constantly changing, I can spend an hour each week catching up with the Grey’s crew and also feel like my past is still close to me, like I can still somehow hold onto a piece of my father even in his absence.

You can read the full essay here and I’d love to hear your thoughts. Feel free to email me anytime at mellow1422@aol.com and let’s chat! And of course, feel free to share my essay on Facebook, Twitter or even your local refrigerator. If you share on Twitter, be sure to tag me @melissablake so we can connect! I can’t wait to hear from you! Love you all… xoxo

Tuesday, May 16, 2017

My Essay on SheKnows: “Why My Disability Strengthened My Relationship With My Mom”

Last week, I shared my first essay on Ravishly in honor of Mother’s Day. The piece was an homage to The Golden Girls and how binge-watching the series with my mom helped us bond. Well, I’m just as excited to share another essay — with a family theme, of course! This time, I got to write for SheKnows again on how my disability helped me bond with my mom!

It sounds paradoxical, right? It did to me, at least at first. I mean, how could something like my disability be viewed as something so…positive? I’d certainly never really thought of it like that in the past. We’re always so quick to rattle off the laundry list of the horrible side effects of disabilities and how all they do is wreak havoc on everything in life. And while that’s true (I’d sure know all about that!), there’s also a subtle magic that I’ve discovered.

My essay “Why My Disability Strengthened My Relationship With My Mom” ran last week and I was so happy to be able to show it to my mom in time for Mother’s Day.

Here’s an excerpt of the essay, in which I talk about how my strong bond with my mom is one of those beautiful subtleties…

Through all the scary medical procedures and uncertainty that came along with growing up with a disability, we were truly there for each other. She’d comfort me in the hospital and make me laugh when I was feeling down. When I was 11, I contracted an infection in the hospital and had to be there for 31 days. Surprisingly, my mom managed to find a way to make the extended stay tolerable, whether we were going up to the top floor of the hospital at night to look out over the Chicago skyline or taking trips to the cafeteria for an afternoon lemonade. I shared this experience with my mom, as stressful as it was, and she’s one of the only other people who know what it was like.

That’s not to say our entire relationship revolved around my disability. We definitely had our ups and downs apart from my medical adventures, but one thing I was always sure of? My mom was in my corner — this is something I never doubted. Whether she was always there with an encouraging word or a stern piece of advice, I knew she had my best interest at heart. Especially after my father died suddenly in 2003, we leaned on each other for survival during some very dark days. Watching the way my mother journeyed through grief gave me the strength to keep going and helped me get to where I am today.

Wednesday, April 26, 2017

My Essay on SheKnows: “Celebrating Someone Else’s Suicide Is Just Plain Wrong”

Like the rest of the world, I watched with horror last week as news broke of the suicides of Steve Stephens and Aaron Hernandez. Their crimes were surely unspeakable, but one thing I found equally as unspeakable? Some of the reactions I saw on Facebook. And, you know me, friends, I’ve never been one to keep my mouth shut, especially when it comes to the topic of suicide. As is usually the case with me, I was moved to write about this very topic. The result is my latest essay for SheKnows, which gets at root of why being happy about suicide is harmful

I never thought I’d have to say this out loud to the entire world, but, apparently, I do! My essay “Celebrating Someone Else’s Suicide Is Just Plain Wrong” ran yesterday, and I’m really proud of the way it turned out. At first, I didn’t know exactly what I wanted to say. I didn’t want to come off merely rambling, but I knew there were some things that needed to be said. So, I made it my mission to sit down on Monday morning and let my fingers do the talking on the keyboard. By lunchtime, I had the essay finished. By late afternoon, I had an acceptance from an editor.

Here’s an excerpt of the essay, in which I try to remind people of the plight of suicide survivors and the lifelong journey they face following this type of loss…

Because really, no one “won” anything here. People’s reactions to these recent deaths raise so many issues surrounding mental health, suicide and public perception in this country. To see someone’s death being treated so cruelly and heartlessly is simply unacceptable. It’s beyond irresponsible and reckless.

You might want to take a moment and think about how insensitive your words are. How can we look at the grieving families that suicide leaves behind and tell them that they’re better off? How can we tell them that this was for the best? How can we even tell them that they will get over this and somehow find a way to go on? How can we say all that and then face ourselves after? At the very least, what does this say about who we are and what does this say about our character?

Monday, March 20, 2017

My Essay on SheKnows: “How Beauty and the Beast Became My Story”

Do you feel it, friends? It seems like everyone is coming down with an acute case of Beauty and the Beast fever these days! With Disney’s release of Beauty and the Beast last week, the tale as old as time is on everyone’s must-see list; I’ve been counting down the days until the film’s release myself and completely fell in love all over again every time I’d see the trailer! It’s magical, isn’t it? I’ve also been anxiously waiting to share my essay on SheKnows! It’s my first for the women’s site and it’s about how my disability has really made me identify with the Beast.

It’s called “How Beauty and the Beast Became My Story” and — SPOILER ALERT!!! — in my story, I’m not Belle. I’m the Beast. It’s funny because both my mom and sister read it and said it made them kind of sad, but I actually feel the opposite about it. Writing this essay, I never once looked at this as a depressing or heartbreaking thing. I was merely sharing a part of myself, a part of my story, and that felt incredibly powerful and freeing, to say the least.

Here’s an excerpt of the essay, in which I admit to the world that I’m probably the only girl on the planet who did not identify with Belle…

A big part of me felt like I was on an island, as if I was living alone in my own private castle, just like the Beast. I may not have consciously locked myself away, but I definitely didn’t do much to put myself out there, either, especially where love was concerned. It was probably just better to keep to myself instead of taking a chance and getting hurt, I reasoned. Who could ever love a girl in a wheelchair, I wondered?

Looking back, maybe I’d always felt like the Beast. I never understood it much as a child, but as I’ve journeyed through adulthood, the story has become my story. I never felt like people “saw me” – not the real me, anyway. They just always saw the outside – my deformed body and my wheelchair – and quickly made their assumptions. Assumptions that were, more often than not, completely off base.