In Defense of ‘Being Boring’

In a world of exotic flavors, I’m what you’d call pretty vanilla. I’d choose a Friday night of Netflix over an evening out on the town. I prefer to keep my lunch menu pretty simple and consistent — usually a PB&J or ham sandwich. And only recently did I get my first new hairstyle since the late ’80s.

Like I said, some may consider me a Boring Betty. Go ahead, you can call me that if you’d like; I mean, after all, it’s nothing I haven’t heard before…

But here’s the thing: I’m perfectly OK with that. Really, really OK. Dare I even say…I’m actually happy with my supposedly ‘boring‘ life.

Allow me to explain.

I’ve long heard the chants from the Anti-Boring Camp. Now, I don’t begrudge them their lifestyle, of course, but wow! They sure are busy people — always running here or doing this or scheduling that. I often picture the old Batman TV show, where those action bubbles pop up on the screen during the nail-biting fight scenes.

POW. BOOM. ZAP.

Something is always going on, which is fine for some people. That’s just how they are, how they operate — maybe it’s built into their personality or DNA somehow?

I’ve never been like that, though. Well, at least not by choice, anyway. My life is decidedly smooth and steady — two adjectives that, I’ll admit, don’t exactly scream a “party-hopping, cruise-ship-boarding, paint-the-town-red” lifestyle. And, honestly, there was a time when I found myself being my own worst critic about it all. Am I doing something wrong? Has my “invitation” get lost in the mail? Have I misplaced my metaphorical dancing shoes?

I didn’t really know the answer to those questions. At least not right at first, anyway. It took awhile for it all to sink in, but I eventually realized that it all had to do with the grand scheme of timing. For the first 20 years of my life, everything was one busy activity after another. My life was consumed by medical stuff, and as I’m sure lots of you know, all that medical stuff can get really exhausting really quickly. I rarely felt like I had any time to catch my breath.

So it’s almost as if Adult Me is ready for some not-so-busy adventures. At long last. It’s SO refreshing to feel like I can finally wipe the calendar clean and sort of start over with a new chapter — one that I have more of a hand in writing and directing.

Besides, if you think about it, what’s really so wrong with ‘boring’? We tend to view the term in a very negative way. We may see people we perceive as boring and also think they’re unfulfilled in life or are feeling dissatisfied in some way. So we may pity them, as in, “Oh, they lead such a boring life. How sad.” Other times, we use their life as a cautionary tale, like, “Yikes! I mustn’t let that happen to me. That cannot be my downfall.” A boring life doesn’t mean a life completely devoid of fun and excitement, you know?

I encourage you to embrace your boring side. It’s not something to be ashamed of or something you desperately need to hide. If it’s your lifestyle of choice, own it proudly! At the very least, I urge you to be at one with it. Don’t be afraid and don’t try to run away from it. It’s not some monster under your bed and it’s must definitely NOT going to hurt you. I promise.

Are you comfortable being boring, friends? Or do you prefer to keep busy with lots of activities? Let’s chat, shall we? xoxo

[Photos via We Heart It]

Four Ways To Survive Thanksgiving With Relatives

The tableau is all too familiar by now. In fact, some may say it even borders on the cliche: Family members come together to “enjoy” a meal. After a few uncomfortable shuffles in their chairs, some awkward eye contact and clanking of silverware, the most popular topic of conversation is decided upon.

The Turkey.

Yes, he’s quite a popular fellow, apparently, inspiring awe and unifying people across politics, race, religion, etc. He can calm all that tension and fuss.

But, I’m not naive. I’m a modern girl, after all, and I do understand that these are stressful times in which we live. Even if we’re *thisclose* to our family, the holidays can no doubt be a tough time, full of unknown and surprisingly minefields — and mindfields (pun intended). We’re forced to navigate a sometimes-uncharted territory of feelings, personalities and eccentricities that, if we’re not very, very careful and delicate, could translate to one very uncomfortable and looooong day for everyone.

So! If you’d like to enjoy the Day of Thankfulness beyond the standard Turkey Talk, follow these four tips. They’ll have you wishing it was Thanksgiving every day of the year. Well, maybe not every day, but you get the idea…

1. Games, games, games: No, I’m not talking about emotional games here. Set out some classic games to play after dinner — or before, if you’re desperate — to diffuse some of that tension. We did this a couple years ago and the time just flew by!

2. Reminisce over family photos: As long as they’re not the embarrassing ones that will cause everyone to make fun of you, of course! Family history, especially those happy memories of yore, unites people. I mean, one minute your grandmother is nagging you about getting married and the next she’s back to being her adorable self, telling you about the wild trouble she’d get into during weekends at the beach with her friends in the ’50s. See? Problem solved.

3. Make the conversation a competition: It’s no secret that family can bring out the Olympic competitor in all of us, so why not make things a little more interesting? How about the first one to say something negative has to clear the table or help with the dishes? I pretty sure that will seal everyone’s lips really quickly.

4. One word…Netflix: Seriously, if all else fails, pop some popcorn, pick a movie (one that the majority agrees on…remember, no fighting, please!) and just chill on the couch. Like family photos, people become united around the television, especially when Netflix is involved. We’ve spent countless hours binge-watching shows like House of Cards, Orange Is The New Black, Damages and Bloodline. Also: Three Nostalgic Movies, 100 Best Releases on Netflix and The Best Movies of 2015. Like I said, Netflix is just the gift that keeps on giving.

There you go, friends! Now you can go bravely to those family gatherings tomorrow, knowing that you’re armed and ready with all the knowledge and armor you’ll ever need to combat any sticky family situations. What other tips would you add? What’s worked for you in the past? What hasn’t? I’d love to hear… xoxo

In The Pursuit of Happiness: Adele on Being Yourself

Hello!! Adele is certainly having a moment, isn’t she? After a four-year hiatus, the tell-it-like-it-is singer is back and better than ever — she’s even toppled *NSYNC’s first-week album sales record! And if that wasn’t enough, she recently shelled out a heavy dose of inspiration in an interview with SiriusXM…

“I do have body image problems, for sure, but I don’t let them rule my life at all,” she says. “And there’s bigger issues going on in the world than how I might feel about myself. There’s only one of you, so why would you want to look like everyone else?” she said. “Why would you want to have the same hairstyle as everyone else and have the same opinions as everybody else?”

We see celebrities like Adele and think they have these glossy, airbrushed, perfect lives. They seem to have the right clothes, the right hair and the right makeup. So when they come out and “get real” about life, you can tell that it comes from a genuine place. This is why we can all relate to Adele. She’s our Spirit Animal and basically says everything we’re all thinking, which is so refreshing, if you ask me. In a world of fakeness, we definitely need something real to counteract all that negativity.

Are you an Adele fan, friends? What’s your favorite song? You all know I’m in love with Someone Like You — I’ve been known to walk roll around the house singing it all day long. Thanks for all the Girl Crush inspiration, Adele! xoxo

P.S. A new Tuesday Tunes is coming up soon! :)

[Via Marie Claire]

Funny Illustrations on Aging

These illustrations on age by artist Samantha Jayne are spot-on, aren’t they? They may be geared toward that classic Quarter-Life Crisis, but there’s something so universal and relatable about them — something that transcends age…

Thumbs up! We’re all in this Life Stuff together, right? xoxo

P.S. A new Love Lounge is coming up shortly! :)

Who Are The Most Important People In Your Life?

Remember last week when we were talking about the benefits of quality over quantity when it comes to friendship? Well, I was also fascinated with the work done by Robin Dunbar, whose pioneering research into primate activity led to an estimation of the maximum size of social groupings in both primates and humans. The magic maximum number, you wonder?

150.

That’s the maximum number of relationships most people can manage. But perhaps even more realistic, he found, was that people typically have five people closest to them; the state of our well-being tends to come from those five special people.

I’ll admit, that number got me thinking. Five people. Is it really possible to narrow the list down to such a short number, I wondered? No matter where I am in life, I know I’d be nowhere without my closest friends and family…

*My mom: I mean, c’mon, the lady’s Ms. Bear, after all. If that isn’t reason enough, then I don’t know what is. She’s literally saved me so many times since my father died and I don’t know where I’d be without her.

*Janelle: My sister is someone who never ceases to amaze me. She can make me laugh and always has the power to talk some sense into me by her “give-it-to-me-straight” attitude, which is something I find so refreshing.

*Jalyn: One of my oldest friends is the kind of person who is always there for you, typically ready with a smile and a hug.

*Mona: My cousin has always been one of my #1 role models ever since I was little. I’ve admired her determination, and she’s taught me so much about self-confidence over the years, even if she didn’t know it.

*Aunt Elaine: My mom’s sister is one of my favorite people ever. She’s laid-back, gives great advice and is as much a dog lover as we are cat lovers. Plus, I love getting her and my mom together and seeing the family stories fly!

So many people come into our lives and leave their mark, but there are those people with whom your connection runs deep — it’s the sort of lifelong connection that can’t be broken by time or distance, right? You change them and they change you. It’s really a beautiful thing, especially when you think of the fact that you don’t even know who might consider you one of their “close” people. Life sure is funny like that, isn’t it?

Who are you closest to, friends? How have these people changed your life for the better and how do you think you’ve changed theirs? Have you grown closer to certain people over the years? Let’s share our stories in the comments! xoxo

[Photos via We Heart It]