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Tuesday, February 6, 2018

10 Lessons From 13 Years on Facebook

FacebookWow, 13 years on Facebook!!! Happy anniversary to me!!!

That’s a lot of status updates and meme sharing and vaguebooking. And, let’s be real, that’s a lot of late-night mindless scrolling!! While I’m by no means a Facebook expert, I have managed to learn a few things along the way. Here are 10 gems I’m thinking about today…

1. The world is smaller than we think: Facebook has made keeping in touch as easy as a few clicks of the mouse! Unlike some people who bemoan the FB’s negative effects on our social world, I actually think it’s great for relationships! There are people I haven’t seen for years, people who have moved to different states, but we’re still connected and keeping up with each other’s lives. That’s a beautiful thing, if you ask me!

2. It’s OK to unfriend (and block!) people: Yes, some of these people may be family (been there!), but you are under no obligation to keep people as your “friend” when they act like the complete opposite.

3. I’ll never understand poking: Is it subtle flirting? Just a way to say hello? What is it? Maybe Mark Z. should release a memo about this or something because I’m confused!!

4. Facebook envy is REAL: All those happy photos of people YOLO-ing on a sandy beach? Yeah, they can give me a case of jealousy sometimes too.

5. Don’t engage with the Trump supporters: In the name of full transparency, I haven’t mastered this yet. For some reason, I just can’t help myself…they all enrage me!!

6. If you mansplain anything to me, we’re done: Yes, this has happened! I’ve unfriended cheeky blokes who thought they needed to enlighten me. Turns out, THEY were the clueless ones!!

7. Bullying doesn’t end with adult: Sadly, I’ve been witness to far too much bullying lately, and even sadder? This bullying is done by women to women. It’s catty and vicious. GROW UP!!

8. Ms. Bear will always be my #1 Facebook friend: She’s just the cutest. For years, I tried to get her to join and she refused. Until 2008, and, well, she hasn’t looked back! Now, she spends more time scrolling than I do!

9. Umm, I actually like Twitter more: I know, that may be straight-up blasphemy, but Twitter is totally lit! I’m telling you — it’s a much more happening place!!

10. A Rick Astley meme makes everyone smile: Everyone’s favorite ’80s crooner lives on!! And I, for one, am never gonna give him up!!

FacebookSee? You’re smiling right now, aren’t you? Told you!! What do you love about Facebook, friends? Do you have a favorite social media platform? Oh, and be sure to follow So About What I Said’s Facebook here! xoxo

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Leave a Comment Filed Under: Entertainment and Media, Facebook series, Random Fun

Wednesday, March 5, 2014

Love Lounge: Dating in the age of Facebook

We’ve already established that dating and social media don’t always mesh well together — Google, anyone? And it can be even harder to know where the line is between what is considered acceptable and what will place you *thisclose* to resembling a lead actress in a Lifetime movie. I mean, think about it. It used to be that you’d break up with someone, throw all their stuff in a box and that would be it. You’d never have to see them again. But now, there’s really no cutting of the cord when it comes to the end of a relationship. Thanks to Facebook, unless you listen to your rational head and unfriend your ex, you’ll still get a play-by-play of their lives — photos included, of course.

And let’s just be honest here: When it comes to love, we never listen to our heads. The heart is always louder, and its resolve can be pretty weak. Chances are, it would take the strength of a few mountains to get us to cut those Facebook ties.

Even though my dating slate is pretty clean, I’m still victim to this. Facebook is not a friendly place for a girl who tends to fall in love too quickly and crush hard. Trust me, it’s not. It’s practically a jungle out there. And with the few clicks, forgetting about certain boys is next to impossible.

Don’t believe me? There’s some definitive science to back things up, and who can argue with cold, hard facts? A University of California study of 24 subjects between the ages of 19 and 34 found that more than one-third couldn’t bring themselves to delete the digital version of their love story such as photos, and the remaining content acted as a “constant reminder.”

Does Facebook play a role in your dating life? How? Has its role changed over the years, or has it remained pretty consistent? Let’s chat, friends! xoxo

[Photos via We Heart It]

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5 Comments Filed Under: Dating, Facebook Fun, Facebook Fun Week, Facebook series, Facebook week, Heartbreak, Love Lessons, Love Lounge, Uncategorized

Monday, March 3, 2014

Would You Rather: Give up Facebook or your favorite TV show…?

Argh! It’s the ultimate dilemma: If you had to choose, would you rather give up Facebook or your favorite TV show? For the rest of your life. Translation: F-O-R-E-V-E-R (said like that classic scene in The Sandlot).

So, which is it, friends? Look for my pick in the comments… xoxo

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9 Comments Filed Under: Entertainment and Media, Facebook Fun, Facebook Fun Week, Facebook series, Facebook week, television, TV, Uncategorized, would you rather

Wednesday, February 26, 2014

MEMO TO MEN: 3 things you should never post on Facebook

MEMORANDUM
TO: Men all over the planet
FROM: Melissa
RE: Stop! Facebook must-know advice!
DATE: February 26th, 2014

Picture this, boys: It’s a typical Friday night. You’re out on the town with your buddies. Maybe you’re taking in a local concert or cruising the singles bar scene hoping to run into your high school girlfriend who’s rumored to be back in town. And of course, you’ve got your phone with you. It’s 2014…I mean, that thing is practically attached to your hip. You never know when you’ll want to update your Facebook, Tweet a photo of your breakfast or Instagram your buddy singing Celine Dion at last night’s karaoke jam session. You want to be ready whenever the moment strikes.

But then you inevitably wake up the next morning, your phone neatly perched on the pillow next to you in bed. You manage to open your eyes as it all comes rushing back to you — one hazy memory at a time. What happened the night before, you wonder? You’re hungover, but not from alcohol. Just as those familiar feelings begin to wash over you, you suddenly remember everything in vivid detail.

You went wild and crazy on Facebook.

Now, I’ll be the first to admit that Facebook, in all its social media glory, can be quite the intoxicating jungle. With its up-to-the-minute payoff, we can do more and stay more connected then ever these days. But those benefits come with a few strings attached. Well, many strings, actually. Fear not, though, for I’m here to help you, boys. The next time you log on, think really, really hard about what you’re about to do. I hate to be the one to have to break it to you, but there’s no going back when it comes to the great power that is social media. So with that in mind — and with your fingers away from the publish button for the moment — I give you three things you should never post on Facebook. Because, let’s face it, no one — especially us ladies — wants to see these splashed across your Facebook page (and, yes, I will cop to the fact that some of these are completely based on my own life experience, but I think the lesson still applies)…

The hundredth photo of you at the bar
Not only will employers undoubtedly run into these someday, but I mean, c’mon, you’re 25 already. Do you really still want to be doing this? Doesn’t there come a point where it just gets old after awhile — or at least, doesn’t it get old posting photo after photo of you and your friends at the beer pong table?

Statuses bashing your ex and all her friends
Posting a status that insults someone is just bad form, no matter who you’re directing it at. It’s immature and pretty disrespectful. I bet said statuses will make future potential girlfriends weary. After all, can you blame them? They don’t want to be the next target of you cyber wrath.

Love notes/overly mushy details about your girlfriend
The other side of the spectrum isn’t good either. You know, when you’re constantly posting about how much you love your girlfriend, how it’s your 52-day anniversary and how Peter Gabriel’s In Your Eyes is totally your song. Good for you. Really. That’s great. Awesome, even — except for the girl who may or may not have slight feelings for you and has to watch your entire perfect relationship play out before her like a romantic comedy.

The lesson here: Facebook is most certainly not like Las Vegas. What happens on Facebook does not stay on Facebook. It will follow you and haunt you, so be careful. And, please, think twice the next time you’re dying to post that photo of you and your girlfriend. I (ooops, I mean everyone…) thank you! xoxo

[Photos via We Heart It]

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3 Comments Filed Under: Facebook Fun, Facebook Fun Week, Facebook series, Facebook week, Love Lessons, Memo To Men, Uncategorized

Tuesday, February 25, 2014

How Facebook helped me be myself

Like yesterday’s Facebook story, I wrote this piece nearly five years ago. What a perfect time to reminisce!

Facebook Flirt* was the sort of guy I should have known in high school but didn’t. Even though we attended the same school, I never spoke one word to him.

But now, years later, I see he’s the perfect guy: He’s smart. He’s a musician and an accountant. He loves mural painting and the beach.

How do I know all this? Easy. We friended each other on Facebook. Looking back now, it’s hard to believe my own world-changing revelations that would result from that simple first click. In hind-sight, I certainly did more than ‘add a friend.’

In our world of social networking, Facebook has rendered the traditional high school reunion virtually obsolete. In fact, Facebook is swiftly becoming the new Google, only easier and with less risk of carpal tunnel from typing all the different permutations of search terms. Facebook, lucky for me, was the curious and nosey girl’s dream come true. It’s like a single’s bar, only better because A). You’re not in a bar and B). You actually know more about the person than simply his first name and his go-to karaoke song.

But with ease comes a new sense of intensity. It’s all a lot of pressure. You get photos, up-to-the second status updates, even live chatting.

Until Facebook came along, I was what most people would consider a social wallflower. I was shy, quiet and admittedly, a bit unsure of myself. And when it came to love and relationships, those qualities were only magnified. I suppose my physical disability had something to do with it. In a world where blondes and brunettes with long legs ruled supreme, I’d resigned myself to the fact that my physical disability by default made me a Spinster For Life.

I’m not entirely sure what it was about Facebook Flirt, though, but something about him made me not want to settle for my self-imposed Spinster sentence. Maybe I needed a challenge or maybe I genuinely saw something in him that made me think “This guy might not be like all the rest. This one might be different.” Whatever the reason, I casually sent him a message one afternoon, carefully choosing my words so as to come off as casual and subtle as possible without sounding like a complete certifiable clinger.

Though I tricked myself into believing I didn’t care if he replied or not, I was secretly giddy inside wondering if I’d hear back from him. And I did, a few days later, when he sent me this response. I sat there like a bobby-socks, hair-twirling school girl analyzing the note. OMG, he’s read some of my writing….and not just ‘some’ but ‘A LOT.’ OMG, he actually liked what he read. OMG, he wants to type with me soon.

OMG, what was I going to type back? I shot off this reply, after several hours of contemplation. The reply had to be subtle, yet make a bold statement. I had to be forward, yet not reek of desperation. It had to be casual, yet inviting.

Over the next few months, the inevitable poking war ensued. I’d ‘poke’ him. He’d ‘poke’ me back. I’d return the gesture with another ‘poke’ and so on. We settled into a comfortable rhythm, and even I’ll admit my face light up with a smile each time I logged on and saw that magic poking finger icon. Never mind the fact that I had virtually no idea the hidden meaning behind the elusive pokes – some Facebookers say it’s just a way to say hello while other Facebookers say it’s a subtle form of flirting. I chose to believe the latter, naturally.

I should be over this, shouldn’t I? But frankly, I liked the way this dance made me feel. Facebook gave me a new sense of boldness I’d only seen other woman pull of. I felt somewhat empowered by it, to say the least. Over the next few months, we flirted like innocent high schoolers: posting witty things on each other’s wall, more poking, yet all the while keeping everything a bit subtle, mysterious even.

Six months later, I began thinking a bit deeper, about everything our little banter had meant to me. I, finally, got to know someone who didn’t add my disability into the equation. Of course Facebook Flirt knew about my disability. But he also knew that I longed to go to Vegas for my thirtieth birthday, that my dream was to move to New York City and climb the ladder to publishing success — and, that, for all my supposed self-assurance, I was really just completely awkward and a huge dork. For the first time in my life, I could be anyone I wanted, but I really only wanted to be myself. And whether he knew it or not, Facebook Flirt helped me in that department.

I realized, ironically, that in addition to turning me into a giggly schoolgirl, Facebook had also managed to transform me into a woman too. I could leave my love handles, what I saw as my disability baggage, at the door as soon as I logged on. No, I wasn’t hiding it. No, I wasn’t denying it existed (I knew it was there; I lived with it every day). What I was finally realizing was that for once, it could come second. I could put it in the backseat (maybe seal it in the trunk if I wanted) for awhile and sit in the driver’s seat. At long last. I could be a woman. Not a woman with limitations. Not a woman with a disability and a wheelchair in tow and a long medical rap sheet trailing behind her. Just a woman.

Just me — a woman who wanted love, who wanted to be loved for who she was, who could maybe, if only for a minute, pretend differences didn’t matter, that flaws are hot and imperfections are sexy. Because contrary to what so many people in my life think, my disability does not make me a superhero immune to those sorts of feelings.

I’d like to think I’ll still have this newfound boldness should Facebook Flirt and I ever meet in person. At the very least, it would be interesting to see how that would play out. Maybe he’d play me a song. Me? I’d probably be too dorky to do anything other than poke his shoulder and say “In-person poke.” And I’m sure there’d be some giggling on my part involved.

*Not his real name, for obvious reasons.

[Photos via We Heart It]

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2 Comments Filed Under: Disability, Facebook Flirt, Facebook Fun, Facebook Fun Week, Facebook series, Facebook week, Love Lessons, Uncategorized

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So About What I Said is a daily blog that covers relationships, disabilities, lifestyle and pop culture. I love to laugh and have been known to overshare. I also have an unabashed obsession with pop music, polo shirts, and PEZ dispensers. Read more...

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