And then, like a lightning bolt of common sense, it hit me: IT DOESN’T HAVE TO BE THAT WAY! Where had this revelation been hiding all my life? Under a rock? How had I missed it all these years?

Well, leave it to me to write about that very subject in “8 Ways My Disability Will Be Amazing For My Love Life,” which went live on YourTango last week. Here’s an excerpt of the essay, in which I seriously use the phrase wing woman…

I’ll just cut to the emotionally revealing, music-swelling rom-com monologue right now: I’m a woman with a physical disability. I’ve also never been on a date or had a boyfriend.
That’s not to say I’ve never fallen in love because I have. Many times. I’ve fallen hard and I’ve fallen fast and I’ve also fallen somewhere in between the two. They made my heart want to leap out of my chest and do cartwheels down the street like a scene from one of those old-time-y cartoons.

But as I got older, something clicked. I realized that any sort of acceptance had to start with me. I had to learn to love myself — all of myself — before any man ever could. My entire life, I’d never thought of my disability as anything but a negative thing, especially when it came to dating and relationships.

But maybe it didn’t have to be so black and white. Maybe it could just be one more awesome asset on the road to finding The One.

You can read the full essay here and I’d love to hear your thoughts. Feel free to email me anytime at mellow1422@aol.com and let’s chat! And of course, feel free to share my essay on Facebook, Twitter or even your local refrigerator. If you share on Twitter, be sure to tag me @melissablake so we can connect! I can’t wait to hear from you! Love you all… xoxo