NYC Diaries: Why I only date nerds

I LOVED Melissa’s post yesterday about the 5 types of guys every girl should be crushing on. And since relationships and dating have been on my mind so much lately, I thought this was the perfect topic to write about. While I’ve had my share of crushes on all different types of men, I’ve found that those who would likely fall under the category of “nerd” make the best boyfriends. Sure, they get bad reputations about never seeing sunlight and living in the basement fixated on their Dungeons and Dragons or World of Warcraft. And sure, they can be a bit socially awkward. But underneath the 5 o’clock shadow and duct-taped glasses is often what every girl has been searching the world for: an amazing Prince Charming. Don’t believe me? Fine. I’ll give you 3 reasons why your Knight in shining armor is probably an actual Knight in shining armor in some fictional online world…

They’re smart
Nerds come in all kinds; there are history buffs, gamers, bookworms, etc. There’s no singular mold that defines what exactly the typical nerd looks or acts like, but I can assure you that you’ll probably know a nerd when you see one. But whether they’re “book smart” or just really obsessed with Star Wars, nerds are insanely knowledgeable when it comes to their particular fields of interest. And like Melissa often reminds us, brains can be extremely sexy.

They have the potential to be stylish
Who doesn’t want a guy who can dress well and look snazzy? When you date a nerd, you can rest assured that he won’t be wearing pants that constantly expose his rear end or eight pounds of metal accessories in an attempt to look like a bad-ass. Classic “nerdy” wardrobe choices — like bow ties, sweater vests or a flattering pair of glasses — can be very attractive on the right person.

They (usually) aren’t jerks
When you date a guy who knows he’s hot and is used to getting whatever girl he wants, he probably won’t know how to appreciate you. But a nerd who doesn’t normally see much action will most likely treat you the way you deserve. Nerds are also often less shallow and superficial, too. So I’m not sure if this is any comfort to you, but your nerdy man is typically more interested in your gaming skills than the way you did your hair and makeup. But then again, that’s not an entirely bad thing, right? Happy dating!

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–By Caitlin from Stream of Caitlinness


[Top photo via Someecards, bottom photo via We Heart It]

NYC Diaries: 6 tips for getting over any guy

It’s funny how life can be super cheery and exciting for a little while, and then BAM…it hits you with blinding force that nearly knocks you out.

The breakup.

It’s sudden yet a long time coming, but that doesn’t make the heartbreak hurt any less. It happens. And unfortunately, it happened to me just a few weeks ago when I found myself single and without my boyfriend for the first time in over two years. It was my first real long-term relationship, and it came crashing down around me in tiny broken pieces.

I wish I could say it’s been an easy process getting over my ex, but letting go of the first person I really loved after so much time together is not a particularly fun experience. In any case, I’ve been coping well with the help of supportive friends and 6 little tips I’ve been using to heal myself. So whether you’re just getting over a bad heartbreak or you’re trying to forget about the unavailable hottie you’re crushing on, try out these foolproof tips…

Make a change
When you enter a relationship, you are declaring that some part of you belongs to the other person. Your identities, though separate, are shared to form a unit as a couple. So the last thing you want to do is keep being the same person you were when you were with your ex. A week after I broke up with my boyfriend, I went to the salon and had my hair dyed for the first time in my life. It’s now a lovely shade of deep red and (I think) better matches my personality. It wasn’t a very drastic change, but I did want to mix things up now that I’m becoming a different person apart from my ex.

Treat yourself
What girl doesn’t love to pamper herself every once in a while? Go to the spa, take a shopping trip or get yourself a present just because you’re worth it. I bought myself lilies and a beautiful new bracelet from Tiffany’s, and it makes me feel so fulfilled and independent knowing that I don’t need anyone else to get me flowers and gifts.

Date yourself
I hate when people tell the newly single to “spend some time alone.” The way they phrase it makes it sound lonely and horribly depressing. That’s why I prefer to “go on a date” with myself. Take yourself out to the movies or dinner and sit by the park with a great book. Enjoy your own company without needing someone to “complete” you.

Try something new 
When you’re separating from someone you spent lots of time with and did so many things with, it’s important to find new hobbies and jump into something completely unrelated to your ex on your own. As for me, I started doing more yoga and joined a knitting circle my friend and her mother are hosting. These are things that have nothing to do with my ex-boyfriend and therefore don’t awkwardly bring up old memories or make me cry thinking about him.

Focus on friends
They’ve stood beside you through thick and thin, so you know they’ll have your back when you’re hurting. And chances are, your close friends will have experienced heartaches of their own and can relate to your pain. I’m really lucky that I have amazing friends who are constantly checking up on me and who are available to hang out when I need a tub of ice cream or just a good cry. They’ve felt it. They get it. And they know how to love me best.

Forgive
This is the hardest one for me. Forgiveness is not something that comes easily to most people. And I don’t just mean forgiving the other person for the wrongs they did. The worst is having to forgive yourself. I’m definitely not perfect, and I messed up a LOT in my last relationship. And while he’s no longer in my life to do the forgiving, I’m going to have to figure it out for myself. Am I completely done with this step? Honestly, no. I’m still working on letting things go and telling myself that I really do deserve love and happiness. But I’m getting there. And I know it’ll all be okay when I do.

Keep your hearts safe…

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–By Caitlin from Stream of Caitlinness


[Photos via We Heart It]

NYC Diaries: 5 ways to prepare for spring

Happy Tuesday, everyone! Let’s talk weather. Here in New York, the sky is dreary and overcast and filled with the promise of rain. Don’t get me wrong. I don’t mind a rainy day every once in a while. But after a long winter of bitter cold and snowstorms, I think I speak for most people when I say that we’re itching for spring. And this is NOT the springtime weather we had in mind. I was hoping for bright flowers and blooming trees and no more reason to wear my coat. And with the proverbial April showers well on their way, it doesn’t look like Mother Nature is giving us a break here.

So how do we stave off the blues during this extended winter? How do we manage to keep a positive attitude amidst the monotony and lack of sunshine? Here are five tips on surviving these next few weeks and welcoming spring the right way…

Get a head start on that spring cleaning
My mom used to tell me all the time: Don’t wait until tomorrow to accomplish something you can do today. So what are you waiting for? Instead of wasting a beautiful spring day stuck inside with chores, why not get it done while the weather is refusing to cooperate? Pack away the jackets and heavy sweaters you won’t need for another few seasons and start filling up your closets with the cheery sundresses and blouses you’ll be rocking within the next month.

Pamper yourself
To me, there’s nothing more uplifting than a spa day. Allow yourself to feel pretty, and get your nails or hair done at the local salon. You’re not just getting ready for a date or party; you’re prepping for a whole new season. So enjoy the wait because getting ready is half the fun.

Work off those last few pounds
This one follows the theme of preparation. Don’t just be passive and wait for the warm weather to arrive. Greet spring head-on by shedding the weight you put on over the holidays and get bikini-ready by the first beach-weather day of the year.

Create a springy atmosphere
Every season requires a bit of redecorating. So get rid of the poinsettias and wintry vanilla-scented candles, and replace them with boldly colored flowers and tropical scents. Sunflowers always put me in a great mood, especially on the dullest days. Even if the outdoors is a rainy mess, your home (or office or dorm) can be a springtime paradise.

Hit the mall

This is my favorite tip! I’m BIG on shopping, and what better time to update your spring/summer wardrobe? Stores are already selling shorts and bathing suits, so that will definitely put you in a warmer-weather mood. A lot of places are also having sales on winter clothes, so you can always stock up on those for next year!

So there you are…some ideas to make this dreary transition period more enjoyable. I hope you have a
lovely time, and don’t let the weather get you down too much. Happy spring! And let me know: How are you preparing for the springtime?

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–By Caitlin from Stream of Caitlinness 

[Photos via Pinterest]

NYC Diaries: Rejection isn’t confined to disabilities

During last week’s Women Tell All episode of The Bachelor, there was a scene where limb-different contestant Sarah Herron spills all about the pain she felt after Sean Lowe told her she was not the one for him. ”It’s the worst to be told ‘you’re great, but you’re not good enough for me,’” she says. “I always fall back on, ‘Oh well, it must be because I have one arm.’” It’s a heartbreaking moment as the audience sees Sarah fighting back tears. And it brought me back to the times when no boys wanted to dance with me at parties and my 6th-grade crush told me my shorter arm was ugly. So for the sake of honesty here, I’ll confess this: I cried after watching the show. I know exactly how Sarah felt, and I cried for her and for myself and for any girl living with a physical difference in a superficial world.
 
But here’s the thing that may just shed a little light on this sort of situation: We’ve all been there. Turn on the TV or pick up a book or magazine, and I doubt you’ll have too much trouble finding a scene where a beautiful and seemingly perfect girl with two arms faces rejection from the guy she wants. Rejection is not a phenomenon exclusive to women with disabilities. Dating isn’t easy for anyone. And when it comes down to it, a disability isn’t an automatic deal-breaker for most people. Just because you’re missing a limb or use a wheelchair doesn’t mean that all guys are going to reject you.

I know I’ve been very insecure about my arm throughout my life, but I feel comfortable knowing that my boyfriend loves all of me as I am. He’s there for me, and he’s happy with the way I look, even with messy hair and 1.5 arms. And through his eyes, I’ve learned to see that I’m not alone and that I’m worth loving.

Rejection just plain sucks sometimes. But when you do find someone who really loves you and who you can connect with and be vulnerable with, you’ll realize that all the hurts and heartbreaks kind of just fade away.
 
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–By Caitlin from Stream of Caitlinness

NYC Diaries: Surfin’ (and Street Lugin’ and Mountain Boardin’ and Cliff Divin’) USA

Last week, I met one of the coolest people on the planet who just so happens to have traveled all over the planet. Kevin Michael Connolly is a photographer, author and professional adventurer who was born without legs and is always ready for the next daredevil challenge life throws his way. I’d read his memoir Double Take years ago, and after hearing about his new show Armed & Ready on the Travel Channel, I asked Kevin if I could interview him for my blog. I honestly didn’t think he would agree to it, but I found myself talking to Kevin at the Travel Channel headquarters in New York the next day during my lunch break.

I’ll admit that I was a nervous wreck, mentally reminding myself not to trip or fall or say anything stupid. But Kevin turned out to be super nice and open to answering all my questions. And the more he told me about his travels during the show, from Hawaii to Tennessee and everywhere in between, the more I felt a sense of wanderlust and wished I could take a few weeks off from work to explore the world.

Although I haven’t done much traveling myself, I feel like I’ve definitely lived through a lot of cool experiences and done things most people wouldn’t even dream they’d be able to do. And that’s what I love about New York. What other city in the world allows you to do everything from partying with Paris Hilton to watching musicals on Broadway to interviewing someone as cool as Kevin Michael Connolly? I’m pretty sure NYC is the most awesome place to live and work in the world. And until I get that month-long travel vacation I’ve always wanted to take, I’m happy knowing that every day is a chance for a new adventure here in the Big Apple.

You can read my full interview with Kevin here. Armed & Ready premieres tonight on the Travel Channel at 10/9c. I’ll be live-tweeting throughout the episode, so be sure to FOLLOW me on Twitter for more!

–By Caitlin from Stream of Caitlinness