My Essay on CNN Opinion: “What the Fate of Meghan Markle’s Troll Can Teach Us About Being Human”

essay on cnnRemember my summer of the trolls a few months ago? OK, so it was more than a few months ago, but on some level, it does feel like it was just yesterday! Because, as you might remember, it was quite an intense summer. Getting trolled and bullied on Twitter by a politician is no fun, but I did what I usually do in these types of situations: I wrote about it. And when said politician was banned from Twitter recently, I had the opportunity to write a follow-up piece in the form of my essay on CNN Opinion!!

Being a writer is such a whirlwind sometimes!! I pitched this piece on a Wednesday morning. It was accepted Wednesday afternoon. I wrote it Thursday. And it ran last Friday. It’s my second byline for CNN, and it was a lot of pressure. But it was the cool kind of pressure, you know? The kind that, even though you’re scared and your heart is racing, you know you can do it. In the end, I think the pressure only motivated me, which is something I’m most definitely not used to.

Here’s an excerpt of the piece, which is really getting me excited about writing more timely pieces — it sort of reminds me of my old college newspaper days when I’d met tight deadlines as a campus reporter…

I’m troubled most of all by what happens when we start taking our online selves out into the real world. As much as we’d like to deny it, our internet interactions are changing the fabric of who we are — and, sadly, this change is not for the better. We’re short with the cashier at Target. We have no patience with the traffic on the drive home. And worst of all, we openly and vocally shun those who are different from us.

Frankly, it all scares me because I see the effects this online culture of hate is having on me. Where I was once optimistic, I’m increasingly bitter. Where I used to think the best of people, I now have seriously low expectations. And I hate it.

The price of free speech seems to be going up every day — as people become emboldened behind the safety of their computers or devices. Free speech shouldn’t give us an all-access pass to say whatever we want without any sort of repercussions.

You can read the full piece here and I’d love to hear your thoughts. Feel free to email me anytime at mellow1422@aol.com and let’s chat! And of course, feel free to share my essay on Facebook, Twitter or even your local refrigerator. If you share on Twitter, be sure to tag me @melissablake so we can connect! I can’t wait to hear from you! Love you all… xoxo

Yes, Writing Is A Job! Pass It Along…

Writing Is A JobThis post is for all you writers out there because #solidarity! Do you ever get frustrated with people not taking your career seriously? Because sometimes?? Well, it’s all I can do to keep myself from shouting…YES! Writing IS a job!

I’ve been thinking about this a lot in the last six months based on far too many interactions I’ve had with people close to me. On one occasion, I was talking with an someone and they asked, “Are you still writing?” Granted, I’m sure this person didn’t mean anything bad by the remarks, but still…it stung. Big time.

I sometimes feel like people underestimate me as a writer. Or, that I shouldn’t be writing about the things I write about. You know what? That hurts more than you know. Because when I’m sharing my story, I’m choosing to be vulnerable. I’m offering a piece of myself with my words. Each and every word I write is me. So when people dismiss my life’s work as a hobby or even say that what I write doesn’t belong on my blog? It’s like they’re dismissing me. It’s like they’re saying I’m too much. It’s like they’re saying they don’t like me. They’re not only insulting my writing…they’re insulting me. I am my writing. And the sting of their words feels like the ultimate rejection.

Maybe I’m just being super sensitive, but it feels like people tend to write off (no pun intended!) writing as an actual job. I feel like they’re saying, “Oh, isn’t that a fun little hobby you have,” you know? As if it’s something I do on the side, which, of course, is totally fine if that’s what you want to do. I’m definitely NOT trying to shame people who do write for a hobby. But, writing is my job. It’s something I put my heart and soul into every single day, so for people to be so callous and thoughtless is pretty disappointing.

I suppose that’s really the overall message of this post: PLEASE give writers their props freely and often! We writers work hard, and, sadly, all those words we write don’t just fall out of the sky and into our laps.

And also, remember this little gem: Writers write about their life and they write about the things that happen to them. They’re not going to apologize for it!

Writing Is A JobSo what do you tell yourself when this happens, friends? Do people ever underestimate you, whether it’s unintentional or on purpose? I sure wish I had answers for dealing with this! Maybe I’m just cranky and need a root beer? That could be true too…

[Photos via We Heart It and Giphy]

Let’s Talk Inspiration

InspirationInspiration!

Ooh, that scary word! There’s a whole lot of meaning wrapped in that one word, isn’t there? It’s such a charged word — one that can empower you and terrify you at the same time.

Inspiration.

How do you find it? How do you keep it? And maybe most importantly, how do you get that elusive inspiration back when it’s suddenly gone?

I’m feeling so…disconnected from writing lately. Imposter syndrome, maybe? Whatever it is, I can’t help but feel discouraged. I accomplished so much in 2017, and it’s like I haven’t found that same momentum in 2018 yet. What if I’ve peaked as a writer?

Sometimes, usually out of frustration, I’ll just blurt out, “That’s it. I have nothing original left to say!” (shout-out to whoever picked up on that Frasier reference!). And, honestly, that’s exactly how I feel. I’m not being extra, which, I know, does sound a bit extra in itself. Maybe I’m saying it out of fear? Being all out of ideas is a fate worse than death for us writers, and I’ve really been fearing that blank page (err, computer screen) lately!

Plus, there’s sort of a catch-22 to this whole thing: Taking a step back and recharging is always a good way to get that inspiration back, but everything moves so fast on the Internet. So, actually taking a break would cause me MORE stress in the long run, which would sap any inspiration I had accumulated, you know? It’s a very tricky and complicated situation, as you can see!

I did get back into my usual routine last week of going to the library to work…and then I got sidelined by this wonderful cold/flu hybrid. Ack!!! Thwarted again!!

InspirationHere’s a start, at least: Kermit the Frog always inspires me! How can that cute creature not make you smile and feel like everything is right with the world??

So, friends, how do you find inspiration when you need it most? Where do you find it? Are there certain sources that you keep going back to, like books or family…or pets? I’d love to put our heads together and come up with some great inspiration in the comments!! xoxo

P.S. More inspiration to get those creative juices flowing: Lemon wreath, bookshelves, chalkboard love and jar shelves!

[Top photo via We Heart It; GIF via Giphy]

My Essay on HelloGiggles: “In Defense of Hallmark Movies”

In Defense of Hallmark MoviesI still can’t believe it’s 2018 already!! I said goodbye to 2017 on a high note. In fact, some might even say that I came to the rescue just like a fab superhero — minus the fashionable, flowing cape, of course! Because, in these troubled times, the world needed someone like me. The world needed someone to come forward in defense of Hallmark movies!

And, rest assured, I was more than happy to answer that call and bring some much-needed calm to all the chaos.

I’m excited to share my latest piece on HelloGiggles, in which I got to talk about one of my guilty pleasures: My love of Hallmark Channel movies and how they’ve helped me get out of my head after this rough year!! After all, these movies get a bad rap, which I think is incredibly sad! I’d been wanting to write this piece for awhile, seeing as how I’ve amassed some 50+ holiday movies on my DVR in the last few months! Have you ever tuned into Hallmark during the holidays?? It’s pure pandemonium. A veritable feast of glad tidings and good cheer. Well, I’m all about spreading said good cheer!

Here’s an excerpt of the essay, in which I demonstrate my vast knowledge of Hallmark movies by rattling off the plots of some of my favorite gems…

In a way, for me at least, these movies are the perfect form of self-care. This year, we all deserve a momentary distraction from the events happening around us.

2017 has been marked by one political storm cloud after another, multiple mass shootings, white supremacist violence, and far too many men behaving very, very badly.

Now, there are those who will roll their eyes and deride these films as being nothing more than one giant fluff fest of cheesetastic proportions — but I feel sorry for those bitter souls. Yes, they are fluff, but that’s the whole point.

If people could embrace the spirit of Hallmark movies, they’d see the redeeming value. The beauty of these movies lies in their simplicity and in their ability to transport us to a happier place. They’re silly, sure, but they take us out of our heads and let us tune out all the noise for a bit.

You can read the full essay here and I’d love to hear your thoughts. Feel free to email me anytime at mellow1422@aol.com and let’s chat! And of course, feel free to share my essay on Facebook, Twitter or even your local refrigerator. If you share on Twitter, be sure to tag me @melissablake so we can connect! I can’t wait to hear from you! Love you all… xoxo

Hello, 2018: Thoughts on Goals For the New Year

goals for the new yearHappy New Year, friends!! How’s it going?? It’s great to be back! I had such a refreshing holiday break and will be sharing some photos next week — FYI, a classic trivia game is involved! And a hearty meal at IHOP!! But today?? I’m all about sharing some goals for the new year!!!

I’m especially proud of my writing career in 2017!! So many things finally clicked in the span of just 12 months!! I feel like a lot of that success has to do with developing my beat as a writer — disabilities, relationships and pop culture!!

Here are some of my best writing moments in a year that was pretty high on the Excitement Meter…

• I had 19 pieces published and 341 blog posts published
• I scored my first byline in The New York Times
• I fought off the haters and became the Purveyor of the Matriarchy with my CNN essay
• I broke into a glossy with an essay about my father in the June issue of Good Housekeeping
• I wrote two essays for Glamour
• I worked with wonderful editors on pieces for some of my favorite sites, like Racked, Ravishly and SheKnows
• I celebrated 9 years of blogging and continued to grow So About What I Said on its own self-hosted domain
• I was VERIFIED on Twitter

Whew!! As for 2018, you ask? Well, I’ve never been good with New Year’s resolutions. I tend to set these loft goals, only to quickly become overwhelmed and lose all motivation entirely by the end of January. I mean, don’t even ask me about that year I was determined to go to the Y — I’m still on their email list, but my membership card is long gone!

So what do I have planned for this year? I’ve decided to plan my goals for 2018 around just one subject: Writing. I feel buoyed and inspired by the successes of 2017, so why not build on that fierce momentum? Some things I’m working toward as we get this year underway…

• Get an acceptance from the Washington Post
• Finally find a home for this pitch I’ve been working on — about the 20th anniversary with my email address. Oh, cue all the parallels to actual relationships…
• Sort through an entire email folder of essay ideas I’ve been collecting…sort of scared to venture in there, but we’ll see, right?? There’s probably at least a few good gems in there — aside from the weird, half-asleep ideas I concocted late at night and scribbled furiously into my phone!
• Continue to grow So About What I Said — GUEST POSTS are always welcome!!
• Maybe, finally start seriously thinking about book possibilities. YIKES!! Did I really just type that?? Yes, I just did…

Surprisingly, I feel even more motivated right now! Just having put my goals down on paper on the blog gives me some concrete goals to work through.

What are your goals/dreams/wishes for 2018, friends?? Do you typically set New Year’s Resolutions, or are you more laid-back about the whole thing? I’d love to hear how you’re doing, and I CAN’T WAIT to spend another 365 days with you!! Well, more like 362, but you get the idea… xoxo

[Collage of my favorite bylines from 2017]