Shadows

After my xoJane essay was published, I got to thinking a lot about beauty over the weekend. Pretty. Beautiful. Gorgeous. When it comes down to it, what’s just as important as realizing your own beauty is realizing that you don’t need other people’s validation to make it true. I wrote this one last night about that ah-ha breakthrough of clarity. Can you relate, friends? xoxo
Pretty is such an ugly word
The kind you want to run from
Put my makeup on and show the world a different girl
‘Cause pretty on the inside just never felt like enough
 
I didn’t know who I could be
I didn’t know who I’d become
Just wanted to hide in the shadows so that no one else could see
All the damage I thought I’d already done
All the times I’d tried to run
Covered my face, everything I am, in the shadows
But now I know, now I know, it’s my turn to shine
 
It’s like waking up on the first day of spring
When the sun falls softly on your face
After the dead of winter, I’ve got a new song to sing
I can finally feel the winds of change
 
And it’s that moment when you realize it’s not about other people thinking you’re pretty
It’s about realizing you don’t need it
 
I didn’t know who I could be
I didn’t know who I’d become
Just wanted to hide in the shadows so that no one else could see
All the damage I thought I’d already done
All the times I’d tried to run
Covered my face, everything I am, in the shadows
But now I know, now I know, it’s my turn to shine
 
I didn’t know who I could be
I didn’t know who I’d become
Just wanted to hide in the shadows so that no one else could see
All the damage I thought I’d already done
All the times I’d tried to run
Covered my face, everything I am, in the shadows
But now I know, now I know, it’s my turn to shine
 
Pretty is such an ugly word
The kind you want to run from

[Photo via Le Love]

Once In A Blue Moon

Although this isn’t about anyone specific, I got to thinking about the different people that come into our lives. There doesn’t seem to be any rhyme or reason to it sometimes, but then other times, we look back and say, “That felt sort of, kind of, a little like fate.” Have you ever experienced this, friends? xoxo

Those words you said to me last night
They’re not the kind you can easily take back
And I guess I could pretend I don’t feel the same and put up some kind of fight
But why would I want to when I can feel my heart, my heart it’s falling fast?

‘Cause it’s like catching lightning in a bottle, the way you came along
At just the right moment when I thought all hope was gone
‘Cause right now in this moment, it feels like forever
Feels so right, it must be true
You’re my, you’re my, you’re my once in a blue moon
You and me, you and me forever

We were sitting on my front porch last night
Our fingers inching closer to each other
You took me by surprise
I felt like I’d known you all my life

‘Cause it’s like catching lightning in a bottle, the way you came along
At just the right moment when I thought all hope was gone
‘Cause right now in this moment, it feels like forever
Feels so right, it must be true
You’re my, you’re my, you’re my once in a blue moon
You and me, you and me forever

If tomorrow is anything like today
I hope this blue moon never fades away

‘Cause it’s like catching lightning in a bottle, the way you came along
At just the right moment when I thought all hope was gone
‘Cause right now in this moment, it feels like forever
Feels so right, it must be true
You’re my, you’re my, you’re my once in a blue moon
You and me, you and me forever

‘Cause it’s like catching lightning in a bottle, the way you came along
At just the right moment when I thought all hope was gone
‘Cause right now in this moment, it feels like forever
Feels so right, it must be true
You’re my, you’re my, you’re my once in a blue moon
You and me, you and me forever

[Photo via We Heart It

Made Me Fall In Love With You

I wrote this one last night after I got to thinking about a few guys I’ve known who fell for women who just seemed completely wrong for them. They’d constantly break up and make up, and after awhile, you just got to wondering: What’s the point? How could you possibly like this cycle you’re in? What do you think, friends? xoxo

I can’t believe that after all this time, you and I are still here
In the same place where we started
I want you, you love her
And I’m your soft shoulder when she breaks your heart

It’s dangerous, this game we’re playing
‘Cause one of these days, I’m just going to stop biting my tongue and say it

Do you even see me here?
Every time she’s in the room, it’s like I disappear
You run after her, and I can never catch you
You tell me you’re in love with her
And that life makes sense now that you’re together
I smile, but deep down inside, I just wish you’d never made me fall in love with you

I listen to your stories of how she makes you laugh
And wonder how you can forget about all those times she’s made you cry
She doesn’t see your beauty
And all the things you could be

It’s dangerous, this game we’re playing
I don’t know how much clearer I can make it

Do you even see me here?
Every time she’s in the room, it’s like I disappear
You run after her, and I can never catch you
You tell me you’re in love with her
And that life makes sense now that you’re together
I smile, but deep down inside, I just wish you’d never made me fall in love with you

Saw our old friends yesterday and I heard you’re so happy now
But don’t be surprised if I’m not there to watch it all go down

Do you even see me here?
Every time she’s in the room, it’s like I disappear
You run after her, and I can never catch you
You tell me you’re in love with her
And that life makes sense now that you’re together
I smile, but deep down inside, I just wish you’d never made me fall in love with you

Do you even see me here?
Every time she’s in the room, it’s like I disappear
You run after her, and I can never catch you
You tell me you’re in love with her
And that life makes sense now that you’re together
I smile, but deep down inside, I just wish you’d never made me fall in love with you

It’s dangerous, this game we’re playing
I don’t know how much clearer I can make it

[Photo via Le Love]

Boomerang

We all have certain people in our lives who just know exactly how to push our buttons, don’t we? They know exactly what to say to get under our skin, but eventually, you realize that they’re not worth it. Whether it’s a boyfriend or best friend, you learn not to take their words to heart, and you no longer care what they think. I got to thinking about that last night, and I loved the imagery of your heart being like a boomerang. Have you ever felt this way, friends? xoxo

Stop, I don’t want to talk right now
I think we both know it won’t get us anywhere tonight
We’ll let the words linger silently in the air
As I stonewall my heart against your lies

All the bruises you’ve left on my heart
It’s all over now
I’ve let you string me along for way too long
Gotta find a way to cut the cord somehow
So if you wake up tomorrow and I’m gone, just remember
All those little words you used to say
Well, they’re all coming back to you just like a boomerang

What happened before?
Who made you this way?
It certainly wasn’t me
Who stole your soul, made you feel so low?
Who hallowed out your heart?

All the bruises you’ve left on my heart
It’s all over now
I’ve let you string me along for way too long
Gotta find a way to cut the cord somehow
So if you wake up tomorrow and I’m gone, just remember
All those little words you used to say
Well, they’re all coming back to you just like a boomerang

Don’t be the one to feel sorry for yourself
Now that your world is falling down
While you’re tossing and turning in the middle of the night
I’ll be sleeping safe and sound
Feeling my own heart beat now

All the bruises you’ve left on my heart
It’s all over now
I’ve let you string me along for way too long
Gotta find a way to cut the cord somehow
So if you wake up tomorrow and I’m gone, just remember
All those little words you used to say
Well, they’re all coming back to you just like a boomerang

All the bruises you’ve left on my heart
It’s all over now
I’ve let you string me along for way too long
Gotta find a way to cut the cord somehow
So if you wake up tomorrow and I’m gone, just remember
All those little words you used to say
Well, they’re all coming back to you just like a boomerang

[Photo via Le Love]

Over

I’ve been thinking about endings for the past couple of months. Maybe it’s because my job as a newspaper adviser came to an end? Whatever the reason, I’ve come realized something: Maybe what’s more heartbreaking is not the actual moment something ends — whether it’s a relationship or a job — but the moment it clicks in your mind, that moment you go, “Wow, this is really over.” Does that make sense, friends? xoxo

I thought this would be so easy
I’ve said hello to a thousand goodbyes
All packed up, put the memories away
All that’s left to do is leave
But standing here, my feet have never felt so heavy

I didn’t want to go, but my heart knew it was over
Some things just aren’t meant to last
You can pray for a sunny day, but the skies will pour down on you sometimes
‘Cause when I was standing at that fork in the road, I looked back over my shoulder and realized…it’s over

I can still hear his voice in the back of my mind
He told me stories of forever, just the two of us
He told me I was beautiful
And for a minute, I almost believed him
I stood frozen in that one moment in time

I didn’t want to go, but my heart knew it was over
Some things just aren’t meant to last
You can pray for a sunny day, but the skies will pour down on you sometimes
‘Cause when I was standing at that fork in the road, I looked back over my shoulder and realized…it’s over

Just one more smile, one more “how are you?”
One more laugh, if only I could go back
Just one more time

I didn’t want to go, but my heart knew it was over
Some things just aren’t meant to last
You can pray for a sunny day, but the skies will pour down on you sometimes
‘Cause when I was standing at that fork in the road, I looked back over my shoulder and realized…it’s over

I didn’t want to go, but my heart knew it was over
Some things just aren’t meant to last
You can pray for a sunny day, but the skies will pour down on you sometimes
‘Cause when I was standing at that fork in the road, I looked back over my shoulder and realized…it’s over

He told me I was beautiful
And for a minute, I almost believed him

[Photo via Le Love]