Have you heard the news? There’s a new Ken in town. Well, 15 new Ken dolls, to be exact. And they’re out and about TODAY! Mattel just released a new line of Barbie’s boyfriend — a more diverse, hip Ken for the 2017 set, complete with three body types (slim, broad and original), seven skin tones and nine hairstyles (say hello to the “man bun”). Oh, and their fashion styles range from business corporate to athletic-chic.

“By continuing to expand our product line, we are redefining what a Barbie or Ken doll looks like to this generation,” said Lisa McKnight, Senior Vice President and General Manager, Barbie. “Evolving Ken was a natural evolution for the brand and allows girls to further personalize the role they want him to play in Barbie’s world.”

Whew! That’s a lot to take in, isn’t it? So much change at once and my head is starting to spin!! I think I’ve mentioned this before, but I’ve got a long history with the Barbie franchise. It goes all the way back to the days when my sister and I would line up all our Barbie dolls and stage elaborate fashion shows. On some level, I like to think we were even more chic than Anna Wintour sitting front row at New York Fashion Week — we were that #OnFleek… I mean, just take a look at that picture below. We were talented youngsters.

But there have always been some questions that have plagued me over the years. Honestly, I was always a bit skeptical of Ken — he was mysterious in that too-perfect way that gives off the vibe that he’s most definitely hiding something big. What exactly is his deal? Here are 5 questions I’ve always wanted to ask the plastic perfection…

What is his story?

I mean, think about it: We know virtually nothing about this guy’s backstory. What’s his history? Does he have a family? Where does he come from? For all we know, he could have mob ties. Or maybe he has ties to Russia and influenced the 2016 presidential election. Hahaha! Wouldn’t that be an interesting twist in the on-going political saga?

Does he even have a job?

Truth be told, he seems to be forever in that weird life stage where he’s still trying to find himself. He’s been everything from a surfer dude to a doctor. And this new line seems to find Ken trying on the role of a hipster millennial from Brooklyn, so what is he? Sometimes I just wish he’d pick one because the constant searching is not a pretty look; frankly, it’s just getting old.

And speaking of old…

How old is Ken?

This guy looks pretty young, if you ask me. He sort of reminds me of the dude bros you’d meet at a college fraternity bash (not that I’ve ever been to one of those parties, mind you…), so that would make him, what, in his early twenties? Nope! Guess again! Ken celebrates his — wait for it — 56th birthday this year, so obviously this guy is no spring chicken. I’m not sure whether I should hate him for that or ask him for all the secrets.

What’s up with his emotions?

This guy seems to be stuck on one emotion and, truthfully, it’s kind of a creepy one. It looks like a forced smile staring you down. Heck, add giant wig and a bright red nose and he could probably pass for a clown. That disturbs me a little.

Was Ken really Barbie’s boyfriend?

I’ve often wondered where those two stood because, frankly, their relationship could be a bit ambiguous at times. They needed to DTR as the young people say — that’s define the relationship for those not hip to the lingo. I’m definitely getting some Benson/Stabler vibes from them — you know, they’re not technically together, but there’s obviously some chemistry there. The more I think about it, maybe Ken’s emotionless expression is because he’s just as confused about things as the rest of us are.

So what will the Kens of the future look like? I’m not entirely sure, but it will be fun to watch and see, don’t you think, friends? Were you a big Barbie fan when you were young? Do you still have your collection? Any questions you’d like to ask this new Ken? xoxo

P.S. Remember Hipster Barbie??