My Essay on Upworthy: “Disability Pride Month…You Should Know…”

Disability Pride MonthGuess what? A couple weeks ago, I got to write my first piece for Upworthy all about July’s Disability Pride Month!!! And I couldn’t be more proud of how the piece turned out, friends…

July was a HUGE month for disability rights as we celebrated both the 30th anniversary of the Americans With Disabilities Act and Disability Pride Month.

Predictably, neither was mentioned by Trump or the White House. At all. If this doesn’t tell you exactly how this administration feels about disabled people, then I don’t know what will. But, really, did we expect them to? Of course not!! I suppose that’s a topic for a separate blog post, though!

Here’s an excerpt of the piece, in which it was so powerful to put all my feelings about disability pride into words:

“Finally, we’re seeing this trend of disabled people reclaiming what it means to have a disability. We don’t typically see the words pride and disability together, but for disabled people like me, the two words go hand in hand. “Disability pride” is a declaration as much as it is a celebration, where the disability community is shouting, “Yes, disabled people want to be seen and heard. And guess what? We’re not going anywhere!”

My hope is that one day, we won’t need any entire month to remind people that it’s okay to celebrate disabilities and that society will celebrate us because they see our inherent worth and dignity just like we do. Until that day, though, here’s a reminder one more time: Please, see my wheelchair. See my disability. See all of me.”

I also think it’s important to talk about the journey of “disability pride” itself. People sometimes think that becoming comfortable in your disabled body is automatic. Trust me, it’s NOT. Loving yourself in a society that says you shouldn’t is a lifelong process. It’s a journey I’ll always be on, but one I’m proud to be on!

You can read the full piece here and I’d love to hear your thoughts. Feel free to email me anytime at mellow1422@aol.com and let’s chat! And of course, feel free to share my essay on Facebook, Twitter or even your local refrigerator. If you share on Twitter, be sure to tag me @melissablake so I see your tweet and we can connect! I can’t wait to hear from you! Love you all… xoxo

How Have You Been Feeling Lately?

FeelingHow have y’all been feeling lately?

I found this photo from my birthday a couple years ago and realized that I’ve since lost that cool, cheery cup!! It’s sort of symbolic, isn’t it? We haven’t had many “best days ever” during the pandemic. And, honestly, it sometimes feels like those carefree, innocent days are gone forever, doesn’t it??

Yes, these are certainly strange times, indeed. I don’t know about you, but I’ve been having ALL the feelings lately. I’ve been sad. I’ve been angry. I’ve been anxious. I’ve been confused. I’ve been scared.

See, so many emotions!! It can even be hard to sort through them all at times.

In 2016, I wrote these words in a blog post: “On the outside, it may look like I’m one of those cool, nonchalant girls who is just soooo relaxed and has it all together. But on the inside? I’m one gigantic mess of feels.”

I don’t have this whole life thing figured out. I don’t think any of us know exactly what we’re doing. This big thing called life is just one giant, utterly complete mystery.

I’ve shared a lot about my depression and these last few months of the pandemic feels like a sort of hazy dream. My depression was one of the scariest times in my life and I kept a diary during that time. A few months ago, I read through it for the first time. I haven’t opened that diary in 9 years (maybe out of fear?), but I wanted to share a passage because it captures depression/what we’re all feeling during quarantine/all these emotions so perfectly…

You can be a strong person and you can be a happy person — I was both those things before I became depressed. But depression is a physical illness and it’s not something you can just power through with strength and a smile. It doesn’t mean you’re weak or lazy. It means you’re sick…and it’s not your fault. Let’s change the conversation around mental illness, OK?
The world is so scary right now, so I’m going to keep clinging to the things that bring me joy. No matter how small. Life is hard and confusing right now, but I hope y’all are having a good day today!! We’ll get through this together… xoxo

Birthday Time: Almost 39 and Feeling Fine

birthday timeI’ve often said that time is irrelevant in quarantine. Days pass, then weeks pass and before you know it, months and months have gone by!! You finally look at the calendar and…it’s your birthday time!!

Yes, I know that I say this every single year, but this year, especially, I can’t BELIEVE it’s my birthday again. Wasn’t it just yesterday when I turned the big 38…? Well, we all know what number comes after 38, don’t we??

YIKES…

And double YIKES…

It’s sort of weird to think that I’ll be celebrating the last birthday of my 30s (on Tuesday, to be exact…) while in quarantine. I mean, this reality that we’re living in 2020 was never on my life Bingo card and I’m pretty sure it wasn’t on yours either. In fact, I doubt it was on anyone’s card. We never thought we’d be here, but we are. At times, the future can seem like such a scary, daunting prospect — full of unknowns and question marks and so many uncertainties. Where will we be in six months? In one year?

I don’t know about you, but I’ve been feeling pretty overwhelmed recently — well, at least for the last five months. So maybe that’s why I’ve been looking at lots of old family photos lately. Not just to remember my childhood, but to remember a time when the world wasn’t imploding on itself every day, you know?

birthday timeSo what a coincidence that I should find this photo just in time for, well, my birthday time!!! I couldn’t have been more than three years old and it was the height of The Smurfs craze in the ‘80s. I was, umm, just a wee bit obsessed with them too, as evidenced by my birthday present that year: a Smurfs stuffed animal. Naturally, I was partial to Smurfette since she was THE MOST badass one, obviously!!

And speaking of birthday time, I’d like to bring something else VERY important to your attention. I was quite shocked about this, if you must know! I recently Googled myself (no, that is not a euphemism) and this was one of the related searches. Y’all, I feel called out!! How old does the internets think I am…??

Wait, don’t answer that because you all know now, obviously! My big secret is out…call the tabloids with the scoop!! Yours Truly is swiftly becoming an old lady. No shame, though. We all need to change the way we view aging, don’t you think?

birthday timeOoooh, that little old bugaboo called getting older. Well, that is surely a topic for another time and another blog post!! In the meantime, I hope you all have a lovely rest of your weekend and a lovely week ahead. I’ll be relaxing during my classic Birthday Week and will be back to regular posting on Wednesday, August 12th, so expect some tales — and new bylines to share!! Love you all lots and lots… xoxo

P.S. Check out my Birthday Time of yore: 2009, 2010, 2011, 2012, 2013, 2014, 2015, 2016, 2017, 2018 and 2019.

13 Game-Changing Disability Activists to Follow on Social Media

Disability ActivistsI’ve really been enjoying talking about disabilities and disability representation this week, friends!! So today, I’d love to shout-out a few of my favorite disability activists on social media…

We’re so used to seeing downright vile behavior online and it’s what we’ve come to expect in 2020. I’ll admit that it can get so depressing sometimes, so we start to question humanity. I can’t tell you how many times a day I find myself asking “what is wrong with people??”

But this isn’t a depressing post. Because the more good I see, the more I want to shout it from the rooftops!! And the disability community on social media?? Ohhhhh, yes, they are a FORCE. And nowhere are they more of a force than on Instagram!! Y’all, they are truly taking over the social media platform in the best, most glorious way possible. They’re starting much-needed conversations around disability and sexuality, ableism, how you can be a disability ally and what it’s like living day-to-day as a disabled person.

In short, they’re getting real and honest…and you can bet I’m here for it!! So often, disabilities are left out of the conversation when we’re talking about marginalized groups and it’s super disappointing. See us. Include us. Talk about us. These disability movers and shakers are doing just that and SO MUCH MORE.

Honestly, one of the things I love most about social media is following so many disability activists!! I love how they’re literally painting a picture of disability in 2020 — the beauty, the pain and, YES, the pride!! It’s all there and I could spend hours just scrolling through my feed — umm, OK, maybe I already do that!! #SorryNotSorry

I’ve wanted to shout-out my favorites for awhile, so here you go!! Drop your faves in the comments too!!

Disability ActivistsLeft to right: Alex Dacy (aka Wheelchair Rapunzel), Denarii Grace, Jason Clymo

Disability ActivistsClockwise from top left: Carly Findlay, Emily Ladau, Wendy Lu, Cherie, Carson Tueller, Shane Burcaw, Hannah Aylward

Disability ActivistsLeft to right: Karin Hitselberger, Ariel Henley, Alaina Lavoie

The future is accessible, so get in because we’ve got places to go and barriers to break down!! Are you in?? xoxo

P.S. Here are more influential black women with disabilities to follow…

The ADA Anniversary Didn’t Trend on Social Media. Here’s Why That’s a Problem.

ADA anniversaryYesterday, I shared my newest piece for Yahoo Life all about this month’s ADA anniversary. This year was a huge milestone — THIRTY YEARS — so I was excited to see all the coverage and disabled stories about where we’ve been, where we are and where we’re going in the next 30 years.

Well, Sunday’s official anniversary came and went. While, yes, there was coverage, one thing stuck out to me: The anniversary didn’t even trend on social media. And for some reason, I’ve been thinking about that a lot these past few days. Not because I’m sad or mad or annoyed, which I am (all three, actually), but because the lack of major recognition is just, well, the status quo when it comes to disabilities.

It’s something that disabled people like myself know all too well. It’s super disappointing that the ADA wasn’t even a blip in the news cycle ON THE ACTUAL ANNIVERSARY. At all. The anniversary of the biggest disability rights legislation and nope…nothing. What kind of inexcusable shenanigans are these??

I mean, this is what disabled people experience every day. This is our life, so I’m not surprised, but I would expect more from 2020.

On a deeper level, this lack of visibility is telling. It’s incredibly symbolic of how disabled people are still treated in 2020. We’re ignored. We’re left out. We’re forgotten about. We’re mocked. We’re undermined. We’re an after-thought.

So…why do I post photos of myself? To normalize disability. Maybe if more people saw disabled people, they would see us as actual human beings. Maybe they wouldn’t mock us with horrible names. Just a thought.

ADA anniversaryI don’t know who needs to hear this, but…

Disabled bodies are worthy

Disabled bodies are beautiful

Disabled bodies are hot

Disabled bodies are spectacular

Also, we need to start saying that word.

Disabled.

It’s not “differently abled”

It’s not “special needs”

It’s DISABLED.

Why are people so afraid to use that word?? I’ve seen people perform feats of word gymnastics trying to come up with a euphemism when really…

DISABLED IS NOT A BAD WORD

People are shocked when I say I’m PROUD to be disabled because we still live in a society where pride + disability don’t belong in the same sentence.

But I’m here to tell you they do belong together!! That’s why I’m so open about my life with a disability and want the world to see disabilities in a new way. My disability pride has taught me to be more vocal. To speak up. And, yes, to show my face — hi, selfies! Disabled people are here and we’re proud.

I recently asked my mom to take some new photos of me in my wheelchair for Disability Pride Month. Y’all know I haven’t always been comfortable in my body and that’s because I’m not used to seeing people like me, but that’s changing…and I couldn’t be more excited!! Disabled body representation is the future and I’m here for it.