🎂My 37th Birthday: On Changes, Challenges and Celebrations🎉

BirthdayOh, hi there, my 37th birthday!! So nice of you to drop in again!

It’s honestly hard to believe that I’ve taken another trip around the sun already.

12 months. 52 weeks. 365 days. 8,760 hours. 525,600 minutes. And 4 seasons.

And, wow, what an eventful trip it’s been!! My 36th year was one of ups and downs, of personal and professional wins and losses, of heartbreak and healing. I’ve certainly felt like I was on a roller coaster of emotions at times and I’m most certainly NOT naive when it comes to said emotional roller coaster, either. Trust me, I know it’s going to continue throughout all the years of my life. If you look at life like that — that every year you go around on that roller coaster is another year that you’re LIVING — well, then, I suppose that I should be pretty grateful for those ups and downs, huh?

Part of me isn’t too sure how to feel about my birthday this year, actually. I mean, 37 just feels like it’s going to be an odd age. I’ve reached that dreaded point in my 30s where I can no longer say “I’m in my mid-30s.” I’m officially in my late 30s! Yikes! Although, perhaps I can get away with saying “Oh, little old me? I’m in my late mid-30s“? That has a very nice ring to it, if you ask me!

I took the above selfie last week, while I was sitting outside and enjoying the classic Portillo’s jazz music and waiting for friends to arrive. How appropriate that Toy Story’s “You’ve Got a Friend in Me” came on! It reminded me that I have such wonderful people around me. As trying as some moments have been this year, I still feel surrounded by love, light and happiness. No dark clouds (or haters…) can dim that light.

Thank you, friends, for being such a powerful force in my life!! I hope you know how much I appreciate your love and support. As I’ve said before, we make a pretty amazingly awesome team, don’t you think?!?!?

BirthdayI’m taking my classic Birthday Break next week and I can’t wait to rendezvous back here on Monday, August 13th! Coming up that week: Birthday photos, a new guest post from Ms. Bear on what she learned this summer and…MY NEW DIGS!!!! Curious about that last one?? You’ll see!!! I’m always on Twitter and Facebook so come by and say hello!!! Now if you’ll excuse me, I’ve got a hearty dinner of my mom’s meatloaf and a delicious dessert of my sister’s delicious Rice Krispies treats calling my name!!! xoxo

P.S. My last NINE birthdays: 28th, 29th, 30th, 31st, 32nd, 33rd, 34th, 35th and 36th!!!

[Bottom photo via We Heart It]

My Essay on The Week: “The Priceless Nostalgia of Childhood Family Road Trips”

Family Road TripsI’ve written a lot about family over the years, but my newest essay is definitely one of my favorites! It’s my first for The Week and it’s all about the family road trips that marked my childhood in such a powerful and profound way! I originally wrote it back in March and I’d been trying to place it for the last couple months. Summer was coming to an end! I was worried I’d have to save it for next year and then…BAM!!

Summer is a season that evokes such incredible sense memories, you know? When I was writing this, even all the way back in the cold days of March, I could just feel summer with every word I typed. That summer vibe, complete with its warm sun and fresh-cut grass smell, just filled my soul with childhood nostalgia. It actually made me yearn for a bygone era and those classic days of yore.

In fact, after I wrote the intro paragraph, I remember thinking, “Wow, I’ve certainly seen America, haven’t I…” I say this to my mom a lot, but I am so grateful to my parents for the childhood they gave me — a childhood full of life and adventures. That’s a gift that I will carry with me forever! Those family road trips were so magical!

Here’s an excerpt of the piece, in which I namedrop my love for a certain late ’90s teen pop queen whose music I still bop to all the time — music that, to this day, still reminds me of those family road trips…

It was quintessential America — a snapshot of the United States. Wrapped up in these vacations was the perfect history lesson. My parents saw it as a way to bring history to life for my sister and me. But these trips are also our family’s history. It’s the story of our journey and our past and the story of our family.

It’s those summer memories that bring me comfort as I continue to mourn the loss of my father, 15 years after his death. It’s those memories I’m keeping alive. Those days of sitting in the backseat, pillow over my lap, just watching the world go by through the car window. In the sticky Southern heat of summer, the kind of heat that sticks to your back and sends beads of sweat rolling across your forehead, we were making our own history and planting the historical markers of our lives.

You can read the full piece here and I’d love to hear your thoughts. Feel free to email me anytime at mellow1422@aol.com and let’s chat! And of course, feel free to share my essay on Facebook, Twitter or even your local refrigerator. If you share on Twitter, be sure to tag me @melissablake so we can connect! I can’t wait to hear from you! Love you all… xoxo

Etsy Love: Tassel Necklaces With All the Flair

Tassel NecklacesWhat’s the verdict on tassel necklaces?? Are they a cool fashion statement or a tangled mess that just gets in the way?

I’m still torn on the whole trend, actually. I just can’t seem to figure out tassel necklaces. I mean, they’re colorful and whimsical and some can even be dainty, but I’m thinking they’d be really long on me if I tried to wear one — we all remember how short I am, right? The necklace would probably be down to my knees!

And yet, Etsy has come through again with some super pretty options, like this neon coral number ($23). Or, check out these four that might be starting to change my mind…

Tassel NecklacesColorful fringe, $24

Tassel NecklacesBlue and gold, $29.75

Tassel NecklacesTibetan globe pendant, $27.10

Tassel NecklacesTeal boho, $42.95

So…can someone please explain the allure of tassel necklaces to me because I’m one stumped lady! Do you wear them, friends?? xoxo

Thoughts on Person-First Language and Disabilities

Person-First LanguageI admit that I never used to give much thought to person-first language when it came to my disability. Honestly, I didn’t really care if people referred to me as “person with a disability” or “disabled person” because to some degree, I didn’t see a clear distinction between the two. They both seemed to convey the same thing to me.

Is that bad??

I wonder about that sometimes, like, am I being a “bad” disability advocate if I don’t have a preference? Am I somehow not standing up for the disability community? Over the years, I’ve learned that the disability language people use is a very personal choice. Some prefer person-first language while others use disability-first. At one point, I was very pro person-first language. I definitely preferred saying “I am a person with a disability.”

I never wanted to be defined by my disability and I felt like saying I was a “disabled person” sort of dehumanized me. It was like saying that my disability came before my personhood. It was like saying that my disability was the most important thing about me.

As I’ve gotten older, though, I’m growing more and more comfortable with either option. I’m sure some of this shift has to do with the fact that I’m more comfortable and confident when it comes to my disability. I know that my disability is just one aspect of who I am.

Especially in my career as a writer, I’ve dealt with this question a lot since I explore my disability so much in my essays. For me, my disability is definitely a part of me, and there’s no getting around that. But the word “part” is very important — my disability is just one part of who I am. Just like I have red hair and am right-handed. Those are parts of me, just like my disability is. Saying this doesn’t mean I’m ashamed of my disability or that I hate it; I’ve actually come to embrace my disability and am proud of the person it’s helped me become. But in the end, it doesn’t define me or overrides the other “parts” of myself.

Person-First LanguageThe bottom line? How people with disabilities (or disabled people…) refer to themselves is completely their choice and what makes them feel the most comfortable. Autonomy is so important when it comes to all aspects of disability life, and even something as seemingly insignificant like a moniker is actually a pretty significant thing. It’s not small by any means. Definitely take your cue from the person you’re talking about or talking to. People who have disabilities are the best advocates and the ones who are the experts.

Remember, an honest and open conversation when it comes to disabilities is never wasted! xoxo

[Photos via We Heart It]