Ms. Bear’s Birthday Reflections: What? I’m 64…?!?

birthday reflectionsWhen I was just 11, the Beatles iconic song “When I’m Sixty-Four” came out. I remember the peppy beat and fun lyrics, all about old people, or so I thought! Sixty-four seemed ancient to me and I could never imagine being that age myself. Fast forward to yesterday, January 12, 2020. And….here I am, 64 years old! Wow! Here are some birthday reflections…

Now, of course, 64 seems young to me — not old at all. The real surprising thing is that Paul McCartney was only 16 when he wrote this song. He had pretty good insight about aging at such a tender age. There’s some good news and some bad news in this song for me.

For the good news, I can really relate to the first two lines of this song…

When I get older losing my hair

Many years from now

I still have all my hair! I don’t think I’ve lost nary a hair off my head. In fact, when I get my hair cut, the beautician always tells me that even though I have thin hair, I do have a lot of it.

Another positive is that as I have gotten older, I have a new appreciation for the little things, just like this verse…

Doing the garden, digging the weeds

Who could ask for more?

Of course, I’m not a gardener by any means, but I sure can relate to appreciating the little things in life. Everyone should focus on that as they go about their day. The little things can add up to the best memories. I may not grow a bumper crop of cherry tomatoes every summer, but the feeling I have when I pick them and eat them when they are warm from the sun is one of the highlights of summertime.

If I’d been out till quarter to three

Would you lock the door?

One more piece of good news…I NEVER stay out until a quarter to 3, so nothing to worry about there! And, I know if I did come home then that I am lucky I have my girls who would let me in, but not without a bit of a lecture…I can’t go out anywhere without them telling me not to drink when I am driving (which I wouldn’t do anyway! LOL).

birthday reflectionsBut, there are parts of this song that make me wistful, things that I never imagined would apply to me. No one gets married and thinks they will lose their partner when they are in their 40s. I had two young girls depending on me, and I was terrified of how we would go on.

And there’s this part…

You’ll be older too

And if you say the word

I could stay with you

This part gets me every time because Brian did not stay with us. I know he would have if he could have. We always talked about growing old together. But, I also know that he knew that I could handle this, and I did!

And, this part brought a little tear to my eye…

Every summer we can rent a cottage

In the Isle of Wight, if it’s not too dear

We shall scrimp and save

You see, we had planned on retiring to Gulf Shores, Alabama, where Brian would run a little fix-it shop and I would spend all my retirement on the beach and doing his paperwork for him.

Anyway, this song really resonated with me this year, being 64 and all. It’s been running through my head all day. It also made me happy in viewing my life now and I’m proud of myself, because, who will still need me, who will still feed me, when I’m 64? My girls, my family, my friends and my cats will all need me and I will still feed myself, at 64 and beyond!

Thanks so much for these birthday reflections, Ms. Bear!!!

Forget Those “Best of 2019” Lists: Why 1999 Was Really the Best Year In Pop Culture

1999 1999I can still remember the first time I heard the unmistakably, now-iconic opening hook of Christina Aguilera’s Genie In A Bottle: It was a hot summer day in 1999 and I was swimming lazily at the local pool. I heard the song blasting from the radio next to the lifeguard chair and, honestly, the song was like nothing I’d ever heard before — the double punch of sass and confidence practically broke through those radio speakers and found its way right to my heart. Maybe I’d just swallowed too much chlorine, but it was all intoxicating.

It was right then and there, friends, that I knew I’d never be the same again.

Prince once sang about partying like it was 1999. Even way back in the ‘80s, he was onto something. And around this time every year, as all those “Best of…” lists start making the rounds, I’m reminded once again of one true fact…

1999 was truly the best year in pop culture!

Yes, it’s time to put away those lists that extol the best memes of 2019 and the best YouTube video of 2019 and the best binge-worthy TV show of 2019. Yeah, this year did have its moments, like those sultry and steamy duets from the likes of Lady Gaga and Bradley Cooper AND Shawn Mendes and Camila Cabello, but quite honestly? The last 20 years have mostly fell flat on the Wow-O-Meter. I mean, when you’re up against the dawning of a new Millennium, it’s really not a competition!

1999As a self-described Older Millennial, I know exactly what I’m talking about!! I was born in 1981, so my coming-of-age coincided with the ‘90s coming to a close. Spaghetti straps and body glitter were all the rage and everyone worried about a little thing known as Y2K, but there was a certain energy to 1999 — and that was even before people became obsessed with healing crystals and Mercury Retrograde!!

And perhaps nowhere is that exuberance and energy more apparent than in the pop culture from that year — everything from music to movies to our favorite TV shows!

Britney! *Nsync! The Backstreet Boys! Dawson’s Creek! Buffy! The Matrix (the original)!

Yes, 1999 had it all.

Remember the days of racing home to watch TRL and see if your favorite video nabbed the #1 spot? How about those nights of watching The Real World when the show was actually groundbreaking and really delved into the issues of the day? Or what about holing up in your room with the newest issue of YM magazine, making sure to take every last quiz even if the topic didn’t apply to you?

Yeah, I know. Because I did all those things too (hi, “Which Dress Should I Wear to Prom?” quiz!) and looking back now, I don’t think I realized just how much those times would mean to me in, say, 20 years. Sure, life seemed so simple and (sometimes!) boring back then, but 1999 was such a trendsetting and revolutionary year, especially when it came to young women like Britney and Christina! They were powerhouses and I love how they both spoke out when people tried to pit them against each other. It was the epitome of Girl Power; I was there for it then and I’m still here for it now!

1999 Of course, there’s no denying the effects nostalgia plays in all of this, you know? We all tend to look back on our childhood with this sense of wistfulness — don’t we all yearn and long for a return to a simpler time and place? I know I do. But still, I’m all for romanticizing the past in this case because, like I said, 1999 was downright epic!! It was full of awesome and no one will EVER be able to convince me otherwise!

What do you think? Do you have fond memories of 1999? What’s your all-time favorite year? As we say goodbye to this year, let’s reminisce about years of yore, shall we…?? xoxo

Yes, I’m 38 and a Shawn Mendes Fangirl

Shawn MendesOh, hi. I have something very important and personal to share today. It’s a deep secret that I haven’t really shared with the rest of the world. I am a Shawn Mendes fangirl.

Whew! Did I really just say (err, type) that??

All the way back in February, I shared my confession on Twitter, as everyone does these days: “I’d just like to publicly thank Shawn Mendes for officially giving me my first Mrs. Robinson moment…”

Ahh, finally, my deepest secret was out there. Interestingly, I felt a weight lift from my shoulder the second I hit ‘post.’ After all, I’ve tried to deny my feelings, but as REO Speedwagon once said, “I can’t fight this feeling anymore.” And I can’t. There’s really no point because this crooner has my heart. Yes, I know he has no idea who I am (and my mom will probably think this post is creepy and weird), but coming clean about my feelings means that I no longer had to hide in the shadows of fandom. It meant that I could fully be myself: An older Millennial who loves Shawn Mendes.

Shawn MendesI followed that tweefession (confessional tweet) with my thoughts on his music to his relationship with Camila Cabello until less than a month later, when I made things social media official…

“In related news, I’m officially in love with Shawn Mendes!!!!” I joyfully proclaimed. I think the three red heart emojis really drove my point home.

And, yes, it was joyful, indeed. I’m sure there are lots of others out there who are just like me, so I’m here to tell you: There is no shame in this so-called guilty pleasure. There’s no shame in listening to “If I Can’t Have You” and then daydreaming about Shawn spending his nights reading texts from you.

And, in a related announcement: After years of dreaming about being serenaded Lloyd Dobler-style to “In Your Eyes,” the dream has changed. I now want to be serenaded to this Shawn Mendes lyric: “I want all of you, all the strings attached.”

One warning, though: I have A LOT of strings…

Shawn MendesSo, go forth, friends, and don’t feel bad about all your guilty pleasures!! There’s an incredible sense of power and freedom in simply leaning into something that you totally love and that makes you ridiculously happy. Because let’s face it, the world is not the happiest place right now! We can use all the adorable, addictive, toe-tapping music we can get, right?

Are you a Shawn Mendes fan? Do you have a favorite song of his? Don’t even get me started on he and Camila’s steamy performance at this year’s VMAs. I. Can’t. Even. Sigh… xoxo

Sharpay Evans Deserved Better In High School Musical

Sharpay Evans Sharpay EvansVery Important Question: Did you hear about the online fervor last week over High School Musical troublemaker Sharpay Evans? Was she really the villain people made her out to be?

I’m here to tell you (along with a large portion of the internet) this hot take: Sharpay Evans deserved better. So much better.

Allow me to plead my oh-so-fabulous case!

We were introduced to the East High Wildcats in 2006 and our lives were never the same. The trilogy followed Troy, Gabriella, Sharpay and the rest of their precocious classmates living that teenage life — everything from putting on their school’s spring musicale to spending the summer working in a posh country club to, fittingly, walking across the stage on graduation day.

And while we all had our favorites (I see you Troy and Gabriella shippers out there!), you will never convince me that Sharpay Evans was ever anything other than truly BADASS. Over a decade later and she’s still the perfect tableau for our times. She’s confident. She knows what she wants. And she goes after it. If she were a man, we’d call it ambition, so why do we label Sharpay the villain? Even Ashley Tisdale, the actress who brought Sharpay to life, weighed in on her character’s redemption.

Sharpay EvansPlus…why do we have to compare her to Gabriella in the first place? The movies seem to set up this narrative that Gabriella is the perfect princess while Sharpay is the evil stepsister intent on ruining the lives of her classmates. No, full stop. Stop. Pitting. Women. Against. Each. Other. Sharpay worked incredibly hard, knew her worth and knew that she deserved to star in the musical. She tirelessly danced and sang and rehearsed; she perfected her craft and remained ever determined, yet Troy and Gabriella just waltzed in and scooped up the leads!

So I ask you: Where is the justice for Sharpay?? She was serious about her craft. She was dedicated. That’s something that should be celebrated, not painted with this brushstroke that she’s evil and manipulative.

Maybe the character of Sharpay really mirrors our times, where women aren’t supposed to be proud of ourselves (that’s seen as vain and narcissistic) or overly ambitious (that’s seen as domineering and cutthroat). Looks like this Disney musical is deeper than it looks…just like Sharpay Evans herself! After all, Evans just wanted to bop to the top! What’s wrong with a little ambition in life? She just needed a little fabulous. Is that so wrong?

Sharpay EvansWere you a fan of Sharpay when High School Musical came out? What’s your favorite song from the film, friends? Am I the only one who gets those toe-tapping gems stunk in my head for days? I mean, I’m not exactly complaining here… xoxo

P.S. Which side of Sharpay are you?

Taylor Swift Re-Recording Her Albums Sends a Powerful Message

Taylor SwiftTaylor Swift taking back her power by re-recording her albums is my 2019 mood.

That was my first thought when I heard the news that Taylor Swift is planning to re-record her first five albums. The decision comes after the singer’s music catalog was bought by Scooter Braun in a $300 million deal between his Ithaca Holdings and Big Machine Label Group. Following the sale of her music, Swift took to her Tumblr and shared these powerful words…

“I learned about Scooter Braun’s purchase of my masters as it was announced to the world. All I could think about was the incessant, manipulative bullying I’ve received at his hands for years…Any time Scott Borchetta has heard the words ‘Scooter Braun’ escape my lips, it was when I was either crying or trying not to. He knew what he was doing; they both did. Controlling a woman who didn’t want to be associated with them. In perpetuity. That means forever.”

Like so many women, I was disgusted by the sale of her music catalog, especially in light of the fact that Braun has a history of bullying and manipulating the “Lover” singer-songwriter. Yes, artists have their work bought and sold all the time. That’s nothing new. But this sale didn’t feel like a business decision at all; it felt incredibly vindictive.

Taylor SwiftIt was yet another reminder that men in 2019 still think they can control women — everything from our bodies to our livelihoods. We’ve seen men using and abusing their power over and over. They use it as a way to undermine women, as a way to assert their dominance and make women feel “less than.”

That’s why Swift’s decision to re-record her music made me want to cheer “YES.” Why? Because it wasn’t just about her being able to own a version of her songs again or make money off her early work. This was about making a statement about women and power. It’s a statement that I heard loud and clear too: Women aren’t going to be controlled. What happened to Taylor happens to women every day; women speaking out and standing up for themselves and men trying to exert power and control. I’ll have none of it. None. Of. It.

Taylor SwiftPlus, who can forget Justin Bieber’s response? The singer posted a really mansplaining, non-apology apology Instagram post in which he basically scolded her for writing her blog post about the situation. He questioned her, insulted her…and then ended with “but we love you!” NO. What’s up with men who gaslight women? Why are men constantly trying to silence women?

The same thing happened to me this summer when a man tried to make me “rethink” a blog post — coincidentally, it was this post. What happened to Taylor happens to women every day; women speaking out and standing up for themselves and men trying to exert power and control. I’ll have none of it. None. Of. It.

Writer Danielle Campoamor summed it up perfectly in her recent CNN Opinion op-ed…

“As women, we’re to blame. We’re too aggressive. We just want attention. We don’t love ourselves enough. We’re manipulative. We’re not his type. We’re too much. We’re dramatic. We’re feuding.

And, like Swift, far too many of us are watching what we’ve worked so hard for fall into the hands of men who seek to control us, whether it be via our legacies, our reputations, our bodies, or our success.”

Yes, indeed. Women are taking back their own power and I’m here for it. All. Of. It. Are you with me, friends? What are your thoughts on Taylor Swift taking back her power?? I’d love to hear them!! xoxo