In The Pursuit of Happiness: ELLE’s editor-in-chief on makeup

I loved reading all your comments on makeup over the last few days. Everyone had such great stories, and I enjoyed learning a thing or two. Have you seen this quote from ELLE‘s editor-in-chief Robbie Myers? In a recent interview with Into The Gloss, the beauty and fashion maven, who “didn’t wear a lot of makeup” growing up, talked about one potential side effect of wearing makeup to work…

Here’s the problem with makeup at work, and I tell this to people in my office: if you start wearing makeup when you’re young, you’re going to be wedded to it. You get used to seeing your face that way and then you feel naked without it.

Also interesting was her comparison of younger vs. more senior members of the fashion industry…

It’s interesting — the fashion business takes women who wear no makeup very seriously, which I think is kind of great. If you look at what you’d call the more “senior” members of the fashion class, they don’t wear a ton of makeup. So… do you have to wear makeup to be taken more seriously? No. It’s just a matter of what your look is and how you feel about it.

What do you think, friends? It’s something to think about from someone “on the inside…” xoxo

[Via Huffington Post]

How do you deal with haters?

Remember when I wrote about certain anonymous creepsters for xoJane, friends? Well, if I’ve learned anything since graduating from high school and college, it’s that the bullies and the haters and the general creepies magically disappear once you graduated from high school and college. In a perfect world, they would. But unfortunately, they don’t.

So, my strategy for dealing with them has always been one of blind indifference — that sort of “turn-the-other-cheek” mentality with the hope that once they see they can’t get a rise out of me, they’ll get bored and move on to their next victim in the metaphorical playground that is the Internet. The strategy has worked wonders (yay!!), and save for the occasional comment here and there, I think I’ve finally found my balance and no longer want to spend my evenings drowning my poor sorrows in a tall glass of root beer.

But, embrace my haters? Even more, love my haters? Huh? That’s something I’ve never really thought of, and yet, that’s precisely what author Ann Friedman is doing. In her New York magazine article, Friedman describes how, instead of ignoring her haters, she actually loves them. What’s more, she even treasures all that hate mail she receives, taking it as a sign that her writing is really making an impact.

“Haters aren’t something to be feared,” she says. “They’re validation that you’re a big deal. And they’re fuel to do better. Now you’re inspired to prove that their jealousy is warranted.”

To illustrate her point, Friedman came up with a Hierarchy of Haters, a handy chart to help rate the hate. “The hierarchy just helps me to compartmentalize them. It’s not that I stop caring altogether, it’s that I care much less about the least consequential among them,” she says. She explains it like this…


*High-order haters are those who really know how to hurt you; they may have real power or influence in your social or professional world. These are the folks you might consider responding to, or otherwise defending yourself against.
*Low-level haters are usually people of little professional or social consequence to you. These are the folks who call you fat and ugly because they disagree with your views on, say, the federal debt.
*The lower a hater is on the pyramid, the more likely it is that the best response is to ignore him — while taking pride in the knowledge that, wherever the hater falls in this hierarchy, his or her very existence means you’re succeeding in having an impact.

How refreshing is this? What a great way to put a positive spin on something that could potentially be a very negative experience. Do you agree with the hierarchy? Anything you would add to it? How have you dealt with haters in the past, friends, either online or in your everyday life? xoxo

P.S. Haters gonna hate and Internet niceness.

[Top illustration by SoSticky]

Must-see: TIME magazine covers

Have you been following the groundbreaking, history-in-the-making coverage of the discussions taking place in the Supreme Court over marriage equality? Well, to celebrate the milestone, TIME magazine features profiles of gay couples in this week’s issue. The cover story, shot by photographer Peter Hapak, gives readers a peek inside the lives of couples from California and New York…
Christopher & Jake: “We met in Brooklyn in 2008 and we pretty much knew a week in that we wanted to spend the rest of our lives together. Getting married always seemed like something that wasn’t an option and never would be so we tried not to think about it too much. We knew we were happily committed and we made do with that. Now, just because of the way things are changing so quickly, we might get married.” –Christopher
Elaine & Mignon: “For me, marriage was the natural next step in the progression of our lives together. Marriage represents stability. After getting married I found that people had more respect for our union, and it gave our relationship a greater sense of legitimacy in society.” –Elaine
Miguel & Alexander: ““When we had our commitment ceremony, I have to say I was overwhelmed by how incredible the experience was. As a young gay man coming out, like many others, I struggled with my family’s lack of understanding. Having our families and loved ones there, supporting us and being so incandescently happy for us, was truly remarkable. For my family specifically, it really set it in stone for them that this is the person that I love and want to spend my life with.” –Miguel
 
I only have three word: It’s. About. Time. Marriage equality for all has been a long time coming, and, frankly, it’s long overdue in this country. It’s a basic human right, and just seeing Facebook turn red gets me excited for a future of possibilities. Can you feel the excitement, friends? xoxo